Casualty Of Love
by JacktheSinister JaketheJust
Summary: Roman and Cody have a loving relationship. After a tragic accident that leaves Cody unable to remember the last three years, how will Roman be able to cope trying to help Cody recover and remember, especially when Cody's heart is focused on a previous lover?
1. Miracle

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. ****This is a work of complete fiction.** As for the characters mentioned, this story does not depict their own personal feelings, thoughts, or ideas. Each character belongs to their rightful owners; themselves and the WWE

**Here's the new fic I promised! I hope everyone enjoys! Happy New Years! -JJ**

* * *

_**Miracle**_

_Roman reached across the console, taking Cody's hand in his, a broad smile on his lips as they sang along with the radio, the wind flying through their hair as they sped down the road with their windows all the way down. He looked over, those happy blue eyes making his heart soar. He poked his tongue out at the other man before laughing hard and looking back at the road, slowing down for the upcoming stop sign. "Ready for our vacation?" he asked, squeezing Cody's hand softly, stopping fully and looking over into those beautiful blue eyes again. "I know I am."_

_Cody nodded, smiling bright. "You think your students can handle you being away?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, taking in the devious look on his lovers face._

"_Summer break. No students, no class, no work for two weeks. Just you and me and the beach," Roman clarified, looking from side to side before heading back down the open road. "You sure you can give up that time for me?"_

_Cody rolled his eyes, playfully nudging Roman to the side. "Yeah, I think the store'll be okay for two weeks. Damien and Kofi can handle it," he teased back, smiling brighter at the happiness that radiated out of those grey eyes. "Just me and you?"_

_Roman nodded, turning his attention to Cody. "Yeah, me and you babe," he said, looking up, face dropping into a look of panic._

_Everything went black and all Roman could hear was the crunching of metal as the SUV slammed into them, their own vehicle overturning and rolling from the impact, roughly throwing Roman and Cody around in their seats before they finally came to a stop, the car resting on its hood._

_Roman winced, coughing up blood as he looked over to where Cody was hanging lifelessly in his seatbelt. "Cody?" he asked, voice cracked and panicky as he tried to reach over to get to his lover. He could only see the blood pouring down Cody's face, safety glass shattered all around them mixing with twisted metal and fiberglass. "Cody!" He couldn't feel anything but pain coursing through him, his entire body struggling to get free. He didn't notice his own heavy bleeding, just the cuts and abrasions on his lover's bare arms and face. "CODY!"_

* * *

Roman sat straight up in the hospital bed, shivering from the cold sweat he'd been in. He looked around the darkened white room, the heart monitor next to him beeping furiously. His eyes blindly wandered the room, the door flying open and his twin cousins running in, his father and one of his twin's wife following closely behind. "Where's Cody?" he asked suddenly, voice horse. He yanked angrily at his IV fluids, wincing at the pain in his hand before turning attention back to his family. "Get me out of here!"

Roman's father was the first to step forward, resting his large hand on his son's shoulder, pushing him back into the hospital bed. "Roman," he started softly, pushing back some of the long raven locks of his son's hair. "We need to talk first." He took in the worried and terrified look in Roman's grey eyes, his own brown ones soft.

"Sika," Trinity eased, stepping past the twins and taking a seat on the other side of Roman's bed. Her ebony skin was a nice contrast to Roman's bronze color as her hands moved up to brush his long raven hair back into a loose messy tail. She gave a soft, sympathetic smile. "Relax Roman. Just lay back down."

Roman didn't have much choice but to listen as he laid back against the pillows, noticing how sore his entire body actually was. "What happened?" he asked gently, looking down at his heavily bandaged left arm. He groaned, head aching as he closed his eyes, avoiding the look in each member of his family's.

"You and Cody where in an accident," Trinity started slowly, her own chocolate eyes looking from her husband and brother-in-law back to Roman. "An SUV T-boned you guys right behind the passenger side door and it caused the car to flip four times. You've been unconscious for the last three days, they moved you out of critical care yesterday." He paused, waiting for Roman to digest the information she was telling him.

Roman's eyes snapped open, the sound of crunching metal loud in his ears. "Cody!" he snapped, trying to get out of the bed again, this time, his father's hands pushing him down into the bed forcefully. "Is he… is he okay?" His eyes started to water, heart aching to hear that Cody was just fine.

"Josh, Jon, how about you two go get the nurse, let her know that he's awake," Sika said, stroking his thick mustache. He waited until the two were out of the room before he turned back to Roman. He gently bit his lower lip taking a deep breath.

Roman shook his head, tears blurring his vision. "No, Dad no," he whimpered, covering his face with his unbandaged hand, yanking at his IV tubes again. His brows furrowed together as he felt the hot tears rush down his cheeks into his fresh stubble and goatee. He didn't want to hear what his father had to say, not if it was as bad as he thought.

"Roman, no listen," Trinity eased, wrapping her arms around Roman's shoulders, pulling him into her, his face resting into the shoulder of her red blouse, the heat from his tears tearing at her heart. She shot Sika a dark look, the other man more than a little surprised. "He's okay. He's still in critical condition, but they think he's gonna be okay. Roman, look at me baby." She rested her hands on his cheeks, smiling sadly at him. "He hasn't woken up yet either. The doctors don't know when he will."

Roman nodded, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, relief filling him. He'd feared the worst when no one would tell him what had happened. "He's okay though?" he asked warily.

Trinity nodded, brushing back some of Roman's tears with her hands. "Yeah, he's okay. We'll know more when he wakes up," she reassured, nodding at Roman. She looked over his ashen face, both of his eyes black and a long scrape across his right cheek. He looked down his neck, the only thing showing being the bright seat belt bruise that was peeking out from under his hospital gown. "You have to rest though. After they say you can get out of this bed, we'll take you to see him."

Roman nodded again, feeling tired. He looked at his father, reaching out and resting his hand on Sika's arm. "Dad," he breathed, the door opening showing the twin men and a woman in scrubs, he assumed to be his nurse. "Tell Cody I'll see him soon, okay?"

Sika nodded, smiling softly. "I'll tell Dusty to pass the message along," he answered, standing and letting the nurse take vitals on Roman.

The next twenty or so minutes only seemed to blur together for Roman, the nurse and doctor on call that had shown up soon after, asking him diagnostic questions to check his alertness and memory. Once they'd finished he eased back onto his pillows, turning his head towards the window, his eyes fluttering over the expansive city, night all around it making the lights just glow beautifully.

He was alone again, this time due to the doctors wanting to do tests on him and it being so late. He shook his head, completely focused on how Cody was doing. He wanted to be with him. He sighed, thinking back to what he could remember. If he hadn't looked away from the road he would've seen the other vehicle coming. He could have avoided the accident. He whimpered, the vivid image of Cody's bloody face over taking his mind's eye. He could have avoided hurting Cody.

* * *

A few days later Roman was feeling a little better. He'd regained some strength in his body, and he was aching to get out of the room. He was getting updates from Trinity and other visitors that talked with Cody's family, Cody still in the ICU allowing only immediate family members in to see him. He sat up, looking out into the brightly lit city, thoughts focused on getting out of his bed finally. He looked over when he heard a knock at the door, two heads popping in and looking at him. He smiled instantly, knowing exactly who was coming into his room.

"You know when you fuck shit up, you really fuck it up!" the dirty blond teased, stepping in and shutting the door behind him and the other male. His blue eyes ran over his best friend, taking in the heavily bruised body. "How you feeling Rome?" he asked gently, wrapping his arm around the other man and leading him in. "Seth's been worried sick. Trin's got like forty fucking voicemails from him."

The slightly shorter male gave the blond a dirty look. "Fuck you Dean, I was worried and no one would bring me up here," he snapped, turning his baby face back to his best friend. "Anything you need Rome?" He took up a chair and scooted in next to the bigger man. He smiled softly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Roman shook his head, leave it to Dean and Seth to be his entertainment for the day. "I'm good," he answered, looking at Seth's freshly dyed hair, two thirds dark brown, one third a bright blond. He still didn't understand why Seth did it, but he couldn't say it didn't look good on the other man. He looked into the worried down brown eyes and smirked. "I'm tougher than that."

Seth nodded, watching as Dean pulled up a chair and sat next to him, the other man's legs straddling the chair, his arms crossed over the back rest.

"You too sore for a hug?" Dean asked, watching as Seth fiddled in his lap.

Roman shook his head, opening his arms slightly. He felt Seth nearly jump into them, the smaller body roughly knocking into him. He shook his head, wrapping his arms around Seth loosely, noticing how hard Seth was shaking.

"Roman, I was so scared when Josh called. They didn't know if you guys were gonna make it because it was so bad!" Seth whimpered, clinging to Roman tighter. "They wouldn't let us see you either." He'd been worried beyond words.

Dean sighed, shaking his head, his longer bangs falling into his soft blue eyes. "C'mon Seth, let 'em breathe," he teased, reaching over and patting Seth on the ass. "Or I'll tell Cody you were all over his boyfriend again."

Seth pulled away and stuck his tongue out. A stark contrast of his pink tongue against the well groomed brown of beard. "I was here first. We've only been friends since we were like five, Cody would understand," Seth retorted, pulling free and sitting back down. "Anyone else been here to visit?"

Roman shook his head. "Just family. You guys are the first ones not related by blood," he said, looking over them again. "Who else knows?"

Seth looked over at Dean before looking down at the floor, his fingers moving to touch his soft beard. "Well, Your dad called the University and let them know. Brad's worried. He called yesterday wanting to know if we knew anything. Evan's called a couple times. Drew and Ted have been blowing Dustin's phone up. He was telling us about it in the front lobby before we came up," he went on, thinking about all the others that had asked about them. "Sandow's been here almost every day to talk to Dusty."

Roman nodded, thinking of the tall man, his full beard shrouding most of his face, his dark hair always greased back. He'd never been a big fan of him, but he'd acted civil for Cody's sake since Sandow was his boss. "Did anyone call Mike?" he asked, thinking of Cody's last closest friend. "He needs to know too."

Dean and Seth exchanged a look, neither knowing if someone had already called Mike or not. "I'm not sure, we'll call him when we leave just to make sure," Seth started, looking into the bruised face and wishing there was something he could do to help. "You sure there isn't anything you need? We'll bring it to you."

Roman shook his head, smiling. "I'm okay Seth. You know Dean's gonna get jealous if you keep trying to be this attentive," he laughed, the deep stain on Seth's cheeks only making him laugh harder. He looked over, Dean's face barely holding a smile. "Actually, you think you can get me some water? My nurse forgets I'm awake all the time."

Seth nodded, getting up and bounding out the door in search of one of those large hospital cups and a water cooler.

"How are things with you two?" Roman asked once he was sure that Seth was out of earshot. "I mean I was only teasing." He took in the sudden change in Dean's demeanor to where he slouched down over the back of the chair, his chin resting on the backs of his hands.

Dean shrugged, shaking his head. "We're fine, I guess," he muttered, looking down at the polished floor. "He's still with Phil. They're fucking 'on' again."

Roman nodded, feeling a little bad for Dean. He knew the youngest man was more than a little oblivious to people and their feelings. He didn't want to bring up too much, knowing that it wasn't the time or the place. "You know, he's gotta have something for you," he started, looking down at the white sheets before looking back into Dean's blue eyes. "You're the only one that can touch him like you do. When he comes back I'll show you."

Dean shrugged, rolling his eyes gently. "Yeah right Rome. Stop trying to get my hopes up," he protested, turning towards the door as it suddenly opened and Seth popped back in carrying the water jug with an accomplished strut. "You're pretty proud of yourself."

Seth nodded, handing Roman the cup and sitting back down next to his best friend. "You know how much sweet talking it took me to get the damn nurse to help me out? Man, that head nurse of the floor is a total bitch," he explained, shaking his head. "I hope you don't end up in here, I'm not visiting you."

Dean just stared at Seth, a little shocked. "Well fuck you too," he snapped, looking up to find a broad smile and Samoan's face. "You see how much he fucking cares about my health." He shook his head, looking back at Seth incredulously. "Asshole."

Seth only smirked, giving Dean a sideways glance. "Don't get all bent out of shape," he teased, leaning back in the chair and laughing. "You know I'd be the first one there." He crossed his arms over his chest, the laughter slowly dying as he looked over into the blue eyes.

"Hey Seth, c'mere," Roman said after a moment, motioning for Seth to stand. "I wanna tell you something." He watched as Seth stood curiously before leaning in. Roman moved forward, wrapping an arm around Seth, his lips pressed close to Seth's ear as he grabbed a handful of the plump ass.

Seth jumped, swinging a fist without thinking, it landing right into Roman's sturdy jaw. "Shit Rome, I'm sorry!" he apologized hurriedly. After he saw the smile on Roman's lips he frowned, pulling back and sitting down. "That wasn't funny Roman!"

Dean shared a look with Roman, his eyes telling the grey ones that he conceded and that Roman won. He shook his head, looking over at the man sitting next to him, wondering what it would take for Seth to notice him. "We should probably go in a few. I'm sure other people want to see Rome."

Seth gave a small pout, looking from Roman to Dean, knowing that as long as they were there no one else would be allowed to visit. He wrinkled his nose, mentally cursing the rules and regulations of the floor that only allowed two people to visit at a time. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he finally said, looking down at the floor. "We'll be back tomorrow for a little while Rome. Okay?"

Roman nodded, opening his arms for Seth to give him a gentle hug, him and Dean bumping fists before the two let him alone. He sighed once they were gone, turning his head back towards his window and sinking fully into his pillows. He wished he could get out of his room.

* * *

"Well, we can take this IV port out now," the male nurse said, looking over Roman's hand before looking up into the grey eyes. "That's about the best news I can give you today." He gently as he could pulled the tape from Roman's still bruised hand. "Probably ready to get this out for a while now."

Roman nodded, watching the short blond haired man turn away from him to pull out a sterile alcohol prep strip packet and a small square of gauze. He looked over the dark blue scrubs, thinking that this nurse was the only one that had plain ones on. He winced, warm hands resting on his again.

"This might sting a bit. They had trouble getting this one in," he explained, looking up into the dark grey eyes, his own light brown ones trying to be reassuring. He turned back to his job with the IV. He opened the wipe and cleaned the area around the needle before setting it next to him on the bed and covered the area with the gauze, applying light pressure before swiftly pulling back the IV port.

Roman winced, gritting his teeth as the IV slipped free from him. "Why did they put it in my hand anyway?" he nearly growled, holding down the gauze when instructed to, the nurse placing a small bit of medical tape on it to keep it in place.

"Much better." Brown eyes looked up from his work after cleaning up. "They couldn't really see the veins in your arm because of your sleeve and your other arm was pretty tore up so it was a last resort. Most docs don't like putting 'em there and most patients don't like it either," he explained, walking over to the sharps box and disposing of the port. "My name's Jay by the way. I'll be your day nurse for the next few days. I don't have any information on when you'll be released yet, but you look good enough to go home in a few days. Good news right?"

Roman felt his heart stammer in his chest. The idea of going home was wonderful, but going home alone was not. He shrugged, looking down at his lap. "It's okay I guess," he mumbled, looking down at the sudden warmth on his upper arm, a soft smile on Jay's pink lips.

Jay paused, looking down into the turned face. He could easily see the uneasiness. "You thinking about the guy that was brought in with you?" he asked gently, pulling up a chair and sitting next to the bed. "Has anyone told you anything yet?" He crossed his legs at the knee, leaning back in the chair, arms crossed over his chest.

Roman turned, shaking his head. "Not much. He's still in a coma. That's all I know," he answered, fists clutching his blankets. "I just want to see him."

Jay stood, nodding. "Give me a minute. I'll be right back," he said, smiling before almost darting out of the room, leaving Roman to look after him confused. He returned a few moments later with a wheelchair. "Well, you can walk a bit right?"

Roman nodded, looking over the chair then at his nurse. "What's that for?" he asked, flipping the sheets back to show flannel black and red plaid lounge pants and blue non-slip hospital socks.

"You wanna see him right?" Jay asked, securing the breaks before walking over and holding his hand out to support Roman as he stood. "Well, we're going to take a quick trip down to his room. They moved him this morning so he can get visitors." He led Roman to the chair, adjusting the hospital gown to cover the broad back. "You're pretty tall."

Roman chuckled, looking up from his chair. "Six foot four," he chuckled, grabbing the arms as Jay started off out of the room. He felt his heart pounding in his chest. He was excited to finally get to see his lover, touch his hand. He bit his lower lip, watching as people seemed to blur by. He felt nervousness creep into him, knowing that there was a possibility that the sight of Cody could easily send him into tears. At that moment, the last time he'd seen Cody was when he was hanging upside down in their mangled car, covered in blood. He shivered, heart stopping when Jay stopped him at a room door.

"He's in here," Jay said softly, pushing open the door and wheeling Roman in. He stopped, the room dark from the shades being pulled down. He looked down into the emotional eyes of his patient, keeping his mouth shut.

Roman looked around the cool room, his eyes focusing on the body laying in the bed in front of him. His brows furrowed in sadness as he shakily stood from the chair. He took a few steps towards his lover, the machines around Cody's paled form beeping with his heart rate, brain waves, and IV fluids.

Cody's boyish face was slightly sullen, skin paled and bruised. He had tubes hooked up all over him, an IV in his left arm, a feeding tube running up his nose on the right side with a blood pressure cuff on his upper arm. He was lucky not to have a face respirator for oxygen or a breathing tube, instead he just had the nose tubes. His body was still, only a twitch or two barely evident every few moments.

Roman padded to the side of Cody's bed, slipping his hand around Cody's, the tears already thick on his lashes as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to the scratched forehead. He took in the healing cuts all over Cody's right side of his face, his right arm heavily bandaged with a splint. "I'm so sorry," he breathed, pulling back just enough to move down to press a light kiss to Cody's unresponsive lips. "This is all my fault. If I'd been watching the road. You wouldn't have gotten hurt."

Jay watched silently, heart panging at the sight of tears on Roman's bronze face. He smiled softly, glad that he could at least reunite the two for a brief period of time. He leaned against the wall, keeping quiet.

Roman pulled a chair from across the room up, taking Cody's hand in his again. "How're you feeling? Anyone been to visit? Seth and Dean came by earlier this morning to see me. Jon and Trin came by yesterday. Has Dusty been giving you my messages?" he asked softly, tears steadily flowing as he looked into Cody's still face. "We're gonna go home together, okay? I'll wait for you until you wake up babe. I promise."

Jay felt a tear slide down his cheek, his hand quickly brushing it away before Roman saw it. Even thought he was supposed to be a professional, he still couldn't ignore the pain in people's faces and words when they saw friends and family. "We can't stay too long Mr. Reigns," he eased out, giving a sympathetic smile. "We can come back down later before my shift ends, okay?"

Roman nodded, eyes never leaving Cody. "You hear that? I'll be back later. I love you," he whispered, standing and leaning in to kiss Cody's lips again, a few tears falling down on Cody's cheeks. He pulled back, wiping them away. "I love you." He pressed a kiss to Cody's hand before laying it back on the bed, and stepping back and turning to Jay and the wheelchair. He sat down, silent as he was wheeled back to his room. He didn't share any more words with Jay other than a whispered 'Thank You' when he got back into his bed, tears gone and face dry. He looked back towards the window, finding that it was his only comfort in the room.

* * *

(A/N): Chapter 1 of our newest rollercoaster! Just wanted to say hello and I hope everyone's ready for a really wild ride, filled with love, hate, betrayal, confusion, hurt, and many more things! Well, thoughts? Feelings? Let me know loves! Onwards and Upwards! Title is Miracle by Shinedown

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	2. There For You

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

**Note: Updates will take place on Mondays and Fridays. (If all goes well, I'll be able to keep that schedule no problem). I'm also trying something different where I reply via message to reviews. Enjoy! -JJ  
**

* * *

_**There For You**_

"You're getting released today," Jay announced two days later, popping a thermometer in Roman's mouth and waiting for the reading. "I won't lie and say I won't miss you. You're the nicest guy on the floor." He smiled, the narrowed grey eyes focused on him. "You'll get to spend more time with Mr. Rhodes now."

Roman nodded, the thermometer beeping and Jay walking away. "Yeah," he breathed, almost jittery at how excited he was to get out of the hospital room and down to see Cody. "You don't have to wheel me out to the front. I'm going right down to Cody's room."

Jay nodded, tapping away at the computer set up across the room to input all of that information for the patient in the room. "If they ask, I did. We get in trouble if we don't make sure you make it out in one piece," he explained, smiling over his shoulder at the bigger man, looking over the handsome face, the stubble gone leaving clean shaven cheeks around a neatly trimmed goatee that surrounded the tan lips. His eyes eased over the tight fitting black short sleeved t-shirt and the dark washed denim jeans down to a pair of black and white sneakers. He shook his head, knowing he shouldn't check out his patients, but couldn't help it when one looked as good as Roman.

Roman nodded, looking down at his black duffel bag that his father had brought him a few days earlier. It had all of his clothes and the 'Get Well Soon' cards that people had brought him. "Don't worry, I won't get you in trouble Jay," he answered, standing when his doctor came in, a fresh smile on the little woman's lips.

"Don't run off yet," she teased, her long brown hair curled softly around her face, her caramel face shining under her black rimmed glasses. "Just a few questions before Jay can give you your release papers." She took up a chair next to the bed, motioning for Roman to sit back down. "Are you going to have some help the first couple days home?"

Roman nodded, listening and responding the same to all her other questions, saying that he felt safe at home, that he had support, that he would look into counseling if he felt the need to. "C'mon Dr. Torres, I'm ready to go home," he growled, looking down at the full figured woman before looking back at his bag. "I have someone waiting on me."

The woman sighed, nodding. She knew she wasn't going to get through to Roman while his lover was three floors down. "Listen Roman," she started, setting her binder against her crossed legs. "Take care of yourself okay. I'm serious, if you don't, you'll end up back in here and that's not good for either of you."

Roman only nodded, taking head to the warning. "Thanks Eve," he sighed, looking up into the sparkling brown eyes. "I'll make a follow up in a few days."

Eve smiled, patting Roman's knee lightly before standing and making her way out of the room. She looked back at the door with a soft, helpless smile, knowing that it would take longer than a few days for Roman to call her office for an appointment, if he even did at all.

Roman waited alone as Jay slipped out of the room to get his paperwork. He fiddled with the strap to his bag, pulling it over his shoulder just as Jay walked in, the light green scrubs making him easy to notice. "Done?" he asked suddenly, reaching out for the small pile of papers.

Jay nodded, handing over the papers and stepping back. "Yeah, you're free to go Mr. Reigns," he said, smiling. "Hopefully if we meet again, it won't be here." He turned, leaving Roman so he could leave at his leisure.

"Roman."

Jay looked over his shoulder, confused. He'd barely gotten to the door open when Roman had spoke.

"Call me Roman," Roman said, smiling at the nurse. "And thanks for letting me see Cody." He couldn't express how thankful he really was to get a few stolen moments down with his lover. He waved as Jay nodded and left. He stood from his bed, looking around the room and taking a deep breath before making his way out of the room and down to Cody's room, smiling and waving at the nurses as he left.

Roman couldn't get to Cody's room fast enough, his feet moving swiftly against the polished floor. He knocked lightly, opening the door and looking into the bright room, the curtains open with two other people already in the room.

"Roman!" a sandy blond yelped, jumping up and walking over, wrapping the bigger man in a hug. His blue eyes shut tight, relaxing when he felt one strong arm wrap around him. "Shit, we were worried about you."

"Not worried enough to visit," Roman teased, looking down into the square face, taking in the business suit and red tie. "You just get off work Ted?"

Ted shook his head. "I'm on lunch. I've been coming up almost every day to talk to Dusty. You know all the details?" he explained, leading Roman in and pushing him to sit where he'd been holding Cody's hand, taking Roman's duffel and setting it off to the side. "He looks good today."

Roman nodded, looking down into the still face. He had to admit that Cody had a little more color to him and didn't look quite as pale. He sat next to the bed and took up Cody's hand, running his thumb over the back of the other man's hand. "No one's told me to much about his condition."

The other man nodded, leaning forward so that he could speak softly. He ran a hand through his slightly greasy black hair, pushing it back. He opened his mouth, stopping when he saw the dark look on Ted's face.

"Don't you say a word," Ted growled, sitting down on the visitors couch with him. "Anytime you say something, we need a fucking dictionary to make out half the words Damien."

Damien just glared at Ted. "Well excuse me for have a superior vocabulary to that of a prosperous business man like yourself," he apologized sarcastically, turning his beady eyes to Roman.

"Don't argue," Roman growled, shooting both dirty looks. He didn't want Cody to hear arguing. He just wanted the other man to relax and recover until he was able to wake up. "Please, for Cody's sake."

Damien nodded, his dark look falling into a softer more relaxed position. He looked over at Ted, those blue eyes focused on the outside. "Do you need anything?" he asked gently, those grey eyes looking back at him. "I'm more than Cody's boss, he's one of my best friends. I just want to make sure everything's okay when he comes home."

Roman shook his head. "No, I think everything's okay," he murmured, actually looking at Cody's wounds, the black and red scabs on his face looking the worst. He could see the same mark he bore on his chest on Cody's from the seat belt. He squeezed Cody's hand gently, watching as the broad chest rose shallowly before falling.

"Well, I should return to the store. Let me know if anything changes," Damien said a few silent minutes later, standing and shaking hands with both Roman and Ted before straightening out his long jacket and walking out.

Roman shook his head, leaning in closer to whisper to Cody. "I don't think I'll ever understand what you see in him Codes. He still sounds like a pretentious fuck," he chuckled, tears clouding his vision, waiting for Cody's same retort that he'd always heard. He sighed, leaning back, closing his eyes to fend off the tears.

Ted watched Roman closely, heart nearly breaking at how helpless Roman looked. "Really, if you need something, let us know Roman. Dusty's been keeping my dad updated, so you can't lie if you do," he said, smiling when the Samoan man looked back at him, the long tied back raven hair slipping over his tattooed shoulder. "Dusty's gonna be by in about an hour. I'll give you two some time alone."

Roman thanked Ted before giving him another tight hug. He retuned to Cody, listening as the door shut behind him. "I can visit you more now," he breathed, scooting in a little closer to the hospital bed. "They released me today. My arm's still a bit sore but most of the road rash is gone." He gently raised Cody's hand so he could press a kiss to it. "I don't know if I'll be able to go home without you though. It's not home when you're gone."

Cody's hand twitched, his fingers slightly curling around Roman's hand.

Roman smiled softly, knowing Cody could hear him. He leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to the warm hand. "I just want you to wake up," he murmured, pulling back. "You remember last summer's cookout at our place? Remember how Drew almost drowned Brad in the pool? And how Seth went streaking past the bonfire and Mike was chasing him with his shorts because Maryse was checking him out? Yeah, that was a fun time. We'll have another one when you come home. I'll even get your favorite hotdogs." He held Cody's hand tighter, another twitch in the smaller hand making him hopeful.

* * *

"Roman?" a well-rounded man asked, stepping into the room. His slicked back thinning blond hair was bright in the sunshine that was slowly dying in the room as sunset rolled in. He walked over to where the bigger man was sitting, arms crossed over his chest, head lolled to one shoulder as he slept on the visitors sofa. "Hey." He reached out and pressed a hand to the strong shoulder, a gentle smile on the weathered face.

"Dusty?" Roman asked, jerking awake and looking at Cody. His body loosened up when he realized nothing had changed during his short nap. "What are the doctors saying? They won't tell me anything."

Dusty shook his head, patting Roman's legs off of the sofa so he could sit down. "It's not great Roman," he started, the worried face making him look down at the legs of his well worn blue jeans. He rubbed his hands against his chunky thighs, taking a deep breath. "He's lucky nothing serious was broken when you guys were hit, but his lower four ribs are fractured and the rest on his right side are heavily bruised. His wrist is fractured in two places, and they didn't see the need to cast it." He took a breath, looking over at Roman who thankfully, was looking out the window at the partial view of the parking lot.

"They don't think he has any serious brain injuries. But they won't know everything until he wakes up. His legs are really bruised up. Even if he was awake he wouldn't be able to walk much, if at all. The seat belt broke his collarbone. Other than that he's okay other than they don't know why he's like this," Dusty went on, blue eyes running from Roman down to his light brown cowboy boots. "It's just a waiting game."

"He looks good today," Roman murmured, taking in all the information. He knew Dusty was only paraphrasing it but at least he could understand it when Dusty said it, he would've been even more confused if he'd let Damien do it. "I've been down a few times from my room."

Dusty nodded, getting up and walking over to the empty chair next to Cody. He took his youngest son's hand in his and held it tightly. "Your Mama sends her love," he started, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Cody's hand. "So do your sisters and Dustin. He'll be up later to keep you company. Drew called today to check on you. He's flying back from Scotland today. He should be up to see you tomorrow."

Roman listened as Dusty went on about how things were at home and how much the kids missed Cody. He let out a silent, hurt sigh, thinking of how much Cody's little nieces and nephews adored him. He told himself to keep from tearing up, the sound of Cody's laughter ringing through him.

Dusty looked over at Roman, knowing it had to be painful for him to be there. "You need a ride home Roman? I'll take you back so you can at least drop your things off," he offered, resting Cody's hand back down on the bed. "C'mon, at least so you can get some real food. Michelle will make you something so you can come back up."

Roman thought for a moment, turning his attention to Cody. He didn't want to leave but he had to at least go home to drop his things off and start the paperwork with the insurance company over their totaled vehicle. "Yeah, just drop me off at home. I don't want to bother you guys. You have enough going on too," he answered, voice deep.

"It's not a bother Roman, you know that. Michelle loves you like one of her own, and you're always welcome at our place, even if it's just for a meal. We know how much you care about Cody and we want to be there if you need us," Dusty protested, standing and grabbing Roman's bag. "C'mon. Visiting hours are over in a couple hours. You want to be back before then."

Roman nodded, standing and leaning over Cody, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead. "I'll be back soon. I love you," he breathed, looking into the still heavily bruised face. He sighed, closing his eyes and turning away from his lover, and following the other man out of the room.

* * *

The next day Roman helped the nurses give Cody a quick wipe down bath, showing just how bruised the smaller male was. His legs were still covered in black and blue bruises, his torso showing exactly where the seat belt had held him in place. Roman had to back away for part of it, the sight of his lover so injured nearly killing him.

Afterwards, he smiled, the color a little bright on Cody's cheeks. "Feel better? I know I did when they finally let me get a real shower. Wait till you come home, I'll make you a nice hot bath and you can relax," he promised, taking up Cody's hand in his, looking over the healing skin. "Drew's supposed to come by today. He cut his visit home short to see you."

Cody's upper lip twitched upwards, his hand slowly closing around Roman's.

Roman smiled, it was the most that Cody had moved at one time, and he hoped it was a sign for some improvement. "Trin and the twins send their love. Evan even wanted me to tell you he misses you. I know you don't really like him."

"Then why would you tell 'im something like that?"

Roman's head shot up, dark blue eyes meeting his. His narrowed only slightly, heart pounding at the square jawed man, a light stubble on his cheeks. "Drew," he breathed, telling himself to not to let his personal emotions get the best of him. He looked the other man over, the dark t-shirt clinging to his well muscled torso, black jeans hugging his legs. He turned back to Cody, leaning in so he could whisper to his lover, "Drew's here babe."

Drew took a step in, taking the chair that Roman was backing away from. "How is he?" he asked, eyes looking over both Roman and Cody, cringing at the severity of their wounds. "Dusty told me some things over the phone."

Roman rattled off everything that Dusty had told him the day before. "They don't know when he'll wake up. Right now, we're just waiting on him. They're turning him every few hours from side to side to his back to keep him from getting bed sores," he explained, standing at the foot of the bed, arms crossed over his chest as he closely watched Drew take Cody's hand in his. "You didn't have to fly back from Scotland so early."

"Don't sound so bitter Roman," Drew eased, turning his head to the other man. "I'm only here because I was worried." He turned back to Cody, putting on his best smile. "Your boyfriend still doesn't like me. I wonder if it'll take another three years before he does."

Roman grunted, rolling his eyes. It wasn't a secret that he wasn't Drew's biggest fan, but it was only because of Drew and Cody's past together. "I doubt it," he muttered, looking away from the two to focus on the parking lot.

Drew gave a gentle sigh, shaking his head. "Yeah, I'm sure," he murmured, really taking in Cody's face. "So, what happened? I just know that you guys were hit."

"We were t-boned right behind his door. Someone skipped a stop sign and nailed us," Roman explained, body starting to shake. He closed his eyes, seeing the front end of the SUV in full detail. "We were lucky."

Drew was silent, looking from Cody to Roman. "Considering neither one of you are dead, I'd say so. Dusty said the impact rolled your car," he chirped, sadly letting his eyes run back to his ex-lover's lax face. "I know you don't like me much, but if you need anything, you know I'm just a call away."

Roman nodded, letting out a held breath. "I appreciate it," he murmured lowly, letting his grey eyes meet dark blue ones. "I'm kinda glad you're here. Cody would want to see you." He looked up into his lover's face, his upper lip twitching up into a smile again. "He's smiling."

Drew looked over, barely catching the small movement before it was over. "He's probably happy that we aren't arguing anymore," he mused, smiling lightly. "I can't say it's not a nice change. He's only been begging us to be friends for the last three years."

"I wouldn't go that far Galloway," Roman bit, smirking playfully.

"Yeah, you're right, that's pushing it."

"Hey guys, how's he doing?"

Both sets of eyes looked at the head poking in the door, two bright chocolate eyes looking in.

"He's better today," Roman started, smiling softly at the small male walking in. He looked over the boyish face and short brown hair, shaking his head slightly. He hadn't seen him in almost six months. "How're you Evan?"

"Can't complain. I just wanted to come and check on you and Cody though," he explained, crossing arms over his chest, looking at the sitting Scotsman. "Hey Drew."

"Hey Evan," Drew replied, looking from Evan to Roman, one eyebrow raised. He looked back to Cody. "And he was irritated with me being here."

"Don't start Galloway," Roman warned, looking back to the shortest man. "We're okay, well… I'm okay." He slightly deflated, sitting down on the sofa, leaning forward so he could rest his elbows on his knees, his hands folded under his chin. "We're still waiting on Cody to wake up."

Evan nodded, taking the seat next to Roman. "I won't stay long. Can I talk to him for a minute?" he asked, looking over to where Drew's hand still held Cody's. He earned a nod and stood, walking over to Cody's other side. "Hey Cody, it's Evan. I uh… I just wanted check on you. You wake up soon okay? Roman's really worried about you, we all are." He rested a gentle hand on Cody's arm, making sure to keep as far away from the brace as possible. "Keep me posted Rome."

Roman nodded, waving slightly. He watched Evan walk back out the door, a little uncomfortable to be alone with Drew again. "We haven't talked in months," he went to explain, wondering why he suddenly felt the need to do so to Cody's ex-lover.

"I didn't say a word," Drew answered, looking over into the conflicted eyes. "Look, I know we all have pasts. You and Evan are the same as Cody and I. It's the past, he knows that and he wouldn't hold it against you for just talking to him."

Roman shrugged, thinking of the many nights him and Cody had spent arguing about them talking to their ex's. He'd promised that he wouldn't talk to Evan much for Cody's sake and it felt sort of like he'd broken it.

Drew sighed, looking to the darkening sky. "I came here right from the airport. I'll let you spend some time with him before hours are over," he hinted, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Cody's hand. "I'll be back tomorrow sometime."

Roman said his good byes quickly, taking the freshly empty seat and scooped up Cody's hand once the door had closed. "I'm sorry," he apologized, sighing. "He just rubs me the wrong way and he pisses me off." He sucked in a deep breath, leaning in. "I didn't know Evan would show up either. I kept my promise, the last time I talked to him was months ago."

A light knock filled the room, catching Roman's attention as a little female nurse walked in, her dark brown hair pulled back into a high pony tail, her bright brown eyes and toothy smile focused on Roman. She moved in, greeting both quickly before going about getting the information for her vitals chart. "Visiting hours are almost over for today," she said gently, her British accent thick.

Roman nodded, dreading going home. He barely slept when he was there and if he did manage to get comfortable enough to catch a nap it was either on the couch or in his recliner. "I'll be back tomorrow babe," he started, gripping Cody's hand tighter. "I love you Cody."

"You know, I'll be his nurse tonight," the woman started, her sweet face soft on the big man. "There're some extra blankets in the cabinet, as long as you're quiet, I think it'll be okay if you stay with him tonight."

Roman looked at her almost dumb founded. "Really?" he asked, smiling bright. "Thank you so much!" He turned to Cody, that upper lip twitching into a smile. "I think you made him happy too."

"Just remember to be quiet, so no late night giggles, okay?" she teased, resting her hand on Roman's forearm. "I'm Layla, if you need anything, let me know. We'll be back in, in an hour to turn him."

Roman nodded blankly, more excited than anything that he could spend the entire time just talking with Cody. Between family and friends visiting, he didn't get too much time alone with him. He sat down again, taking up Cody's hand and pressing kiss after kiss to it. "You hear that? I'm gonna stay with you tonight."

Cody's eyes fluttered, his hand twitching in Roman's. His face tightened in pain, his body tensing. He could hear words floating around him, but he couldn't make them out. Everything sounded like he was underwater. He groaned just slightly, his eyes barely opening. Everything was blurry and hazy in the artificial light. He could only make out a black blur in front of him, a worried voice vibrating into him. "Ro?" he asked, voice raspy and hoarse.

Roman nodded, tears in his eyes as he kneeled right next to the head of the bed so that he was eye level with Cody. "Hey baby, it's me. It's Ro," he whimpered, lifting Cody's hand to his lips. "Its me. It's okay, take your time." He could barely keep quiet as he watched blue eyes flutter closed before they slowly opened again. "Cody…."

Cody's brows furrowed, the excited voice something he swore he knew just by how at ease it made him but he couldn't place it. As his vision started to clear he took in the bronzed face. He opened his mouth, exhaling gently before barely being able to haorsly whisper, "Who… who are you?"

* * *

(A/N): Cliffhanger? I say, yes! Anyway, Finally, we're getting somewhere. I really felt like we were off to a slow start with this story, so this should make things speed up a bit. Well, we have a little back story of people's history. I hope that it's pretty clear, if not, it will be as we progress. Well, thoughts? Emotions? Let me know loves! Onwards and Upwards! Title is There For You by Flyleaf. And Since I forgot last chapter. Story title is Casualty of Love by Jessie J.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	3. Picking Up Pieces

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 3**

Note: If you hear about a human pop sickle in the next few days, it's probably me... I live in the midwest and we were just hit with a blizzard/snowstorm today... 8 inches in less than 24 hours with a high of -12 degrees F. This bites...

* * *

_**Picking Up Pieces**_

Roman sat in the visitor's lounge, lower lip slowly starting to bleed from how hard it was being worried between his teeth. His eyes were focused on a spot far across the floor. One hand was balled into a tight fist, the other wrapping around it just as tight, both resting in front of his wounded lip. Sharp elbows were digging painfully into his knees as he slouched forward, but he didn't notice the dull ache. He could only think of the first words out of Cody's mouth.

_Who… who are you?_

Roman sighed, closing his eyes, both burning from his idle stare and the threat of impending tears. He'd been rushed from the room after that, Cody's nurse rushing in after noticing that his stats had changed. He looked up, hurried, squeaking footsteps catching his attention. "Dusty!" he gasped, standing straight, arms dropping to his side, tongue running over the little scrape in his lip to clean the fresh dribble of blood.

Dusty wasn't alone, behind him was Cody's mother, a small, petite woman with the same dark brown hair only she wore hers long but at that moment it was tied back into a low ponytail, her eyes red from crying. Behind them was Dustin, Cody's older half brother. He had the same face as his father, square and strong but he didn't have the same wrinkles, despite being Cody's senior by 16 years. He had a small stubble of blond on his head, that Roman was sure would be shaved away soon and a small trail of blond facial hair that started right at the underside middle of his lower lip and trailed down to the end of his rounded chin.

"He's awake?" the woman asked, wrapping her arms around Roman's middle, letting loose a small sob into his chest. "Oh Roman!" She held even tighter to her son's lover, taking comfort in the strong arms that wrapped around her.

"The doctors are looking at him," Roman said softly, pulling back from her so he could see her face, now shining with thankful tears. "His heart rate jumped really high when he woke up. One of them will come talk to us when they get him calmed down and ready to see people."

"See Michelle, it's all okay," Dusty eased, wrapping his arms around his wife and giving Roman a heart warming smile. "It's all going to be okay, I told you we have a strong boy, he'll make a full recovery, I bet you."

Roman tried to smile back, but found it to be nearly impossible. He sighed, looking back down at the floor, sitting back down. He felt his lower lips slip back into his mouth, wincing at the sting of his teeth sinking right back into the groove he'd already made.

"Are you the family of Cody Rhodes?" A tall doctor asked, stepping into the room, his bright blue scrubs almost lighting the already bright room up. He earned several nods, his dark eyes rolling over everyone. "Well, we had to sedate him so he's a little out of it. He was really upset and confused and to keep him from hurting himself we had to bind his hands to the rails. Don't worry, it won't hurt him and after he's fully calmed down we'll take them off. But as of right now, he's alert and doing well. We'll be in tomorrow to run some tests and see what kind of injuries or special attention he may need."

"Special attention?" Dustin asked, crossing his large arms over his chest. "What's that supposed to mean?"

The doctor held up his hands, the irritation and worry evident in the bigger male's voice. "Some patients have troubles with memory, others have issues with speech or even walking. It's all things we can test when we see him in the morning. After he gets some actual sleep he'll be more alert. And we'll run some more tests on him like an MRI to check his brain to see if he's got anything we missed before," he clarified, smiling slightly. "As of right now though, he's a medical miracle. Most patients wake up slowly and are pretty out of it for the first day or so, Cody was already speaking and moving around a bit."

Roman let Cody's family shake the doctors hand before he stepped up and thanked the Hispanic man. "Um, I don't know how relevant this is, but if he has memory loss, how will you know?"

"We have a series of questions we ask to determine his state of mind and judge what he can and can't remember. Some patients have a short term of memory loss, other's can miss chunks of time especially right before the accident. Don't worry too much tonight, we'll find out more in the morning."

Roman nodded, watching as the doctor turned back to Cody's mother and father.

"You can go in and see him, but I would suggest only two at a time and only for a short time. He needs the rest tonight. If you have any questions, just have them page me. I'm Doctor Del Rio."

Roman watched the doctor leave them in the waiting room, both Dusty and Michelle turning to look at him. "I'll see him later, go see your son," he encouraged, forcing out a sure smile. He sighed once they left, sitting back down in his chair and covering his face with his hands.

"Rome, what's going on? Cody's the calmest when he's with you," Dustin asked, sitting down next to the other man. "What happened?"

Roman shook his head. "He doesn't remember me Dust," he breathed, tears blurring his vision. "He didn't know who I was when he woke up and he freaked out. That's why they sedated him and when he realized what was going on he was fighting them too."

"It's probably a temporary thing," Dustin encouraged, resting his hand on Roman's tattooed shoulder. "Look at me bro." One those grey eyes met his dark brown ones he smiled softly. "Cody would never forget you. You're the only person he's felt this way about I know that for a fact. Keep your chin up. Do that for me okay? Cody's gonna need you more than ever when he gets out of here."

Roman nodded, giving a slight smile in return. "Thanks Dust," he murmured, looking back down at the floor, a deep unsettling feeling swirling in the base of his heart. He hoped this was the worst of it, but deep down he could tell that it was only the beginning.

* * *

The next day Roman was sitting next to Cody's bed, his hands tightly clasped in his lap as he sat with Michelle and Dusty, ready for the questioning to begin.

"Do you have any idea why you're here in the hospital Mr. Rhodes?" Del Rio asked, looking down at his clip board before looking up into the less than enthused face of his patient.

"Does it look like I have any idea why I'm here?" Cody asked snippily, looking from his father back to Roman, wondering why that face seemed so familiar even though he'd never seen it before.

"Okay, what's the last thing you remember?"

Cody thought hard, shaking his head against the pillows, a sharp pain shooting through his body. "Getting coffee with Drew. We do it every Thursday to catch up during my lunch break," Cody answered, finding it really was the last thing he remembered.

"Do you know what year it is?"

"2010, what kind of question is that?" Cody asked, shaking his head at the man at the foot of his bed. "What kind of doctor are you?"

Del Rio shared a shocked look with the others in the room before looking back down at his clip board. "Mr. Rhodes, um, there's no easy way to say this but it's 2013. I'm a neurologist. You were in a car accident and struck your head on the frame. You're suffering from memory loss. This is probably temporary, but we can't be sure how long it will take you to regain your full memory, if you ever will."

Cody looked at his father, noticing how his face seemed much thinner than the last time he'd seen him. "Dad?" he asked, turning his head. "Is that true? What's going on?"

"You and Roman… do you remember Roman?" Dusty asked, hopeful to see some glimmer of recognition in his son's eyes. The slow shake of Cody's head only solidified just how bad it was. He looked into the closed eyes of the Samoan. "Cody, Roman's your…."

"Roommate," Roman cut in, opening his saddened eyes. "I'm your roommate. We were going down to the coast for a few days for a vacation. We were t-boned and it flipped our car. You've been out for about 10 days. Glad to see that you're doing better buddy."

Cody looked at the other man, confused. "I don't remember you at all," he started gently, feeling a little bad for how bad he'd freaked out the night before at the handsome male. "When did we meet?"

Roman smiled, jaw tightening to fight off the tears that were building up in the backs of his eyes. "We didn't meet until that summer. You helped me at Sandow's bookshop," he explained, voice starting to shake. "So we haven't really met yet."

Cody looked down at his lap, a sudden weight settling in his heart. He thought hard about the words, something unsettling about the entire situation. It didn't feel right, but he didn't have a choice but to accept it. "Where's Drew?" he asked a moment later, missing the hurt look that flashed across Roman's face.

"He'll be up later today, he just got back from Scotland," Michelle eased, smiling softly at her son telling herself to wait to talk to Roman until they were out of the room. "I'll call him in a few and have him come up as soon as he's ready baby."

Cody nodded, closing his eyes. "Sounds good," he breathed, yawning wide.

"I'm gonna head home then. I'll make sure the house is clean for when you get to come home," Roman murmured, trying to keep up his false cheerfulness. "You get better quick okay? You still owe me a trip to the beach."

Cody felt his lips turn up into a smile, somehow the playful banter only making him feel a little more at ease. "Yeah, you'll have to help remember all of it first," he answered, cracking one blue eye open, swearing he saw that bright smile fall as Roman stood and turned towards the door.

Roman paused, wondering if he could get away with actually hugging the other man. He felt every muscle in his body telling him to just do it, but after a moment of mentally fighting with himself he decided against it and took a step towards the door. Once he was outside he let out a tired, heartbreaking sigh. "Yeah, your roommate…." He shook his head, telling himself to wait and keep from crying there in the hallway.

"Roman?" Michelle asked, stepping out of the room, shutting the door behind her. "Here I'll walk down with you." She hooked their arms, leading the bigger man to the elevators. "Why'd you tell him that?"

"If you woke up and couldn't remember even meeting Dusty, how much more stressful would it be for him to tell you that you and him were married?" he asked, looking down into the bright blue eyes. He smiled softly, looking back at the elevator doors they were approaching. "This'll be easier on him, at least until he remembers more."

"This can't be permanent Roman," she whispered, refusing to believe that Cody would never remember those three years. "I've been praying every day and night for him to be okay, now that we know he's alright, I can pray twice as hard for his memory to return. It may take some time, but he'll remember."

"Thanks Michelle, I appreciate it, but right now I have to go home and move some things around so when he can come home, everything's in place," he said, pushing the down button. "I'll call later to check on him."

Michelle sighed, pulling Roman into a motherly hug. "If you need anything Roman, you just call me okay. Promise me you will!" she near pleaded, her heart breaking at the sorrow in the grey eyes.

Roman only nodded, stepping into the elevator as the doors dinged and opened. He watched the doors shut between them and he let out choked breath, the tears already starting to form in his eyes. "Yeah, roommates," he murmured, covering his face with one hand, his eyes closing tight. "Fucking roommates."

* * *

Roman waited outside on the front steps of his and Cody's Spanish style home, his cell phone sliding from hand to hand as he waited. His eyes were focused on the road, sure that it wouldn't take long, but he didn't dare start working on his own for fear of being unable to do what he knew needed to be done.

It wasn't long before two cars pulled up, one with Dean and Seth, the other with one of his twin cousins Jon and his wife Trinity. "Hey guys, thanks for coming over so fast," he greeted, all four of them looking at him strangely as he stuffed his phone in his front pocket. "I need some help moving the house around."

"Not that I'm complaining Rome, but you need all four of us?" Trinity asked, looking from Roman to her husband, running a hand through the long, wavy hair before walking up the steps. "You and Cody don't have that much furniture."

"No, um," Roman started, jaw tightening. "Cody woke up last night," he bit out, leading them inside. He stopped at the door, slipping his flip flops off and stepping onto the cool carpet of the living room.

"Shit, why didn't you say that first?" Dean asked, wrapping an arm around Seth's shoulders, leaning into the smaller male as he slipped his sneakers off. "Rome?"

"He doesn't remember anything from the last three years."

"What?" Jon questioned, flabbergasted. "What do you mean he doesn't remember?"

Roman nodded, turning to the others. "He can't remember it. The last thing he remembers is going to get coffee with Drew three summers ago. He doesn't even remember meeting me."

"So, you're moving his shit out?" Dean asked incredulously, earning a harsh look from both Seth and Trinity, Jon's brown eyes still focused on Roman. "What? It was a legit question."

Roman shook his head. "No, I didn't want to stress him out more than he already was so I told him we were just roommates. I need help packing up our pictures and moving Cody's stuff into the guest room after getting it set up. He's doing great other than that. The doc called it a miracle so I just want to make it all up if he comes home before he remembers," he explained, scuffing his toe along the carpet. "I can't do it alone, not with this arm."

Seth took in the still bandaged arm, pulling free from Dean and wrapping his arms around Roman's neck. "I'm sorry Rome, this has to be pretty fucking hard," he whispered, holding tight to the taller male.

"You have no idea," Roman returned, sighing as he pulled back. "So, you think you and Dean can move some furniture, Jon, we'll work on the room and Trin, will you take down mine and Cody's pictures? I won't be able to take them down. I'll dig out some others to put up later."

It took Roman and Jon an hour to rearrange the spare room to make it functional enough for them to set up the bed and move in a spare dresser Roman had stored away in the garage. It was a decent sized room with a view into the backyard and a semi spacious closet.

Seth and Dean were standing next to the large window, both watching as Roman struggled to make the bed with Jon. Both knew better than to try and help. Dean looked over at Seth, taking in the worried brown eyes. "Hey, wanna walk with me for a minute?" he asked gently looking over at Roman and Jon. "If you need us yell, we're gonna take a break."

Roman nodded, wiping the sweat from his brow. "Yeah, if you wanna be useful go down to the station and grab us some drinks. I'll pay you back when you get back," he called, smiling slightly as the two walked out, both agreeing. He shook his head, trying not to be bitter at how close they were. No amount of wishing or silly bitterness would help Cody remember anything.

Dean reached into his pocket, grabbing out his pack of smokes and a lighter. He opened the pack and put one of the white cylinders to his mouth. He flicked his lighter and lit his smoke, dropping the lighter in the half empty pack before shoving it back in his jeans pocket. He inhaled, looking over at Seth before exhaling the smoke. "Promise me something?" he asked suddenly, stopping on the sidewalk.

Seth stopped too, looking over into the averted blue eyes. "Yeah okay," he murmured, cocking his head to the side, wondering what had gotten into his best friend. "You okay?"

Dean shook his head, taking a deep drag of his cigarette and looking up into the chocolate eyes. "No, I'm not fucking okay," he bit out, flicking the ash nervously. "There's some things I want you to know and with everything going on with Rome and Cody, I don't want to waste anymore time sitting on my ass."

Seth was confused. It was normal for Dean to be arrogant, cocky, pushy even, but it wasn't normal for him to be so unsure, actually it was very strange, and unsettling. "Dean, what's wrong? What's going on in your head?" Seth asked hurriedly, his hand grabbing Dean's jaw so that they were looking each other in the eye. "Dean?"

Dean sighed, looking back towards the concrete, his arm coming up to push Seth's hand away. It was lightening quick that he flicked his lit cigarette away and dug both of his hands into the front of Seth's shirt, yanking him so they were chest to chest. He looked deep into the confused and shocked eyes before crashing his lips into Seth's.

Seth stood there, eyes wide. He felt a tingling in his lips take over as his entire body stood stone still. It wasn't until he felt Dean's lips turn up into a strange smile before he pulled back that he even felt his lungs take in a shaky breath.

"Yeah, I figured you felt that way," Dean muttered, letting Seth go and walking away down towards the gas station. "I just wanted to get it out there in case something ever happened."

Seth touched his lips with the tips of his fingers, still feeling the bone crushing pressure of Dean's lips there. "Wait!" he called, jogging to catch up, a freshly lit cigarette already between the pink lips. "You just surprised me." He looked down at the concrete, watching his feet as his hands burrowed into his pockets. "I didn't… I didn't know you felt that way."

"Yeah, well just take it for what it is, I didn't want something to happen before I got the guts to say anything," Dean growled, not daring to look over. He kept walking, missing the soft smile on Seth's lips.

* * *

Roman sighed, stepping out of the spare bedroom and looking down the long hall into the open living room and kitchen. He eased his way out into the living room, groaning at how many pictures were missing from the walls. He looked over to where Trinity was sitting on his couch, a photo album in her lap. "What're you doing?" he asked gently, walking over and sitting down next to her, looking over the photos inside.

Trinity looked up, tears in her eyes. "Just looking at some pictures," she answered, looking down at the photos again. "This one was taken at the shop last summer, you and Cody were so happy."

Roman nodded, taking in his and Cody's bright, smiling faces, both in a pair of swim trunks and tang tops, posing right in front of Jon and Josh's large electric blue and cadmium yellow lightening bolt surfboard in the front of their Surf Shop. He closed his eyes, remembering that day perfectly, they'd taken a day to themselves to roam the boardwalk. He sighed, opening his eyes and looking away. He stood, both Jon and Trinity watching him as he walked over to the sliding glass door, grey eyes looking out onto the grass.

Jon eased in next to his wife, gently shutting the photo album and setting it on the coffee table. "We can help you put up some other photos Rome," he started, feeling more than a little sorry for his cousin. He took Trinity's hand in his and gave it a squeeze, hoping she understood its meaning.

Roman nodded, throat constricted with the flood of memories. He turned, two arms wrapping around his neck instantly. He tried to relax into Trinity's embrace, his arms shaking as they wrapped around her slim waist.

"It's okay to cry Rome," she whispered, her own voice shaky with tears. "We're family and we wouldn't think any less of you." He smiled softly, Roman's arms tightening around her as he buried his face into her shoulder, the hot tears leaking into the thick strap of her long red, yellow, and blue sunburst sundress.

Jon watched, heart breaking. He stood, walking towards the front door, ready to cut Seth and Dean off so Roman could have a few moments to himself. He silently opened the door and stepped out, shutting it just as quietly. He shoved his hands into his hip pockets, his loose Hawaiian shirt rustling in the light breeze.

Jon looked up into the clear blue sky, telling himself that the weather was just mocking them and Roman's pain. "C'mon Cody, you gotta remember him," he muttered, a jet liner passing through his line of sight. "He's never loved someone as much as he loves you."

"Everyone else slacking too?" Dean teased, walking up the drive and stopping in front of Jon, a plastic bag full of cool drinks hanging off of his forearm, a slush in his other hand. He looked up into the somber face, his entire demeanor changing.

"Rome just needed some time alone," Jon clarified, moving to sit on the stone steps. "Trin's with him. We're gonna put up some new photo's later on, depending on if Roman can even go through them."

Seth nodded, both hands starting to tighten around his own foam cup of blue slush. "Hey Dean," he whispered, barely audible. "If you aren't busy tomorrow, we should take him out. I don't want him cooped up in the house or stuck at the hospital."

Dean agreed gently, him and Jon sharing a thoughtful look between them. "You got an idea Jon?" he asked, a slow smile spreading across the Samoan's lips. "I figured you did."

* * *

(A/N): Well, I FINALLY feel like we're going somewhere. I hate when stories start off slow but I don't want to leave out any important details either. Anyway, I feel horrible for making Roman go through so much pain. I just wanna hug his big self! But at least he's got good friends and family! Well, stay tuned for the next chapter! Thoughts? As always, onwards and upwards! Title is Picking Up Pieces by Blue October.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	4. Starting Over

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 3.**

* * *

_**Starting Over**_

Cody was helped back into his bed by Layla, her bright smile doing nothing to help his foul mood. "Twenty-three fucking years old and I can't even take a piss on my own," he mumbled under his breath as she walked away. He turned his head, blue eyes falling on Roman's slightly surprised face. His heart seized, eyes widening. "Sorry, I didn't know you came in." He felt his body grow a little hot, that gaze making him squirm.

Roman shook his head, turning his attention to the new view of a brick wall with black tinted windows. "They could've at least given you a room with a view," he finally said, turning back to see a light smile on Cody's lips. "I mean, you are in rehab, what's more depressing than a brick wall and offices?"

Cody chuckled, the sudden embarrassment of being helped to and from the toilet completely gone. "We get along good right?" he asked, adjusting his aching legs. "We live together so we don't fight or anything?"

Roman froze for a moment, telling himself not to think about just how well him and Cody had gotten along in their relationship. "Er, we have our days, but who doesn't," he answered, sighing gently. "So, they letting you have real food yet?"

Cody nodded, reaching to the side opposite of Roman where his tray was sitting, a large jug of ice water sitting there. He took a drink and put it back on the wheeled tray. "Yeah, they took that thing out of my nose early this morning. Took me half an hour to get it to stop bleeding."

Roman nodded, wishing he could've been there at least for support. "Dusty said they're gonna let you come home after your legs heal up enough. Are they working you hard in the therapy?"

Cody shook his head. "Not really, I'm just really tired afterwards and right now they have me using a walker to keep balanced. I'm not going to lie to you, I'm not walking with that thing when I get out of this fucking place. So if you tell Dad about it, I might smother you while you sleep," he threatened playfully, laughing when he saw Roman's face light up and a deep chuckle vibrated in his throat.

Roman smiled, scooting down the visitor's sofa, reaching out and taking Cody's hand in his. He felt Cody flinch to pull away. "I just wanted to say I was sorry for all this. I wasn't watching the road, if I had, you wouldn't have got hurt," he murmured, looking down at the paled skin. He took a chance and closed both of his hands tightly over Cody's, wanting nothing more than to kiss the warm flesh. "I'm so sorry Cody."

Cody felt his chest tighten around his heart, unable to shake the feeling that Roman held more feelings towards him than just a roommate. After a moment he tugged his hand free, smiling softly at Roman. "Accidents happen sometimes. Dad told me that they skipped the sign, not you. You can't prevent stupid," he answered, voice soft as it caressed Roman's skin. "Don't apologize."

Roman nodded, sighing as he leaned back, a knock coming at the door. He watched as it opened and a tall blond haired man stepped in, a playful smile on his lips. Roman couldn't help but smile, Jay looking strange out of his plain scrubs and in a pair of black jeans and white tang top, a deep blue button up with light blue palm trees covering him, a pair of sunglasses perched on top of his head. "Jay," he breathed, shaking his head. "What are you doing here?"

Jay shrugged, smiling at Roman and Cody. "Heard he was awake, so I came to check on you," he said, really taking a look at Cody. Past all of the well healing bruises he was really handsome, and those blue eyes were just soul piercing. "He's pretty handsome. You're a lucky guy Roman."

"Um, do I know you?" Cody asked, confused more with why he suddenly didn't like the way the new man was smiling at Roman than the words he'd spoke.

"I'm Jay Reso. I was actually Roman's nurse when he was upstairs. He was one of my favorite patients, he never shut up about you," he introduced, smiling bright and extending his hand for Cody to take.

Cody shook the offered hand, looking over at Roman. "You talked about me?"

Roman felt his heart rate increase, almost panicking as he looked up at Jay's confused face. "J-just how worried I was," Roman retorted, trying to play it off. "Um, will you talk to me in the hall real quick Jay?"

Jay nodded, taking a step back and looking at Cody before waving slightly. "Well, it was good finally meeting you. Get to feeling better soon, kay?" He smiled, turning and following Roman to the hall. "So, what did I miss?"

Roman sighed, closing the door. "He's got memory loss."

"Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't even ask before I just barged in on you guys," he apologized, reaching up and scratching the back of his head in nervousness. "If you don't mind me asking, how bad?"

"He doesn't remember anything from the last three years," Roman breathed, shaking his head, the pain still fresh. "In his mind, we haven't even met so I told him we were just roommates."

Jay nodded, a sad frown settling on his lips. "Roman, that's really noble of you to do for his sake, but what about your own feelings? This has to be hard on you," he queried, taking a chance and resting his hand on Roman's muscled arm, his fingers a stark contrast to the tribal ink. "You can't keep it a secret forever."

Roman nodded, knowing that Jay was right and only trying to help. "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it," he answered, looking into the light brown eyes. "Thanks for coming to check on us though. I never thought I would make friends with a nurse."

Jay smirked, pulling his hand back and resting both on his hips. "Well, you know, this nurse is single and always looking for some fun."

Roman wasn't sure if the implication was meant for him or if he had any available friends. "Erm, I don't think I'll be on the dating scene for a while, if ever," he murmured, looking into the dark eyes almost ashamed when he heard a deep laugh.

"No worries there, you're not my type, but if you have any friends interested, we can all meet up for drinks sometime. Here's my number," Jay said, walking over to the nurses station and grabbing a pen and a piece of paper. "But in all seriousness, I doubt you'll need it, but if you just want someone to talk to, I'm here for you."

Roman smiled, taking the paper and stuffing it into his back pocket. "Thanks Jay."

"No problem, well, I've caused enough commotion for today and this is my only day off for the next week and a half, so if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get some sun," Jay teased, extending his hand to shake Roman's. "Good luck."

"Thanks," Roman answered, shaking Jay's hand and watching the smaller male walk away. He shook his head, turning back to Cody's room and headed back in. "You decent?"

"Not like you probably haven't seen it before if I wasn't," Cody called back, a little stunned by his words. He shook his head, brows furrowing. He had always been playful but he'd never made jokes like that with someone unless they were super close. He looked up, a sudden smile landing on his lips as he looked into the bronzed face. "Where'd the other guy go?"

Roman shut the door and took a seat next to Cody. "Only day off, he went to get out of this place for a while." He took a big breath, letting it out slow.

"He likes you," Cody blurted, a little surprised at his apparent irritation. "You should ask him out." He felt his fists tighten in his lap, a sudden jealousy hitting him hard. "I mean, you're single right? Why else would you spend all your time up here with me?"

Roman shrugged, each word of encouragement stabbing him in his already wounded heart. "Naw," he murmured, waving it off. "He's not my type." He smiled, the look on Cody's face something he hadn't seen in a while. That look of hope and somewhat shock easily mirrored the moment that he'd asked Cody out. "I already have feelings for someone else anyway."

Cody cocked his head to the side, the softness that Roman's voice had taken on intriguing him. "Really? Do I know him?" he asked, smiling at the sudden smile on Roman's lips. "Better yet, does he know?"

Roman paused, unsure of how to answer. "No… he doesn't know," he answered slowly, looking down at his hands that were fiddling in his lap. "I don't really think I want him to know. It'll only be trouble."

"Is he married or something?"

Roman smiled sadly, thinking about when he'd met Cody, how he was still in an off and on relationship with Drew. "Something like that," he murmured, looking down at his tightly clasped hands. "He's uh… he doesn't even know I exist."

"That's not fair to yourself," Cody said, feeling like he'd heard those words somewhere else before. He closed his eyes, leaning back into the pillows. "Have you talked to Drew?"

Roman felt a sharp edge of ice start to sink into his heart. "Not today, he didn't come up yesterday?" he asked, forcing a smile on his lips. "He's been worried about you. I figured he would've been up here before me."

Cody shook his head, looking down at his splinted arm. Even though he couldn't remember Roman, he felt calm with him around. He bit back a smile, looking back up so he could really take in the other man. He looked over the handsome face, his fingers begging to run through the long hair that was currently tied back into a tight bun. He swallowed, those lips seemingly begging to be kissed. He looked back down at his splint, telling himself that it wasn't right to look at his roommate like that. They were roommates, nothing more and he already had someone else he loved, not to mention Roman had just told him about his own love interest. He only hoped that the other man's feelings hadn't died in the three years he couldn't remember.

"Twenty seven," Roman whispered a moment later, looking up into confused blue eyes. "You're twenty-seven." He saw a realization flash through Cody's eyes before he groaned in frustration.

"I missed out on some prime years!" he whimpered, sinking back into his pillows and sighing heavily. "Christ."

Roman chuckled, leaning back onto the plastic couch and taking in Cody's annoyed look. "Don't worry, we had fun," he said, pausing as piercing blue eyes landed on him. He looked away, thankful when he heard the door open. He looked up, stomach doing a flip.

"Drew!" Cody gasped, a huge, excited smile plastering itself on his lips. He looked over the other man, the dark blue eyes still as lovely and his tall body still hard.

"Hey Cody," Drew started, taking in the excitement in the small male, his eyes sliding over to where Roman was sitting, a dark look on his features. "Hey Roman. Sorry I didn't make it up yesterday. I had a serious case of jet lag and needed the sleep."

"It's okay, you're here now!" Cody nearly cried, motioning for Drew to come and sit next to him. "How's Scotland? Dad said you just came back."

"It's okay, still home," Drew answered, sitting down in the chair next to Cody's bed. He instantly had Cody's hand in his, those blue eyes focused solely on him. He looked down at the white sheets, wondering just how much it was hurting Roman to see his lover acting so excited about seeing an ex-lover. "You feeling okay?"

Cody nodded, still smiling. "Yeah, better now that you're here. I heard your voice while I was out," he admitted, cheeks starting to deepen in color. "Did your divorce go through?"

Roman stood, unable to listen to anymore. "I'm going," he said, looking back at the two sets of eyes on him. "I'll be up later, you want anything Cody?"

Cody shook his head, unsure of what had gotten into Roman. "Everything okay?" he asked, eyes falling on the tight fists. He felt something tug at his heart, telling him that it wasn't right that Roman leave.

"Everything's fine," Roman bit out, refusing to look into those blue eyes that he loved so much. "I just need some air." He took a step towards the door, looking over his shoulder when he heart Cody go to protest again. He waited only a moment before turning back towards the door and leaving, anger and frustration bubbling in his chest.

"Is he really okay?" Cody asked softly, suddenly feeling anxious. "Drew?" He looked over, dark eyes resting on their clasped hands. "Drew?"

"Cody, what exactly do you remember?" he asked, refusing to believe what Dusty had told him about Cody being unable to remember Roman or the last three years. "What's the last major thing that sticks out in your mind?"

Cody closed his eyes, trying hard to think of something, still the very last memory being of him and Drew walking into a Starbucks to get their usual coffee and chit-chat. That time, Drew had brought up that him and his wife were getting divorced. "The last thing I remember is us talking about you and Tayrn getting divorced. You and her finally had it out and she punched you," he started, opening his eyes and looking into Drew's. "I can't remember anything past that."

Drew sighed, his tongue pressing against his cheek, his teeth sinking into it. "Yeah, the divorce was finalized that next January. She moved back to New Orleans," he breathed, Cody's hand tightening around his. He inwardly sighed, telling himself that it wasn't right that he enjoy the attention that Cody was giving him again. He'd let the other man go back when Roman had gotten into the picture.

"Are you dating anyone?" Cody asked softly, telling his heart to stop beating so hard in his chest. It wasn't just nerves that were filling him. Some sort of regret and unease was also there, telling him not to ask questions like that.

Drew shook his head, thinking about Roman and how much it had to hurt him to lie to Cody and tell him that they were only roommates. "So, what do you think of Roman? He's an interesting guy, huh?" he brought up, the slightly confused face of the other man making him smile.

"He's okay, I guess, for a roommate," Cody answered, looking down at the sheets for a moment. "He's really… uh… attentive. I guess that's what you call it." He thought about how often he'd been with Roman, how at ease he felt with him there. "I just wish that I could remember him. I feel like I'm missing out on a lot. It's just something about him."

Drew nodded, his thumb stroking over Cody's tenderly. "Do you think he's good looking?" he asked, wondering if a little prodding would help Cody remember anything.

Cody shrugged, quickly pursing his lips before looking back into blue eyes. "He's okay. Why? Do you two have something going on or something?" he asked, his heart pounding in his chest. He was afraid of the answer.

Drew couldn't help but laugh out loud, covering his mouth with his other hand to keep from howling. "Oh, that's priceless. I wish he was here to hear that!" he chuckled, letting the humor settle in him. "Funny thing is, Roman and I actually don't get along much at all. He doesn't like me and I'm not a big fan of his either."

"Oh, that's um…"

"Unfortunate, but that's just how it is with us," Drew finished, sighing. "You used to beg us to get along all the time. The last few months it seemed like you just gave up though. It's been a losing battle for three years almost."

Cody thought about it, wondering why it would matter that much to him just for his roommate and Drew to get along, Were him and Roman that good of friends? Had they been that close before the accident? "What was he to me?" he asked softly, looking down at the sheets again, still unable to shake the feeling that him and Roman has been closer than mere roommates.

Drew bit his tongue, the bitter taste of copper blossoming in his mouth. He didn't want to lie to Cody, but he didn't want to break the false reality that Roman had created for Cody either. "You were really good friends, probably some of the best," he answered after a moment more of thinking. It wasn't a lie, though it wasn't the whole truth. "He's really protective, that's all."

"You make it sound like he was my lover or something," Cody chuckled, closing his eyes and smiling. "So, when I get to come home, we should go out for a weekly coffee, you can catch me up on everything that I'm missing."

Drew was happy that Cody didn't see the look of shock on his face, or feel the way his hands started to shake. "Yeah, we'll have to go out," he murmured back, looking towards the window, wondering how Roman was taking it so well to be forgotten and left behind like he'd been nothing in Cody's life.

* * *

Roman sat quietly at the local bar, the brown bottle of beer held loosely in his hand by the neck as he swirled the last few sips around in the bottom of the bottle, grey eyes focused on the bubbly liquid. He leaned back in the booth, slouching down so that only his ass was on the seat, his legs stretched out between Seth and Dean and under the booth across from him. He hadn't wanted to go out, but he hadn't had the choice when Trinity and Jon had came by and forced him into their car, telling him he 'needed to loosen up and relax'. He didn't need to relax, he needed time alone. That's what he really wanted, was to be alone.

"C'mon Rome, cheer up a bit," Seth eased, reaching across the table and taking Roman's hand in his. "He could wake up tomorrow and remember everything. Just keep on hoping and thinking about it like that, okay?"

Roman shrugged, tipping the bottle to his lips so he could take in the last little bit, making a face at the bitter lukewarm beer. "Fucking hate warm beer," he muttered, setting the bottle down gently and looking around the bar, the same crowd around that he was used to: college students. He didn't want to think about them, knowing that in a couple of months he would be right back at the University.

Trinity leaned over the back of the bar, resting her head on Roman's slouched shoulder. "There's someone at the bar looking for you," she whispered roughly, trying to keep the words between her and Roman but talk over the loud music that was pounding into them.

Roman looked over, eyes landing on a dark headed man with wavy hair. "Brad," he sighed with a smile, shaking his head. "He's not trying to find me Trin. He's attempting to find some cute college girl."

"Same diff," Trinity laughed, turning back so she could face her best friend across the table, the caramel skinned woman thin and sassy looking. "Ari, go get him," she said, pointing to the man there. "He's harmless. He's one of Roman's co-workers. He's a history professor I think."

The other woman raised an eyebrow, looking him over. She had to admit that he was good looking, shorter than her average type but still handsome. "Roman, please say he isn't gay," she near yelled, looking at the back of the dark head.

"No, straight as they come," Roman answered, slouching even further down in the seat. He didn't want to spend his evening talking to Brad either, even if he was probably one of his closest friends from the University. He looked over at the sympathetic brown eyes, Seth's smile falling into a deep frown.

"How is he Rome?" he finally asked, deciding it would be best if he bit the bullet and asked about Cody first.

Roman shook his head, crossing his arms across his chest. "I don't want to talk about it," he muttered, Seth sliding out of his side of the booth and slipping in next to him. He looked away towards the wall, jaw tight to keep from thinking about what he'd heard before he'd left the hospital.

Seth sighed, wrapping his arms around his best friend in a loose hug. "It's okay Rome," he breathed, pulling back a moment later to look into the watery grey eyes. "Talk to us."

"I told him I was just his fucking roommate," he bit out through clenched teeth, sitting straight up and looking down at the table. He shook his head again, heart aching. "And all he remembers is Drew. Shit, I'm fucking pathetic."

Seth looked across the table at Dean, who at that moment was unsure of what to say or even do. He reached down and took Roman's hand in his, smiling softly as he tilted his head down to capture Roman's hard stare. "Hey, just make him remember you. Make him fall in love with you all over again. It won't be hard considering how quick it was last time," he suggested, dark grey eyes narrowing.

"This isn't a movie Seth," Roman growled, looking away again. "This is real. I'm back at square one in his mind. He doesn't even know me and I'm stuck here confused and pissed off because I can't just stop loving him because he can't remember anything!" He slammed his fist down on the table, crossing them back over his chest. "I just want to go home."

"I'll take you home Rome," Dean suddenly said, scooting out, fumbling to get his legs over Roman's as he slid out of the bench seat. "C'mon. Seth, I'll come pick you up later, or if you can catch a ride with Jon and Trin." He reached over and finished off his half empty beer and slid it back on the table. He started towards the door, missing the look of confusion on the others' faces, or that Brad and Ariane were walking over to them.

Roman followed behind Dean without another word, getting into the passenger seat of Dean's Chevy truck and sighing, hands shaking in his lap. "Thank you," he breathed, looking over at Dean as he got in and started the truck. "I know you guys mean well, but I'm not in the mood."

Dean nodded, turning to look behind them as he backed up and pulled out of his parking spot before driving into traffic. "This was my idea, I didn't think about how you felt," he admitted, looking over at Roman's closed eyes. "We thought getting you out of the house would help some. Obviously, that wasn't the case."

Roman groaned in response.

Dean was silent for a moment, stopping behind a few other cars at a red light. He wanted nothing more than to talk to Roman about what had happened between him and Seth, knowing the other man would have some sort of advice or thoughts on his situation. "I kissed him," he blurted, closing his eyes, tongue pressed hard against the backs of his teeth as he winced. He hadn't meant for it to come out quite that blunt.

Roman's eyes slow slid open, looking from the red taillights ahead of them over to Dean's uneasy face. "What?" he asked, looking up at the freshly green light, the other cars slowly starting forward.

Dean's eyes popped open, embarrassment thick on his face as he followed behind the steady line of cars. "When we were at your place helping you move things around and we went to get drinks, yeah. I couldn't get you and Cody out of my head and I just did it right there on the sidewalk," he explained hurriedly, feeling more and more stupid with each word. He sighed, slamming the heel of his fist into the steering wheel. "I told him just to take it for what it was."

Roman slouched down in his seat a little, leaning heavily against the door, his arm propped up on the arm rest on the door, his cheek pressed against his fist. "And?" he asked, knowing there was more that was begging to be pulled out of Dean.

"And he hasn't fucking said anything about it since!" Dean snapped, looking over into the grey eyes, startled at his outburst. "He could at least tell me he wasn't interested. He's just acting like it never happened."

"You didn't really give him an opening to say much else Dean," Roman muttered, closing his eyes, letting the steady rock of the car soothe him. "You can't be passive-aggressive with Seth, you know that. Look where it's gotten him now, Phil's got him so confused most of the time, he has no idea what to think half the time when it comes to that kind of thing."

Dean muttered under his breath, turning off of the main road to a more residential neighborhood. "But he's known me longer than that prick," he growled, trying to rationalize Seth's avoidance of the subject. "We've only known each other since Jr. High."

Roman groaned, sitting straight up and looking right at Dean as they stopped at a stop sign. "And how old are you now Dean? You're twenty-seven years old, stop acting like we're still in high school," he snapped, more than a little irritated with Dean's lack of confidence. "I don't know who the fuck you are, but you are not the Dean Ambrose I'm friends with."

Dean smirked, shaking his head as he started down the road again, slowing down before stopping completely in front of Roman and Cody's house. "Yeah, well, he's the only one that does this to me, so excuse the bitchiness," he laughed, looking over to find a soft smile on Roman's lips. "Look, I didn't mean to just drop all this on you. I just needed someone to talk to about it. I know you got a lot going on with Cody and everything."

Roman shrugged, taking a deep breath. "It's cool. It's better dealing with you two then constantly reminding myself that I'm supposed to be Cody's roommate," he answered, looking into the worried blue eyes. "So, tell Seth that it's all me and Cody ever were."

Dean looked down into the black floorboard, feeling more than a little sorry for Roman. "That's not fair Rome, you know that. How're you supposed to just be his roommate when you've been together the last two and half years?" he asked, looking up into adverted eyes. "Roman."

"Because it's all I can do for him right now. When we met he was still stuck on Drew and right now, that's the only person he's got feelings for. I don't want to confuse him more than he already is," Roman explained, unclipping his seat belt and getting out of the navy blue truck. He turned to face Dean, a sad smile touching his lips. "It's better this way for right now. Thanks for bringing me home. I'll see you later." With that he shut the door and started up the driveway, telling himself to not let the emptiness of the house overwhelm him anymore than it already was.

* * *

(A/N): So many feels for Roman. I'm so mean to him, probably because I like seeing him in pain. So, well, we've learned a lot so far. And Cody only has eyes for a certain blue eyed Scottie. So, thoughts? Let me know loves! Onwards and Upwards! Title is Starting Over by Saliva.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	5. It Goes Like This

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 4.**

Note: What? Another update 24 hours later? Yes, just because I felt like throwing another one out there. And we will have our regular update on Sunday too! Enjoy loves! -JJ  


* * *

_**It Goes Like This**_

Roman was pacing outside Cody's room, telling himself to just push the door open and go in. He hadn't went up the day before, emotionally drained after the night before that. Right after he'd gotten home, he'd opened another bottle of liquor and drank the entire thing sitting in his living room, looking at his and Cody's photos. He passed out sometime around four that morning and spent the rest of the day recovering when he'd woken up.

"Just go in already," Layla encouraged roughly, knocking for Roman before opening the door and pushing him in. "He's been asking about you, so go!"

Roman bit his lower lip briefly; taking a deep breath and taking another step in, looking in to find Cody was fast asleep. He sighed, shutting the door before walking over to the chair beside Cody's bed. He sat down, his trembling hand reaching out to touch Cody's limp hand. It was only an inch away before he yanked it back, refusing to take the chance of waking Cody up.

He looked over Cody as he laid there with his back flat against the bed, his body turned only slightly to the side. "They're letting you come home in a few days," he started softly, resting his hand on the white blankets, refusing to give in and let it slide up to where Cody's hand was laying. "I'm sorry I didn't come up yesterday, I had too much on my mind." He didn't want to admit that he'd been too hung over to even make it off of the couch.

He looked over the healing face, Cody's scrapes slowly healing and his bruises lighter. Roman smiled softly, wondering how long it would take for Cody to be completely healed. He himself had healed up nicely, most of his bruises well faded, other than the one on his chest, and the road rash on his arm almost completely gone. "You look good today," he started again, breathing deeply, wondering what Cody and Drew had talked about after he'd left. He shook his head, refusing to let his mind wander that far. "I guess it's okay to say this since you're asleep, but I really miss you. I miss you a lot Codes. I miss us…." He let out a shaky breath, pulling his hand back and into his lap.

A few silent minutes passed, Cody's nose wiggling as his splinted hand came up to rub his face as he slowly woke up. He looked over to where Roman was sitting at his bedside, grey eyes focused on the outside. He blinked, wincing only slightly when he realized that his good hand was actually being lightly held in Roman's hand. He looked down at how much his skin stood out against the darker background. He felt his heart leap in his chest, wondering why the heat from Roman's hand felt so familiar.

Cody's eyes trailed up Roman's bare arm, past the long dark scabs, up to the sleeve of his loose fitting blue shirt. He swallowed hard, mouth dry, his body begging him to sit up and press a kiss right in the middle of the strong neck. It wasn't until he actually looked into the far off grey eyes, did Cody even think about how much Roman was there with him and how he'd been so anxious the day before without him that he'd been given a slight sedation. "I missed you," he whispered, surprised with himself at the words.

Roman jerked his hand back, wide startled eyes meeting Cody's. "I'm sorry," he murmured, heart pounding. He hadn't meant to let his thoughts take over like they had. He'd just wanted to feel Cody's hand in his again, feel the heat of the smaller male against him, even if it was just the smallest bit.

Cody smiled, ignoring the apology. "Where were you yesterday?" he asked softly, looking away from those crystalline orbs. He couldn't handle the emotion there. "I really wanted you here."

Roman felt his heart quake in his chest as it swelled. He crushed down the glimmer of hope that Cody would suddenly remember him, knowing that kind of thing like that only happened in bad chick flicks and romance novels. He looked down into his lap where his left hand was currently picking at his right thumb's cuticle. He didn't want to admit that he'd been upset enough to drink an entire fifth of Tequila alone and couldn't even open his eyes without nearly being sick.

"If you had a date, that's all you have to say," Cody teased, his heart giving a jolt of staggering pain. "It's gotta be better than being stuck sitting up here in a hospital room with your roommate." He gave a humorless chuckle, the pain only intensifying in his chest. He felt it radiate down to his hands, making them shake.

Roman turned his head, biting his lower lip between his teeth for only a moment, telling himself again that this was how things needed to be. He was only Cody's roommate, he had to remember that. "No, I just needed some time to myself after everything," he breathed, hoping it didn't give too much away about how he was feeling.

"Oh, I see," Cody murmured, his good hand moving to play with the splint's Velcro strips. "I get to come home in a few days."

Roman smiled, looking back up at Cody, his eyes falling on the nervous picking at the splint. "Don't play with it," he gently chastised, Cody's hand stopping instantly. "If you mess with it too much, it'll take longer to heal."

Cody nodded, wishing he could understand why his body seemed to follow every command of that voice without any hesitation or why it begged to be skin close to Roman's. "They said I can take it off in a couple weeks. And that I won't need the walker when I go home, but that I should take it easy," he explained softly, looking up at the beautiful face. "My legs are doing better but I'm still a little wobbly sometimes, so I might stumble a bit."

"I won't let you fall," Roman said suddenly, surprising himself and Cody. He looked away again, a strange bit of awkwardness settling over him. How was he supposed to keep up this charade if he kept letting his mouth move faster than his brain? "Around the house, that is." He hoped his quick recovery was enough to smooth over the real intentions of his words.

Cody was silent for a moment, suddenly wanting to know more about the man in front of him. "Can I ask you some things?" he asked gently, already irritated with himself that he was going to have to ask. "I can't remember you at all, so I feel like I'm meeting you for the first time and I don't know anything about you, even though you probably know just about everything about me."

Roman sighed softly, nodding. "Anything you want to know, I'll tell you," he answered, looking up into the averted blue eyes. He felt his hand start to leave his lap to reach out and touch Cody but with the slightest movement in his arm, he made it stay still. "Ask away."

"You said we met at Damien's book store, right? How did it happen?" he asked, looking up into softened grey eyes. "I mean, why where you there? Damien's store isn't exactly a hot spot for younger people."

Roman chuckled, thinking back on the day fondly. "Actually, he's changed the store up a lot in the last few years. He finally started carrying some of the more popular and up to date books so the store would get more business," he started, his smile starting to fade into a dull sort of frown. He took a deep breath and started the story of how him and Cody had met.

_Roman was walking down the isles of books, getting more and more frustrated that couldn't find the copy of a book he was looking for. "Well for fuck's sake," he muttered, shaking his head as he squatted down to look at the bottom row of books, still unable to find it._

"_You doing okay over here?"_

_Roman looked up, his irritation completely dissipating on the spot when he looked up into the friendly blue eyes, the clean shaven boyish face smiling down at him. He swallowed hard, wondering how someone so handsome could be locked up in a bookstore like a precious diamond in a museum. "I'm… um…" he started, swallowing down a sudden lump in his throat that he was sure his heart. He could feel it pounding right at the base of his neck, between his collarbones. "I'm just looking for a book."_

_Cody's smile only widened and became a little brighter. "Well, I hope so, you are in a bookstore," he teased, holding his hand out for Roman to stand. His smile fell slightly when he watched the bigger male stand, a sudden four to six inches of the bronzed man towering over him. "Well, I underestimated how tall you really were."_

_Roman couldn't help but chuckle a little, a certain smile landing on his lips. "Yeah, I get that sometimes," he answered, the light illuminating natural honey highlights in the short dark brown hair. "So, about this book?"_

"_Oh, yeah, what is it you're looking for?" Cody asked, brushing his hand against the thighs of his black slacks. "Before you tell me, if it's anything after the 19__th__ century, I can't guarantee that we have it. Damien's a bit strange about today's literature."_

_Roman nodded, thinking of how many young girls had to be devastated to find out that they didn't carry the new Twilight books or the middle aged women for the new bondage eccentric 50 Shades series. He chuckled, thinking about how many students he'd already caught reading them in the hallways, some with flushed faces, others nearly yanking their significant others out to the car for a quickie._

_Cody just looked up confused. "Something funny?" he asked, the smile on the tanned lips only widening._

"_Just thinking about the new fads right now," Roman answered, wondering if he should really let on. He decided he would entertain the idea. "I'm a professor at UWF. I'm always catching students reading the newest Twilight or 50 Shades books all the time either in my class or in the halls. I wondered why I didn't see many people in here."_

_Cody bit back a chuckle, walking down the rows with Roman, their conversation leading away from what Roman was actually there for. "So, a professor huh?" he asked, looking Roman up and down. He couldn't see it with the black and white shorts and black tang top, flip flops topping off the look. He let his eyes roam over the man, the aviator sunglasses perched up on top of his wavy raven colored hair, a small tuft of hair stuck back in a tail. He had to admit, this man was handsome._

"_Yeah, I teach philosophy," Roman answered, reaching the end of the long row and turning right, him and Cody starting down another row of books, all of which he was sure weren't meant for him. "You look about as old as some of my students."_

"_I'm hoping that's a compliment," Cody said, looking up into the grey eyes with a confident look. "I'm twenty-three, twenty-four next week. And you can't be as old as most professors. They're all old and wrinkly."_

_Roman couldn't help but let out a laugh, thinking of some of his previous professors in college and grad school. "It's my first year there and I'm only twenty-four. I doubled up my hours in college, and took full time courses in the summers. I'm sure my parents thought I lived in my dorm room. Or that I only left my room for classes and to 'forage for food' as my brother put it."_

_Cody chuckled, his hands clasping behind him as they continued their slow walk down the isle. "That's real dedication right there," he breathed, thinking just about how much time it would normally take for that kind of degree and certifications. "Didn't you have any fun?"_

_Roman shrugged, looking over. "I had my share. I did live in the dorms," he eased, stopping and really looking at the man in front of him. "My name's Roman."_

_Cody smiled. "Cody. Cody Rhodes. Nice to meet you," he greeted, holding out his hand and shaking Roman's briefly. "So, not that I'm complaining about the conversation, but you did come in here looking for a book."_

_Roman's eyes widened, an embarrassed smile touching his lips. "Yeah, about that," he started, his right arm coming up to rest against the back of his hot neck. "I'm looking for Paradise Lost by John Milton and Utopia by Thomas More."_

_Cody smiled again, thinking that those were some pretty heavy books. "I thought you taught philosophy?" he asked playfully, stopping and steering them across the small book store to the other side in the back corner away from the large paned window in the front. "Those are something a literature teacher would look for."_

"_You obviously haven't read Utopia then," Roman retorted gently, stopping with Cody and scanning the spines. He could barely focus on them as Cody squatted down to the bottom shelf, reaching out and taking out a thick, leather bound book._

"_No, Literature wasn't exactly my favorite subject in college. Actually, I wasn't a fan of it at all. I got my associates in sociology and stopped going when I started here. Books are quieter than people," Cody explained, handing up the book before standing and walking away. "The other one's probably over here. Damien, would really be better for finding these. This is his forte."_

_Roman followed, the look of slight irritation and frustration etched on the lovely face. "I see," he murmured, stopping suddenly just before he crashed right into the back of Cody, the other man stopping right in the middle of the isle and dropping down again to the bottom shelf._

"_Ah-ha, here it is. Utopia by Thomas More," he said, reaching out and grabbing the slightly thinner book and pulling it out. It was a black leather bound book as well, the letters in gold leaf on the front and spine. "Anything else?"_

_Roman shook his head, smiling down at the two books. "Yeah, what time do you take lunch?" he asked, the slightly surprised look only making him smile a little brighter._

"_Around noonish. Are you asking me on a date?" Cody teased back, heart pounding. He'd been hit on at work before, but mostly by older men. It was a treat to have someone like Roman show any interest in him._

"_Just coffee and a friendly lunch," Roman answered, his smile only further teasing Cody. "My treat since you're the only person I've talked to that's known about these books without being a teacher."_

_Cody only chuckled, leading them up to the counter._

Cody smiled softly, thinking of how Roman made it sound like they had hit it off really well in the shop. "Did we really go out for lunch that day?" he asked a moment later, those darkened grey eyes looking towards the windows again.

"Yeah, we went to some little café around the corner. You were late getting back and Damien wasn't too happy," Roman said, chuckling sadly. "I think Kofi was off on vacation that week or something."

Cody perked up, remembering that Kofi had said he was going on vacation a week before Cody's birthday so he could go back to Ghana to see some family. He bit his lower lip a moment later, knowing that it wouldn't amount to much, especially since that was back in March and his birthday was the last day of June. "I don't know if you'll have the answer for this, but was I dating someone before the accident?"

Roman visibly tightened up, his entire body wanting to call out that yes Cody had someone, and he was sitting right there pretending to be nothing more than a friend. "Not that I know of," he lied, the words bitter on his tongue.

Cody couldn't help but give a sigh of relief. "Good, because he would be a pretty shitty boyfriend if I did. The only person I see most of the time besides my parents and Dustin is you," he thought out loud, pretending not to notice the tightening of Roman's jaw.

"If you don't want me to come up, I won't."

Cody was shocked, an anxious bubbling coursing through him. "No!" he yelped, earning sharp eyes on him. "I mean, no, I like your company. I really do." He looked down at his splinted hand, wondering why it was so easy to blurt out what he wanted with Roman. "I don't really like being alone."

Roman smiled softly, taking the chance and reaching up and touching Cody's good hand as it started to fiddling with the straps again. "I'll be here as long as you need me," he whispered, fingertips barely brushing over the back of Cody's hand.

Cody felt his heart jump at the butterfly light touch. "It's okay," he breathed, his hand moving to capture Roman's fingers between his. He didn't know why he wanted Roman's hand on his again, or even why it just felt right. He just needed to feel them somehow connected. "I don't mind."

Roman nodded, looking down at his hand Cody's laced fingers, his hand protectively covering Cody's. He thought about how hard things would be when they got home. There was no guarantee that this would still be okay or that he would even be able to stop himself from wanting to hug or kiss Cody when they were alone.

"Drew said he'd be up today too," Cody went on, smiling at the Scot's name. He liked how that name made him feel, especially knowing now that he was single and so was Drew. "We're going out for coffee when I get to come home. He's gonna catch me up on some stuff."

Roman felt that sharp needle of ice drive further into his heart, splitting it even wider. "Yeah," he forced out, throat tight around the sudden hate and adoration. "You love him?" His heart pounded, full of dread for the answer.

Cody's smile fell a little, the question sending unknown feelings through him. "Love is kinda strong, but I really have strong feelings for him," he admitted, feeling somewhat guilty. "Do you know about Drew and I?"

Roman shrugged. He knew more than he wanted, but he'd never gotten the entire story. "It's none of my business," he finally muttered, pulling his hand back, the sudden taste of jealousy filling him.

Cody could hear the hint of jealousy in Roman's voice. "He was my lover for a while when we were nineteen. It wasn't anything serious to him and when he met Taryn he stopped seeing me. They were together almost a year when Drew got really serious about her. He'd barely even talk to me. One day he just showed up at my house, terrified. She was pregnant," he explained, feeling like Roman had never heard the story before.

"He was confused and scared and had no idea what to do. We were only twenty and he wasn't ready to be a dad. He had a few drinks over at my brother's with me and told me that he was sorry for how he'd acted, that he'd only got with her because he didn't want us to be serious."

"I don't want to know anymore," Roman bit out, shaking to keep from imagining Cody and Drew together.

Cody pushed on, something telling him that Roman needed to know. "Nothing happened, even as much as I wanted it to. A week later they were married. He called me a month or so later, asking for us to meet up. When I met him he looked like shit. He hadn't shaved, and his eyes were red. Taryn lost the baby. She was devastated and so was he. He'd just gotten used to the idea of being a father and it was all ripped from him." He paused, Roman's eyes closed tight.

"We spent the night at Dustin's place. Things went downhill for them after that. She blamed him for their loss and drove him back to me. I guess I should thank her one day. It was real after that. He spent actual time with me, even though he was still trying to work things out with her. It went on like that for two years. He didn't like the idea of divorce but one day she caught him coming home from seeing me and they got into it and she punched him before demanding they got divorced. He'd told me about it at the end of May, right before Memorial Day."

"I said I don't want to hear it," Roman snapped, his hands shaking as they clutched his knees. He didn't want to hear Cody talking about someone else like that. He didn't want to hear that kind of adoration and love directed towards someone else. He felt the burn of tears behind his eyes as he looked into the shocked blue eyes. "I don't want to hear about you and him."

Cody nodded, looking away. "He told me you and him don't get along much. Why's that?" he asked, hoping to take their conversation to a better direction. "What happened between you?"

Roman closed his eyes, clenching his teeth. He couldn't answer Cody, not without giving away just how he felt. "We had feelings for the same person and he tried to steal him away from me," he answered, hoping the obscurity was enough to keep Cody from catching on that Roman was talking about him. He stood up, walking away from the bed and Cody. "In the end, it didn't matter how I felt. He left me for him."

Cody wanted to stop Roman as he walked towards the door, stopping only when the door opened and Roman backed away, a dark, piercing look in the dark grey eyes. He bit his lower lip, Drew standing there in the doorway, a peaceful smile on those lips.

Roman looked back at Cody, shaking his head before storming out, the door coming to a soft slam behind him, leaving Cody and Drew alone. He hated feeling jealousy bubbling inside of him, but it was hard to ignore when Cody sounded so happy and at ease talking about the Scot. "Fucking stupid Roman," he muttered, slamming his fist into the down button once he'd found the elevator.

Cody sat there in disbelief, his blue eyes starting to water as he looked down at his hands, somehow feeling like he'd lost a part of himself when Roman left the room. He could feel the first hot tear slid down his cheek to plummet into the blanket where it was quickly absorbed, leaving only a tiny wet spot.

Drew sighed, walking over and sitting on the edge of Cody's bed, pulling him into a hug. He closed his eyes, wishing it didn't feel so good to hold Cody again. He felt more tears wet his shirt, as Cody's good hand clutched the back of his shirt, pulling them even closer together. "Don't cry," he breathed easily, pulling back and looking into the darkened eyes, smiling softly before brushing back the tear tracks. "There, much better."

Cody sighed, leaning back in, resting his cheek against Drew's shoulder, his face tucked closely into the broad chest. "You really hurt him in the past," he started, pulling back and looking into the confused face. "That's why he doesn't like you."

Drew sighed, wondering what it was that Roman had told Cody. "I know. I've always known why he hates me," he admitted, looking down at Cody's splint, pushing out a sigh. "I did some horrible things to him in the past. I don't blame him for never forgiving me."

Cody could hear the twinge of regret in Drew's voice. He away completely, wishing he knew who had hurt Roman. How could anyone want to hurt someone so caring? "Why would you do that to someone? Wasn't I enough?" he asked, tears starting to flow again, this time slow. "Did you just get tired of me again?"

Drew felt pain in his chest, hating this web of lies that Roman had twisted around them. "I could never get tired of you Cody," he breathed, wrapping his arms around Cody again, fresh tears clinging to his shirt. He hated lying to Cody, and he hated having to think up new lies to cover the old ones. "You found someone better, that's all."

"Why would you hurt him like that though Drew? Why would you take someone's lover like that?"

Drew was shocked, wondering just what Roman had told Cody. In the end, Cody hadn't chosen him, he'd stayed with Roman. He thought about it a moment, realizing that Cody couldn't have feelings for Roman anymore since he couldn't remember them. It hit him what Roman had meant. "I was jealous of how happy they were, that's all."

Cody pulled back, his fingers clutching the front of Drew's shirt as he leaned in, closing his eyes, and pressing a soft, fragile kiss to the Scot's lips. He felt his heart jump, his arms wrapping around Drew's neck as his kiss chaste kiss was returned.

Drew was in shock, his blue eyes wide before he allowed himself to hold Cody close to him and take the kiss he was offered. He knew deep down it was wrong to give in but he couldn't stop himself.

"Forget about him. Be mine again Drew," Cody murmured, pulling back just enough so that his lips barely brushed against Drew's. "I want you for myself." He looked up into the dark blue eyes, heart pounding in his chest.

Drew sighed, untangling himself from Cody's arms. "That's something we should talk about after you get out of the hospital okay?" he asked, a small nod answering him. He looked towards the windows, closing his eyes and wondering just what Roman was doing. He was dreading it, but he needed to talk to the other man, before the lies got too far out of hand.

* * *

(A/N): So, some back story on how Roman and Cody met and some back story on Drew and Cody, now we know a little bit of why Roman doesn't like Drew. Anyway, thoughts? I'm all ears! And I've read both of those books and, for the most part, they are absolutely phenomenal! I loved them both very much! Onwards and Upwards. Title is It Goes Like This by Thomas Rhett.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	6. Wash Away The Years

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 5.  
**

**Note: So, I never realized how heated people were going to be over last chapter. Let's see how this one goes. XD Enjoy loves! See you Friday. -JJ**

* * *

_**Wash Away The Years**_

Drew stood awkwardly at Cody and Roman's door, wondering how he was going to bring up what he wanted to talk to Roman about. He'd never actually talked one on one with the other man except on the phone and he could count how often that had happened on one hand. He sucked in a shaky breath, raising his hand and rapping his knuckles against the wooden door. He waited, the sound of hurried footsteps rushing to the door.

Roman opened the door, his hair sticking out every which way from the messy tail, a disgruntled look of complete irritation looking into the cool and collected face of the Scot standing in his doorway. "What do you want?" he asked, voice deep and raspy like he'd just woken up. "I don't really have time to deal with you."

Drew frowned, shaking his head. "Way to be classy Roman," he growled, his dark blue eyes meeting hostile grey ones. "I need to talk to you, so either we can do it in the doorway or you can let me come in." He watched Roman cover his face with one hand as he walked away from the door, leaving it open for him. He stepped into the cool house, the humid air outside making him slightly sweat. He slipped his shoes off at the door, taking in the look of the house. He was standing in the open living room, the dining area ahead, the carpet changing to hardwood that ran into the laminate of the kitchen to the right that was separated from the rest of the dining area by a long row of cabinets. He noticed quiet a few of the pictures that had once been up were either gone or replaced.

"I have to get a shower, so make it quick," Roman muttered, leading them into the kitchen, grabbing the waistband of his gym shorts and yanking them up, only for them to fall down on his hips again. He was shirtless and the bruise from the seatbelt was still dark against his chest. He reached into the fridge pulling out a bottle of water. "Thirsty?"

Drew shook his head, his own hair pulled back neatly into a low tail. "No thanks. Listen Roman, we have to talk about what you're telling Cody," he started, resting his hands on the smooth counter that separated the kitchen and dining area, leaning forward and looking at the darker male. "I have no idea what to say half the time because I don't know what you're telling him. Yesterday, he was upset when you left." He took a deep breath, letting it loose a moment after holding it in. "Roman, you made him cry."

Roman looked down at the ornate floor, closing his eyes. "Fuck," he groaned, walking across to the sink, which sat just a few feet away from where Drew was standing on the adjacent wall. He leaned against it, his hands moving to resting back against the counter top. "I didn't mean to upset him anymore than I already have." He looked up, dark blue eyes on him. "What did he say?"

"Well, you made me out to be a bigger dick that I already am. You can't tell Cody that I stole him away from you without thinking of the consequences. Fuck Roman, don't you realize where we were when I told him I was getting divorced?" Drew asked, voice steadily rising in annoyance.

Roman growled, slamming his fist into the cabinet beside him. "Now I do," he snapped, turning to face Drew. "I didn't know your history until yesterday. Okay, I didn't know how fucking wrapped up he was in you. Excuse the fuck out of me for getting jealous."

Drew sighed, running a hand over his clean-shaven face. "You can't keep lying to him like you are. What's gonna happen when he finds out?" he asked softer, thinking of those lips on his and just how tender it had been. "Things have to change."

Roman was silent, he knew Drew was right but he couldn't bring himself to tell Cody that he'd had a lover that he couldn't even remember meeting. He shook his head, reaching for the water bottle he'd placed on the counter next to him. "I can't."

Drew was growing more and frustrated. He slammed the heel of his fist into the counter, grabbing Roman's attention. "Stop acting like this!" he yelled, anger igniting in him. "Stop jerking him around with the lies. I can't keep them up okay? I can't keep lying to him like this."

Roman looked away, a silent heat running through his veins, slowly setting his entire body on fire.

Drew pushed out a frustrated growl, looking down at the counter, unable to look into those grey eyes. "He kissed me yesterday Roman," he breathed, wincing when he saw the hurt creep into those grey eyes before they landed heatedly on him. "Unless you want him to really fall for me again, you have to stop the lies now."

"It's too late for that," Roman muttered, heart aching in his chest. "I'm not going to force him to try and remember me. Don't you realize I'm doing this for him? It's stressful enough not being able to remember I'm not adding to that by telling him that we were together. He doesn't even know who I am."

Drew sighed again, tired of Roman's stubbornness. "Fine," he bit out, standing and walking towards the door. He yanked on his shoes, turning to find Roman standing ten feet away, grey eyes on him, arms crossed over the broad chest. "Then you should know he wants to get back with me. With the web of lies you've spun, it's hard for me to turn him down."

"Get out," Roman growled, hands clutching the opposite arm, his fingers digging painfully into him.

Drew stood up straight, resting his hand on the doorknob. "I'm just telling you how it is. I'm not going to lie to him about how I feel or what I think."

"Just fucking get out!" Roman yelled, eyes ablaze. He felt his entire form shake, wanting nothing more than to spear Drew into the ground and pummel the living hell out of his face. He heard the door slam as Drew left, leaving him alone in the silence of the house around him. He sighed, walking over to where he'd been sleeping on the couch and sat down, covering his face with his hands, telling his mind not to imagine Cody with Drew again. He felt a deep, primal yell tear through his throat as the hot tears started to burn his eyes.

* * *

Cody sat alone in his room, fiddling with the straps of the new brace on his right hand. It was meant to make things easier on him when he went home and his bones were healing rather quickly. He thought about Roman and how two days had passed without him coming up to see him. He sighed, looking down at his blankets feeling even more alone. He'd seen Drew a time or two, but only for a short amount of time. He hadn't brought up the kiss and neither had Drew. He sighed, leaning back against the pillows of his bed and looking out the window at the brick wall and tinted windows. "Yeah, it's kinda depressing," he muttered, closing his eyes.

He started to hum a song, the rhythm slow and easy going. He didn't have anything to do and he didn't want to watch television, he'd done enough of that in the last two days. He easily projected Drew's face onto the backs of his eyelids, a smile bright on the soft lips. He felt his heart turn with guilt. He opened his eyes, unsure of why he felt so guilty in thinking about Drew.

He changed the direction of his thoughts, wondering why Roman hadn't been up to see him. He groaned, sitting up and throwing his legs over the edge of the bed, taking a moment to brace himself with the bed railing before standing on shaky legs. He looked down at his hospital sock clad feet, his loose fitting lounge pants sticking to his legs. He smiled, taking a few steps towards the chair on the other side of the room, wanting a different view. He took another step, wishing he could just ignore the stiffness and slight pain he felt in his knees.

A light knock at the door made Cody look up, grabbing the edge of the chair and sitting down. "Come in," he called, sighing as he sat down, legs throbbing. He smiled, thinking they were probably still a little tired from his morning round of therapy. His eyes widened in happiness when he saw who was walking in. "Roman!"

Roman looked up, more than a little surprised to hear Cody sound so happy to see him. He smiled slightly, turning and shutting the door. When he turned back, Cody was wobbling over to him. He hurried to Cody's side, his strong arms wrapping around Cody just as he started to stumble.

Cody clung to Roman, his legs giving out. He looked up into the worried grey eyes, the warm arms circling him to help him back into the chair. He stopped them, wrapping his arms tighter around Roman's neck, pulling their bodies together. He closed his eyes, feeling safe and complete in those arms. "I missed you," he breathed, Roman's arms tightening around him in a tight hug. "I'm sorry about the other day. I didn't mean to make you mad or anything."

Roman closed his eyes, holding just a little tighter to Cody, his body taking in every bit of warmth that it could. He breathed in Cody's scent, slowly leading them back to the chair and setting Cody in it, pulling free from the tight hug. He smiled again, walking over and grabbing the folding chair that was next to the bedside to sit next to Cody. "It wasn't your fault," he answered, looking over Cody's brighter face. He wondered when that smile would be meant just for him again.

"I get to come home tomorrow," he stated happily, looking over at Roman, reaching out and touching the bigger hand. "I'm ready to be out of this place." He stopped, a smile slowly spreading across the tanned lips. "The doctors want me to come back once a week though for a couple weeks for therapy though. I hate asking you, but do you think you could drive me? My legs are really tired when I get done."

Roman nodded, watching at how easily Cody's hand curled into his, their fingers lacing perfectly. "That's no problem," he answered gently, heart pounding. He pulled back his hand, thinking about what Drew had said. He knew he couldn't keep up the lies forever, but he just wasn't ready to put Cody through all that.

"Are you sure we're okay?" Cody asked a moment later, the silence deafening in the room. "You aren't really talking, and you've barely looked at me." He looked over, grey eyes meeting his finally. "I'm really sorry if I brought up bad memories. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Roman shook his head, looking down at the floor, one sneaker scuffing along the floor. "Don't apologize, it's nothing you should really worry about," he explained, clasping his hands in his lap and leaning back in the chair. "So, what's the first thing you want to do when you get home?"

Cody thought, a slow smile spreading across his lips. "I think I want real food, because I'm tired of hospital cardboard," he chuckled, watching as Roman's lips turned upwards. "You cook right?"

Roman chuckled nodding, pushing back the thoughts that Cody had always enjoyed his cooking. "Yeah, I cook. When we moved in together, you could barely boil water, so yeah, I guess I'll be making meals again," he explained, earning a playful shove. "I'm just telling you how it is."

"Uh-huh," Cody retorted, giving Roman a fake irritated look. "I'm sure I was a fantastic cook. I make a pretty damn good grilled cheese if I do say so myself!" He poked out his chest with pride, laughing when he caught Roman's smile brightening. "Yeah, see, there's a smile. Oh, wait, nope, I see it, no hiding it now."

Roman only chuckled, looking up into the bright blue eyes, wishing he could lean in and just kiss Cody softly. He knew the smaller male had no idea just how much he craved to hold him in his arms again. "What time are they letting you go?" he asked, smile slowly fading.

Cody shrugged, unsure. "Sometime in the morning. Are you going to be here to take me home?" he returned, hoping that Roman would be the one to take him home, then they could talk and relax and he could reacquaint himself with their place and his things.

"Yeah, I'll pick you up," Roman answered, looking up just as the door started to open, Ted slipping in. "Hey Ted, you haven't been around in a while."

"Busy with a deal with this new firm," Ted answered, walking up and hugging Cody tight to him. "I'm so glad you're doing better." He pulled back, kneeling in front of Cody. "You dad's kept me posted on everything and Roman here's been taking good care of you I see."

Cody nodded, smiling into his best friends face. "You never change Teddy," he breathed, ruffling the blond hair. "I see you finally gave in and joined your dad's business."

Ted nodded, already knowing about Cody's memory loss through his father and Dusty talking. "Yeah, been there for a little over a year now. You'll have to see my office again, you really liked the view it had," he suggested, standing up and perching himself on the visitor's sofa. "So, no more tubes and wires, that mean you get to come home soon?"

Cody nodded frantically. "Tomorrow!"

Roman smiled, even though it wasn't much, it felt like it had been before the accident just listening to Ted and Cody talk back and forth about silly little things, most of which that held no importance. He closed his eyes for a moment, telling himself not to get wrapped up in the past knowing that as soon as Ted left, he would once again be shoved into the present. He chatted with them idly for the better part of an hour, Ted finally saying he had to get back to work before his dad caught him coming back late from his lunch.

Roman watched as Ted hugged Cody again before giving him an equally tight one before leaving, almost rushing out when his cell phone started to ring. He laughed, the door shutting behind Ted. "He'll never change," he breathed, looking over into the far off eyes. "Cody?"

"Everyone's got some serious lives now," he answered, looking down into his lap. "You're a professor, Ted's a business man, Dame's still got the shop. I feel like I've just been living a simple, easy going life compared to that. I'm still at the bookstore, I'm guessing, and single. What kind of life was I living?" He paused, thinking about how he'd thought his life would be like. "I thought I would've been happy with someone by now."

Roman closed his eyes, heart breaking. "You were happy Cody," he breathed, opening his eyes to look at the floor. He'd been happy too, but he couldn't let the past overwhelm him. As hard as it was, it was better that Cody didn't know about them and that meant Roman would have to put his feelings aside and stop thinking about their lives together if he was going to ever make everything work.

"Was I really?" Cody asked, a deep contemplative look etching into his features as he looked up into the handsome face. He sighed, wanting to think of something else. "Can I ask something?"

Roman only raised a brow at the question. "Didn't I tell you before you can ask me anything?" he returned, smiling ever so slightly. He didn't want to think where those words had taken them before, not when it had only brought him more pain than he wanted to handle.

"Where were you the last two days? It's kinda lonely without you here," he admitted, his fingers fidgeting in his lap. "I mean, I know you've probably got better things to do and all…."

"Not really," Roman answered quickly, not wanting Cody to let his mind wander too far with where he'd been and what he'd been doing. "I just needed some time to think. I wanted to see you, but I needed to be alone." He looked up, Cody's eyes focused on his brace. "Don't worry, you'll get tired of seeing my face when you get home. I don't have any classes this summer so until August it's just me and you." He let out a troubled chuckle, wondering if he was going to be able to handle just that.

Cody nodded, still feeling like somehow it was his fault that Roman had kept away. "What were you thinking about?" he asked, heart pounding. He knew he was pushing into Roman's personal life, but he couldn't help but want to know. He only hoped that it didn't cause the other man to leave him again.

Roman sighed, wanting to let Cody in. He'd never hid anything from Cody before, he couldn't, not with how easily Cody seemed to pull it out of him. "My life," he breathed, looking down at the floor, leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees, his hands clasped in front of him. "Just some soul searching I guess."

"Sounds deep," Cody replied a few moments later. "Does it have anything to do with him?" He looked over confused grey eyes resting on him. "With that guy you have feelings for? The one that doesn't know you exist?"

Roman felt his heart nearly slam out of his chest. He knew Cody had always been attentive to him and his words but just hearing Cody talk about himself without knowing it was just painful. He sighed again, jaw tightening. "Yeah, something like that," he muttered, his palms rubbing together gently. "I think I'm just gonna give up on that."

"Don't say that!" Cody chastised, narrowing his eyes. "Don't be a downer Roman. You just need to make yourself known. He obviously means a lot to you, so don't just throw those kinds of feelings away. He could be the one." He didn't know why his heart hurt so much to say those words. He felt his own staggering heartbeat pounding in his chest, making it hurt with bitterness.

Roman closed his eyes, standing from his chair and walking away. He bit his lower lip, opening his eyes as he leaned against the far wall. How was he supposed to keep up his act if Cody kept trying to encourage him like that? "You don't understand," he bit out, looking into the piercing blue eyes. "It's not that simple. Even if I did say something, he's got his sights set on someone else. As long as he's happy, I can deal with being alone."

Cody sighed in frustration. "You're really fucking stubborn," he growled, refusing to let his eyes leave Roman's. "You never know that until you make a move."

Roman shrugged, letting himself look away. "You tell me that a lot," he murmured, smiling softly. "The stubborn part." He couldn't help but think about all the times that him and Cody had disagreed on something, both too hard headed to give in.

Cody took a breath, ready to make a retort when there was a light knock on the door. "Come in," he called, keeping his eyes focused on Roman as the door opened. He shook his head, smiling softly when he saw that his newest visitor was Drew. "Hey."

Drew smiled, stepping in a little further, his eyes landing on Roman's broad body. "Hey yourself," he greeted, turning his attention back to Cody. "Did you tell him the good news?" He walked across the room and took Roman's vacated chair, leaning over and pulling Cody into a one arm hug. He ignored the dark look Roman sent him.

"Yeah, he's gonna pick me up in the morning," Cody answered, leaning in closer to the warmth of Drew's body, refusing to let Drew take his arms back from around his shoulders. "And you promised me coffee." He was only teasing Drew but he could feel a stiffness in the other man that hadn't been there before. "Everything okay?"

Drew nodded, dark blue eyes moving from Cody to Roman. He could feel the anger and hate radiating off of the Samoan. "Did Seth and Dean get a hold of you?" he asked, grey eyes meeting his. "They wanted to talk to you."

Roman shook his head, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his cell phone, a large crack running down the screen from the accident. He sighed, seeing the missed calls before realizing that he'd put his phone on silent the day before so he could be completely alone. He opened his texts finding that Seth had sent him at least four or five just telling him to call. There was only one from Dean, saying the same thing. "What did they want?"

Drew shook his head, shrugging slightly. "No idea. I saw Seth on my run this morning, he told me to tell you to call him when you got time. He seemed impatient." He explained, waving his free hand around with his words, the other wrapped protectively around Cody's shoulder. He looked down into the bright blue eyes, smiling. "So, where did you want to get coffee?"

Cody thought for a moment, stopping when he saw Roman start towards the door. "Where are you going?" he asked, a hint of panic laced in his voice. "You aren't leaving me again, are you?"

Roman was a little surprised at the outburst. He looked down at the floor, nodding. "You probably want time alone," he muttered, turning his back to Cody and Drew, his hand tightening around his phone in front of him. "I'll be back up tomorrow to pick you up."

Cody's throat constricted around any words he had built up, leaving him only able to watch Roman leave. His heart hurt in his chest and he wondered why he felt so wounded simply by Roman walking way from him. He sighed, wincing as he raised one leg up into the chair with him, wrapping his arms around it, resting his cheek against his knee. "I feel like something's wrong between us now," he whimpered, looking at the door with a narrow gaze. "I don't know what I did to make him so mad."

Drew inwardly sighed, pulling Cody closer to him, resting his smooth cheek against the side of Cody's head, his nose nestled in the soft hair. He closed his eyes, pressing a kiss to Cody's forehead, pulling back. "He's just trying to figure some things out right now, that's all," he explained, knowing it wasn't far from the truth. "He doesn't want to drag you down with him."

Cody sighed again, finding that it was hard to believe Drew. "If you say so," he breathed, shaking his head, and closing his eyes, thinking of how bright Roman's demeanor had been when he'd woken up. He'd enjoyed the light, gentle touch of Roman's hand on his, the way that voice instantly calmed him. Had Roman always had that effect on him? Had he always been so caring? If he had been, why hadn't Cody noticed it before? Why would he be living with someone so near perfect and have no romantic feelings towards him? Was it something he didn't know yet that drove them to just be friends? Was it that he wasn't Roman's type?

His eyes snapped open, wondering why he was thinking about Roman like that. They were roommates: that was it. He didn't need to question that. It was obvious that there wasn't anything between them and it was probably for a reason.

* * *

Roman trudged down to his car, shaking his head. He felt stupid, no matter how many times him and Cody were together, it wasn't going to change anything. It wasn't going to instantly bring back all of Cody's memories, all of their happy times together. He growled, swinging a fist right into a steel support beam of the parking garage, the instant pain shooting through his arm. He yelped, pulling his hand back just to see the freshly busted up knuckles had left four little bloody dots.

He rubbed his knuckles lightly with the palm of his other hand, sure that it would hurt more when the fast pumping adrenaline had slowed. He kept walking, stopping only once he'd reached his car. He didn't get in. Instead, he walked over to the concrete wall and leaned forward onto it, looking over the ledge at the grassy garden below, people walking fast along the pathways.

Laughing, crying, heated words all floated right into his ears, giving Roman just a mere taste of their lives as they passed, their voices either drowned out by the noise of traffic or someone else passing by. A gentle breeze blew through the structure, the warm wind cooling in the shade of the garage before it floated through Roman's hair, lifting it up and pulling it around his face.

Roman ran a hand through it, pulling it free from the low tail, letting the moister laden air whip it around. He sighed, looking up into the patchy sky, the clouds rolling in. He gave a soft smile, at least the weather was attempting to give him some reprieve and show him a little sympathy. The hair band rolled down to his wrist, resting right beneath the start of his arm long tribal tattoo. His eyes trailed down the buildings to the streets, cars zooming past, only stopping when the light in front of the entrance to the parking garage changed to red.

Another sigh escaped his lips, the wind dying down as the darkened clouds covered the sun, bathing Roman's face in shadow. He looked up, the clouds thickening, lacing themselves together so no amount of bright blue could shine through. Grey eyes looked down at the street, the first few drops of rain landing on his arms as they rested on the top of the concrete wall. He just watched as they splattered against his skin before sliding down into the concrete.

He shook his head, the light rain becoming heavier. He had to stop letting Cody under his skin. He had to push back their memories and start over. He could hope that deep down Cody would remember or even that they would fall in love all over again, but he knew those chances were slight. With Drew there and completely free, there was no reason for Cody to give him a second look. He turned his back to the falling rain, taking large strides to the driver's side door and getting in. He'd just have to pretend that the last few years between them had never happened and that they'd only been friends.

* * *

(A/N): Well, we're finally making our way OUT of the hospital! I'm glad! I've spent more than enough time in hospitals and hospital rooms. So yeah, things are getting a little deeper, and harder for Roman. Thoughts? Feelings? Let me know! Onwards and Upwards lovelies! Title is Wash Away The Years by Creed.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	7. Coming Home

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 6.  
**

**Note: This is an extra update for the week since it's a shorter chapter. Check back Friday for our regular update as well! Enjoy! -JJ**

* * *

_**Coming Home**_

Cody could barely sit still in the hospital room's chair as he waited for his discharge papers and Roman. His blue eyes scanned the room over, taking in the white walls and medical equipment around him that he'd grown to know well. It wasn't until his gaze rested on the view of the boring brick outside his window that his excitement started to wane. His thoughts took him right to Roman.

Would he still be there to pick him up? Would the ride home be awkward? Would them being alone in their home feel weird? He closed his eyes, heart pounding at each unsure question.

He could always spend a few days at his parents' place, or even Dustin's if he asked. He shook his head. No, he couldn't stay somewhere else. He had to get used to Roman. He had to relearn how they interacted and lived together, and that meant he had to go home to understand what kind of power Roman had over him.

Blue eyes slowly opened, his gaze falling down to the black duffle bag his father had brought up to him the night before. He'd already packed his clothes and the various cards and notes he'd received, most from friends, two from Mike and his wife Maryse both apologizing that they hadn't been able to see him or physically be there.

He sighed softly, wondering when Roman would be up. It was already ten. He'd been telling himself not to think too much about the other male. He didn't want to add anymore unnecessary stress to him. His fingers picked at the strap of his brace, thinking just how stand offish Roman had been to him the last few times they'd spoken.

A hard, quick knock on the door echoed through the near silent room before a tall blond nurse entered, a packet of papers in her hand. "Alright now, we've got your physical therapy appointments all set for the next two weeks. After that, they'll see if you need anymore. You have a follow up with Dr. Del Rio next week about you memory and head trauma. And finally, there's a sheet with mental therapists if you decide you would like to see them," she explained, handing over the paperwork. She gave a bright smile, questioning blue eyes running over her face. "Questions?"

"Why would I need a mental therapist?" Cody asked, confused on what someone like that could really do for him. He watched a soft smile spread across the pink painted lips.

"Well sweetie, we give out a list for people who might need some help coping after major accidents. But for you, it might help you remember some things. It's all optional, but we strongly recommend you at least try it out. It couldn't hurt right?" she explained, brushing the palms of her hands on the legs of her blue and white striped scrub pants. "So whenever you're ready, you're all cleared to go. I'll wheel you down to patient pick-up when your ride is here."

Cody nodded, thanking her. "I'm just…." He paused, another knock grabbing his attention. He looked up expectantly, heart pounding in excitement against his sternum. He was ready to see the tall Samoan man. His bright smile fell and disappointment surged through his chest when it wasn't Roman that stepped in smiling. He forced the smile back into place, knowing he should still be happy to see the tall, Scot. "Hey Drew," he breathed, looking down at the packet of papers in his lap, his smile starting to slowly fade.

"Ready to go?" Drew asked, telling himself to ignore the look of hurt etched into Cody's handsome features. He gave a brighter smile, walking over and picking up Cody's bag. "I owe you some coffee, right?" He took in the dark jeans on Cody's legs, the white and red t-shirt loose around his torso.

Cody nodded, standing and transferring to the wheelchair his nurse had just brought in. "Yeah," he murmured, wondering why Roman not being there bothered him as much as it did. He shook his head, watching as the scenery changed as he was wheeled down to the elevators and through more hallways before he was actually looking at the outside world again. He couldn't help but give a genuine smile at the warm breeze that blew across his face as the automatic doors opened. It was more freeing and comforting than he thought it would be.

"Well, this is your stop Mr. Rhodes," the woman chuckled, following the tall Scot over to his car. "Good luck to you." She smiled, shaking Cody's good hand and watching as he scuffled into the passenger seat. She waved as Drew put the bag in the back seat and started away.

Cody felt his smile widen as the car pulled out of the hospital's drive and hit the road. His heart was light and full of happiness as they drove. "I can't believe I'm finally out of there!" he whispered, the initial shock of really being in the outside world again overwhelming. "And I can finally go home." His eyes searched everything around them, never landing on anything for more than a moment or two, trying to take in every single bit of it before it flew past him.

Drew looked over, smiling. "I'm glad you're happy," he started, resting his right hand on the gear shift between him and Cody, taking the chance to look over. "I haven't seen you smile like that in a long time."

Cody's eyes moved to Drew, the handsome face just as beautiful as it always had been. "I don't think I've been this happy in a while," he murmured, his left hand reaching out to rest on Drew's. "Well, I would be a little happier if Roman hadn't lied to me. If he didn't want to pick me up, that's all he had to say."

Drew felt an uncomfortable pang in his heart. "He really wanted to Cody," he breathed, closing his eyes for a split second. "He called me this morning asking if I'd pick you up. He had a something urgent he had to take care of." He looked over, the smile starting to fall on the other man's face. "Hey, don't look so grim. You're out of the hospital and we can finally have that coffee."

Cody's smile was renewed. Yeah, they could have coffee and they could have a conversation just between them, no interrupting nurses or visitors. "Sounds like a plan," he breathed, looking down at his brace, suddenly feeling a little nervous about going out with Drew. It wasn't a secret that he still felt a strong attraction to him.

Drew laced his fingers with Cody's, easily driving them down to the same coffee shop they always hit when they spent time together. "The same?" he asked, knowing that over the entirety of their friendship that Cody's taste had never changed about coffee. He always got the same thing: a caramel macchiato mocha chino with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles.

Cody nodded, a real smile finally taking place on his lips. "You remember that after all these years?" he asked, wondering if the coffee shop they even went to was still around. "Is Second Cup still in business?"

Drew nodded. "Yeah, it's still a little shop down town, the owner moved away though. She sold it to her son about a year ago, he's done some remodeling but it still has the same feel," he explained, thinking about the small shop. "I was thinking we could sit and talk a little before you go home."

Cody nodded again, liking that idea. He had a lot he wanted to talk to Drew about. He rode in a comfortable silence, listening to the soft music playing on the radio. He felt like he knew the band, though he was sure it didn't matter since he wouldn't be up to date with any current popular music. He settled on listening, his eyes flicking from the roads he knew to Drew's handsome face. Once they'd stopped in the familiar parking lot he paused, refusing to let go of Drew's hand after he'd put the car in park. "I don't want to go in for long. I just want to talk to you," he said softly, knowing that he still looked rough. His face had healed up considerably, leaving only a few scratches and scabs visible, his other lingering bruises covered by his t-shirt and blue jeans.

Drew understood. "Do you just want me to run in really quick? Then we can park down at the beach and walk around the boardwalk for a bit," he suggested, his thumb stroking the back of Cody's hand absent mindedly. He smiled at the small voice of approval before tugging Cody to him, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.

Cody felt heat radiate down his face as his cheeks flared and his heart burst in his chest. He felt little flutters in his belly as he watched Drew get out and head inside the small mom-and-pop shop that they used to frequent every week. He closed his eyes, the feel of those lips on him so right. He breathed out a sigh, his fingers once again fiddling with the straps of his brace, his head going ninety to nothing with excitement to be out of the hospital and with Drew.

A nagging in the back of his head, made him wonder what had been so important that Roman had to ditch him without even a phone call to the nurses to let him know to expect someone else. He sighed again, this time more out of slight irritation that he was letting it bother him. What was it that made him constantly think of him?

A sudden thought struck him. Was it the guy that Roman had his eyes on? Was he the reason that Roman had left him? He felt his heart jump at the thought. His mouth went dry. He didn't understand the sudden fear that over took him of being so easily replaced, those caring eyes on someone else, those soft hands touching someone other than him. He shook his head, covering his face with his good hand, telling himself to stop thinking. What Roman did was none of his business, they were just friends. And he'd even encouraged Roman to put himself out there. He groaned softly, telling himself once again to stop thinking about him.

Drew opened the door a moment later, handing Cody his cold drink before slipping in and shutting the door, his own foam cup of hot coffee being set in the cup holder. He smiled, looking over at Cody's delighted face as he took a sip. "Well, it's been a while since I've seen that," he laughed, blue doe eyes looking at him, much like a young child getting caught while indulging in a treat. "I missed your smile."

Cody released the straw from his lips, a questioning look on his face. "What do you mean? We go out every week for coffee," he said, the sudden somber look on Drew's face making his chest tight. "What happened in those three years between us Drew?"

Drew was silent, turning the car on and backing out. He was hurrying to think of something to tell Cody. How could he to tell him the truth? How was he supposed to make up a lie? "We haven't really talked much in the last year," he started, taking a sip of his coffee, trying to absorb some of its heat into his frozen core.

"You're one of my best friends, why wouldn't I talk to you?" Cody questioned, setting his own cup in the holder and looking over at Drew. He was confused; him and Drew had always been good friends, even when they weren't involved with each other.

Drew blew out a sigh, stopping at a red light and resting his hands in his lap. He closed his eyes for a moment, wondering what the hell he was supposed to say. He cursed Roman and his web of lies, he was close to falling into the sticky web.

"Drew?"

"The guy you were with. He… um… he didn't like us talking," he started, looking over at Cody before looking back at the road, his dark blue eyes resting on the sports car ahead of them. He didn't want to make Roman look like the bad guy, but he was tired of lying. "I think he was afraid of you leaving him."

Cody's eyes narrowed, wondering what he could've seen in someone so shallow. "He obviously wasn't worth it," he growled, pushing the button to roll down his window, enjoying the heavy air that filled the car. He breathed in the humid breeze, the fresh ocean smell sinking into him. "Why would I ever date an asshole like that?"

Drew physically winced at the harshness of Cody's words, suddenly feeling bad about telling Cody the truth. He knew Roman had every right to want Cody to stay away from him with their history and how they'd been right before Cody and Roman started dating. He eased off the brake when the light turned, letting them start down the road again. "So, you wanted to talk?"

Cody nodded, letting his mind focus on his own questions. "Yeah, after we stop," he breathed, heart once again pounding in his chest. He saw the beach come into view and he felt a small gasp leave his lungs. As usual, it was beautiful, the sparkling blue waters always inviting, the gentle waves rolling in with white surf before hitting the blazing white sand.

Drew pulled into the parking lot not too far from where the lines of shops began. He parked and turned the car off, looking over to where Cody was still sitting in awe. "C'mon, don't go acting like a tourist," he laughed. He felt Cody's hand rest on his before light blue eyes met his. He only smiled, untrusting of his body to do anything else.

Cody's heart raged in his chest, his own eyes looking from one beautiful blue orb to the other before he leaned across the console and pressed his lips to Drew's. His eyes fell shut, the soft lips against his molding to him, two warm hands coming to cradle his face. Easily, his lips parted and his tongue ran over Drew's lower lip, wishing to seek entrance into the warm mouth.

Drew could barely think as their tongues met, the slick muscle gliding along his easily. He groaned, pulling Cody in closer. His body was on fire to have those lips on him again. He groaned, his conscience nagging at him to stop, telling him it was wrong for him to be enjoying the kiss as much as he was. He pulled away a moment later, licking the little bit of Cody left on his lips to savor the taste just a little longer.

"I'm out of the hospital," Cody breathed, eyes once again focused on Drew's. He waited, the dark eyes looking away from him. He felt a prick of rejection seep into him. He knew that conflicted look well. It wasn't the first time he'd seen in on Drew's face. "There's someone else, isn't there?"

Drew's eyes snapped up to meet Cody's. "No, it's not that," he answered quickly, his hands sliding down to take Cody's good, left one between them. "It's not that at all." He blew out a sigh, resting his forehead against Cody's. "I didn't think you would ever want to be with me again. I'm just trying to let it sink in. "

Cody smiled again, hope filling him as he pushed another kiss to Drew's lips, this one soft and chaste before he pulled back. "You're the only one I've felt like this with Drew, you know that," he breathed, heart pounding. "You were the first guy I was with and from what I know the only one I've ever loved."

Drew closed his eyes, a hurt smile resting on his lips. He nodded, heart pounding. This wasn't fair to him, it wasn't fair to Roman, and in the end, it wasn't fair to Cody to live with this lie. "I want to say yes, God I just want to say yes, but you should spend some time at home before we start this again," he explained, eyes opening to slightly shocked ones. "It's been three years, you should at least get completely filled in before you decide this is something you really want." As much as pushing Cody away hurt, Drew knew he had to do it.

Cody sighed softly, pulling back with a nod. That wasn't what he wanted to hear, but if Drew thought it would be better for him to get reacquainted with his life first, he'd do it. He pushed out a smile, wondering if Drew knew something about the last three years he didn't want Cody to know about. "My feelings aren't going to change," he finally whispered, a soft smile resting on the other man's lips.

Drew only nodded, knowing fully well that they would if Cody remembered. He knew how much Cody had loved Roman. He tried to smiled back, inwardly cursing at how his wildest dream had come true and he was fighting it tooth and nail. Cody wanted him again and he was trying to restrain himself as much as possible. He hated the irony of it all. "Don't be so bold Cody," he murmured, looking down at his hands as they picked at each other in his lap.

Cody sighed, scooting towards the center of the car, his eyes refusing to leave Drew's face. "I'm just telling you the truth," he answered, dark blue eyes meeting his. "I never stopped loving you Drew."

Drew's chest tightened, his jaw tightening. He'd always wanted to hear those words, but at that moment they were completely wrong. They only hurt him. He wanted to tell Cody everything, every last detail of his life in the last three years. He wanted nothing more than to tell Cody about him and Roman, fill him in on what he didn't know. His thoughts were stopped, his phone vibrating in his pocket. He reached for it, thankful for the distraction. He read the message, smiling softly. "It's Roman, you ready to go back?"

Cody nodded slowly, looking down at his brace, wondering what it was that was holding Drew back for letting them be together, actually be together again. "Yeah, I guess we should go," he muttered, looking up into far off blue eyes. "Promise me something?"

Drew almost missed the whispered words after they'd started driving down the road again. He nodded, knowing Cody was looking over at him. "Anything," he breathed, wondering what he was getting himself into.

"Give us another chance. After I get settled in and things go back to normal. Let us be happy like he were," Cody near pleaded, looking back down at his drink as he picked it up and took a long drink, stopping only when he felt his head start to ache from the sudden cold.

Drew smirked, at least Cody was giving him some time. He knew it made him the scum of the earth, but secretly he'd always hoped for a moment like this. He'd wanted Cody back more than anything, but this wasn't how he'd wanted it. He didn't want it to cause all of this pain. "Promise," he answered, looking over and smiling at the happy eyes. "After you get settled in."

Cody gave a genuine smile. "Thank you. I promise, I'll make you happy again," he swore, watching the little shiver run down Drew's spine. "So, we were just waiting for Roman to get home?"

Drew shrugged. "He's the only one with a key. Unless you wanted to sit in the car for who knows how long," he laughed, reaching over and touching Cody's left hand gently, wanting to hold it just a little longer. This was the most he'd ever get from Cody, he knew that and he wasn't going to waste what little bit he was offered. He was going to enjoy it while he had the option to.

Once they'd pulled up to the beautiful one story home, Cody's eyes widened, his mouth wide. It was beautiful Spanish style house with brown stucco walls and a deep rust colored roof. He couldn't believe him and Roman lived there. He watched as Drew pulled into the double driveway next to a black car, wondering why it looked so familiar. He took a shaky breath, everything suddenly becoming real. He was really home.

* * *

(A/N): Sorry for such a short chapter, but the plus side is, extra upload! Yay! Anyway, yeah, Drew and Cody, about those two… Any speculation on why Roman didn't pick Cody up? I'd love to hear some theories! Hope you liked it, thoughts and feelings are always appreciated! Onwards and Upwards! Title is Coming Home by Alter Bridge.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	8. Back To What You Know

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 7.**

**Note: We will totally find out why Roman didn't pick Cody up at the hospital! Hope you enjoy! -JJ**

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_**Back To What You Know**_

Drew could see the apprehension on Cody as they got out of the car, Cody's bag slung over his shoulder as they walked up to the door. He tested the handle, finding it open before he pushed the door open, motioning for Cody to step in first.

Cody took a step into the darkened room, only the light from the wide windows and open door streaming in. He glanced in, taking a step into the cool living room. He jumped back a moment later, his back slamming into Drew's chest.

"SURPRISE!"

Drew smirked, the smile on Cody's lips perfect as everyone jumped out, the over head light flashing on. He looked from one end of the large living room to the other, smiling faces meeting him as streamers and silly string flew through the air.

Cody's lips refused to fall from their smile, his eyes resting right on the man in the middle, his bronze lips turned up in a bright, joyous smile. "Roman!" he yelped, something inside of him jolting him to rush into the strong arms. He felt that same comfortable warmth run over him as they wrapped around him.

Roman looked up, a soft but sad smile running over Drew's face. He closed his eyes, hugging Cody even closer to him. "Welcome home," he whispered, laughter and cheers surrounding them. He reluctantly let Cody go when he pulled back. "Surprise."

"This is why you didn't pick me up?" he questioned, hands still resting on Roman's sides. He earned a small, sheepish nod. His heart started to swell, his lower lip bitten between his teeth as the tears welled up in his eyes. He felt warm hands cup his face, one thumb wiping the first one away just as it started its slow journey down his cheek.

"Don't cry, we're all happy you're home." Roman's words were soft, caring as his grey eyes rested on the light blue ones. The corners of his mouth turned up in a small, fragile smile.

"Aw, look what you did Rome!" Kofi called, hurrying up and wrapping his arms around Cody. "We're glad you're home buddy!" His strong hug was returned, everyone taking a turn in hugging the shaking man close to them before the real festivities began, Jon turning some music on while Josh and Trinity helped Seth bring out the food and refreshments.

Cody was in shock, the entire room just blurring with people, some he remembered, others he didn't. He was sure they all knew him, just by how open and caring they were with him. He hated that he couldn't remember them. He looked down at the floor, Damien being the one to come up and hand him a plastic cup of punch. "Dame?" he questioned, taking in the thick beard and dark eyes. "You haven't changed at all."

Damien only smirked, enjoying the little bit of ego stroking he was getting. "With a face like this, how could I?" he asked, chuckling at the eye roll he got. "Seriously, how are you feeling?"

Cody shrugged, smiling. "A little confused, but happy. I don't remember half of them, but they know me. I know they do," he blurted, taking a moment to look at the floor. "Wait, the shop!"

Damien only smiled back. "For the first time since inception, I'm almost saddened to say that Scholarly Bookstore is closed for personal reasons," he rattled, enjoying the sound of Cody's laugh as it was swallowed up by the loud room. "I'm happy you're home Cody." He pushed his own cup to his lips, taking in the sweetness. "Josh made it."

Cody's brows furrowed, looking down into the punch. He wasn't sure who that was. "Who… who is that?" he asked, looking up into slightly saddened eyes.

Damien gave a small sigh, looking around the room, pointing to each individual. "That's Jon, he's the one working the music. His wife is the dark skinned woman over there pouring punch. His twin is the one who made the punch. Josh is the one talking to Roman, who is looking right at you," he explained, Cody's eyes following Damien's directions. He looked at Roman, his cheeks starting to heat up as he looked away from the intense gaze.

"Cody!" Seth yelped, bounding up and wrapping an arm around Cody's shoulders. "I'm glad you're back, now I can spend some actual time having fun again." He smiled, looking down into confused eyes. "Oh, that's right." He pulled his arm back, his voice a mere murmur. "You wouldn't remember me. We didn't meet until after you'd met Rome."

Cody tried to force out a smile, suddenly feeling bad. He looked up at the other man who was silently standing there in a black t-shirt, his blue eyes focused across the room. "I know you!" he snapped, pulling away from Seth. "You're Dean."

Dean looked over, eyes wide. Him and Cody had met several times before Cody had ever laid eyes on Roman. He gave a small shake of his head, his eyes motioning to Seth. He gave an inward sigh when Cody didn't get the hint.

"You came in asking about photography!" Cody blurted out, a light blush running across the averted face. "Did Seth like it?"

Seth looked from Dean to Cody, smiling. "So that's where you went for those books," he breathed, hooking his arm with Dean, his hand sliding into the other man's. "I did like them." His eyes met Cody's, the other man going suddenly pale.

"I'm so sorry!" He wasn't supposed to let Seth know that he'd been the one to help Dean out. Cody looked down at his feet, scuffing his shoes on the carpet. "I'm sorry, I didn't know," he murmured, looking up into soft brown eyes before looking over to the pale blue ones, a small smile tugging at the corner of Dean's lips. He felt his chest warm, wondering if they were finally together. He'd spent more than enough time talking with Dean about Seth in the shop on slow days.

Cody looked away, a small brunette man close to Roman as they spoke. He felt heat bubble in his chest, his eyes narrowing at just how openly he touched Roman's arm. "Who's that?" he nearly spat, jaw tightening at how at ease Roman looked with him. He didn't know him, but he could already tell that he didn't like him.

Seth looked over, smirking up at Dean. "That's Evan," he answered, nearly chuckling at the jealousy that was rolling off of Cody in waves. "He's Roman's ex-boyfriend." He only added in the last part to see what kind of reaction he would get. He nearly laughed when Cody started away from them a determined strut in his walk.

"You really had to tell him that?" Dean asked, tugging Seth into him, a dark look in his narrowed eyes.

"Why wouldn't I? Look at him, he's jealous and he doesn't even know Evan or the history him and Roman have. It shows some things never change," Seth answered, earning a dark look from Damien. "Look, I'm doing Rome a solid here. If Cody can remember something, anything, it's gotta open some other doors up, right? Right?"

"You've been overly indulging yourself with appalling romantic comedies," Damien blew out, gaining two dark glares.

"Shut up Damien," Dean snapped, watching the scene before them unfold.

* * *

Roman smiled, Evan's hand touching his arm. "How's Jake doing?" he asked, taking some comfort in the small gesture. "It's too bad that he couldn't make it."

Evan shrugged, smiling back. "He's not one for parties, you know that. But he's doing great. He's getting used to his new job at DiBiase Corp as one of their accountants," he explained, looking down at his drink, his smile slowly fading. "He misses being a field hand out in Oklahoma though. He says suits and ties are just too stuffy."

"Doesn't he like when you wear it though," Roman questioned, smirking at the blush that seemed to creep over the boyish face. "I mean, you did always look good in slacks." He laughed, Evan poking his tongue out at him. "How's your business going anyway?"

Evan opened his mouth to respond but stopped.

Cody was glaring at the male that was just an inch or two shorter than him, his left arm wrapping around Roman's tattooed one. His eyes narrowed, lips thinning, measuring the other male up before tugging Roman just enough to get his attention. He gave a bright smile, those beautiful grey eyes resting on him curiously. "I never said thank you," he breathed, heart pounding at the soft look in Roman's eyes, glad that they were once again only on him.

"Cody this is Evan," Roman introduced, looking from his ex boyfriend to Cody. "He came to visit you once while you were still out. He wanted to check on you." He missed the seething irritation running from Cody's eyes to Evan, but he could feel the tension as it started to rise heatedly between the two.

"Well, I'll let you two talk. I'm glad you're home Cody," Evan said, sighing when Cody curtly nodded at him before dismissing him completely. He took a step back, shaking his head as Roman and Cody started towards the kitchen, Cody stuck to Roman's arm like he'd fall if he let go. "You don't even know me and you still hate me."

Roman looked over his shoulder at where he'd left Evan, feeling more than a little bad for just letting Cody pull him away. "So, anyone else that you don't remember?" he asked a moment later, Cody loosening his grip on his arm. "I saw you talking to Seth and Dean earlier."

Cody nodded, starting to feel a little embarrassed for how he'd acted. He was only Roman's roommate, there was no need to feel so jealous that those eyes were on someone else. "Yeah, I messed that up royally," he muttered, looking over to where the two toned man and the blond were standing, their hands undone but still close together as they spoke. "Dean's come to the shop a lot asking about the history of photography and stuff for Seth. I didn't think to ask who he was."

Roman nodded, smirking at the two. "Yeah, he's always had a thing for Seth. Funny thing is, Dean's the reason Seth even got into photography. We were all messing around one day in high school and Seth took this really awesome picture of Dean sitting on the brick wall outside his house. I think I have a copy of it somewhere. I'll show it to you sometime," he explained, shaking his head, his bun slapping lightly against his skull. "They've been in love with each other for years but neither one of them has the balls to admit it."

Cody felt a shiver run through him, unsure of what kind of emotion was wrapped up in it. It was almost sad, watching how closely Seth and Dean seemed to be but unable to admit their feelings. "Why hasn't anyone tried to set them up yet?" he asked, looking up into darkening eyes. "Roman?"

"Seth's boyfriend," he muttered, shaking his head, looking down into the curious blue eyes. "Him and Seth have been together off and on for six or seven years. He likes to play with Seth's emotions, it's pretty sick. You know the sad part?" He took a moment to pause, taking a deep breath. "I've known Seth since we were kids and I never knew how fucked up his and Punk's relationship was until you told me. You and Seth were really good friends."

Cody felt a pang of guilt in his heart, wondering if he could be that kind of friend to Seth again. "We were?" he questioned softly, watching as Seth took a step away from Dean, a frown running over the full lips of the two toned man.

Roman nodded. "Yeah. Some of the best," he answered, watching the same scene as Cody, Dean and Seth sharing a heated look before both broke apart and started away in different directions. He sighed, pulling free from Cody. "I better go check on Dean." He was muttering under his breath, rubbing at frustration lines in his forehead. "I'll be back."

Cody nodded, watching Roman quickly walk over to where the dark blond was standing. He smiled softly, looking over the rest of the party. He felt warm and welcomed back home, both by his friends and Roman. He suddenly felt guilty for thinking that Roman had ditched him at the hospital.

"Well, having fun?"

Cody turned, a wide smile plastering to his lips. "Mike!" he nearly yelled, throwing both arms around the other man's neck, ignoring the pain shooting up his injured arm. "All that time in the fucking hospital and all I get is a lousy card!" He was only teasing but he could easily see the lingering regret in the blue eyes. "I promise I'm only teasing you."

Mike gave a half smirk, pulling back and ruffling the dark hair. "Yeah, I know. So, you happy to be home finally?" he asked, eyes running over the other man's face. "Because I know Roman's happy for you to be out. He's been blowing my phone up about you."

Cody felt a light blush run over his cheeks. "He was that worried about me?" he asked gently, looking up at the Samoan man across the room. He felt a warmth spread across his core, radiating to his extremities.

Mike nodded, looking over to where Cody was looking. "I'm surprised he even let Seth talk him into having this party," he eased, wondering how much Cody knew. He'd been told by Dusty that Roman had said that him and Cody where roommates to make it easier on him, but he didn't see it lasting long. Roman always had trouble keeping his hands to himself when it came to Cody.

Cody looked up curiously.

"It would have been more normal for him to bring you home and ravish…."

"Michael!"

Mike turned, his blue eyes wide as they met the less than happy ones of his wife. "Oh hey honey," he chuckled nervously, sure that she'd overheard him. "I was just telling Cody about how much we missed him. Wasn't I Cody?"

Cody nodded, more than a little confused. He looked at the beautiful blond, her curvy figure hugged by a pink and white strapless sun dress. "You look better and better Maryse," he said finally, smiling at the beautiful woman. "How's the modeling business?"

Maryse perked up, wrapping her slender arms around Cody's neck and pulling him for a hug. "It's the same as usual. It's nicer now that Mike can travel with me though. We've been enjoying our time in LA," she explained, pulling back. "We moved out there a couple years ago. Roman told us that you were having some memory troubles. I'm so sorry we couldn't make it out here before. Someone's boss had to be a complete jack ass and wouldn't let him leave."

"I said I was sorry! I didn't have much of a choice baby," Mike retorted, his wife making him feel even more guilty. "I wanted to be here just as much as you did."

Cody chuckled, those two never changed. "So, in your cards you had Mike's last name. Did I miss the wedding too?" he asked, letting the perfectly manicured hand take his good one. "Because I can't believe I missed that."

Maryse only smiled, her free hand fiddling with her phone, holding up a photo of the entire wedding party. "You were one of the groomsmen. See?" she asked, taking her hand and pointing at Cody in the photo, the second from the front. "It was two summers ago. We got married right on the beach. It was so beautiful." She smiled a little brighter, the blue eyes focused on the photo. She looked up, a sandy blond walking up to their small group. "Hello Ted."

Cody looked up, Ted standing there with a solo cup of punch. "Hey Teddy," he greeted, looking over to Mike and Maryse. He wondered if things were okay between the two or if they were still on thin ice.

"How've you been?" Ted asked, wrapping an arm around Cody's shoulders, taking a sip of his drink. He looked down into the playful blue eyes before looking back up at the happy couple. "I heard you're clothing line is taking off pretty well."

Maryse nodded, smiling. "Yeah, Mike's working really hard on getting it off the ground," she answered, taking a step forward and hugging Ted tightly. "I heard about your engagement. When's the wedding?"

Teddy couldn't help but let a blush run over his cheeks. "We're… uh… we're not sure yet," he murmured, arms shaking as they wrapped around the woman's thin waist. He pulled away a moment later, his eyes meeting Mike's. They shared a quick moments glance before Mike took Maryse's hand and led her away.

"So you and Maryse?" Cody asked, seeing the small look of disappointment on the handsome face. "Still the one that got away?"

Ted shrugged, looking down at Cody. "Something like that," he breathed, sighing. "More like they both got away with each other. A few weeks before they got married me and Mike got a little too drunk and… yeah. Maryse was okay with it as long as it all stopped before their wedding day. Can't say that I don't miss the threesomes we had."

Cody felt his entire face light up at the information. "Please tell me I didn't know about this before?" he nearly begged, trying not to imagine his best friends together. He knew the knowing smirk Ted had on his lips and for the first time since he'd woken up, he was thankful for that bit of his memory loss.

* * *

Trinity laughed, walking up behind Cody and wrapping her arms around him. "Welcome home babe," she giggled, turning Cody to her. "I'm so happy that you're home with Roman. He's been so worried about you getting back." She looked into the surprised blue eyes. "Oh Cody."

Cody smiled, remember what Damien had said about her being one of the twin's wife. He wondered how he knew her. He didn't have a chance to ask when she pulled him in for another hug, his face landing right in between her breasts.

"Trin, stop suffocating him!" Jon called, walking over and pulling the smaller man back a little, letting him breath in a deep breath of air. "You're going to kill someone one of these days with those."

Trinity only smirked, a small blush painted on her dark cheeks. "Well, normally you'd approve of that," she teased, it suddenly apparent that she'd had a little too much to drink. "Roman's outside by the pool if you're looking for him."

Jon smiled, pulling his wife into him. "Now, why would I want my cousin when I have this foxy little wife in front of me?" he asked, hoping that it would give Cody the hint to go find the bigger man. Although he didn't like the idea of Roman lying to Cody, he wasn't going to go against it. He'd already came up with the resolve to try and ease Cody into loving Roman again, much like the idea Seth had.

Cody took his leave, heading right to the sliding glass door, opening it and slipping out. He paused, watching as Dean stood there on the concrete patio, a cigarette dangling from his lips as his blue eyes watched as Roman and Seth stood at the far side of the yard, their legs dangling in the in ground pool. He walked up, smiling. "Hey again," he breathed, looking over into the complex blue eyes.

Dean didn't spare Cody a look, just kept his eyes focused on Seth. "Hey Cody," he finally greeted a minute or so later. "You wanna know something funny?"

Cody tilted his head to the side, ready for whatever it was that Dean wanted to say. "What's that?" he asked after a long pause had settled between them.

"No matter how many times I try to say the right words, I always end up fucking it up. He doesn't need someone like me in his life," Dean murmured, taking a drag of his cigarette before taking it between his index and middle finger, straightening up from his bent over position on the deck railing. "I'm too fucked up for him."

Cody felt something pull at his heart. He knew a little about Dean's past, mostly from off hand remarks that Dean would make while they were walking isles at the shop. "Don't say stuff like that," he chastised, resting a hand on Dean's forearm. "It doesn't matter what kind of person you were, or where you came from. What you have for Seth is the purest form of love I've ever seen."

Dean let the words sink in, heart aching. He blew out the smoke, his eyes traveling over to where Seth was pulling his legs out of the sparkling water. He didn't speak, just turned away from Cody, squatting to stub out his half smoked cigarette before taking the butt and walking back inside.

Cody only watched, hoping he hadn't said anything offensive. He sighed, turning to where Seth was walking back towards him, a smile on the bearded face. He smiled back, his eyes floating back to where Roman was sitting, now a little slumped forward. He took a step over, heart pounding. He stopped, Roman pulling his own legs up onto the concrete before standing and turning towards him. He swallowed hard around a lump in his throat, hands shaking as those dark grey eyes landed on him.

Roman walked over to Cody, smiling softly. "Get bored?" he asked, cocking his head to the side, taking in the slightly confused and awe stricken face. "Hey, I know I'm good looking and all, but…." He stopped, the flicker of light in Cody's eyes making him go numb. He'd seen those eyes on Cody before, mostly before they were entangled in each others arms. His teeth clenched, wondering if there was anything that was going on in Cody's mind. He hoped, but didn't dare let it take him over, not wanting to feel the bitter ache if it was nothing.

Cody's lips turned up into a smile as his eyes looked away. "Not really, just needed some air. Your cousin's wife almost suffocated me in her chest," he admitted, eyes coming to rest on his feet.

Roman sighed, knowing exactly who Cody was talking about. "They gave Trin too much to drink again," he murmured, shaking his head. "At least her and Ari aren't together, the house would have two near naked women running around it."

Cody couldn't help but chuckle, his good hand reaching over to touch Roman's tattooed one. He felt a bolt of electricity run through his arm. "I wish I could at least remember a little bit," he breathed, looking up into surprised crystalline orbs. "I'm missing out on some of the best friendships I probably ever had."

Roman nodded, untrusting of his voice. He felt lines of fire burn where Cody's fingers slid down his forearm before resting against Cody's side. He wanting nothing more than to pull Cody in and tell him that it wasn't just his friends that missed him. He missed Cody. He missed being Cody's lover, and most of all, he missed Cody loving him back.

* * *

(A/N): And End chapter! Hope everyone's enjoying and following along easily enough! I don't have much to say, other than we're getting a little more background of everyone and the history along with it as they charge forward. Anyway, let me know what you guys think! I also wanted to add this in, but I had decided that Seth was going to be a photographer before I started reading GatesVengaance's fic "Paparazzi" where he is also a photographer, although it has more importance in her fic than here. So, even if you don't care about the coincidence, you should still go check her fic out, seriously, why are you still here? GO! And as always, Onwards and upwards! Title is Back To What You Know by Ne-yo.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	9. Alone Together

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 8.  
**

**Note: Extra update for over 50 reviews! You guys are amazing! See you Monday. -JJ**

* * *

_**Alone Together**_

Roman rested heavily into the leather sofa, sighing heavily once the last person had left, leaving him and Cody alone in their home. "Finally, they're gone," he breathed, chuckling. He looked over, smile fading when he noticed that Drew was still in the doorway, his hands tightly clasped around Cody's good hand. He looked away, closing his eyes so he didn't see the adoration in Cody's eyes as they looked up into the handsome face of the Scot.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," Drew answered, wanting nothing more than to lean in and kiss Cody goodbye. He only smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to Cody's hand, stopping when Cody refused to let go. He saw a flash of jealous anger in the freshly opened grey eyes as Cody eased up and pressed a chaste, goodbye kiss to his lips. He smiled, eyes returning to the bright blue ones.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow," Cody answered, heart fluttering at the light kiss they shared. He smiled, shutting the door, leaning heavily against it, his eyes resting on Roman's turned head, a sudden wash of guilt running over him. He took a shaky step over, wondering why his legs suddenly felt so weak. He swallowed hard, sitting down next to the other man, wondering why the silence between them was so comfortable. "I owe you an apology."

Roman's eyes opened, heart aching at the kiss he'd seen played over his in head. "For what?" he asked, voice low and gentle. He looked over, Cody's fingers once again playing with the straps of his brace.

"I was pretty pissed off at your this morning," he admitted, eyes never leaving the black material. "When Drew came to pick me up, I really wanted to see you. I felt like you'd ditched me or something." He gave a nervous chuckle, suddenly feeling stupid.

Roman gave a chuckle, his of amusement. "I'd never ditch you," he murmured, closing his eyes again, his head lolling back on the couch, sinking deeper into the cushions. His heart started to pound in his chest when he felt fingers run over his hand. He jerked it back, eyes snapping open and meeting surprised blue ones. "Sorry." He hadn't meant to be so jumpy, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to keep up the charade if he let Cody touch him.

Cody shook his head, looking down at the carpet. "No, I should've asked or something," he answered, nerves settling over him. "So, you gonna show me where everything is again?"

Roman nodded, standing, offering his hand to Cody to help him stand too. He felt fire shoot through his hand and up his arm when Cody's hand touched his. Inwardly he groaned, wondering how he was going to keep up his resolve and force himself to remain as Cody's roommate. "Well, this is our living room," he started, waving to the room, some left over streamers still decorating the floor. "And this is the dining room." He led Cody into the area where they're table was set up, the kitchen to his right. "The kitchen."

Cody nodded, taking in the cool pale white colored walls, the dark wood and black accents making everything feel comfortable. He looked over the pictures, finding several of his family on the walls, the others of Roman's family. He only made out a few of them together, mostly when they were in a group of others, but even so, they were right next to each other. His heart gave an uncomfortable thump.

"Down the hall," Roman started again, gently tugging on Cody's hand. He led them down the hall to the left, the door on the right opening. "Your room." He pointed at the large bed and warm mahogany furniture, posters and other comic memorabilia adorning the walls. "The right door is the bathroom." He pointed to the door just across the hall. "There's a linen closet inside where we keep towels and stuff."

Cody pushed open the door, flipping the light on and taking in the decent sized bathroom, a small sink with a vanity to the right, the toilet on the other side. The tub was just across from the sink, hiding the floor to ceiling cabinets on the other side, right across from the toilet. "And then that door is to your room?" he questioned, the last door just ahead of them.

Roman nodded, releasing Cody's hand and walking over to it. "Yeah, my room," he breathed, sadness tugging at him as he opened the door and showed the contents to Cody. "There's also a bathroom in here if you need it."

Cody nodded, taking a breath of air, suddenly feeling like he'd been in that room more than once. It just felt familiar. "Thank you," he murmured, taking a step back, Roman shutting the door and turning to him. "So, this is our house."

Roman nodded, feeling more than a little uncomfortable. "Yeah, our little place," he answered, hating just how empty the words were now. He felt empty there, wanting nothing more than to embrace Cody, tell him how much he missed him. He wanted to kiss those lips, remove every bit of Drew from Cody's mind. He sighed, taking a step back when he felt a warm hand on his cheek. He didn't want to feel those comforting hands on him.

"I'm glad to be home," Cody whispered, pulling his hand back, his fingers tightening around the fabric of his brace that ran across his palm. He groaned as those strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him tight against the broad chest. Cody couldn't help but smile, breathing in the unmistakable cologne, his heart pounding. Why did that smell make him feel so at ease? Why did it feel so right in those arms? Why didn't he feel guilty about it like he had after kissing Drew? Questions filled his head, taking his attention from just how short the hug had been because it was over just as quick as it had started.

"I'll see you in the morning. It's kinda late, and I'm sure you want to rest," Roman said softly, pulling back and breaking all contact between them. He gave a bright smile, before stepping past Cody and walking into the kitchen, where he proceeded to work on the dishes, rinsing them before putting them in the dishwasher.

* * *

Cody woke the next morning bleary eyed. He looked around the room, wondering why it looked so oddly familiar yet strange at the same time. He'd been waking up to those walls for a while, why did it feel like he'd barely seen them? He groaned, wondering if he'd ever remember. He knew being in familiar places could only help him, but waking up alone and in that room just didn't feel right at all.

He rubbed his eyes, sitting up and throwing his legs over the side of the bed, wincing when he put a little too much pressure on his wounded wrist. He looked down at the still bruised skin, before grabbing his brace and putting it on. He wiggled his fingers, making sure it wasn't too tight before he stood, his pajama pants untwisting from around his legs as he stood and made his way to the door.

The smell of breakfast was thick in the air when Cody opened his bedroom door. He felt his stomach rumble as he looked out, mouth going dry when he walked into the kitchen, eyes falling on the expansive, bare back of his roommate. He looked Roman up and down, his dark hair pulled back into a messy tail at the base of his skull, a pair of basketball shorts rode low on his hips, giving Cody even more skin to stare at. He swallowed hard, his body growing hot. He shook his head, looking down at his bare feet, telling himself not to check his roommate out.

He took another step forward, leaning heavily against the line of counters, watching silently, his ears picking up the deep rumbling hum. He felt a smile run over his lips, his head resting on folded arms as he watched Roman. In that moment, he was the most comfortable and calm he'd been since he'd woken up, and Roman's deep humming was only soothing him even more. He gasped when Roman turned towards him, the long line of blue and purple marring a diagonal line across the otherwise flawless chest. He swallowed hard, surprised grey eyes meeting him. He looked away, a blush settling along his cheeks.

Roman couldn't help but let a small smile grace his lips, turning back to breakfast. "Morning," he greeted, voice soft and deep. He yawned slightly, looking over his shoulder, finding the same bruise mirrored on Cody's bare chest. "Sleep okay?"

Cody gave a near silent answer of yes, his eyes looking down at the counter top. He didn't dare look up, the sight of his roommate giving him warm chills and a pounding heartbeat. He tried to look up, sighing in relief when those grey eyes were once again on the stove. He closed his eyes, wondering why the intense urge to walk over to Roman and wrap his arms around the man's middle was so strong.

Roman could feel Cody's eyes on him. He felt almost awkward. He turned the fire off and spooned the eggs out onto the two plates before turning to Cody, a smile on his lips. "Breakfast is ready," he said gently, those wide blue running down his chest, concern filling them as they ran over the dark bruise. "It doesn't hurt. If you're wondering."

Cody nodded, walking over. The tips of his fingers traced over the bruise, electricity shooting up his hand and through his arm. "It still looks painful," he breathed, pulling his hand back slowly before touching his own mirroring bruise. His eyes shot up after he'd realized what he'd done. "I'm sorry."

Roman shook his head, heart pounding, heat radiating along the area that Cody's fingers had touched. "Don't be," he breathed, hands shaking beside him. He swallowed hard, putting a smile on. "Hungry?"

Cody nodded, returning the smile. He took the offered plate before walking him and Roman to the table, sitting down and digging in. He smiled, his mouth full of delicious breakfast foods. He hummed his approval, earning a deep laugh from the other man. He paused, heart pounding at the sound. A bright smile ran across his lips, really enjoying the sound. "I haven't heard you laugh yet," he breathed, body shivering. Each vibration of that deep voice rang through him, making his heart beat completely out of pace.

"Haven't had too much to laugh about lately," Roman answered, his little fit of laughter dying just as quick as it had started. "Not much at all." His light and cheery tone dropped, his eyes resting on his half eaten breakfast. He blew out a sigh, setting his fork down and pushing his plate away, looking up to brilliant blue eyes on him.

Cody didn't know what had come over him as he perked up, knowing there was something on the other man's mind. "Let's spend the day together. Just me and you," he suggested, slightly surprised grey eyes on him. "Let me get to know you again."

Roman looked down at the empty space between him and his plate on the table. "Aren't you meeting up with Drew?" he asked, trying hard to keep the bitterness out of his voice. He looked up, contemplative eyes looking down at the empty plate in front of him.

"I can just call and cancel. There'll be other days where I can see Drew," Cody said, wondering why the words just seemed to tumble out of his mouth without any thought. He looked up into the slightly shocked eyes, smiling brighter. "Drew told me that we were pretty close. I want to feel that again."

Roman felt his heart leap at those words, a bitter ache of sadness settling in his chest a moment later. He sighed, standing, grabbing his plate and taking it to the sink. Damn Drew and his mouth. The closeness he felt towards Cody would only make things awkward and hard on them. He heard Cody get up and bring over his own plate.

"If you have plans, I understand."

Roman turned, jaw tight as he looked into the blue eyes he loved. "No, it's not that," he started, hands shaking furiously at his sides. They just wanted to wrap around the male in front of him, let his body soak in the heat that Cody gave off. "I just…." He stopped, curiousness evident in the look that he was getting. "There's some things about me you don't know."

Cody felt his lips curl up into a small smile. "Then tell them to me," he answered, stepping to the side and setting his plate in the sink with Roman's. "We have all day to talk about it. Just let me call Drew."

Roman sighed, rubbing his face with his hands as Cody walked away in search of their house phone he was sure. He groaned, hands dropping when he heard the other male's voice ring through the house, telling Drew that he wanted to change their plans so he could get comfortable at home.

* * *

An hour later Cody was sitting in the passenger seat of his and Roman's car, looking out the open window at the beach that was fast approaching. He breathed in the salty ocean air, smiling at how calming it was on the hot day. "Can I ask a question?" he asked suddenly, turning his head from the window to face Roman.

Roman only nodded, untrusting of his mouth. He'd already had the mental fight several times to keep his hands on the wheel and not reach over to take Cody's in his.

"Why did you and Evan break up?"

Roman nearly slammed on the breaks, his eyes darting over to Cody's curious face as his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. "How…" he paused, taking a breath before silently pulling their car into a spot close to the boardwalk. "How do you know about him?"

Cody could hear the discomfort in Roman's voice. He suddenly regretted the question. "Um. Well, Seth told me yesterday at the party," he breathed finally, looking down at his hands before looking back over at Roman's still form, those steel eyes looking out at the crowd of people. "He didn't seem like a bad guy."

"You hated him," Roman rumbled, chest growing tight. He blew out a heated sigh, looking over into blue orbs, the innocent curiosity plain as day. He was going to kill Seth and his big mouth.

"Oh," Cody whispered, looking away from the intense gaze, his fingers going straight to the strips on his brace. "I didn't mean to…." He trailed off, swallowing hard at the uncomfortable tension that was slowly filling the car. "I just…."

Roman shook his head. He couldn't lie this time. He couldn't just make up another lie to tell Cody. "No, I promised you that I'd tell you anything. Evan and I, we were like oil and water," he started, thinking of just how different him and the other man really were. "We never did mix right no matter how hard we tried, but we refused to give up. We didn't really argue, but we never quite agreed on things. We had great chemistry and the sex was amazing, but that's about all we had."

Cody soaked in the words, wondering why his heart ached to hear them. He knew it wasn't the way Roman said them. There wasn't an ounce of sadness or even remorse in the strong voice. "So, you're just friends now?" he asked, looking up into averted eyes.

Roman nodded with a smile, pressing the button to roll Cody's window up before shutting the car off. "Yeah. He's been with Jake over a year now, and they're pretty happy together. You would've met him, if he could've made it yesterday," he answered, reaching for his door handle and getting out. He walked over to Cody's side, pulling the freshly opened door back so Cody could step out. "Ready?"

Cody nodded, stepping back and letting the door shut behind him. "So, where are we going?" he asked, unable to push the smile from his face. "Because I was thinking some ice cream sounded great on a hot day like today."

Roman let out a genuine laugh, those words so familiar. Him and Cody would normally have the same conversation about ice cream every time they came to the boardwalk. He looked over, Cody's black board shorts contrasting with his blue and white t-shirt. He only let his eyes wander the other man for a moment, knowing that if he stared too long he'd want to do more than look. He looked down at his own mid calf jean shorts and black tank top. He ran a hand over his pulled back hair, starting their journey to the wooden deck, taking in the shops.

Cody smiled, breathing in the sea air, looking over new and old shops, finally stopping at one with a bright blue and yellow surf board to the right of the door. "Let's go in here," he suggested, pointing at the sign.

Roman smirked, shaking his head, reading the sign. '_Uso Surf Shop' _He walked up to the glass door, pushing it open. He felt the cool air inside rush over him and Cody as they stepped in, both breathing in the fresh, filtered air. He could smell the same pineapple and mango incense Trinity burned during the day, giving the entire shop the feeling of being somewhere more exotic.

"Welcome to… Oh it's just you Rome," Josh started, looking up from a rack of swim suits to the left. "Hey, look who you let out of the house. How ya feeling Cody?"

Cody looked around the shop, a large paned window in front with a surf board and mannequins in both bikinis and trunks on display. A few racks of suits lined the far wall, the suits leading into towels and boogie boards with the few occasional larger surf boards. On the other side of the shop was the glass display counter with the register. It held jewelry and other little knick-knacks to be used as keepsakes or souvenirs for the tourists. It wasn't until he felt a warm hand on his shoulder that he even looked up into the bronze face. "Oh, hey," he murmured, knowing the face well from the party, but unsure of which brother it actually was.

"Give him some space Josh," Roman snickered, the evident confusion all too appealing. "Cody this is Josh, he's my cousin. He was at the party yesterday."

Cody nodded. "I remember. Dame pointed him out. You have a twin," he answered, trying hard to etch the face into his memory so he could attempt tell the two apart later.

Josh nodded. "Yep, sure do. Don't know where his lazy ass is right now, but he's supposed to be back sometime soon. You guys shopping or just hanging out?" he asked, looking over to where Trinity was walking out from the back, her long hair pulled back into a ponytail as she flipped through a new catalogue for the shop. "Hey Trin, look who's here!"

Trinity looked up, the look of concentration on her face braking into a giant smile as her dark eyes fell on the two. He tossed the thick catalogue on the counter before rushing over and pulling both men into a tight hug. "It's good to see you out of the house already!" she said, pulling back and looking over the smaller man's pinkened face. "We haven't formally remet. I'm Trinity, Jon's wife."

Cody nodded, taking her hand and give it a small shake. It was better than having his face lodged firmly in between her large breasts. He smiled, her warm face and attitude making him feel more than welcome. He liked her, he liked how she made him feel more like he was apart of her family than just a friend. He let that thought simmer in his mind: being a part of her family. He looked up at Roman, who at that moment was carrying on a pretty easy conversation with Josh. He smiled, really taking in the handsome face, wondering what it would be like to kiss those tanned lips. He shook his head, pushing the thought away.

After a few more minutes of conversation, Roman pulled Cody out of the shop with a relieved sigh. "I didn't think we were ever going to get out of there," Roman chuckled, looking down into the humored eyes. "Just wait, you'll understand. I love them dearly, but man, Josh could talk my ear off."

Cody let out a small laugh, reaching over at lightly tapping his hand into Roman's. He really wanted to just reach over and slide his hand into the bigger one, but it lately seemed like when he touched Roman without his knowledge he jerked away and it made things between them more than a little awkward feeling.

Roman felt his heart jump at the contact. He glanced over, Cody's blue eyes focused on the boardwalk ahead of them, a smile on his lips. He looked back at the way they were walking, chalking the small touch up to them just brushing against each other. He felt it again, this time a little firmer. Once again, he ignored it. A moment later he saw Cody's arm move towards him and he grabbed the smaller hand in his mid swing, his fingers instantly lacing with Cody's. "You could've just asked," he murmured softly.

Cody only shrugged, enjoying the comfort he felt there. They walked further down the boardwalk, only breaking hands when they'd stopped into another little shop for two ice cream cones, Roman's vanilla and Cody's chocolate.

They walked back out to the wooden walk, finding a less crowded area near the pier, both leaning heavily against the wooden railing as they watched the waves roll in. They slowly licked at their cones, neither daring to look over.

"So, you said there's things about you I don't know, tell me some of them," Cody started, taking a bite of the sugar cone once he'd eaten most of the top of his ice cream. He smiled, watching Roman's tongue swirl around the little mountain of cream before looking over at him.

"Depends, there's a lot. We're practically strangers again. What do you want to know?" Roman asked, taking the top of the mountain and biting into it, enjoying the way it cooled his hot mouth. He shivered, swallowing the cool treat, resting his hands on the wooden banister, grey eyes focusing back on the smooth waters.

Cody took a moment to think, nibbling thoughtfully at his ice cream. "Well, not to sound weird or anything, but um…" he paused, wondering how to word what he wanted to say. "Was there anything between us? I mean more than living together?" He could see the muscles in Roman's tattooed arm tighten.

Roman shook his head sadly, sucking his cool lower lip into his mouth, biting it hard. He released the abused flesh with a smile. "Nothing like that," he answered, looking over. "Not that I didn't want it to." He felt a silence take over them, his eyes looking over at slightly shocked ones. "I mean…" Damn his mouth.

Cody shook his head, looking up with a smile. "It makes sense," he started, looking down at his nearly finished cone, taking the last little bit of ice cream out of the cone and looking at the empty shell. "I feel safe with you. I wonder if I ever felt that way about you." He crumbled up the empty sugar cone and dropped it into the water, watching as a few pieces were sucked underwater by passing fish.

Roman tried to calm down, panic still rising in him. "Let's keep walking," he suggested, wanting to get as far away from the conversation as he could. He'd already fucked up and let his own feelings slip. He looked over, Cody trailing along beside him, a thoughtful look on the handsome face. He finished his own cone, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "So, you and Drew?"

"What about it?" Cody looked up, curious as to what Roman wanted to know.

"Are you two back together?" Roman dreaded the answer, knowing that it could easily tear his heart further apart. He felt Cody's hand slip back into his as a soft 'no' escaped the soft lips.

"He wants me to get used to everything again first. Which is okay I guess," he started, stopping them both at the far end of the pier, looking out at the open ocean. "You know, when you asked me in the hospital if I loved him, I don't think I gave you the right answer. I know you two don't like each other, and I don't blame you. He did some pretty shitty stuff to you, but he's not a bad guy."

Roman shrugged, chest tight. He didn't want to hear about another man from Cody's lips. He didn't want to know what Cody was thinking. Most of all, he didn't want to hear about Drew.

"I do love him. I always have, so when he said I was dating someone I didn't understand. Who could've been more amazing than him?"

The words tore are Roman's heart, his fists shaking at his sides, his jaw tight to keep back the hurt that was coursing through him. He felt the warm breeze blow over them, laughs and idle conversation passing around them.

"I'm sorry, I'm just thinking out loud," Cody said a moment later, humming to himself. "Roman?" He looked over, a dark look on the hard face. "Hey, you okay? I didn't mean anything by it."

Roman shook his head, keeping his mouth shut. "'m fine," he hissed, turning his back to Cody, breaking their connected hands and walking back towards the shops.

Cody sighed, knowing he'd hurt Roman's feelings. He hadn't done it intentionally, he'd just wanted to say it out loud, let someone else know what he was thinking. He hurried after Roman, striking up a friendly conversation about the weather.

A few hours went by, the awkwardness of Cody's admission gone as they joked around in the light of the setting sun. They'd shared some of their interests, Roman catching Cody up on some of the latest celebrity gossip that they'd talked about. They were on the white sanded beach, kicking water at each other, most of the other people already gone.

Cody stopped, looking up at the sun as it set right on the water, painting the white crests soft shades of orange and pink. "Beautiful," he murmured, smiling. His eyes wandered over to where Roman was standing his own eyes focused on the orange ball. He bit back a gasp, the dying light washing over Roman, bathing his bronze skin in the orange and pink tones, showing just how ungodly handsome he really was.

He played the day over in his head, they'd spent hours talking about useless things. Cody had soaked up every bit of information like a sponge, never wanting to forget it. He could see why they'd been such good friends. They enjoyed the same music, the same types of movies. But most of all, he could see how caring Roman was. He wasn't over talkative, but he got his point across. Roman was sweet, but most of all, he was funny. Cody could only smile, wishing he could remember if his heart had always beat so fast when he spent time with Roman, or if it was just a reaction to him being the one spending the most time with him. He sighed, wondering if these new feelings would fade as time went on.

"Hey space cadet, you ready?" Roman asked, tapping the less bruised side of Cody's face gently with his hand. "You were spacing out on me. We've gotta get ready to go. Beach closes at dark."

Cody nodded, hooking their arms and letting Roman lead him away from the rising tide and towards their car. Once inside he sighed, arm throbbing slightly. "Thank you," he breathed once Roman had gotten in and started the car. "I really appreciate you spending the day with me."

Roman only smiled. He'd do it again, as many times as Cody wanted. "When ever you want to, just let me know, we'll go," he said, pulling out of the parking lot and into traffic. He listened to the radio, a sense of completion and happiness filling him. Even though Cody didn't remember and they weren't together, it felt nice to still have Cody to himself even if it was only for a little while longer. He knew the inevitable if Cody didn't remember and he couldn't hold it against Drew or Cody for wanting to be together again, no matter how much he hated it.

"Hey turn here!" Cody pointed suddenly, a thought striking him. He directed Roman a few more turns and twists, the night falling around them as they left the city and started down the interstate.

"Where are you taking me?" Roman asked, a little worried about the sporadic directions Cody was giving him, leading them far away from the city and into a more rural area. It wasn't until he saw the dirt road, covered in sparse grass that he knew where they were. He sucked in a breath, Cody telling him to pull over before he nearly jumped out of the car.

"C'mon, we're gonna miss it," Cody yelped, hearing the low whistle. He grabbed Roman's hand, pulling him up a small hill before stopping, two sets of railways at the base of the hill. "Just watch."

Roman stood there, heart pounding harder each time he heard the train whistle, his eyes looking for the black billowing smoke. "Cody," he whispered, his hand tightening around Cody's as the first black and red engine appeared. He swallowed hard, pulling Cody into him, wrapping his arms around Cody tightly. He stood there, eyes closed, listening to the train as it rushed by them.

"You've been here before?" Cody asked, his arms automatically wrapping around Roman's waist, his head resting on a strong shoulder. He took in the strong scent of Roman's cologne. He felt Roman nod, the strong arms tightening even further. "This was my own private spot when I was in high school. If I ever needed a place to think or be alone, I'd come here. I've never shown it to anyone, not even Drew."

Roman only nodded again, untrusting of his voice. He knew if he opened his mouth it would be obvious that he had tears in his eyes. This spot was more than special. It held so many memories of them.

* * *

(A/N): Well, that was a tough chapter to write. I was losing inspiration to write fast and it took me forever to just sit down and force my way through it. So I apologize if it's not as up to par as the others. Oh well. At least, we're getting somewhere with our boys, or well at least I feel like we are. XD Anyway, thoughts? Feelings? Let me know loves! Title is Alone Together by Fall Out Boy.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	10. Dead Memories

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 9.**

**Note: Things are going to get interesting from here! See you Friday! Enjoy loves! -JJ**

* * *

_**Dead Memories**_

_Cody smiled, warm hands cupping his face as soft lips pressed against his. He eased his lips open, letting the hot, talented tongue slip into his mouth. He pulled back from the breathless kiss, allowing the other to catch his breath. He looked up into the dark blur, silent words of endearment floating around him. He breathed in those words, large hands running over his body, pulling him into a tight heat that he never wanted to be pulled from. He reached out, his hands tightening in long hair, pulling them closer together as their lips touched once again._

"_I love you."_

"_I love you."_

"_I love you."_

"_I love you."_

Cody sat straight up in his bed, groaning at the lack of warmth there. He looked around his room, wondering why his head was pounding. It wasn't like he'd drank the night before. Actually, he'd only went out with Drew to dinner, and even then he hadn't had any alcohol. He replayed the night in his mind, the most standout part being the simple kiss he'd gotten when they'd made it back to the door.

He moved to get up, grabbing his brace and pulling it on as the dream settled over him again. He could still feel those hands on him, those words surrounding him, pulling him in deeper to the man holding him. He just couldn't make out who it was that had held him. It had felt so real, so familiar. He shook his head, rubbing his face with his good hand as he strutted out, his shorts riding low on his hips. He smiled, the smell of breakfast once again heavy in the air.

It had only been a week since him and Roman had gone out together but he'd settled into a nice routine with him. Every morning he woke up to Roman making them breakfast. They ate together chatting about their day and what it was going to consist of, then normally they parted ways, sometimes sharing lunch together. It was always a hit or miss with lunch, but most of the time they ate dinner together, laughing and talking about their day and how it either went like they'd planned or completely backfired.

Cody smiled, walking over to where he always leaned against the counter, his eyes watching Roman's strong back, a white tank top covering him this morning, a pair of black and white basket ball shorts hanging low on his hips. He had grown comfortable, his legs stronger, his wrist feeling better and the lump on his mending collarbone starting to shrink. He was on his way to being completely healed, even the bruise he shared with Roman on their chests were quickly fading into nothing.

Physically, he was feeling great. Emotionally, he was still a little unsteady. Him and Roman hadn't talked about Roman's comment at the pier, both finding it easier to just sweep it under the rug and move on. With Drew, he was still confused and slightly impatient. No matter how many times he hinted at them being together, Drew would tell him to wait just a little longer. He was slowly getting irritated.

"A lot on your mind this morning?" Roman asked, looking over his shoulder at the slightly younger male. He smiled, turning back to the fluffy pancakes in the skillet, chuckling at the look of surprise on the handsome face.

"How do you always know I'm here? I swear I'm nearly silent every morning," Cody asked teasingly, throwing his hands up in mock annoyance before letting out a small laugh. "Every single time!"

Roman couldn't help but let out an even bigger laugh, the deep rumble vibrating through his chest as he scooped out the pancakes and placed them on a plate. "Call it a sixth sense or something," he answered, reaching to the left and pouring the last little bit of batter into the pan, reaching over into a bowl and sprinkling the dark items over the circled batter. "The box is for you."

Cody looked to the right, the small cardboard box sitting there. He picked it up looking it over. "What is it?" he asked, looking at the shipping label. He let out a smile, it was from a cell phone provider.

"Your new cell. They called me yesterday saying they were over-nighting it, arrived about an hour ago," Roman explained, glancing over, watching as Cody picked at the tape one handed. He sighed softly, flipping his pancakes and setting the spatula down. He walked over, grabbing a knife from the drawer just in front of Cody on Roman's side of the cabinets and sliced the tape. "That might be a bit easier."

Cody nodded. "Thank you," he murmured, heart still pounding when he saw the white teeth flash at him. He looked down, digging into the box and pulling out his new phone, the same model he'd had from before the accident.

"They couldn't save anything from your old one but the contacts, so you'll have to take new pictures and stuff," Roman explained, walking back over to breakfast, satisfied with how their food looked before slipping it into the plate and turning the fire off. "Ready to eat?"

Cody's stomach growled in response. His mouth watered looking at the chocolate chip pancakes and sausage links. "You spoil me!" he announced, taking his offered plate, his new phone clutched tight in his right hand, which was a little tough with the brace. He made his way over to the table, Roman following behind with a chuckle, holding the syrup and his own plate. "I'm serious, you're going to have to teach me how to cook one of these days."

"But then I won't be able to keep my spell on you. Didn't you know, each meal you eat I'm slowly stealing your soul away," Roman teased, laughing along with Cody. He smiled, their time together getting easier and easier.

He was enjoying things him and Cody hadn't done in a long time, mostly just spending time together talking, enjoying the other's company. He let his smile widen, pouring the syrup over his stack of pancakes and taking a bite, looking over to where Cody was fiddling with his phone, struggling to eat at the same time. "I promise it isn't going to runaway if you eat first."

Cody only smiled, setting it off to the side before looking up a little sheepishly. "I was just looking to see who I did and didn't remember. And I'm a little excited about having it with me. As soon as Damien lets me, I can go back to work. Maybe it'll get me a little closer to normal."

Roman nodded, wondering if that was even possible. He knew that Dr. Del Rio had said at Cody's appointment the day before that there was a chance that the memory loss was permanent. Just the thought sent shivers through his body, the thought of never holding Cody again, never touching that lithe body, their lips never touching. It made his stomach churn uncomfortably.

"Roman?"

Roman looked up, setting his fork down on the once again half eaten food, his stomach protesting the suddenly bitter mouthful. He swallowed hard, forcing it down. "Yeah?" he asked, letting worried eyes roam his face. "What's up?"

"You look pale. You feeling okay?"

Roman nodded, standing. "Yeah, I'm fine," he answered, scraping the left over food in the hidden garbage can right next to the sink before setting his plate inside. "I'm going out tonight with Josh and Jon. So, I won't be home long after dinner."

"Aw, I thought we had a movie date," Cody teased, setting his empty plate in the sink. "You know, you don't have to make dinner every night. I'm pretty good at making noodles and stuff."

Roman smirked, thinking back to the first time Cody had made them dinner. He was surprised to find that it was ramen noodles and grilled cheese sandwiches, but the reason it was most memorable was because it was at the end of the summer right in the middle of a heat wave. He bit back a laugh, shrugging. "I don't mind. Besides, you'll end up pretty scrawny if I let you eat that crap constantly."

Cody's nose scrunched up, giving Roman a goofy, annoyed face. "I happen to like noodles," he retorted, chuckling. He turned away from the other man, stretching upwards as he headed back to his room to change. He turned, his eyes focusing on where Roman was still standing, the strong back tense. He knew there was something wrong with Roman, even if he bigger man wasn't going to admit it.

* * *

Seth smiled, pulling Cody with him down the street. "So, you and Rome getting along okay?" he asked, leading them around a corner.

Cody shrugged. He was still thinking about that morning. He went to say something, stopping when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He reached for it, the name unfamiliar. He opened the message, brows furrowed. As his eyes rolled over the text, he instantly knew that it was Roman that had sent it. "Seth, I need to talk to you a bit," he finally said, tapping back his reply.

Seth looked over, the sudden seriousness in Cody's voice unsettling. "Um… okay… is everything okay?" he asked, tone soft. "What's on you mind?"

Cody pushed his phone back into the hip pocket of his jeans, his blue eyes looking into the dark chocolate ones. "Why do I have Roman's name saved in my phone as 'Ro'?" he asked, many other questions stirring up in his mind. He needed to talk to someone, anyone that wasn't the other male about his past.

Seth stopped in his tracks, jaw tightening. He took a deep breath, letting it loose slowly. He wasn't ready for this. He looked over into the questioning eyes. He bit his lower lip lightly, unsure of what to really say. He didn't want to lie. "It's what you used to call Rome. You're the only one that used it," he admitted, more than a little uncomfortable. "Look, there're some things you should talk to Roman about. It would be better if you heard them from him."

Cody was confused at those words. What did Seth mean by that. He shook his head, looking up to where Seth had led them. His eyes widened at the large tattoo sign. "Why are we here?" he asked, questions temporarily forgotten.

"Oh, I promised Phil, I would stop in. I have to drop off some photos for his and Shannon's portfolios. I think there's a few of Angelina's in there too. I'll show them to you when we get in," Seth explained, pulling open the heavy glass door and stepping into the cool shop. "Hey Ash, where's everyone?"

Cody stepped into the shop, taking in the completely covered walls. He smiled, enjoying the different styles that were around him. He looked up, the ceiling even covered. Slowly, he followed Seth to the counter, looking inside the glass as the different dark grey silicon body parts with several metal piercings in them. He shivered, unsure if he liked those or not.

The petite blond woman behind the counter looked up from her current sketch and smiled. "Hey Seth baby," she greeted, walking out from the back and wrapping her arms around the male. He white blond hair was long under her backwards baseball cap, streaks of black starkly contrasting. A single streak of dark pink ran down the front, spilling over her shoulder. "What are you doing here?"

Cody looked her over, her tang top cropped to hug her large chest, leaving her middrift bare. The top had a deep v cut, giving a view of her cleavage. A silver studded belt wrapped through the loops on her black and pink plaid mini skirt. The long, shapely legs were encased in black fishnet stockings, a pair of belted, thick soled boots covering her feet. She was beautiful. He smiled softly, the light glinting on her twin lip rings, one on either side of her mouth.

"Just dropping some stuff off. Nothing serious," Seth answered, pulling back and holding up the small packet of photos he'd had tucked in his back pocket.

Ashley's attention turned to Cody. "I haven't seen you in here in ages Code," she said, walking over and hugging him. "You gonna let me pierce you up yet?"

Cody shook his head quickly, not wanting any part of him pierced. "No thanks, I'm good," he pushed out quickly, heart pounding.

"Stop teasing him Ash, you know he's terrified of you," Seth teased, smiling at the woman as she pouted at him. "Punk in?"

Ashley cocked her head to the side thinking. "Yeah, he's in the back. Angie's out getting lunch. I'm not sure if Shan's still here or not though," she mused, tossing his head towards the back, giving them the go ahead to go back.

Seth led Cody through the black saloon style swinging doors, leading them back into where three different tables were set up, a small name plaque set up on the long tables. He walked past the hot pink table that had "Angelina" on the wood and the black one right across the large room that said "Shannon" before stopping right in front of the last blue one that read "Punk". "Hey babe," he greeted, wrapping his arms around the man there with his back to him.

The other male jumped, turning and facing Seth, a small smile on his lips once he realized who was there. "Hey Seth," he greeted back, pulling out both ear buds, his olive eyes landing on Cody. A scowl instantly took over. "What's he doing here?"

"Just catching up," Seth answered, knowing the dark tone well. "Don't worry, it's just me and Cody today." He held out the envelope of photos. "I got them printed for you. They're separated by note cards. Shan's are in the middle and Angie's are at the end."

Cody studied the strong face of the other male, his tattooed hands taking the offered envelope and opened it. He felt like he knew the other man, the short, spiked up black hair seemingly familiar, the silver ring on the left side of his lip glinting in the light. He was silent as he looked at the approving look on Punk's face before his eyes trailed down at the tattooed arms.

"They look great, like always," he said, standing and wrapping his arms around Seth. "So, when are you going to let me borrow that camera of yours and do some personal shots for our own photo album?"

Seth flushed, body shivering at the implication. "It's something we can talk about later," he breathed, breathing deep as he took a step back. "I just wanted to drop those off. We still on for later?"

Punk nodded, flicking his tongue over his lip ring, showing the tip of the silver barbell in his tongue. "Oh yeah," he answered, giving an even bigger smirk.

Cody turned, giving the two a minute to say their goodbyes before they left the shop, waving at Ashley as they left. "So, that's your boyfriend?" he asked, the slightly apprehensive look on Seth's face making his gut jump. "He seems nice."

Seth only smiled, he'd confided in Cody once too often in the past about his lover. "He's Phil," he finally said a few minutes later. "So, you had some questions? Let's get some lunch and we'll talk some more."

* * *

_A strong arm was wrapped around Cody's shoulder, Cody's head resting on the other man's chest, the steady heartbeat lulling him as they watched the dark sky together._

_A thunderous boom rattled the ground, the hot sticky air between them vibrating._

_Cody's lips turned up into a bright smile, sitting up and watching as the colors exploded across the sky. "Look!" he gasped, turning back to the black blur of a man, the only thing viable being white teeth from a smile. "Happy Fourth!"_

_The other man sat up, pulling Cody between his strong legs, his bare chest flush against Cody's back, both of their eyes focused on the fireworks as another set exploded in the air. He wrapped his arms around the smaller male's torso, his face nuzzling into the sensitive neck, making Cody squirm and giggle on the grass. _

_Cody could hear loving words float around him, the voice still completely undistinguishable. He sighed, teasing lips easing up on him as they just sat there in silence, the mutli colored fireworks lighting up their happy faces._

Cody groaned, rubbing his eyes as he sat up from the sofa. He looked at the clock on the wall, finding that it was close to one in the morning. He didn't remember when he'd fallen asleep. He'd just been laying there watching a program on tv and suddenly three hours had gone by. His eyes searched the empty room, wondering if Roman had made it home already or not. He stood, a little wobbly from sleep. "Roman?" he called, nothing answering him. He sighed, knowing it meant Roman wasn't home yet.

He made his way into the bathroom, wanting to get a quick shower before he poured himself into bed, thinking that he'd go talk to Damien the next day to find out what day he could come back. He shut the bathroom door, flipping the light on, wincing at the sudden brightness. He turned on the tap, undressing as the stream started to pour from the top of the shower curtain. He stepped in once fully nude and sighed in relaxation, letting his dream run through his mind.

They'd become more frequent. He'd had the first one his second night home, but it was too fuzzy to remember much, if any, of it. He thought about them hard, the same thing consistent: the other person that was with him was completely black and blurred out. He ran a hand over his face, the hot water relaxing his sore muscles. He was a little haunted by them, wondering if they were just dreams or if they were something else. He groaned, shaking his head, water flying around the shower. He thought about what his nurse had said about a therapist. Maybe he should call and set up a preliminary appointment with one, at least get some advice about what his dreams could be.

Cody quickly washed, turning the water off and poking his head out and around the shower to reach into the cabinet and grab a towel. He toweled himself off, wrapping the blue fluffy towel around his waist before stepping out onto the mat. He gathered his clothes and threw them into the hamper in the cabinet. He made sure to grab his phone from his pocket and put his brace back on, before exiting into the hall, a sudden hot, humid breeze running over his shower warmed skin. He looked behind him, watching as Roman stumbled around their living room, his arm thrown around Jon's shoulder, both flushed and laughing loudly.

"Hey, look it's Cody," Jon said, giggling a little as they stumbled to the smallest male. "Just get out of the shower? You know, Rome here could use a good scrubbing."

"Shut it Jon," Roman warned, his eyes half lidded as they ran over Cody. He felt a deep rumble in the back of his throat as he took in the bare skin. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and grab the other male and push him back against the nearest wall. He would easily devour Cody's mouth, hands roaming the perfect body before making sure they were nothing more than a sweaty mass of limbs in his bed. He felt his body react to the images in his mind and he jerked away from Jon, the smarter part of his alcohol drowned brain telling him to go to his room and go to bed.

Jon only swayed a little, smirking at his cousin as he struggled down the hall. "You go Rome!" he called, taking a step back the alcohol suddenly hitting him hard. "I'm gonna… gonna just crash… on the… on the couch."

Cody shook his head, chuckling at the two. He hoped that they hadn't drove back, not when they were both that far gone. He gave Roman a little room to pass, getting a good, strong whiff of the alcohol that was clinging to Roman. His eyes widened, reaching out to grab Roman as he started to tilt too far to one side. "C'mon big guy," he teased, wrapping Roman's heavy arm around his shoulders and leading him into his room. He got to the bed, Roman falling right into it, eyes focused on Cody.

"Thanks babe," Roman breathed, his hand reaching out and taking Cody's in his. "You always take such good care of me." He smiled, heavy lids falling shut. He took a deep breath, the alcohol weighing hard on him, making him sleepy. It wasn't a moment or so later that a soft snore fell from his lips.

Cody stood there a little shocked. Never since he'd been home had Roman called him anything endearing, not even a cute nickname. He felt his heart start to thump rapidly in his chest as he rested Roman's hand on his chest. He took a step back, looking over the other man, his body hot. He groaned, letting his eyes look over the square jaw to his long neck. He wanted nothing more than to lean in and nibble on it. He took another step back, turning his back to Roman and rushing into his room, shutting the door behind him.

Once alone in his room, Cody took a deep breath, looking down at his phone in his braced hand. He flipped open his contacts, his eyes landing on Seth's name. He typed out a quick message and sent it. He sighed, struggling to get dressed, the intensity in Roman's eyes swirling inside of him, the intimate words ghosting over him. He whimpered, shaking his head as he dressed and crawled into his bed, telling himself not to think about it. He looked down at his sent message, rereading it again.

_Meet me at the tattoo parlor tomorrow at noon. I need to talk to you._

* * *

(A/N): Well, another chapter down. I hope you're enjoying! Thoughts? Feelings? Just let me know, I love hearing them! Well, not much to say this time around. Onwards and upwards. Title is Dead Memories by Crossfade.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	11. Actions & Motives

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 10.**

**Note: This chapter is a little NSFW. Just forewarning. See you Monday! Enjoy! -JJ**

* * *

_**Actions & Motives**_

When Cody woke the next morning, he felt nervousness and anxiousness tumbling around in his belly. He'd had the most delicious yet raunchy dream the night before. He knew it was a dream because everyone in it was perfectly clear, but it wasn't the acts in his dream that had him feeling off. It had been who it had starred in his sexy dream. He shook his head, poking his head out his door, looking around before darting into the bathroom. He had to have a cold shower.

Which had led him to where it was at that moment: standing under the cool spray in the shower, his hot body refusing to be soothed into submission. He growled, turning the single silver knob to the left, feeling the water heat up. He groaned, the water running over his chest as he leaned back against the cool surround wall and took his raging hard on in hand. He groaned, quickly starting his movements, hoping that he would be able to finish quickly. Blue eyes slipped shut as his hand moved up his hard length, letting his imagination take over.

_Drew was on his knees in front of Cody, his hot hands resting on narrow hips as a pink tongue darted around parched lips. His dark blue eyes followed every ragged, shallow breath that was barely moving Cody's chest. A slow smirk took over his mouth as he leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to the engorged head._

Cody let out a whimper, his teeth sinking into his lower lip to keep quiet. That last thing he wanted was Roman or Jon overhearing him in the shower.

_Drew's lips parted, letting the velvety skin slowly slip into his mouth, his tongue running over the head, slipping into the slit to get just a taste of the little droplet of pre cum. He groaned, the steady vibrations shooting up Cody's cock, making his shiver._

_Cody hands laced into the thick mane of hair, urging Drew to take more than the head into that hot mouth. He whimpered, Drew taking almost his entire length into his mouth, cheeks hollowing as the once light suction intensified ten fold. He let out a deep groan of approval, his hands tangling in the long tresses. He didn't guide Drew up and down him, just held on, sure that if he let go, he'd float away from sheer pleasure._

_Drew worked hard over the hard rod in his mouth, his eyes focused completely on Cody's as he pleasured him, one large hand cupping his balls, rolling them gently as the other slid behind Cody and grabbing a firm cheek of his ass._

Cody's hips started to move, his body somewhat getting into the daydream. He bit back a groan, wondering why it was taking so long for his body to respond to the visuals he was giving it. He let out a frustrated growl, eyes opening and looking down at his still throbbing flesh. "What the fucks wrong with you?" he heatedly asked, eyes narrowing. "Just do your thing!" He let his eyes slip shut again, letting his mind remain blank as his hand moved slowly over him again.

_Dark eyes looked up from between his legs, a hot, tight mouth wrapped around Cody's cock, taking it fully into his mouth expertly. Long fingers kneaded the cheeks of his ass gently, pulling him in even closer._

_Cody's hips were still as his fingers tangled in the long, wavy, raven hair. His head was thrown back on the pillows, his toes curling at the perfect suction on him. He let out a low groan, hating the cool breeze that ran over his saliva slicked cock. "More," he whimpered, those large hands moving to the backs of his thighs, pushing them forward, exposing his quivering entrance._

_The tanned lips only smirked, the intensity overwhelming in the steel colored eyes. "Don't worry, I'll take care of you," he breathed, lips pressing against the firm thigh just as one slick finger circled Cody's waiting hole. It slipped in to the second knuckle, curling just slightly, running over the tight bundle of nerves that sent Cody into a gasping moan, his once still hips already grinding down for that jolt of pleasure again._

Cody could barely hold back the constant moans of pleasure. His other hand slid down his neck, dull nails raking over a nipple as his hips moved rhythmically with his hand, his body growing hotter and hotter at his fantasy.

_Cody's head fell back, the blunt head of the other man's cock pressing against his entrance. He held his breath, the head slipping into him, stretching him to the fullest, the initial burn radiating through his entire body. He groaned, wrapping his arms around the other man's neck as their lips met in sloppy but meaningful kisses._

_The bigger male's lips moved down the strong neck, nipping and sucking the sun kissed skin into his mouth. "You're so fucking tight baby," he murmured, his hips coming to rest flush against Cody's. "You always are."_

_Cody nodded, blue eyes opening and locking with grey ones. "Don't stop, I need every bit of you," he growled, pulling those lips back to him. The first few thrusts were slow, readying Cody for what was to come. It was the first, deep, bone shattering slam of their hips together that pulled a pleasured scream from his lips. "Fuck, like that, don't let up."_

_The other man obeyed without a word, his body crashing into Cody's over and over again. "We keep this up and I'm gonna blow," he warned, never slowing his rushed movements, his hand reaching between them and taking up Cody's heavily leaking cock, stroking it just as fast._

_Cody nodded, mind fuzzy. He was just as close. "It's okay, I'm about to…" he started, a loud scream falling from his lips as the other man's hips angled just enough to stab right into his sweet spot. He felt the tightening inside of his belly shatter, his cock pulsating between them as his hot seed flew between their sweat slicked bodies, coating them both. "Fuck, Roman!"_

Cody's eyes flew open, hand stilling at the base of his throbbing cock, his release draining from him into the white tub. He breathed hard, resting heavily against the wall, cheeks red not only from arousal but embarrassment that he'd just gotten off to the fantasy of his roommate fucking him into the mattress. He groaned, covering his blazing face with his hands, soaping himself up and rinsing off. He couldn't believe himself.

He pushed it from his mind as he finished his shower and wrapped the towel around his hips. He opened the door, listening hard for any indication that Roman was awake. He sucked in a relieved sigh when all he heard was Jon's deep snores as he hurried back into his room. He dropped the towel, slowly pulling on his clothes, a pair of straight leg jeans and a plain black t-shirt with white writing before pulling his brace on and opening the door. He knew it was still pretty early in the morning, but it would take him at least an hour to get to the tattoo parlor if he walked.

Once he opened his door again, he heard the clanging of pots and pans, then loud heated words. He felt his blood run cold as he tip toed into the living room, looking over to where Roman was struggling to find a skillet in their kitchen. His breath hitched in his throat, the bigger man standing there in only a pair of boxers, which were currently riding extra low on his hips, giving whomever cared to look a little peek of the very beginning of his crack.

Cody swallowed hard around the lump in his throat, blood rushing to his lower regions once again. "D-don't w-worry… about it," he stuttered, hazy, half lidded eyes jerking to look at him. "I'm meeting up with Seth, so don't force yourself to make breakfast."

Roman felt his cheeks heat up, those blue eyes running over his bare chest. He felt awkward, unable to straighten the night before out. It was all so fuzzy in his mind. "About last night," he started, remembering that Cody had helped him into bed. "I don't really remember all of it, so if I said or did some stupid things, I'm sorry."

Cody shook his head, the tender words from the night before wrapping around his heart, sucking the air from his lungs. "Don't worry, it's all good," he replied, eyes unable to meet Roman's, not after his dream and his intimate shower fantasy. He licked his dry lower lip, his eyes trailing down the dark chest, noticing that the seat belt bruise was almost fully gone. He let his sight trail a little lower, a thin line of dark hair trailing from the base of Roman's navel to under the dark blue boxers. He swallowed hard, the sight doing nothing to help his growing erection.

"Cody? You okay? Did I do something wrong?" Roman asked, heart pounding in his chest. Had he made a fool of himself the night before, or worse: say something that would completely tear apart the fragile web he'd woven? "Hey, talk to me."

Cody forced out a smile, shaking his head, his eyes on the floor. "Nope, everything's fine. I'll talk to you later, bye!" he said, turning towards the door and rushing out, grabbing his shoes in his hands. He stopped when he was at the sidewalk, breathing ragged as he pulled on his sneakers. "What the hell is wrong with me?" he asked quietly, rubbing his face with one hand. He had to see Seth, he couldn't wait for noon.

* * *

Seth hurried up to the tattoo parlor, noticing that it wasn't even open yet, but there right next to the door leaning against the brick wall was Cody, his good hand yanking at the Velcro straps of his brace. "Cody, what happened?" he asked, pushing back brown and blond strands of hair from his face. He knew there was something wrong with Cody just by his nervous stance, his eyes narrowed on the concrete. "Cody?"

Cody jerked away from the soft hand that touched his shoulder. "We were friends, right?" he asked, eyes moving up to taken back brown ones. He paused, a dark bruise resting proudly on Seth's right cheek, partially hidden by the brown facial hair. Suddenly, his entire thought process was irrelevant. "What the hell happened?" He reached out, Seth pulling away before his fingers could get close enough to touch the mark.

Seth put on a watery smile. "Just an accident," he breathed, resting the palm of his hand against his cheek. "I wasn't paying attention and ran right into a door last night." He pushed out a humorless chuckle, heart pounding. "So, what happened, what'd you need to talk about?"

Cody wanted to push, knowing that Seth was lying to him. "I need you to do something for me," he said, wrapping his arms around himself, eyes falling to the ground. "I'm having these weird dreams. I don't want Roman to know about it, but do you think you could go with me to this therapist. I called one while I was waiting on you and she said she could fit me in today around one. I know I'm asking a lot…"

Seth shook his head, smiling gently. "Nope, you're fine," he interrupted, reaching out and resting his hand on Cody's shoulder again. "What kind of dreams are they, if you don't mind me asking."

Cody shrugged. "They're so random. I don't want to talk about them right now," he answered, rubbing his upper arms gently, the rough material of his brace scratching him. "But that bruise on your face isn't from a door."

Seth felt his heart sink. He'd hoped that Cody would just drop the subject. "Don't worry about it. It's nothing," he tried to smooth over, shaking his head, running a hand through his hair, pushing the damp locks back. "Don't tell Rome about it."

Cody felt his body heat up. He wasn't going to lie to Roman about it. "I can't promise you that," he muttered, dark eyes focused on him. "If someone's hitting you…."

"Just drop it," Seth growled, heart pounding. He didn't want a lecture that early about a minor bruise. "I'm fine, my face is fine, no one hit me. I ran into a door." His eyes met Cody's, warning him to leave it alone.

Cody's lips pursed as his eyes narrowed. He could see that Seth was one of those people, no wonder Dean had so much trouble trying to read him. "You can't hide it," he started, stopping when he saw the intense fire in those dark eyes.

"You breathe on word of it to Roman, and he'll know about your therapist."

Blue eyes shot open at the threat. "That's really fucking low." He could feel his body start to shake and suddenly, he wondered why he even called Seth. He took a breath, wanting to keep at least the first session a secret. He'd made Roman worry enough already, he didn't want him to have to worry anymore. "Don't use him against me."

Seth suddenly felt guilty, his anger slowly seeping out of him as he slouched against the building, sighing. "Look, I'd never tell Rome anything you didn't want me to. I don't want him to know because as soon as he does Dean'll know and they both jump to conclusions. No one hit me, seriously," he explained, crossing his arms over his chest. "So this therapist, where is it?"

Cody let out a slow breath. "Downtown. I figured it wouldn't take long to walk down there. I'm just…" he paused, taking another deep breath, "I'm scared of what these are. I really want them to be memories, but if they are, I still don't know who's in them with me."

Seth nodded, looking over. "We can drive. I do have a car," he chuckled, tossing his head towards the blue Honda. "C'mon, lets get some breakfast, my treat."

Cody nodded, smiling. "How'd you know I didn't eat before I left?"

Seth let out a chortle. "Because last night Rome was so drunk he called to tell me to feed the fish while he was away on vacation. Roman hasn't had fish since we were kids, and that's because he kills them."

* * *

Cody sat at in the parking lot in Seth's car, heart pounding. He swallowed hard, looking at the radio, the time telling him his appointment was in fifteen minutes. "I should cancel," he mumbled, hands fiddling in his lap. His mind was running in a million places other than where he was sitting and he didn't realize that Seth turned the car off until he heard the driver side door slam shut.

Seth smiled, opening Cody's door and motioning for him to get out. "C'mon, don't be scared, what's the worst that can happen?" he asked cheerfully, leaning against the door as Cody unbuckled his belt and got out. "I'm here with you, and if you need someone to hug, Rome's home. He gives good hugs."

Cody shook his head, a small smile gracing his lips. Yeah, Roman did have nice hugs. He tried to push the memory of those arms around him, how they held him just tight enough, with enough warmth and serenity. He bit his lower lip gently, wondering what the Samoan was doing at home. He had just ran out on him. He hadn't gotten any texts, but then again, he was sure Roman had a lot on his mind anyway with their awkward morning.

Seth pushed open the pane glass door, letting Cody lead him into the large waiting room, chairs lining the room with a large table full of children's toys in the middle. He turned to the corner, two receptionists chit chatting between themselves, stopping only when they noticed Seth and Cody walk up to the glass window.

"Can I help you?" the red head asked, her bright smile charming.

"I have an appointment with Dr. Kim at one," Cody murmured, voice low. He was embarrassed to be there, especially with the way the little old lady in the corner was staring at him and Seth. "I made it this morning."

"Ah, yes Cody Rhodes right?" she asked, tossing her head to the side as she nibbled on the edge of her pinky nail, her other hand scribbling furiously on the paper. "Well, since this is your first visit, we won't need anything, but if you decide to continue seeing Dr. Kim, we'll need you to bring in your insurance information and such. She's a really great doctor though, so I'm sure we'll see you again!"

"Maria!" the male snapped, giving the woman a dark look from his position in front of a file cabinet, his blond hair pulled back into a bun. "Sorry 'bout that. Hope your session goes well. You're all checked in. We'll call you when she's ready."

Cody nodded, turning away from where the two were sending heated words between each other. He caught the name of the blond male as it flew from Maria's lips: Jeff. He was sure he'd see them again, as long as she could help him with these dreams, he'd come to her until she couldn't help him anymore.

Seth scooted a little closer to Cody, the bright blue eyes of the old woman a little unsettling. He went to say something after a few moments, but was left alone when Jeff opened the door and motioned for Cody to follow him. He swallowed hard, nodding at the woman with a nervous smile.

"Such a lovely couple," she hummed, smiling back, making her already wrinkly face wrinkle just a little more. "It's nice to see two young people so caring about the other."

Seth only smiled, barely able to hold back the chuckle that was swirling in the back of his throat. Oh, he'd have to tell Cody about that when he got out. He'd kill to be able to text Roman at that moment and tell him about it.

* * *

Cody sat in the small office on the long lounge chaise, the deep purple material velvety on his skin. He looked across the mahogany desk, little trinkets and papers littering it. His eyes followed the eggshell colored walls, soothing paintings and various diplomas hanging all around the room, a bookcase behind the large desk, filled to the brim with thick books. He suddenly wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to the woman. Before he got a second to think about it again, the heavy wooden door opened and a small Asian woman stood there, a bright smile on her thin lips.

"Good afternoon Mr. Rhodes," she greeted warmly, holding her hand out, her other one holding a manila folder to her chest. "I'm Dr. Gail Kim. You can just call me Gail if that's more comfortable. That's what we both want, so take you time and get comfortable."

Cody tried to smile, but was sure his nerves had messed his mouth up. He took the smaller hand and gave it a firm shake. "Call me Cody," he encouraged, sitting back down on the velvety chaise and watching as the woman walked behind her desk. Her knee length black pencil skirt emphasized her small waist and her bright blue button up shirt gave her smaller chest the perfect little oomph.

"Well Cody, you said you've been having these strange dreams lately. I've been informed by your doctor that you were recently in a car accident and are suffering from memory loss," she rattled off, sitting in the high back chair and opening the folder. "So, where did you want to start?"

Cody shrugged, looking down at the dark blue carpet, sucking his lower lip into his mouth. "I just want to understand what they are. They feel so real, like I'm reliving parts of my life, but in each one some one's always blurred out. I can't even make out the words he says but I know them."

Gail began writing on the paper in her folder, listening carefully to every word. "So, are they just everyday activities like going to the market or are they more personal," she prodded, stopping her hand as Cody's eyes narrowed on her carpet again.

Cody thought hard. Most of his dreams had nothing to do with intimacy, though he was sure some of them had lead up to it. "It depends. Some of them take place at my job, but it's not just going out and paying bills. The most recent one was seeing fireworks. Others I'm just enjoying the warmth of him against me. I've had some where we're doing everyday tasks and others where we're arguing," he went on. "Some are so vivid that I can't get them out of my head, and others are so vague that I can't really remember them when I wake up."

Gail nodded, her pen flying once again. "Do you think these could be suppressed memories?" she asked, the contemplative look on Cody's face making hers relax. "It sounds like this person is someone you're not ready to remember, why else would he be blurred out? Or maybe you're not making the connection between this person and your memories. Three years is a lot of time to cover. You might not have known him before the accident and your subconscious is trying to get you to remember him."

"What would you suggest doc?" Cody asked, looking up into the onyx colored eyes, a smile on her pink lips. "I need to do something because I'm going nuts waking up every morning with them."

"Well, as of right now, get a notebook and a pen. Keep it next to your bed and every night you have these dreams, write them down. If there's someone you can talk about them with at home, may give you some insight on what you may be remembering. But keep a journal of them, we can discuss them individually or a whole next time."

Cody nodded, feeling like a weight had been lifted off of his chest. Suddenly he was happy that he'd made the appointment. Even though they hadn't gotten far, he had a better feeling about things. "Thanks Doc," he breathed, giving a real smile for the first time since he'd entered the office. "Next week?"

Gail nodded, returning his bright smile. "I look forward to it," she said, standing and reaching out to once again shake Cody's hand. "If you ever want someone to sit in on our sessions just let me know. I'll get another chair."

Cody thanked her and made his way back down the hall he'd originally followed before entering out into the busier lobby, two small kids running around with legos. He smiled, walking over to the male at the desk now. "Hey," he started, emerald eyes looking up at him. He noticed that the other male had been doodling. "That's pretty awesome."

Jeff looked down at his sketch of the two kids playing and gave a small smirk. "It's just a hobby, makes the time go by faster. Want me to make you an appointment for next week then?" he asked, pushing the paper away and looking through the large agenda book. "We have an opening at one-thirty next Wednesday, if that works for you."

Cody nodded, setting up the last preparations before turning to where Seth was sitting, playing a game on his cell. "Well, I'm ready," he said, standing right in front of the two toned man. "I hope I didn't take you away from work or anything."

Seth looked up, shutting his game off. "Naw. I was off today," he said, standing and leading them out to his car. "So, when's your next appointment?"

"Wednesday at one thirty."

Seth made a face "I'll be at work, but if you need someone, I can ask Dean to bring you," he mused, wondering if Dean would be able to keep the secret to himself.

Cody shook his head, reaching the door of Seth's Honda and opening it. "I'll make it. If anything, I can ask Drew, or just ask Roman to use the car," he laughed, getting in.

* * *

Dean blew out a heated breath, rubbing his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand, smudging oil and grease across his brow. He hissed at the heat, cursing it as he rolled out from under the car he was under. "The breeze can't even fucking blow?" he asked no one in particular, sitting up from his crawler, setting the socket down as he stood, rubbing his hands against his dirty coveralls. "I'm taking a break!" He reached into the buttoned breast pocket and pulled out his pack of smokes as he left the garage.

The white cylinder hit his lips and Dean sighed, lighting it up and blowing out the off white smoke, the sudden rush of nicotine giving him a feeling of calm. He leaned against the white siding at the back, pulling the smoke from his lips as he felt a very light breeze rush against him, drying the sweat on his skin, cooling him slightly. His eyes closed, taking another deep drag and letting it out slowly through his nostrils, the smoke only tickling him.

"One day that shit's going to kill you."

Dean cracked an eye open, that voice only making his lips turn upwards into a smile. "You've been telling me that for years, what makes you think today's gonna be any different?" he asked with a chuckle, eye closing again.

"I don't. But, just so you know, kissing you after one of those is disgusting."

Dean's eyes flew open, a heat hitting his cheeks. He gave a soft, friendly smile at the other male that was taking another step towards him. "Really? Because if I remember, I didn't even slip any tongue into it," he teased, jerking his hand away when Seth reached for his half finished cigarette. "Hey, don't mess with it."

Seth took a step back, giving up on wrestling the smoke from Dean's hand. "When do you get off?" he asked suddenly, looking down at the concrete.

Dean peered into the garage through the open bay door, eyes narrowing to read the clock. "About an hour or so. What's up?" he asked, taking a final drag before stubbing it out on the concrete and dropping it into the smoker's tower right next to the entrance.

Seth shrugged, unable to say that he just wanted to spend some time with Dean. "I was bored. I figured we could just hang out for a couple hours or something," he mused, hands digging into his pockets.

Dean shrugged, looking over the handsome face, eyes narrowing when he noticed the bruise on Seth's cheek. His muscles tightened, a dirty hand firmly grabbing Seth's chin, turning the beautiful face so he could get a better look. "What the fuck happened?" he asked, voice deadly serious.

"I ran into my bedroom door," Seth whimpered, Dean's strong hands tight on him. "Nothing to worry about." He tried to push out a chuckle, knowing that it wasn't going to help him. "So meet me at the pier around six?"

Dean nodded, releasing Seth's jaw, smirking at the smeared grease on Seth's face. "Sorry," he muttered half heartedly, pulling a red towel from his back pocket and rubbing it against the other man's face. "Didn't mean to get you dirty."

Seth was silent, his thoughts running wild. _I wouldn't mind it_ he thought, cheeks reddening at the thought.

* * *

(A/N): Well, that was a little more than I thought it would be. These dreams haunting Cody, then his erm… fantasy in the shower. Talk about awkward the next morning! But Seth though, good friend right there, but what does he have planned for Dean? Hmm… I guess we'll find out, huh? Also, I didn't come up with the idea of Dean being a mechanic. I fell in love with the idea of him covered in grease and oil from luvcmpunk314's fic "Bad Boyfriend". So super shout out to her! And seriously, if you aren't following her fic, go do it now. It's fucking amazing! Well, let me know what you think! Onwards and Upwards! Title is Actions & Motives by 10 Years.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	12. Hell On The Heart

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 11.**

**Note: Early update because tonight is the Royal Rumble! I plan on being fully glued to my television cheering on our boys! (Roman, Seth, Dean, Cody, and probably half of the other entrants XD. I'm really hoping Drew makes an appearance using his old theme. I'm sick of 3MB to be honest.) Anyway, this chapter is going to be a bit rough, just forewarning you. Enjoy! -JJ**

* * *

_**Hell On The Heart**_

The cool ocean air rushed across Seth's face, the clouds rolling in along with the tide. The darkening grey sky was only making Seth feel anxious as his lower lip receded into his mouth, between his white teeth only for the sharp bones to sink lightly into it. He swallowed hard, looking down at his watch, the time saying that Dean still had a few minutes before six.

He shook his head, closing his dark eyes and resting his hands on the sun warmed banister on the pier. He let the gentle breeze envelope his senses, the over abundant salt in the air stinging his nose when he inhaled, the breeze cooling the little bit of sweat on his brow. He blew out a heated sigh, eyes sliding open as he looked down at the waves, the white crests starting to grow in intensity. His heart was pounding, his mind playing over the last few time he'd been with Dean. They hadn't spent any time alone since Cody's welcome home party two weeks prior.

_Seth smiled, his hand being held a little tighter as Damien made a less than friendly comment before walking away. "You have to be nicer to him," he joked, biting back a chuckle at the way Dean blew the other man off completely. "Where else are you going to find books?"_

_Dean's face lit up again. He shrugged nonchalantly; still a little embarrassed that Seth had found out his secret. He'd been buying books for Seth for years, searching for ones that would really interest Seth and help him become a better photographer. He'd made Cody swear to never tell the other man, not after the countless hours he'd spent at the store confiding in him. "There's other stores," he muttered, pulling Seth a little closer to him. "I wanted to talk to you."_

_Seth cocked his head to the side, ready for whatever it was that Dean needed to say. "What's up?" he asked, heart starting to pound as his brown eyes rested on the pink lips. He wanted nothing more than to lean in and press a soft kiss back, but knew better than to do so. Dean had told him to "take it for what it was", meaning that he was probably just a passing interest to the older male._

_Dean looked down at their feet, unsure of how to start. "Punk didn't show up," he breathed, his gaze moving back up to the dark eyes. "Where is he this time?"_

_Seth felt a heated sort of frustration settle in him. "At the shop, where else would he be?" he asked, eyes narrowing just slightly. "I don't want to talk about him again."_

"_Why are you still with him Seth? He's no good for you."_

_Seth tightened his hand around Dean's before tugging it free. "He loves me Dean. Not like you can talk with all the people you've taken home just to fuck."_

_Dean's eyes narrowed, the fire in Seth's eyes only making him that much more irritated with their conversation. "They knew what I wanted from the beginning. I didn't just string them along."_

_Seth took a step back. "Like you do to me?" he heatedly muttered, jaw tightening. "First you kiss me, then you treat me like it never mattered!" He was breathing hard, a shocked but angry look on his best friends features. "That's what I thought."_

_Dean stood there, the dark look on Seth's face only making him breathe out a hot breath. He turned, shaking his head. How was he supposed to deal with Seth when they were both like that? He walked in one direction, knowing Seth was doing the same in the opposite one._

He sucked in a shallow breath, eyes narrowing on the waves. He hadn't meant what he'd said to Dean. In reality, he'd been the one leading Dean on for all those years. He'd been the one with the secret love and he'd been the one to settle for someone else. He sighed, thinking of the man he was with.

He loved Phil, he really did. They'd been perfect when they'd gotten together. Phil had been that perfect mixture of bad boy and the guy you'd take home to meet your mother wrapped up in one package. He was good looking, and he was sweet, not to mention beyond funny and fun to be around.

But all that had changed over their years together. Some how, some where in time, Phil had changed. He went from being perfect to being possessive, and somewhat mean. They'd broken up several times before, normally over something stupid and after some time to cool down, one or the other would come back with an apology. That's how it had always been.

"You look like you're thinking pretty hard there," Dean teased, walking up to stand right next to Seth, leaning heavily on the wooden railing, his blue eyes looking out at the unsteady waves. "What's on your mind?"

Seth shook his head. He didn't want to discuss Phil, not when he knew it would only lead to an argument. "Nothin' really, just watching the ocean," he answered, a small smile gracing his lips as he looked over at Dean. His smile widened, genuine happiness spreading across his face. "Ready to get out of here?"

Dean smirked, nodding. "Am I following you?" he asked, standing straight, tucking his hands in his jeans pockets.

"Not unless you want me to run," Seth chuckled, looking over to find the surprised look on Dean's face.

"You walked all the way here? You live like three miles away," Dean announced, wondering how Seth could just take off like that. "You're nuts Rollins."

Seth only smiled. "I had a lot on my mind. A little walk was helpful," he explained, nudging shoulders with Dean. "How was work?"

Dean groaned, hands aching. "Dirty and tiresome. Like usual." He ran a hand through his hair, pushing his bangs back, his other arm stretching upwards to rid his back of the lingering tension. "I'm still sweaty. I didn't get a chance to get a shower before I came up here."

Seth chuckled. "Did you want one?"

Dean shrugged. "Depends, do you want to wait thirty minutes?"

Seth shrugged back. "I don't mind waiting. I'll just crash on your couch or something." He bumped into Dean again, earning a strong arm around his neck, pulling him in. "Oh gross, you smell terrible!" he teased, pushing Dean away from him, the strong scent slamming into him. Truthfully, he liked how Dean smelled after work. Something about the masculinity and hard work attracted him.

"That's what a man's supposed to smell like!" Dean boasted, laughing as he released Seth. "We don't wear that pretty perfume for men shit." He laughed hard, Seth punching him in the arm. "Keep it up pretty boy, you're gonna end up in the ocean by the end of the night."

Seth only smiled. "If I wanted to get wet, I could do that at home by myself."

Dean tried to ignore the implication of those words. "Why would you do that when you have Punk?" he asked, a deep pit of jealousy starting to bubble in the pit of his stomach. He'd dreamed of touching that perfect, sun kissed skin on several occasions.

"He's out with Shan and Angie. I didn't want to be alone," he answered, waving his hand in the air, showing that it wasn't of much importance.

"So I'm just a second option?" he asked, feigning hurt. "I'm wounded. I thought after all these years we had something special."

Seth laughed, telling Dean, "It wasn't like that" before they wondered up to Dean's truck.

* * *

Seth was laying back on Dean's couch, petting the white cat that had decided that she liked him and curled up next to his chest. His fingers ran through her soft fur, smoothing down the already silky coat, a gentle purr filling his ears. He liked Dean's cat. She was probably the only thing that could put up with Dean. He chuckled, his hand moving to scratch under her chin, the mismatched eyes on him. "You're the sweetest cat I've ever met Mox. Why you stick around I'll never know," he murmured, looking into the furry face. He looked over the blind blue eye, a deep scar running down the center from the top of her head down past her chin, the other green one lazily looking over Seth's face.

"I rescued her, that's why she's here," Dean said, walking over to where Seth was laying and sat down on the edge of the sofa. "Hey Moxley." He cooed at her, the cat instantly standing and crawling into Dean's lap, her head brushing along his bare chest. "We're one in the same. We understand each other."

Seth smiled, looking from the damp hair, down Dean's gentle face. He loved that face, more than he wanted to admit. He didn't dare let his eyes wonder over the toned chest, knowing he'd only want to reach out and press his skin against Dean's. He didn't have look down to know that Dean was only wearing a pair of sweat pants.

"You okay down there?" Dean asked, pausing at the confused look in Seth's eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Seth shook his head, sitting up and scooting back so that the armrest of the couch was against his lower back. "Nothing," he murmured, pulling his knees up to his chest, resting his cheek against them. He didn't want to admit that he was thinking about Dean. He closed his eyes, thinking about their kiss then their argument at the party. There was no way Dean could feel the same as him, not after being with Phil so long. He blew out a sigh, chocolate orbs opening and looking around the living room, the tv off, but the light next to him on.

"Hey," Dean tried again, gently pushing Moxley from his legs and leaning over, his hand touching the soft bearded cheek, careful not to touch the still angry looking bruise. "Seth, talk to me."

Seth shook his head, refusing to look up into the worried blue eyes. "Are you hungry?" he asked, changing the subject. "I don't want to go home so, I thought we could get something to eat."

Dean sighed, letting his annoyed cat get back in his lap. He gave her head a few good strokes, the purring growing louder. "You and Phil get into it again?"

Seth shrugged, not wanting to answer the question. He heard Moxley as she jumped down to the hardwood floor, the couch shifting as his cheek was cradled in a rough hand again. "I don't want to talk about it Dean," he growled, looking over into the worried blue eyes. He felt his heart lurch in his chest, his body unfolding before he crawled over Dean, pushing him back against the cushions, Dean's head resting on the opposite arm.

Dean laid there, his hips awkwardly placed on the couch, one cheek of his ass hanging off. "Seth?" he questioned, the smaller male crawling to straddle his legs, Seth's hands slowly touching his smooth cheeks. He felt a shiver run through him as Seth leaned in, pushing their lips together in a soft kiss.

Seth felt himself relax in the chaste kiss, one of Dean's arms wrapping around his waist, the other winding in his pulled back hair, pulling him even closer to Dean. He gasped, a hot tongue sneaking into his mouth, the overwhelming taste of mint taking over.

Dean tightened his arms around Seth, pushing him back so he could sit up, their chests flush against the other. His eyes were closed as he let his tongue slowly roam around Seth's mouth, taking in every taste he could, memorizing every nook and cranny.

Seth felt hot, his hands shaking as they wound in the short blond hair. He pulled back, resting his forehead against Dean's, brushing his lips lightly against the pink ones. He didn't dare say a word as his arms left from around Dean's neck, his hands grabbing the hem of his t-shirt and pulling it up over his head. He took one of Dean's hands and pressed it against his pectoral, the heat from that hand burning his skin.

Dean looked up into dark eyes, his fingers running down Seth's chest and taut belly before coming to rest on a narrow hip. "What are you doing?" he asked, mouth dry, throat constricted. If he pinched himself, he was sure he'd wake up and seeing Seth like that, would be nothing more than another dream.

"This is what you want, isn't it?" Seth asked, leaning in to kiss Dean again, this time being evaded.

Dean looked at Seth incredulously. "I don't want just your body Seth," he growled, pushing the other man off of his lap. He stood from his spot and rubbed his face with one hand, the other sliding though his hair nervously. "I know I'm shit at saying these things, but this isn't what I want from you."

Seth sat there, a little surprised. "Then what do you want Dean?" he asked, clutching his shirt in his hands, the bitterness of rejection filling him. "Just use me like you use everyone else you bring home."

Dean growled, grabbing the nearest item, which happened to be a heavy glass ashtray, and threw it against the far wall, it shattering on impact. "You're not just some fuck to me Seth!" he yelled, huffing in anger. He opened his mouth, stopping when he saw the first tear roll down the bruised cheek. He bit his lip, knowing that at that moment, he was no better than Phil. "You should go home."

Seth nodded, running the back of his hand across his cheek, pulling his shirt on before hurrying out the door. He didn't even look back until he was a block away, his dark eyes falling on Dean's truck. He bit back a sigh, knowing he'd just fucked up things between him and Dean, and at that moment, he wasn't sure if there was any way of fixing it.

Dean stood with his eyes transfixed on the wooden door. His heart was pounding in his chest. He'd had the opportunity to say it. He'd been right there. Seth had been right in front of him and the chance was right there in the palm of his hand to get out his true feelings and he… he had completely fucked up and missed it. He groaned, Moxley brushing against his leg. "I fucked up bad Mox," he whimpered, sitting down on the couch, letting the white fluff ball sit in his lap.

* * *

Cody stood in front of the mirror, looking over himself one more time, making sure that he hadn't missed any stubborn stubble. He smirked, thinking he looked pretty damn fine and he felt a lot better. He hadn't seen Roman when he got home, but the text he'd gotten inviting him to dinner with Drew had put the bigger man off his mind. He strutted to his room, pulling out a nice pair of black slacks and a black and white button up shirt, that he casually left untucked with the first two buttons undone. He looked himself over, smiling at the results before walking out into the living room, toeing on his shoes.

It wasn't long before he heard the doorbell and him and Drew were off, both laughing and talking. The quick drive led them to a relatively nice restaurant that wasn't overly fancy but still nice.

Drew led Cody in, the smaller hand warm in his. He was almost sorry to let it go once they were seated. "So, I haven't talked to you much the last two days, what's been going on?" he asked, sipping at his water, his dark blue eyes refusing to leave the cheery face. "You seem happier."

Cody nodded, smiling. "I am. I don't want you to think any different of me though," he started, wanting to confide in Drew about what was going on.

"Why would I ever do that?" Drew asked, his curiosity strong.

Cody fiddled in his seat, a little uncomfortable. "I saw a therapist today about my memory," he started, the slightly surprised look on Drew's face doing nothing to comfort him. "I've been having some strange dreams and she thinks that they might be some memories that I just can't place."

Drew nodded, listening intently, trying hard not to show the growing anxiousness. He swallowed hard, knowing fully well that Cody might be on the edge of a break through. "So, your dreams, are they good?" he asked, more or less attempting to tease Cody.

Cody smiled, shrugging. "Depends on the dream. Some of them, I'm really happy in, other's I'm screaming. But there's always someone blurred out and I can't hear him. Like the one I had yesterday, I was wrapped in his arms watching fireworks. I've never felt so complete like I did. I just don't know if they're just dreams," he explained, playing with the edge of his cloth napkin.

Drew felt his heart pound. He took a gulp of his water, wondering how much longer he'd have to keep up his charade. He was trying to keep from getting hurt, knowing that just as soon as Cody had his memories back, that he would return to the other man's arms. "Well, if you need me, I'm here anytime," he murmured, looking down at the table, biting back the want to tell Cody that he was dreaming of the Samoan man.

Cody shuffled in his seat, looking down at his brace. "I know it's asking a lot, but please don't tell Roman. He's got enough going on. I don't want him to know about this," he asked, looking up meekly.

Drew nodded, unable to deny Cody's gentle question. He sighed, letting their conversation run over other topics all through dinner before both were back in his car, just driving around the bright city, taking in the lights and passing people.

"Hey Drew, you remember that place we used to go all the time when we first got together?" he asked suddenly, tightening his hand around Drew's. He earned a slow nod. "Let's go there again, for old time's sake."

Drew swallowed hard, taking the next right and leading them to the same little park they used to find themselves hanging out all the time. He pulled into the parking lot and turned the car off, the surrounding the same as they'd always been, a small playground that closed at dusk and the walking trail that led them through a small habitat protected wood, and a large flower garden. "Why are we here?"

Cody only got out of the car, motioning for Drew to follow him. "C'mon!" he called, running down the concrete path, over the short wooden bridge and into the woods. He looked back, Drew' trying hard to catch up, his long hair flying behind him, flapping from side to side in it's traditional tail.

Drew flew up, wrapping his arms around Cody once they stopped, both looking out into the field of flowers. "It hasn't changed at all," he murmured, the tall sunflowers swaying in the breeze, the other wild flowers around them perfuming the air as they swayed.

"I'm comfortable at home," Cody said, turning to Drew, his hands shaking in front of him. "I know it's only been a week or so, but I don't care about what else I'm missing out on. I'm happy right here with you and I don't want to waste this chance. Drew, I love you."

Drew felt his body grow hot, heart pounding. He'd hoped he would have a little more time or at least for some of Cody's memories to have come back. He looked down into the light blue orbs, pulling Cody into him. He closed his own eyes, the other man's hands fisting in the back of his black dress shirt. He wanted to say yes, and at that moment he couldn't think of any other way to stall. "I love you too," he murmured back, eyes closing as he pulled Cody in even closer.

Cody smiled, pulling back just enough to push up on his toes to kiss Drew gently. "Is that a yes?" he asked, his good hand moving up to touch the smooth cheek of the Scot. "Please say it's a yes Drew. I want to make you happy again."

Drew nodded, unable to speak. He'd gotten his second chance that he'd been hoping and praying for. It was right there in front of him, begging him even. He wasn't going to let Cody slip away again, even if it meant that in the end, he would be the one hurt. His lips crashed into Cody's, his tongue pushing into the hot mouth, tasting the sweet wine from dinner still on the other man's tongue. He wanted Cody, at least for a little longer, consequences be damned.

* * *

Cody felt like he floating when he opened the door, a broad goofy smile, one that was hard to remove, covering his lips. He dropped his shoes at the door, letting out a giggle, his lower lip bitten between his teeth. While him and Drew had only made out a little, it had felt amazing. He fell back on the couch, his legs bent over the arm, smiling brighter.

"A good night?" Roman asked, poking his head from around the corner where he'd been in the kitchen, making himself a snack. "What's with the goofy smile? What did Seth and you do all day?" He was feeling better from his awkward morning, the few hours of sleep he'd gotten after Cody left doing him a lot of good. "Cody?"

Cody turned his head, smiling at Roman, bringing his hands up to his face before tossing them back, completely unphased by the small shock of pain in his still fractured wrist. "He said yes," he breathed, the confused look on Roman's face only making his smile grow. "Drew. He's letting us try again. I'm really happy."

Roman's heart stopped in his chest, his curious look falling into shock. His jaw tightened, the glass saucer that had been in his hand falling and shattering against the floor. He didn't even flinch as a few shards slammed into his bare calf. "Oh," he murmured, hurt flooding him. He looked down at the shattered plate with his half eaten sandwich on the ground.

Cody sat up, looking down at the mess. "Hey, you okay?" he asked, getting up, taking a few steps closer.

"Just stay back!" Roman snapped, grabbing at the shards and gathering them up in his hands. "Don't come near me!" He felt a shard slice into his palm, but the pain was nothing compared to what he was feeling in his chest. He hurriedly cleaned up the mess before reaching for his keys and shoes, heading right to the door. He needed to get away. He couldn't be there with Cody. He just couldn't. He pulled the door open, ignoring Cody's worried calls as he got into his car and turned it on, the first tear rolling down his cheek as he pulled out of the driveway. He swallowed hard, choking back the pain as best as he could.

He reached into the pocket of his basketball shorts, looking for someone, anyone to talk to. His eyes landed on Jay's name and he bit his lower lip. He didn't want to see his family and he didn't want to see Dean or Seth. He pressed the call button, listening to the first few rings.

"Hello?"

"Jay, it's Roman, are you busy right now?"

There was a pause on the other line, the ruffling of clothes evident. "No, just sitting on the couch watching TV. What's up?"

Roman took a deep breath, another tear sliding freely down his cheek. "Can you meet me somewhere? Anywhere's fine. I just need someone to talk to," he admitted, the built up tears in his eyes blurring his vision. "If you can't I understand."

"Tell me where you want to meet up at, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Roman gave a soft, watery smile. "How about the boardwalk. There shouldn't be a lot of people."

"Be there in fifteen minutes."

* * *

Roman waited at the pier, his hands still shaking as they tightly held the railing. The waves were crashing against each other hard, a low rumbling of thunder in the distance. He groaned, resting his forehead on his hands.

"You look like shit," Jay said, walking up, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. "What the hell happened? I finally get a call and you're like this." He looked the other man over, suddenly worried. "Roman? Hey."

Roman looked up, face dry but inside a jumbled mess. "You were right, just like my cousins and friends. I fucked up telling Cody that we were just roommates," he murmured, dull grey eyes meeting the light brown ones. "When he woke up, he was missing everything between us and I wanted him to come back without having to worry about what we were or where we were going. I thought it would be easier but all he remembered was his ex. That son-of-a-bitch must not have had enough fun fucking me over three years ago."

Jay stood there silently, watching as Roman went on, dark hands running over the handsome face. He wanted to reach out and somehow comfort Roman, knowing that this had to be tearing him up even further than he was letting on.

"It's my own fault. I lied to him. I let it go on, hoping that he would just wake up and remember one day. It's my fucking fault that I lost him," he muttered, the once rising anger slowly starting to seep away. "If it were anyone else, I wouldn't be so angry, anyone but Drew." He sighed, looking back out at the water, able to see the rain in the distance as it crashed into the sea.

Jay rested a hand on a tattooed forearm, leaning in so that they weren't far apart. "Sounds like you need a drink, then you can tell me everything," he eased, smiling gently. "C'mon, I'll drive."

Roman looked over, really taking in the tired looking features. "Did I wake you up?" he asked, suddenly feeling ashamed of just dumping everything on Jay. "Shit, I'm sorry, I wasn't even thinking. I just called the first person I knew that wouldn't do the 'I-told-you-so' shit. Do you have work tomorrow?"

Jay smiled, shaking his head. "I'm on vacation this week. C'mon, I'm glad you called, even if it is around midnight," he chuckled, hooking his and Roman's arm, leading him away to his car.

* * *

(A/N): Well, if the title doesn't say it all. So, a little bit on Seth and Punk's relationship. Believe me, we'll see a lot more of it soon. Dean and Seth are on the rocks, Cody and Drew are together. And poor Roman's heartbroken. *sadface*. And introducing Moxley the cat, whom I'm in love with. XD Well, thoughts? Let me hear them loves! Onwards and Upwards Title is Hell On The Heart by Eric Church.

JacktheSinister_JakethJust


	13. Days Go By

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 12.**

**Note: So, the Royal Rumble... let's not speak of that travesty... I'm not so much upset that Roman lost, I'm more pissed off that Batista won. He's been gone for 4 years and out of all the talent that deserved a shot at main eventing Wrestlemania, they give it to that sap... yeah, forget that... Also, I was on edge over the tension between Dean and Roman and poor Seth got caught in the middle... On another note, next chapter is going to be a wild ride. See you Monday! -JJ**

* * *

_**Days Go By**_

Cody woke the next morning to the loud crashing of pots and pans. He groaned, getting up and walking out into the kitchen, finding that it wasn't Roman. "Trinity?" he asked, rubbing his eyes with a fist, wincing when he realized he'd forgot to put his brace on. "What are you doing here so early?"

The dark skinned woman smiled, looking at the small male who was standing there in a just a pair of boxers. "Well, good morning to you too sweetheart," she chirped, turning back to her task. "Roman asked me to come by and make you breakfast since he was busy."

Cody cocked his head to the side, heart rate increasing. "But we always have breakfast together," he murmured, walking a little closer, leaning heavily against the cabinets. "He promised."

Trinity paused, noting the sad note in Cody's voice. She'd already talked to Roman that morning about the news from the night before. She bit her red painted lower lip gently, telling herself not to say anything. She'd already agreed a long time ago to let Roman handle this in his own way. "You know, I heard you had a new boyfriend," she said, trying to force as much happiness into her voice as she could.

Cody nodded, heart warming in his chest. "Yeah," he answered softly, a broad smile resting on his lips. He thought about the night before, how wonderful it was to be able to have a second chance with Drew. "Maybe Roman'll make his move too. I know he has feelings for someone too. He deserves to be happy too."

Trinity felt her body tighten as she stepped away from the top cabinet, a glass in her hands. "Look, Cody," she started, breathing out a sigh, once again biting her lip. "Do me a favor, okay?"

Cody cocked his head to the side, waiting to find out what it was that Trinity wanted from him. "Okay? What's up?" he asked, crossing his arms on the counter and resting his head on them, his blue eyes meeting her lovely brown ones.

She took a step closer, setting the glass in front of Cody before crossing her arms over her chest. "Roman's not as strong as he makes himself out to be. His heart's really fragile," she murmured, taking one of Cody's hands in hers. "Please don't break it anymore than it already is."

Cody straightened up, giving her a confused look. "What do you mean?" he asked, the warm hands leaving his as Trinity returned to her task of making breakfast. "Trinity?" He refused to let her leave him hanging like that. "What did you mean?!"

Trinity shook her head. "I can't tell you Cody. It's something you and Roman need to talk about," she snapped back, her voice still calm and gentle. "He's already hid enough from you."

Cody stood there in shock, mind going ninety to nothing. "Like what?" he asked, his tongue running over his dry lower lip, his heart pounding. What exactly was Trinity trying to tell him? What did she mean?

"Talk to Roman."

* * *

Cody sighed, placing another book on the self. It had been almost a month since he'd spoken to Trinity that morning. He hadn't had the chance to really talk to Roman about much of anything. They ate breakfast together like they had before. They acted like nothing had changed, like Roman hadn't ran out of the house after finding out about him and Drew. But that was normally the only little bit of time he had with the other man.

He'd started back at work a few days after that, making their lazy mornings a lot more rushed, sometimes to where he only had a few minutes to actually talk to Roman as they ate. He enjoyed the distraction though. He ate his lunches at work, all except on Thursdays when he went out with Drew.

He thought about Drew, they'd been back together for nearly a month, and his feelings hadn't moved. They didn't grow, nor did they dissipate, they were at a stand still. He blew out a sigh thinking about it. They'd went out a couple of times to either a movie or dinner but things never escalated past kissing, not that he minded. He wanted to take their relationship slow, enjoy each other's company before they jumped back into bed together.

It made him think back to Roman, how most nights he wouldn't see the other man until late, if at all. On a rare occasion the Samoan man would be sitting at the table, papers spread out in front of him. He'd asked what they were, Roman only giving him a soft answer of "lesson plans". They still would spend the occasional night in together, normally watching a game on tv with popcorn, or a movie. But they hadn't spoke seriously, and Cody couldn't bring up what Trinity had said to him.

Cody looked down at the next book he was supposed to put away, frowning when he realized he was in the wrong isle. He looked up, the store pretty well empty. He set the book down on the cart and started towards his next destination.

He'd only seen Roman smile when he looked at his phone, which only seemed to annoy him, though he wasn't sure why. The only time he'd gotten Roman's full attention was his birthday. They'd ate cake for breakfast, spent the day out chatting about less than important things, mostly Cody going back to work and Roman's new sets of classes that he was going to be teaching that fall. Roman had gotten him a watch, a really nice silver one, which was currently sitting on his wrist, and they'd gone to pick out Cody's new car, since the insurance company had it in their contract to replace the totaled one.

That afternoon, Roman had treated him to coffee and lunch before they went home so he could get ready for his early dinner date with Drew. It was then that Roman's smile had fallen and the air between them was thick. When he'd gotten home, Roman was sitting on the couch, phone in hand a bright smile on his lips.

Cody was growing tired of Roman's phone. He just wished he could understand what it was that had him irritated at the person that had stolen Roman's attention. He shook his head, knowing that he shouldn't be thinking that way.

He knew that Roman had had feelings for him at one point in time, but neither of them had acted on it and he was with Drew. That's who deserved all of his attention, but he was finding it increasingly harder to focus on his boyfriend, especially after what Trinity had said about Roman's heart.

He stopped the cart, growling when one of the wheels got stuck. "Fucking piece of shit," he cursed under his breath, kicking the edge of the cart, wincing at the pain. He bent down, both hands working on freeing a loose bit of carpet string. He stood up, tossing the offending item into the cart, glad that he'd finally been able to take his brace off completely.

"You sound frustrated today."

Cody looked up, a soft smile settling on his lips. "Hey Dean, haven't seen you in a while," he murmured, resting both hands on the metal cart. "Looking for more photography books?"

Dean felt his heart lurch, his lower lip falling victim to his teeth. "Naw," he breathed, scuffing the toe of his shoe on the carpet. "I haven't talked to Seth in a while. I don't think I'll be in looking for those kinds of books anymore."

Cody was wide eyed, looking the other man up and down. He noticed the dark circles under Dean's blue eyes, the light stubble on his face. His slightly curly hair was disheveled, like Dean hadn't felt like brushing it that morning. "You look rough, what happened?" he asked, maneuvering the cart around Dean so that he could finish up. "Walk with me."

Dean nodded, following, his hands sliding into the pockets of his jeans. "I fucked up," he muttered, blowing out a deep breath, sucking in a shallow one. "I fucked up bad." He looked up into the soft blue eyes, taking in how gently they were set on him. He sighed, looking around the store before telling Cody what had happened. He blew out a heated breath at the end, wide eyes resting on him.

Cody took a deep breath, realizing that it had been over a week since he'd heard from Seth at all. He looked down at the carpet, unsure of what to say. "Yeah, you fucked up," he whispered, looking back up into the pained face. "I don't know what to say here Dean."

Dean nodded, biting his lower lip. "Have you talked to him? I tried texting him a few times but he hasn't answered, not that I blame him," he murmured, keeping his voice low as another customer passed by. "Has he talked to Roman?"

Cody felt a jolt run through him, unsure of who Roman had been talking to. "I… I don't know," he answered, hands shaking. "We haven't really been talking." He saw the confusion in shock evident in Dean's face. "He's been glued to his phone."

Dean nodded, remembering Roman talking about Jay, a new friend that he enjoyed talking with. "Oh, Jay, yeah, he told me about him. Rome said he was pretty cool guy," he mused, more than a little shocked at the dark look that had taken over Cody's face. "So, what've you been up to then?"

Cody shrugged, setting the book on the self, pushing the nearly empty cart down the isle a little further. "Dating," he answered honestly, looking back into a shocked face. "What? Do I have something on my ass?" He turned, looking his front over then his back, wondering why Dean was looking at him like he was.

"Dating who?" Dean asked, nervously chewing at a fingernail, the sudden need for a cigarette strong. He followed Cody down the isle a little further, watching as he put a few more books on the shelves. "Cody?"

"Drew and I got back together almost a month ago, I'm kinda surprised Roman didn't tell you. You and him are best friends," he said, looking back into the nervous blue eyes. "What? What aren't you telling me?"

Dean shook his head, taking a step back. "Nothing, just standing here. But I uh… I gotta get to the shop, I'll see you later," he said hurriedly, pulling out his phone as he left, looking back only for a second. He held the phone to his ear, listening to the ringing. "C'mon, Rome pick up." He was growling at the phone as held it between his cheek and shoulder, his hands fighting to get into his shirt pocket for his smokes. He lit one up, blowing out the smoke just as soon as he heard the voicemail pick up. "Roman, fucking call me back. We need to talk."

* * *

Roman chuckled, walking along side the blond as they made their way down to the hospital cafeteria. "Sucks that you can't leave for your lunch," he mused, crossing his arms over his chest. He looked over, Jay only shrugging.

"I barely get back on time if I leave, so this is always a better idea. The food's not so bad once you get used to it though," Jay answered, leading them into the large cafeteria, walking right in and grabbing a tray. "Don't get the pizza, ever. No matter what kind it is, the crust always tastes like wet cardboard."

Roman only smiled. He knew all to well from his stay there. He followed behind Jay, picking up a few different kinds of fruits and a yogurt before walking over to the register. He paid for both his and Jay's, much to the other man's protests and followed him to sit at a booth. "It's the least I can do, you've been putting up with me bitching about Cody all month."

Jay shrugged, shaking his head. "I don't mind, and it's not like we don't talk about other things too. Actually, I really enjoy talking to you," he admitted with a chuckle. "You're a pretty cool guy, I'm glad I gave you my number."

Roman felt his heart twist uncomfortably in his chest. "So, you never told me how your dating life was going," he brought up, opening his yogurt and taking a bite. "You ever get what's-her-name to agree to go out with you?"

Jay shook his head. "Naw, she's dating someone, though she could've told me that before I spent all that time trying to ask her out to dinner," he laughed, biting into his sandwich. "So, I know you said that you weren't really looking for a relationship when you left, but now that Cody's erm… seeing someone else, what are you gonna do?"

Roman sighed, shrugging. "I'm not interested in dating. I spend more time avoiding Cody than I do anything else. I don't want to hear about him and Drew but I'm not ready to put myself out there. I still love him, ya know, it's just hard telling myself that he's not the Cody I know."

Jay nodded, looking the bigger male over. "I have some friends that might be interested if you, ya know, just want someone to blow some steam off with," he suggested, looking down at his food.

Roman let out a low, rumbling laugh, shaking his head. "Thanks, but no thanks," he answered, the light brown eyes on him again. "I think I can handle that on my own for now. I'll get over him eventually, but right now, I just want to take some time to myself and get my head straight. Classes start up next month and I need to be able to concentrate."

Jay nodded, taking another bite. "I can understand that," he mused, opening his bag of chips and popping one into his mouth. "You know, maybe going out and seeing someone else, might be what you need though. I mean we meet up for lunch sometimes, but maybe you should try a friend date or something, get your mind off of him completely."

Roman took a moment to think about it. "I don't have anyone to do that with. Unless you're offering," he chuckled, the bright blush rushing across Jay's cheeks only making him chuckle a little more. "But I'm not your type, if I remember right."

Jay shook his head. "Sorry, I don't dig the tall, dark, and handsome thing. I prefer blonds with nice tits, and I like guys shorter than me. So, yeah, as good looking as you are, this hot piece of ass isn't interested," he laughed, watching as Roman rolled his eyes with an equally amused laugh. "But I'm here to talk to. I'll always be around for that."

"Thanks Jay. I appreciate it, more than you know."

* * *

Seth sighed, leaning back on the grass, his camera laying next to him. He'd been assigned to get some skyline shots, but he was really lacking the enthusiasm. He closed his eyes, letting the cool breeze run over him, making the humid summer day a little more bearable. He took in a breath, stretching his legs out, his arms moving back to fold under his head as a makeshift pillow. He hated that the only person he could see when his eyes closed was Dean. He knew he'd messed up their friendship that night he'd kissed him.

He'd just wanted to get out his own feelings. He only knew how to do that one way, and that was actions. He'd tried using words before, finding that they never came out right, and that night had shown it. He didn't just want sex, he wanted to be in Dean's arms. He wanted to feel the warmth of the other man against him.

Dark eyes slowly opened, taking in the few white clouds that were littering the blue sky. He sighed, moving to sit up, wincing when his hand brushed against a fresh bruise on his thigh. Easily, he knew that if Dean was there he'd have to make up some stupid excuse for it, much like he had for the bruise he'd had on his cheek.

Seth's phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out, looking over the message, his mouth turning down into a deeper frown. He didn't want to talk to Cody at that moment. He pushed it back into his pocket, picking up his camera and taking a few more shots, calling it a day when he still lacked the motivation. He had all day tomorrow to finish up, knowing the weather was going to be just as good.

He packed up, walking back to his car, setting his equipment in the passenger's seat before walking over and getting into the driver's seat. He blew out a sigh, turning the key and heading home. The last month had been terrible. All he could think of was how much he regretted acting on impulse and pushing himself on Dean. It had been stupid.

His drive home was uneventful. He scooped up his equipment and brought it inside his and Phil's apartment, setting everything in the second bedroom that he used for work before stripping off his damp shirt and tossing it into a basket in the bedroom, flopping back down on the bed, his hands behind his head as he toed off his shoes and rolled to his side, thoughts filled with Dean.

"You're home early," Phil said, walking in a few minutes later, a pen stuck behind his ear. He smirked, looking at his lover before walking over and sitting on his side of their queen sized bed. "Hey, what's on your mind babe? You've been kinda down the last couple weeks."

Seth shook his head, forcing out a smile. He knew it would only lead to an argument if he brought Dean up. "Nothing, just a little stressed out with work," he lied, pulling his legs up closer to his chest, ignoring that his lover was only wearing a pair of board shorts. "I'm surprised you aren't at the shop today."

Phil shrugged, leaning back on his pillows, pulling the pen from behind his ear and setting it on his nightstand next to his lamp and alarm clock. "Shan made me take a day off. Said he was tired of looking at my ugly Wolverine face," he laughed, turning to his side, his hand resting on Seth's scruffy cheek. "I can help you unwind."

Seth just closed his eyes. "Okay," he breathed, warm lips suddenly on his, gentle hands pushing him onto his back. He loved the feel of that warm ring on his lips, the hot ball of Phil's tongue ring pushing along his tongue. He let out a low groan, nimble hands working on his jeans.

Phil stripped Seth of his jeans and boxer briefs, cupping the fully erect member. "Want me to blow you?" he asked, his voice sultry and dripping with lust. "You can blow me at the same time."

Seth felt a shiver run down his spine. He nodded, stripping Phil of his shorts, his fingers raking over pierced nipples, smirking at the low whine in Phil's throat. He pushed all thoughts of Dean away as he laid back on the bed, Phil's knees on either side of his head, the head of the heavy arousal tapping against his plush lips. He took it in hand, pressing a kiss to the head before taking it into his hot mouth.

Phil let out a low groan, stroking Seth a few times before doing the same, swallowing down as much of the velvety flesh as he could. One hand massaged the heavy sac, his other keeping Seth's rod steady.

Seth groaned, his fingernails digging into the soft flesh of Phil's firm ass. He gasped, a slick finger circling his entrance. He pulled back from Phil's cock, unable to handle the doubled pleasure. "Baby," he whimpered, the sudden flash of Dean giving him such pleasure sweeping into his mind. He didn't trust his mouth, biting down his lips to keep quiet. He clutched the firm thighs, Phil working over him faster. He wouldn't last long, he knew it.

Phil only worked harder, sliding another finger in the tight canal, stretching the tight ring for him. He groaned, dull nails sliding down the back of his thighs, leaving burning trails in their wake. "Be gentle, I do have to sit when I tattoo," he hissed, his cock once again in that hot mouth.

Seth whimpered around the hard flesh, sucking as much of Phil in as he could. This was the man he loved, he had to stop thinking about Dean. He jerked, Phil adding another finger and hitting him right in his sweet spot all at once. "Fuck me," he ground out, pulling off of Phil. "Now, right now."

Phil nodded, settling between Seth's legs, brushing the blunt head against Seth's stretched hole. "You want this baby?" he asked teasingly, pushing in just slightly. He wanted to hear Seth beg.

"Yes, fuck yes Phil, I want that," he whimpered, squirming on the sheets. "Put it in." He gasped, a moment later the thick, slick head sinking into him, the long shaft following, filling him up completely. He let out a low groan, suddenly wondering if he'd feel that good with Dean inside him. He wrapped his arms around Phil's neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

Phil pulled back after a sloppy kiss, his hips grinding deep into Seth before pulling out to slowly plunge back in. "I'm the only one that can make you feel like this, right baby?" he asked, angling his hips to brush against Seth's prostate.

Seth nodded, the words curling around him gently. "Yeah," he answered, eyes half lidded as they looked up into the olive ones that were looking down at him.

"No one will ever love you like I do. No one can make you feel this good, get you this undone," Phil groaned, hips moving a little faster, one hand tight on Seth's hip, the other stroking the other man in time to his thrusts. "No one can take care of you like this, no one but me. You're all mine Seth, every last fucking bit of you."

Seth only nodded, eyes closing, his entire body over run with pleasure. He could hear Phil's words, but he could only see Dean over him, smiling down lovingly at him as their bodies moved. He knew he should only be thinking about Phil, but he couldn't.

Phil was close, his hips movie faster, Seth's body pushing back into him as their pace increased. "I want you to cum for me Seth," he breathed, grabbing Seth's hip a little harder, their bodies crashing into each other. He felt Seth's body start to tense up, the hardness in his hand throbbing. "Say my name baby, yell it so everyone knows who you belong to."

Seth felt Phil over him, lips on his neck as his body tightened up and he started to come undone. His arms wrapped around Phil's neck, pulling him even closer He bit his lower lip, his release tearing through him. "Dean!" he cried, hot streams of cum landing on his belly. His eyes flew open, Phil completely still over him.

Phil felt his heart ache, his teeth sinking into his lower lip, the metal of his lip ring digging into his sensitive gums. He slammed into Seth, his hands grabbing Seth's wrists and forcing them above his head. He didn't stop, anger filling him as he pounded into Seth as fast and as hard as he could. "Why Seth?" he growled, olive eyes meeting frightened chocolate ones. "Why are you thinking of him? Has he fucked you too?"

Seth shook his head, terrified. "N-no," he gasped out, his back aching. He wanted to tell Phil to slow down, that it hurt, that he wasn't enjoying it. He bit his lower lip, a hard slap sending his face to one side. He felt tears well up in his eyes. He deserved that. He felt another slap on his other cheek, Phil's hips slamming into him one last time before he felt Phil yank himself free.

Phil crawled up Seth's body, stroking his throbbing member as fast as he could, his free hand grabbing Seth's face and turning it so he was facing his hot tool. "You want to be a whore, I can treat you like one," he growled, forcing Seth's mouth open. He grunted, eyes closing as the first stream of white cum flew from him and over the beautiful face. His hips thrust into his hand, each stroke sending another stream over Seth's face, very little actually making it into the open mouth.

Seth's eyes were closed, emotional and physical pain coursing through him. He'd only made Phil mad again. This was his punishment. He felt the bed shift as Phil pulled away from him. He cracked an eye open, more than a little humiliated at how he probably looked, how Phil had just left him like a cheap whore. He got out of the bed, making his way into the bathroom to clean up.

* * *

(A/N): A month's gone by and no one seems to be getting any better… Poor guys. So, we're going to have a roller coaster of a chapter next time. Buckle your seatbelts, I don't think some of you are ready for this ride yet! Thoughts are always appreciated! Onwards and Upwards! Title is Days Go By by Rascal Flatts.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	14. Curiosity Kills

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 13.**

**Note: Put on your seat belts and I'll see you at the bottom! Early update because I'll be watching the Superbowl! (American Football). Enjoy and I'll see everyone Friday! -JJ**

* * *

_**Curiosity Kills**_

"So, how've your dreams been going?" Gail asked, leaning back in her chair, her dark eyes running over Cody as he laid on the chaise, his hands folded behind his head, eyes closed as he spoke softly. "Have you tried talking with anyone about them? Your roommate maybe?"

Cody shook his head, blue eyes slowly sliding open. "No, we haven't really spent much time around each other lately," he admitted, blowing out a sigh. "They're just getting worse. I barely make it a day without having one. I haven't felt as comfortable in them lately either. I either end up yelling or somehow getting my feelings hurt. I don't know if it's the same one over and over again or not. We end up arguing about the same thing, even though half of the conversation is silent. It's just our mouths moving but I know we're yelling."

Gail scribbled in her notes, nodding. "You know, I don't like to bring up this kind of therapy, but in your case, it might be better," she started, sitting up straight, looking down at the dainty watch on her wrist. "It's called photo therapy. Normally, it doesn't do much for a patient but we can try it. Have a family member or friend pull out some photos from the last three years and run through them with you. If anything, you'll know more about the time you're missing anyway."

Cody sat up, thinking about it. He could easily ask Roman to go through some photos with him. Maybe it would be enough to get Roman off of the phone for a while. "Thanks Doc, I'll try it," he answered, looking at the clock on Gail's desk, finding that his session was almost over. "You think this could work?"

Gail smiled encouragingly. "Memory loss is a strange and complicated thing. Sometimes all it takes is something as minor as a photo to bring everything back, other times it takes an emotional trauma. Then there are times that people never recover the time they lost and some are never the same. I had a man once who had went missing for four years after a car accident. He had no recollection of who he was or where he'd come from. One day he ran into his wife at the grocery store and didn't even recognize her. He never remembered her and he'd changed so much that they couldn't be together again. He died never remembering her."

Cody felt a cold darkness settle in his heart. Could he be like that? He hoped not, he wanted to remember, at least some of it. "That's terrible," he murmured, hands shaking as he pushed off the chair and stood. "I don't want to be like that. I want to be able to remember my friends." He looked over at the clock, finding his time was up. "I'll see you next week doc."

Gail only smiled, waving as Cody left without another word to her.

Cody's thoughts were brooding in his mind, his hands fidgeting in front of him. He didn't know what he was missing out in those three years, but suddenly he needed to know. He had to know what it was that he was missing out on. He pushed open the door to the lobby, turning his attention to Jeff at the receptionist's desk. "See you next week," he said, the blond looking up and giving him a smile.

He'd taken a regular scheduled time every week on Wednesdays at one thirty. He waved at Maria, who was cleaning up legos before heading outside into the humid air. He felt like he was suffocating, the air really thick that day. Even the breeze wasn't helping much. He blew out a sigh, walking up to his car and getting in, enjoying the sudden cool air that hit him as soon as he turned it on. He didn't have to go back to work, only working a half-day on Wednesdays since he'd told Damien about his therapy. He could go home and start searching for photos, but he wasn't sure if Roman was there, he'd been out most afternoons as of late.

He reached into his pocket, pulling out his cell, deciding that he'd text Seth. He was a photographer, so there was a big chance that he had at least a few photos of his past. He typed in the message asking if Seth was busy and sent it.

_Working until four. I'm free after that._

Cody groaned, wanting nothing more than to go through photos as soon as possible. He couldn't ask Drew, knowing he was at work until around six. He blew out a breath, tossing his phone into the passenger seat and clipping on his seat belt. He pulled out of his parking space and headed home. Even if Roman wasn't there to explain, he could at least look at them.

* * *

"Roman," a round woman breathed, running her hand through his hair. "You have to stop moping baby. Put on your smile and take it head on," she encouraged, grabbing his pony tail and gently pulling his head back to look at her. She smiled, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.

Roman smiled back softly; the soft lips only making him feel like a kid again. "Thanks mom," he murmured, closing his eyes. "How's dad doing?"

The woman shrugged, sighing. "Working like a mad man again," she answered, pushing a lock of dark hair behind her ear, her own grey eyes mirroring her son's. "He's going to end up putting himself in an early grave if he keeps it up. But, don't stray from the conversation. What're you going to do about Cody?"

"What can I do? I already messed up by lying to him, how do I just tell him that we were together and I still love him?" he asked, folding his hands on the table and resting his face on them. "Mom…."

"Just breathe honey," she eased, rubbing his back, smiling. "Have faith that everything will be okay, as long as you do that, things are bound to get better." She took the seat next to him at the table, picking up her coffee mug and taking a sip of her herbal tea. "Roman, be honest with him. Go home and let him know how you feel. Even if things don't change, at least you aren't hiding it."

"You told me that about dad too," Roman muttered, looking up into the slight taken back eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you."

A soft sigh escaped the tanned lips. "Your father is another story. He'll come around one day. He loves you for you, and he likes Cody. He just doesn't like you two together. He wants grandkids."

Roman only groaned, pushing his face back into his arms. "I don't really want to talk about this anymore Mom," he murmured, leaning forward heavily. "He's happy with Drew. I just need some time. We don't know if he'll ever remember those three years, and I don't want to force it on him."

She only nodded, giving her son a soft look. She didn't say anything when Roman stood, rubbing his face roughly with his hands, only gave a soft smile.

"I'm gonna go work out and go home. I haven't made dinner in the last few nights, I'm sick of take out," he muttered, walking over to the door and slipping his shoes on. "And I know Cody'll eat those damn noodles again if he isn't going out with Drew. If you talk to Matt before me, tell him to call sometime. I miss hearing from him."

"You know your brother, he's worse than your father when it comes to working."

* * *

Cody closed the door, breathing in the cool air as he kicked his shoes off. He flopped down on the couch, closing his eyes and wondering where he would even look for a photo album. It wasn't like he'd thought about looking at photos before. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket a moment later. His blue eyes slowly slid open and he pulled it out, looking at the message that Seth had sent him with a smile.

Off early. Call when you're free

Maybe he could get Seth to go through them with him. Seth and him were friends and it had to be less awkward than it probably would be if he waited for Roman. That was, if he could even get the other man off his phone long enough.

Cody smiled, growing a little anxious as he scrolled down his contacts to Seth's number. He hit the dial button and held his phone to his ear, listening to it ring a couple of times.

"Hey Cody, what's up?"

Cody felt a little relieved, Seth's voice a little more upbeat than the last time he'd talked to him. "Hey, I had a question. I'm looking for some old photos and I was wondering if you knew where Roman would keep an album," he said, closing his eyes again, sinking into the comfortable cushions. He listened as the line went quiet, the sound of soft rock music in the background flowing into his ear.

"Last I knew Rome kept photos in the end table. That's where he put them last time anyway. Or they're in his room. Why, what do you need them for?"

Cody's eyes popped open as he sat up, getting up and walking over to the end table at the other end of the couch. His heart rate started to increase. "The doc said it could help me out with some memories. So I figured we could go through them and you can give me some information on what I'm missing out on," he quickly explained, struggling to open the door. He finally got it to pop open after a few tense moments of tugging, a large photo album sitting there, the black leather cover staring back at him. He smirked at it, more than a little excited to fill in some of the gaps that he was missing.

Seth's voice grew tight and a little high strung. "Cody, wait until Roman gets home. You and him should really be the ones talking about this. Please, wait until he's there. Promise me you will!"

Cody promised half heartedly, biting back a smile as picked the heavy book up, silently shutting the door and walking over to the dining room table. "Yeah, yeah, I'll wait. Oh, I have another call, I'll call you back in a bit okay?" he lied, tired of hearing those words. He was tired of everyone telling him to talk to Roman. He didn't give Seth a chance to say anything back as he hit the end button. He sat down and opened the cover, looking at the loose photos on top.

He picked the thick stack of photographs up, blue eyes concentrating on the first one of him and Roman, their arms around the other as they stood in front of the surf board at Jon and Josh's surf shop. His breath caught in his throat, the smile on Roman's lips so perfect, so happy. He'd never seen Roman smile like that around him. He looked over his own face, perfect happiness radiating off the glossy paper. He remembered Roman telling him that he'd been happy in the last three years. He smiled softly, flipping the photo over, the date scrawled neatly on the back.

_Uso Surf Shop, Pensacola, Florida 2011_

He set it off to the side, giving it another once over before looking over others. He smiled at goofy photos of him and Seth, thinking that they had to have been close with how at ease they both looked together. There were a couple of Dean and Roman, both making serious faces and looking exhausted. He tried to hold back a chuckle, the exhaustion overwhelming in their less than enthused eyes. Cody wondered what had them so tired.

His heart thumped, flipping to one of Seth and Dean. Dean had a hold of Seth, the two toned male's mouth wide open in what he assumed was protest. He chuckled, wondering if Dean was trying to throw Seth off the wooden dock into the ocean. Even in the photo, he could see the love in Dean's eyes. He ran a hand over the two, thinking about what Dean had told him. He'd have to call Seth back and ask him about what had happened.

He paused at the next photo, his breath catching in his throat as he stared at it in disbelief. His heart started to pound as he set the stack down and held just that singular photo in his trembling hands. He took in the sight, eyes running over it several times.

It was a photo of him and Roman at the beach. The white crested surf was up to their mid calves, both standing there in just swimming trunks. The sky was bright blue and clear behind them in the background, the sun bearing down on them, making the water on their exposed upper bodies sparkle. Roman's arms were wrapped securely around his waist, the dark head resting on his shoulder. Cody was happily wrapped in those arms, his body relaxed as his eyes followed where Roman's hand was pointing out into the gentle waves that were coming in. Both had smiles on their lips. The moment was personal, intimate even, that had been captured.

Cody's hands were trembling as his heart thumped uncomfortably in his chest. They had been close, so close. He didn't understand how he couldn't remember that kind of closeness with someone. He turned the photo over, the messy scrawl making him smile. He assumed it was Roman's handwriting.

_Pensacola Beach Summer 2012_

He felt a rush go through him, hurrying through a few more photos. He felt a small panic rise up in his belly to his chest, knowing something about his current situation with Roman wasn't right. He could feel it. He flipped though photos, glancing over them, scanning them for answers.

He saw one of Seth and Dean, a couple of them with Roman's cousins and Trinity all dressed in green, a few of them with Mike and Maryse in formal wear. He froze when he stopped at a strip photo, the ones you got from photo booths. His jaw dropped, heart pounding as his eyes fluttered over the four miniature photos.

The photos were bordered in pristine white, decorated with red, blue, and yellow balloons and streamers. Across the top bold red letters spelled out _Happy Birthday_. The first two photos were innocent enough of him and Roman, both smiling and laughing for the camera, both making peace signs in the second one with their hands.

It was the third one that made Cody's blood run cold and his heart seize in his chest. Him and Roman's lips were pressed together in a gentle kiss, his hands wound loosely in the long dark hair, Roman's hands cupping his cheeks.

Questions flew through his mind, his eyes flowing down to the last one, his stomach doing a flip. In the final strip he could mostly see his face, Roman pushed back against the wall of the booth, their kiss less than innocent, their eyes closed tight. Cody could feel the need between them. He swallowed hard, hands shaking so bad he could barely make out the date printed at the base of the strip.

_May 25, 2013_

Cody could barely breathe as he stared at the strip, realizing that the photos had only been taken two months prior, right before the accident, right before he'd woken up in the hospital. He blew out a sigh, biting his lower lip roughly, wanting nothing more than a spark, something that would make him remember.

He set it down on the small pile of photos he'd collected of him and Roman, questions rising in his throat. His mind was racing with what his life had been. What had him and Roman really been to each other? Were they really just roommates? Had they been more? He shook his head, covering his face with his hands, questions bubbling up in him, stealing his breath. Had they only been fooling around in the booth and it had gotten hot and heavy? Had he been with Roman?

He shook his head, eyes closing. Roman had told him before that they weren't anything more than roommates. That nothing had happened between them, but why did they look so happy in each other's arms? Had they only began to notice each other? Was this what everyone kept telling him to ask Roman about?

Cody's hands dropped, his eyes opening to look at the mess of photos in front of him. He rushed through them, searching for answers. He tossed any picture that wasn't of them off to the side, wanting answers. He bit his tongue, tasting bitter coppery blood as it blossomed in his mouth when he realized that in every photo of them they had their hands clasped together or were in some way touching the other. It was usually something simple, something as friendly as Roman's arm around his shoulder.

He took in their bright smiles, knowing he'd never looked so happy in a photo. He hated to have his picture taken, but there he was in several photos posing happily as long as he was next to the Samoan man. What had changed in him? What had made him so happy in those three years that made it so anyone looking at those photos could see the happiness radiating out of them? He just wanted to remember.

He suddenly stopped, looking down at a white and blue card with sparkling snowflakes on it sitting perfectly on the shiny page. His breathing slowed as he set the last few photos off to the side, not bothering to look at them. He took up the card in his hands, the glittered letters still intact and brightly glittering in the light. His hands started to shake as he read the large silvery blue cursive.

_Happy Anniversary_

Cody could barely breathe as he opened the card, reading the loving pre written message in the same silvery blue ink. His heart pounded, his eyes falling to the little message that was written at the bottom in blue ink. His eyes widened at his handwriting.

_These last two years have been the best time of my life. _

_Happy Anniversary Ro, here's to the rest of our lives. _

_I love you, _

_Cody_

The card fluttered from his lax fingers, suddenly realizing that everything he knew was wrong. Every last thing he thought was completely wrong. He jumped, heart pounding so hard against his sternum that it hurt when the door opened. He looked over, Roman's tall form pushing the door open, those beautiful grey eyes focused on his feet, the bronze face tired looking. He was frozen, voice completely gone as confusion and anger bubbled inside of him.

Everything he'd ever been told by the man in front of him had been a lie. Every last word out of that mouth had been wrong, and he had lapped it up. He'd trusted Roman. He felt angered hurt and betrayal start to out weigh the confusion, rising in his chest, ready to erupt.

Roman sighed, pulling his sneakers off, enjoying the coolness of the house on his sweaty skin. He was tired from his serious work out at the gym, but he felt a little better. He'd taken his mother's words to heart. He needed to talk to Cody, at least clear the air between them and hope that Cody would forgive him for the lies. He knew it wouldn't do anything to change their current situation of being only roommates, but it would at least be the truth.

"I'm home," he called, wondering if Cody was even home. He'd seen the new Toyota in the driveway, but that never meant anything. It didn't mean that Cody hadn't went out with Drew, like he did most nights, or that he hadn't went out for a walk, which was a normality too. He didn't hear anything. "You home?" He looked up, heart stopping at the sight of Cody sitting at their table, photo album in front of him, photos spread all around. He froze in fear, eyes widening. He couldn't even begin to think of anything to say

"You lied to me," Cody said, voice barely above a whisper, looking down at their happy photos, their happy memories of the last three years together laid out in front of him, memories that he couldn't even try to remember. "You fucking lied to me!" His voice was rising as he jumped up from his chair, knocking it backwards as he rushed up to Roman. His trembling hands wound in the front of the loose grey and white tank top, his blue eyes searching guarded grey ones for answers. "Why? I trusted you! Why Roman, why did you lie?" He hadn't realized that he was yelling.

Roman's heart ached at those pleading blue eyes tearing him apart inside. His jaw tightened as he looked away. This was not how he wanted Cody to find out about them, about their past. "I panicked," he answered, voice soft, unable to think of anything else to say. His eyes moved to the table, knowing that all of their memories were right there for Cody to look at and take in. "We should sit down. I'll make us something to drink. You're going to want it." He swallowed hard at the lump in his throat, his larger hands touching the backs of Cody's. He took a step back, telling himself not to feel hurt when Cody yanked away from him.

"Sit down?" Cody questioned incredulously, narrowing his eyes at Roman. "Are you kidding me? You want me to fucking sit down and wait for a drink?" He took another step back, shaking his head, anger filling him. "How about you tell me what the hell went on in the last three years and maybe, just maybe I'll fucking sit down and have a drink!"

Roman just looked at Cody, taken back and a little shocked at the outburst. He'd known Cody was going to be angry no matter which way he'd told him about their past, but Roman hadn't expected for Cody to be this furious with him. He tried to stay calm as he stepped around Cody and walked into the kitchen. His hands shook as he pulled open the fridge door and pulled out a beer. He popped the top and took a quick drink, completely uncaring that it was only three in the afternoon. He was going to need something a lot stronger than beer by the end of their conversation.

"Everything you ever told me was a lie," Cody growled, anger only intensifying in the pit of his stomach at Roman's silence. He started to pace, shaking his head, mind reeling. He waited another moment for Roman to say something, anything. "Are you going to say anything?"

Roman set the beer down on the row of cabinets; grey eyes meeting heated blue ones. "What do you want me to say?" he asked carefully, eyes moving to rest on their photos. "I did lie to you, but it wasn't why you think."

"And what the hell would you know about what I'm thinking?" Cody screamed, walking over to the photos, shaking his head as he pushed them around, eyes floating over happy faces staring back at him. "The last three years of my life is on this fucking table and no one wants to give me a straight answer." He thought of Seth and Trinity and how they'd told him to talk to Roman. "Any time I ask someone about my past, they tell me to talk to you." His eyes turned to Roman, a cold burning fire running through them. "And you'll barely even talk to me. Why is everyone treating me like I'm a piece of glass? I'm not a fucking kid. What the hell are they hiding? What the fuck were we?"

Roman took a breath, fear enveloping him. He wasn't ready for this conversation. He wasn't sure if he could get through this. He had no idea where to start or even how to start to explain. "I… I lied to protect you," he said gently, voice slightly wavering. He only earned a darker look from the smaller male.

Cody scoffed, throwing his hands in the air angrily. "Protect me?" he asked, pushing out a humorless chuckle, facing Roman. "From what? Wait, nevermind how am I supposed to trust a word out of your mouth now? I know we weren't just roommates. I know that this is all a lie!" He felt his body start to shake, his breathing faster. "Was all this just some fucking cover up? Is there someone else?"

Roman groaned, irritation growing and coursing through his body. "No, there wasn't, there isn't anyone else," he bit out, telling himself to keep calm. Yelling and screaming wasn't going to get them anywhere. It would only escalate the already heated accusations. His mind was reeling. He had no idea what to say to calm Cody down. "I don't even know where to fucking start."

"Well, the beginning would be pretty fucking great," Cody snapped, crossing his arms over his chest, his mouth nothing more than a thin, tight line. His blood was boiling with questions all about his life. "What were we? And don't you _dare _tell me something stupid. I want the fucking truth."

Roman rubbed his face roughly with one hand, knowing that he only had himself to blame for how fucked up things had gotten. It was his fault that Cody was so angry with him. "We weren't just roommates," he started, earning a low _No shit _from the other man. He winced, unable to remember if Cody had ever been this angry with him before. "We were lovers. We have been for two and a half years."

Cody felt his heart nearly burst out of his chest, anger rising even further in him, the only saving grace was at least Roman wasn't lying to him. "And you thought that it would be nice to tell me otherwise in the hospital?" His sarcasm was thick and mean, but he couldn't help but unleash everything on Roman.

"I fucking panicked okay?" Roman asked, voice rising. He was tired of the subtle and not so subtle accusations. "Is that what you want to hear? Yeah, I lied about what we were but I couldn't just take it back after I said it, now could I?" He blew out a frustrated growl, shaking his head. "It wasn't right but I only did it so things wouldn't be so awkward when we came home."

"And this right here isn't fucking awkward?" Cody asked, pointing at Roman, then himself, before finally pointing at the table. "We're standing in the middle of our God damned house yelling at each other because you didn't have the balls to tell me the truth!"

That was it. "For fuck's sake Cody!" Roman finally yelled, unable to keep up the calm resolve that he was fighting so hard to keep. He moved from his spot, roughly rubbing his face with his hands as he took a few steps towards the table. They dropped and he turned to Cody, looking at the smaller male. "Yes, this is fucking awkward." His hands pressed hard into his hips, his brain on fire. "But you don't even remember meeting me, how the fuck was I supposed to tell you that I was your boyfriend? You don't remember a damn thing about me, or us, or what our lives were like before the accident! So excuse the fuck out of me for trying to make your life a little easier!"

"Easier, how the hell is this easier?"

"I didn't want you coming home and feeling like you had to remember everything. I didn't want you to feel forced into trying to love me! I didn't want this to be any more uncomfortable then it had to be!" Roman shouted, hands shaking.

Cody only gave Roman a cold look. His heart was pounding harder, not just from anger, but fear. Those photos had shown a side of him he'd never known he'd had. It was Roman that had made him happy and that scared him. "Well that worked out great, didn't it?"

Roman just looked at Cody, lightening shooting between their heated bodies. "This isn't how I wanted you to find out," he bit out, turning back to his beer and taking a long drink, hands shaking so bad that he could barely hold the bottle to his lips. "This isn't how I wanted any of this to go."

"And when were you going to tell me?" Cody asked, voice surprisingly calm but still frigid. He looked up into Roman's grey eyes, watching as fear and anger and anguish shifted back and forth in them. He hadn't thought about how this had to be for Roman, and at that point he didn't care. He was the one that had been strung along like a toy on a string, believing and trusting the other man. "How long where you going to dangle me around like a god damned marionette before you decided that you were tired of watching me dance?"

Roman bit back the hurt. He'd never meant to hurt Cody. "You know, you aren't the only one that's hurting here," he growled, jaw tightening as he pushed back the growing resentment. "Everything I've done, I did to make life a little easier for you, and look at where the fuck it's got me!"

"This is easier?" Cody snarled, shaking his head, completely in disbelief of the words. He walked to the other side of the table, hands setting on the top of the photo album. He shoved it towards Roman, scattering the photos all around the table, some slipping over the edges and fluttering weightlessly to the floor. "All of _my_ memories, all of _our_ memories, of the last three fucking years is on this fucking table and you just happened to think that it would be easier to lie to me about them? Three years Roman! Three God damned years!"

Roman just looked down at the scattered photos with a hard face; teeth clenched; jaw ticking. "I fucked up, okay? Is that what you want to hear?"

"No, I want to know what the hell all this is!" He was near begging for someone, anyone to tell him what he was missing. What had happened in those three years?

Roman set his beer down and walked over to Cody, grabbing his arm and yanking him to the other side of the table. He grabbed a photo of them and shoved it into Cody's hands. "This isn't easy for me either, okay?" he blew out, voice softer as he looked at the happy photo of them together, Cody wrapped in his arms. "Did it ever cross your mind that maybe I'm going through a lot too?"

Cody felt a shot of lightning shoot down his spine. "How the hell is this hard on you? You're free to do whatever you want and I wouldn't know any different!" he shouted, looking down at the photo, hands shaking as his anger seemed to spike at the happy faces smiling back at him. He just wanted to crumble the photo up and throw it. "You have all of your memories!"

"Because I fucking love you, okay?!" Roman yelled back, crossing his arms over his chest as he walked towards the counter, eyes focused on the hardwood floor. He felt his entire body start to shake. He sucked his lower lip into his mouth, his tongue running over the edge as he searched for the right words in the silence. He'd said it out right, there was no going back. "I love you Cody. I have for the last two and a half years and I can't do a damn thing about it." He turned to Cody's shocked face, blinking back the burning in his eyes. "Even if I had told you the truth, where would we be? Would you let me kiss you? Would you let me just fucking hold you?" He let another pause settle between them, it completely suffocating him. "No, no you wouldn't."

Cody stood there in shock, letting the information run over him. He knew Roman wasn't lying to him. He also knew Roman was right; he wouldn't have let anything happen between them, not even allowing Roman to hold him. He looked down at the floor, thinking over all the time that they'd spent together, a few things starting to make sense and click into place. Instantly he thought about everything Drew had said to him, how he'd made Cody wait before they could be together again. He felt a stab to his heart, knowing Drew had lied to him to a degree too.

"I gave up so much to be with you, and you don't even know it," Roman yelled, snatching the photo from Cody's hands and flinging it back onto the table. "I ruined the great relationship with my Dad for you. I spent the last three years being your friend, your lover, and I'm stuck here confused, and angry, and hurt that I can't even tell you how I feel anymore. Yeah, I fucking lied to you, but you aren't the only one that's hurting over it!" He stepped away from Cody, unable to stop, letting all of his frustrations run out of him. "Not that it fucking matters right? You have Drew, that's all that matters. As long as he's there, your world's fucking great, fuck anyone else that might care about you!"

Cody swallowed hard, the utter viciousness in Roman's voice tearing at his insides. He was angry and hurt and at that moment, he couldn't stand the sight of the Samoan man. "I can't be here right now," he murmured, suddenly feeling choked by everything around him. He turned towards the door, completely missing the suddenly terrified look on Roman's face. "I can't be here. I can't be around you."

Roman felt his feet move before he could think, heart pounding as his arms wrapped around Cody, his face burying into the crook of Cody's neck. Fear coursed though him, knowing that there was a chance that Cody might not come back. He couldn't handle that. "I won't ask you to stay," he breathed, voice soft arms tightening. He could smell Cody's natural scent. He didn't want to lose that, not again. "Promise you'll come back. I know this is a lot but I want to be the one to explain it all. It's my fault this happened." He felt Cody's body stiffen as his own started to shake.

Cody couldn't feel Roman's trembling over his own, the same warm feeling of completion rushing over him. He jerked free from the strong arms, terrified of how his body was reacting to Roman. He turned and swung without thinking, his fist colliding with Roman's left cheek. He took a step back, heart pounding even harder. He could easily see shock in the bronze face. He turned back to the door, flinging it open before running out to his car, completely forgetting his shoes.

Roman's head slowly turned towards the door, heart aching in his chest. Never in their entire relationship had Cody ever hit him. He couldn't feel the pain in his face, just the emotional toll of his lover leaving him alone in their house. He sighed, jaw tightening as a hand tenderly touched his cheek. He didn't dare let a single tear slip free, knowing that he could only blame himself for how things had turned out.

* * *

Cody sped as fast as he could to his parents' house, pulling into the drive way and rushing in. "Mom!" he cried, hands shaking as he paced in the doorway, wincing when he looked down and realized that he was only in his socks. His mind was in a million places and he just needed someone to talk to, someone who understood him. "Mom!"

Michelle came running into the kitchen, worry written across her face. "Cody? What's wrong? What happened baby?" she asked, grabbing his face and looking into the scared blue orbs. "Cody, calm down. Look at me, what's wrong?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked softly, trying to slow his breathing, knowing if he kept it up he would end up hyperventilating. "Why didn't anyone tell me the truth?" His body shook harder, his mother's soft features doing little to console him.

Michelle sighed, pulling Cody to her, holding his shaking form close to her. "Come, sit down at the table, I'll get you something to calm your nerves," she comforted, leading Cody to the small round table in the middle of the kitchen, pushing him gently to sit in the matching wooden chair. She'd been waiting for this. "Did he finally tell you?"

Cody shook his head. "You knew?" he asked incredulously, looking at his mother like she'd grown another head. "All this time, you knew that he was lying?"

Michelle turned her back to Cody as she poured them both a glass of iced tea. "Yes, I knew," she answered after sitting down, placing Cody's glass in front of him. "But listen, he did it for you baby. It may not seem like it, but lying to you was the hardest thing for him to do."

"How can you defend him?!" Cody shouted, betrayal heavily saturating the words. How could she defend Roman? She was _his _mom.

"Don't you use that tone of voice with me," she snapped, her motherly side shining through, understanding of Cody being upset, but not with the disrespectful tone. "He wanted you to recover without pressuring you. I didn't agree with it, but I understood it. I know you're hurt and upset, but think of how hard that had to be on him. Even now, that man loves you more than a bird loves to fly and he can only sit back and watch you be happy with someone else."

Cody shivered, forgetting completely about his and Drew's relationship. He covered his face with his hands, his elbows resting on the table. It all made sense: why Drew and Roman hated one another; why Roman didn't like being around Drew and him. All the missing pieces were starting to fall into place, leaving Cody to sit there in complete shock. "I don't understand how he could just watch all this. If he loves me half as much as he says, how can he sit back like nothing's wrong?"

"Because your happiness is his happiness," she said, resting her hand on Cody's upper arm. "I'm not trying to defend him, but he had your best interests at heart, even if that meant sacrificing his." She gave a gentle smile, teary blue eyes looking at her. "C'mere."

Cody let himself be wrapped up in her arms, pressing her face into her shoulder and letting a few tears go. "I don't know what to do Mom. How am I supposed to face him now?"

Michelle ran her hand through the dark hair, holding her youngest child closer. "You need to talk to Roman baby. Get things straightened out between you two and go from there. At least so the truth is out."

* * *

(A/N): Well, the truth is finally out to Cody and things did not go well. I wonder how the rest is going to go. Welp, stay tuned! (And why does everything end up going down in chapter 14?) Thoughts? Feelings? Let me know! Onwards and Upwards! Title is Curiosity Kills by Trapt.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	15. Life On Standby

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 14.  
**

**Note: Extra Update this week because we've reached 100 reviews! You guys are so fucking amazing! I adore each and every review you send me, they really are what keep me going when I hit road blocks or end up with a bout of writers block. You have no idea how much they mean to me. I wish there were more words to say it, because 'Thank You' just isn't enough. Thank you everyone, I really really mean it! Check back Friday for the next chapter! Enjoy! -JJ**

* * *

_**Life On Standby**_

The heavy air surrounded Cody as he sat on the hood of his car, his back pressed against the cool windshield, his eyes focused on the darkening sky. He'd left his parents' house barely an hour before, but he wasn't ready to go home. He blew out a deep sigh, putting his hands behind his head. He needed to be alone to think and let everything sink in.

He had been shocked to find that he'd been with Roman. He could feel his heart start to pound, his eyes closing as he thought of the other man. He thought back when they were together, finally understanding why he felt so safe and warm when Roman was around. His head had forgotten the Samoan man, but his body hadn't. It all made sense, why he was always so anxious when Roman left him or he didn't see him, why he sometimes felt guilty with Drew.

It explained Roman's actions more than he wanted to admit. Why he kept from letting Cody touch him, why he'd called Cody 'babe' that night he'd come home drunk. Why Cody had thought there was something seriously bothering the other man.

He blew out a sigh, wiggling around until he was in a slightly more comfortable position. He had to go home and talk with Roman. There was no way around it; he knew that. He was dreading it with every fiber of his being. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to just sit there and listen to the bigger male explain things without once again flying into a fit of rage. He'd already lashed out physically already.

Cody winced, rubbing his knuckles as he thought of how hard he'd actually hit Roman. He had panicked, his body had tried relaxing into the warm touch, his body wanting nothing more than those arms to hold him tighter. He shook his head, eyes opening as the first few stars dotted the sky. He shook his head, sitting up on the hood, his hands sitting in his lap. He had to go back and at least apologize for punching Roman.

He turned to the side, sliding off the hood. He stood there, crossing his arms over his chest as he thought. How was he supposed to handle everything? How was he supposed to handle the already overwhelming emotions he had for the other man? How was he supposed to live with Roman like they were nothing? He almost wished he hadn't found out. Things were going to be awkward now.

He groaned, telling himself to man up and go home. He had to push the anger down and keep calm at least long enough to learn about his past. If he let his emotions take over, he knew it would only lead to another yelling match.

* * *

Cody quietly stepped into the house long after sun had gone down and the moon hung high in the night sky. He peeked in, most of the lights off, the only one remaining on being the one over the dining room table. He sighed, the photos still spread haphazardly around: Roman must not have touched them. He slipped the borrowed pair of flip flops off, shutting the door just as quietly.

He wondered silently if Roman had gone to bed or if he had left too. He didn't blame the other man for either. It had been a rough, emotional afternoon for both of them. He looked around the living room, pausing when he saw the bigger man laying on the couch, knees bent with one arm under his head, the other tucked into his chest. He took a step closer, heart starting to pound.

He could see why he'd fallen for the other man. Roman was beyond handsome and they shared a lot of the same interests. He thought back to their day at the boardwalk, how they had laughed and joked and just enjoyed being with one another. Roman was gentle with him, never pushing for too much. He always backed off when he was angry, which wasn't often, and they hadn't even raised their voices at each other before their little blow up earlier in the day.

He sucked in a shaky breath, knowing that he had to talk to Roman, without yelling, without accusations. He needed to know their past, even if he never remembered it. He reached out, his trembling hand touching the broad shoulder gently, jerking it back when he saw the pained expression on Roman's sleeping face. His heart jumped, watching as a tear fell from one closed eye.

"I'm sorry Cody," Roman murmured in his sleep, the hand tucked into him coming up to brush against the burning wetness. "I'm so sorry." He mumbled something incoherent.

Cody bit his lower lip, remembering what his mom had said. Maybe Roman had done all of this for him. He didn't want to think about the type of pain that Roman had to feel from being completely forgotten. He felt his stomach do a flip, Roman's outburst after finding out about him and Drew suddenly clear. He bit his lower lip, wondering how deeply he'd wounded Roman with his happiness.

"Roman," he breathed, squatting down, his trembling hand moving up, pushing a few stray locks of stray hair from the handsome face and tucking them behind a bronze ear. He felt lighting shoot through his fingers as his skin glided along Roman's. He couldn't deny his undying attraction. "Hey, Roman, wake up."

Roman's eyes scrunched up before they cracked open. His head ached. His blurry vision cleared after a moment, taking in the soft features of Cody's face. He sat straight up, jerking away. He hadn't expected to see Cody back that night. He was sure that he would've stayed with his parents or Drew. The thought of Cody going to Drew, settling in those arms made him sick to his stomach. He'd had plenty of dreams and memories to last him a lifetime.

"We should talk," Cody eased out, moving to stand. "I'll put on some coffee."

"You have work in the morning," Roman countered, looking up at the clock on the wall, the hands telling him it was close to midnight. He groaned, rubbing his face, reaching back and pulling what little bit of hair that was left in his ponytail out and fixing it back up into a messy bun "You'll be up all night if you have coffee now."

"I already talked to Damien. Apparently he's been waiting for this since the day I came home. He told me to take tomorrow off," Cody answered from the kitchen, pouring water into the coffee machine and turning to where Roman was walking in, a large fist digging into one grey eye. He couldn't help but smile softly, the movements reminding him of a little kid. He looked down at the floor, knowing that had to be serious. He crossed his arms, leaning back against the counter. He wasn't sure where to start. He had to know his past, and if Roman was the only one that could tell him, he was going to have to suck up all his anger and confusion and deal with it.

"I'm sorry," Roman said a moment later, his hand dropping to his side. He turned his back to Cody, walking over to the table and picking up the photos. He tried not to look at them as he picked up the fallen ones and pushed them back into the book. He just wanted to put them away. He really didn't want to see much of anything other than the backs of his eyelids. He was emotionally drained and physically exhausted. He just wanted to sleep.

"Go ahead and leave them. I want to look at them," Cody said gently, noticing how Roman's back tensed up before he stopped clearing the photos from the table. "We're going to be up a while, I hope you don't have anything to do tomorrow." He wasn't going to let Roman brush him off and put off their conversation until the next day. This conversation had been put off long enough.

Roman stood up straight shaking his head. "Not really, I was going to go to lunch with Jay, but he'll understand if I cancel," he answered, turning back towards Cody, nervous and uncomfortable. "I thought you would've wanted to be with Drew right now." He felt ice sink into his chest thinking about the Scot. He didn't know why he'd said anything, the sudden look of confusion on Cody's features eating at him.

Cody shook his head, looking down at the tiled floor. "No, I haven't even talked to him about it," he started, letting out a slow breath. "I doubt you want to hear it, but he tried to push us off for as long as he could."

Roman just looked at Cody, confused at the sudden admission.

Cody nodded, wanting nothing but truth between them, no matter how hard or painful it might be. "Yeah. When I was still in the hospital I asked him to be with me again. He told me to wait until I was out. The day I got to come home, I asked him again. And he told me to wait until I was comfortable. Then when I asked him he didn't have anymore excuses," he explained, barely able to look up into Roman's eyes. Once blue met grey, he felt a sudden chill run through him, the hurt evident in those grey orbs. "I don't want to yell anymore. I just want to know why? If you love me that much, why did you let me go?"

Roman sighed, looking down again. "It's not that simple," he breathed, taking a step towards Cody. It was now or never. He was going to be able to get his feelings out and it was up to Cody to do with them as he pleased. "I saw you everyday while you were out. I would talk to you. I held your hand, praying for you to wake up." He took a breath, voice starting to quake. "I knew you couldn't remember before anyone else. I never told anyone that you asked who I was before you freaked out."

Cody thought hard, the memory of waking up a little fuzzy. He could remember it though. He focused on the hurt look that he'd seen on Roman's handsome face. He bit his tongue lightly, things starting fall into place.

"I just didn't know how bad it was until the next day. We'd barely gotten reintroduced when you asked for Drew. I knew that you two were together, but you never told me what you two had until then," he explained, taking a deep breath.

"How was I supposed to compete with that? Even if I had told you the truth, would you have believed me?" Roman finally asked, closing his eyes, fighting back the impending tears. "I wasn't going to force you into being with me. I'd never do that to you."

Cody's mouth opened to say something, only to be cut off by the coffee pot beeping at him, signaling that the coffee was done brewing. He closed his mouth, turning to the machine. "What else don't I know?" he asked, pouring a cup for him and one for Roman, scooping sugar into his. He felt the air around him tense as Roman stood next to him, taking the black coffee and walking away.

"Seth called me after you left," Roman said, sitting down at the table, taking a sip at the hot, bitter liquid. "You wanted to go through these, we'll go through them." He pulled the album closer to him, setting his mug off to the side.

Cody nodded, grabbing his cup and walking over. "Did he tell you?" he asked, nervous that Seth had let it slip that he was seeing someone for his memories. He wouldn't blame Seth if Roman had told him about their argument, but he had wanted to tell Roman about it in his own time. He bit his lower lip, looking over the slightly confused face.

Roman looked up a little puzzled. "Tell me what?"

Cody shook his head, knowing he had to tell Roman now. "I've been seeing a therapist for my memory. She's the one who recommended looking at photos. I called and asked Seth if there were any pictures and where I could find them," he explained, picking up a photo of Dean and Roman wrestling in a field of tall green grass. "I didn't want you to know about it, so I made him promise not to tell you." He looked up, the dark eyes looking down at the photos. He set the photo down and set his mug off to the side before he pulled back his chair and sat down.

"I see," Roman murmured, delicately picking up a photo. "Where did you want to start? I'll tell you as much as I can." He didn't dare ask why Cody wanted to keep seeing someone a secret. He didn't have the right to ask after everything he'd done. He told himself that over again when he felt the small pang of hurt bubble up after wondering if Cody hadn't trusted him enough to tell him.

Cody wasn't sure where he wanted to start. There was a lot of ground to cover. "Let's start after we met," he breathed, setting the photo down. "We met at Dame's store, what happened after that?" He looked up, Roman's hand moving through the stack of photographs.

Roman gave a soft smile, taking another sip of his coffee. "We exchanged numbers and we spent the next couple months just talking. You were on and off with Drew and Evan and I were on the rocks," he explained, pushing a few photos off to the side, eyes focused, searching. "Whenever we were angry or just needed someone to talk to, we'd call each other." His eyes lit up as he grabbed a photo of them together on the beach with Ted and Dean and a blond woman. "This was our first photo together. Seth was taking pictures at the beach, the girl on the left is Ted's fiancée now."

Cody took the photo, noticing just how short Roman's hair was. It was barely long enough to be pulled back into a tail. He smiled softly, turning the photo over and looking at the date before putting it off to the side. "Then what?" he asked, trying hard to take in as much information as he could. He didn't want to miss any details.

"We had a fight," Roman chuckled, sifting through a few other photos. He looked up into the confused blue eyes. "Yeah, we got into it over Drew and how he was treating you and we didn't talk for over a month." He thought about the argument and how heated it had been. He would've chuckled, thinking that it was probably the closest to the one they'd had earlier than any other one they'd ever had.

Cody looked down at the photos, watching as Roman picked up a few of them during the fall holidays. "Obviously, we made up," he pointed out, taking the pictures and looking over them. He smiled at the Halloween costumes in the first two, noticing that him and Roman weren't together. After seeing all their other pictures together, it was almost odd to see them without the other.

Roman nodded, smiling softly. "Yeah, Seth had this giant Christmas party and invited us. We were so wasted," he laughed, remembering that night perfectly. He continued pushing a few photos away, searching for one in particular that he knew he had. "I was going to apologize to you for being an ass, because I had been an ass, but before I had the chance you kissed me." He found the photo he was looking for and handed it to Cody.

Cody took it, a blush rising on his cheeks as he looked the photo over. He was standing there in blue jeans and a red t-shirt, his hands fisted in Roman's black long sleeved shirt, their lips mashed together in a heated kiss. He could tell that he'd caught Roman off guard, the other man's arms still at his sides. He couldn't believe that he'd been the one to make the first move on the bigger male. "And then what?" he asked gently, setting it down in front of him, a warmth spreading through him. He told his body to suppress the urge to kiss Roman just to know what he'd felt at that moment.

Roman sipped at his coffee, looking down at the photos. "I asked you out," he said simply, blue eyes searching his face. "I'd broken things off with Evan and you and Drew weren't really talking. That's really how we started. It was rough in the beginning but things worked out and I fell hard for you. We moved in together that next spring, right after the Surf Shop opened." He thought back fondly on their first few nights together and how they'd spent them wrapped in each others arms.

He felt his body grow hot and he pushed the memories away, knowing they would only haunt him at that point. He set his cup down and looked up into wide blue eyes. "This isn't just awkward for you. Even though I remember everything, it's not going to change how you feel, and I know that. But I can't be around you and Drew," he said gently, voice taking on a rough edge. He clasped his hands together in his lap under the table. He wouldn't be able to handle being around them.

Cody felt his heart start to race. He understood, but that didn't make the words any easier to hear. He wouldn't know if he'd be able to handle it if he were in the same position. He didn't dare think about if him and Roman were in the others shoes, suddenly thinking about how much it had bothered him that Roman was enjoying someone else's attention on his phone. "Then what are we? Where do we go from here?" he asked, sipping at his sweetened coffee, gripping his warm cup tight. "What do you want me to do?"

Roman shrugged, unsure of where to go or where this was even going to lead them. "I don't know," he breathed, looking down at the spread out photos once again. "I had hoped you would remember before now and this entire thing could have been avoided, but I should've known better. Shit like that only happens in fairy tales." He breathed out a sigh, heart sinking. "I just want you to be happy now."

Cody blew out a soft sigh, setting his cup down and standing. He slowly walked over to where Roman was sitting. He squatted down, gently taking Roman's face in his hands. "None of that's fair to you Roman," he breathed, looking from one tired grey orb to the other. "Can you handle just being my friend after all this time?" It was a question he needed the answer to. If they couldn't just be like they had, where would that leave them?

Roman's heart froze in his chest before it cracked and splintered, shattering completely. He knew the implication of those words: there was no chance of them being together again. He tried not to let the hurt show through. He let a sad smile cross his lips, hands touching the backs of Cody's. He was silent a moment longer, eyes slipping shut. "I've been doing okay so far, haven't I?" he asked gently. He knew it was a cop out, but at that moment, he didn't know what else to say. He didn't know if he could handle just being Cody's friend, but he would try. He couldn't handle losing Cody completely.

Cody forced out a soft smile, body shaking. He hated that he felt a comforting warmth spread through him as he leaned in and wrapped his arms around Roman's neck, pulling him into a hug. He knew he was asking a lot from Roman, but he didn't want to give the other man false hope. Roman had been nothing but good to him, he wasn't going to turn around and treat him like he meant nothing to him. He could feel the shuddery breath on his shoulder, trembling arms slowly wrapping around him. "I'm sorry that this is all I can give you." He really was.

* * *

Dean sat up, grabbing his pack of smokes from the bedside table, bringing it to his lips to pull out a white stick. He flung it back, flicking his lighter to light the end before tossing it back too, the colored plastic clattering on the wooden surface. He breathed in, leaning back against his headboard. He closed his eyes, blowing the smoke out through his nose.

"That's disgusting."

Dean cracked one blue eye open, taking in the sight of the beautiful woman next to him. Even with her bright red lipstick smeared across her lips and her hair a mess she was good looking. "Your point?" he asked, watching as she scrunched up her nose as the floating smoke curled around them, successfully sending her out of his bed.

She stood, flicking her brightly dyed red hair back over her shoulder, reaching for her bra and panties on the floor, pulling them on. "Did you want to meet up again?" she asked, turning to Dean, showing her matching black and red lacey bra and panties. She smiled at him, turning around to bend over and grab her black mini skirt.

"Nope."

She turned back to him, confusion written on her beautiful features, her brown eyes locked on his relaxed face. "What?" she asked, a little taken back at the answer. "What do you mean 'nope'?"

Dean smirked, pulling the smoke from his lips. "I don't want to see you again. I thought I was pretty clear at the bar. I bring you home, we hook up, you leave. Pretty simple," he answered, taking another drag, a small laugh curling at the base of his throat at her darkening look. "It was a one time hook up babe. That's all I'm ever up for."

"You're a pig," she growled, zipping her skirt and pulling on her black ripped up t-shirt. She looked around for her high heels grabbing them and sitting on the edge of the bed to jam them on.

"But I'm a sexy pig," Dean encouraged, sliding down in the sheets just slightly, watching as the anger flared up in the woman. He bit back another laugh as she stood, glaring at him. "Too bad you weren't that feisty in bed."

"Fuck you asshole," she snapped, walking out of the room. "Your dick's fucking small anyway!"

"You weren't saying that when it was down your throat!" he called back, releasing a loud howl of laughter when he heard the front door slam shut. He flicked his ash into the ashtray on his night stand, the roar of an engine and the squealing of tires only making him smile.

He took another hit, his smile slowly fading. He stubbed out his half finished smoke, sitting up, one knee pulled up into his chest. "C'mon out Mox," he called, watching as the white cat almost instantly sauntered into the room, hopping up onto his bed, brushing against him to be petted. "She was pretty lazy."

Moxley looked up at him, her green eye less than interested on Dean's thoughts of his latest consort. She meowed at him, hunching her back up before falling to the side, batting at his hand.

He smirked at her. "You're the only girl for me Mox," he breathed, leaning back against his headboard again, his fingers running through the white fur. "You're the only one that puts up with me anyway." He winced, sharp teeth sinking into his index finger. "That hurts, you know."

Mox only looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes.

Dean chuckled, scratching under her chin. "He still hasn't called me back," he finally said, thoughts moving to Seth once again. "I'd go by, but I know I'd just end up in a fight with that bastard he's with. I don't want him to be anymore pissed off at me than he probably already is." He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, his other hand sliding through his hair, brushing his bangs back. "What should I do?" He was only answered by the soft purring.

* * *

Seth was barely awake as he looked at the photos he'd taken that day. He looked at the clock in the corner of his computer screen, groaning at the time. It was almost two in the morning and he was only half way done with the editing job he'd been assigned. He'd had little to no motivation to finish but it was due by nine. He groaned, guzzling down the sweet energy drink next to him, rubbing at an eye with one fist as he tried to focus.

It was nearly two hours later that Seth had finally finished and emailed the photos in to his boss, finally thinking that he could get some sleep, at least until he was assigned his next project. He stood, rubbing his face as he walked out of his office and into his and Phil's bedroom, the other man sitting in the bed, phone in hand. "Can't sleep?" he asked, stripping down to his boxers before pulling the sheets back and slipping into them. He sighed in relaxation as olive eyes moved over to him.

"Same as every other night," Phil answered, turning off his game and setting his phone on the nightstand. "Get your work done?" He earned a mumbled yes. "Hey, don't go to sleep yet."

Seth's chocolate eyes cracked open, sleep heavily weighing them down. "Okay?" he asked, voice completely exhausted. He could see the confliction in his lover's eyes. "What's wrong?"

Phil shrugged, sinking down into the sheets, squinting in the darkness at Seth's face. He scooted a little closer, wrapping an arm around Seth's waist. The tip of his nose brushed against Seth's. "I'm sorry," he breathed, closing his eyes. "About how I treated you the last time. I was just angry and hurt. Let me make it up to you."

Seth felt his eyes flutter closed. He was fighting to stay awake. He wasn't in the mood to be intimate. He thought about Phil's words, letting them slow sink in. They hadn't had sex since Seth had called out Dean's name. He groaned, dragging one heavy hand over his face. He was still embarrassed. He'd apologized several different times, but each time he'd been ignored. "I'm tired babe," he started, soft lips successfully silencing him. He whimpered, Phil's body pressing against his, the naked, tattooed skin hot.

"Let me take care of you, no return sex required," Phil murmured, his lips moving over Seth's lips, sliding down his soft beard to his neck. He felt the rumble of a moan against his lips as his teeth lightly sunk into the strong column of flesh.

Seth let his body float away in pleasure at Phil's teasing. He felt teeth and tongue roam his neck before settling on his chest, nimble fingers pulling his boxers down and off. He whimpered, Phil moving even lower, lips wrapping around his hard cock. "Baby," he groaned, his hands sliding into the short hair, legs spreading even further. "Dammit."

Phil only smirked around the hardened flesh, swallowing down Seth with ease, his hands kneading the firm cheeks of the other man's ass. He groaned, sending shockwaves through the other man.

Seth laid there, moans spilling from his lips. He didn't know if it was because he was just tired or because he hadn't even touched himself in the last month that had him close in a matter of minutes. His eyes were tightly shut, his mind blank. He was thankful. He didn't want another slip up. He bit his lower lip, barely able to get out a warning before his hips jerked and he was climaxing, Phil's skilled mouth swallowing every bit. He laid there panting.

Phil smiled, licking the last bit of Seth from his lips before squirming up next to the other man, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Sleep well Seth," he breathed, kissing the side of the other man's neck as he pulled him into his arms.

Seth nodded, eyes fluttering shut. He was barely asleep before his entire mind was taken over with images of Dean and thoughts of what he was doing. He missed the other man terribly, knowing that he'd lost one of his best friends. That night, his dreams took him back to Dean, placing smiles on their lips and replacing their awkwardness with laughter. Seth hoped he didn't wake from the dreamland.

* * *

(A/N): So, where do we go from here? Things are a little better between Roman and Cody but Dean and Seth are still stuck… hopefully we'll see something a little better next chapter. Until then loves! Thoughts are appreciated! Onwards and Upwards! Title is Life On Standby by Hawthrone Heights.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	16. Houses Of Cards

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 15.  
**

**Note: Hope you guys are ready for another chapter! (Sorry it's a bit late, I wasn't feeling too great earlier today.) Anyway, I have an odd question for everyone. Do I have any male readers out there? (I'm just curious. Haha) See everyone Monday! Enjoy -JJ**

* * *

_**Houses Of Cards**_

Cody stood staring at the white painted door, his heart pounding in his chest, his brain in a million places. He took a deep breath, raising a fist to knock. He paused, thoughts suddenly going back to the night before. He let the entire night run through his mind, from the anger to the yelling, him punching Roman, for which he still hadn't apologized, to running out and taking a few hours to himself before coming back and letting Roman explain things fully. He blew out a sigh, knowing that he had to do this. He had to get it out in the open that he knew the truth, he knew some of his past; even if he didn't remember it.

A few hard raps of Cody's knuckles and the air stood thick and still, almost suffocating Cody as she stood there, eyes open and focused on the door. He could hear the quick footsteps, the rattling of locks being undone before the door was opened and sleepy, dark blue eyes were on him.

"Cody?" Drew asked, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, looking his boyfriend over. "It's like five in the morning, what are you doing here?" He took a step back, motioning for Cody to step in. "What happened? Did you and Roman get into a fight?"

Cody shook his head, voice suddenly gone. He looked over the handsome face he loved so much as Drew shut the door and shook his head, his loose light brown hair falling into his face. He looked the slightly older male over, noticing that Drew was standing there only wearing his boxers. His cheeks flushed, throat constricting.

"Cody? What's going on? Talk to me babe," Drew tried again, reaching out to take Cody's hand in his, his motions evaded. He was surprised and suddenly worried. If Cody didn't want him to touch him, it was something serious. "Cody?"

"I know the truth," Cody finally said, his voice soft but powerful. He looked down at the dark carpet, jaw tightening, hurt and anger taking over. "I know that you've been lying to me too and I know why."

Drew's eyes widened, heart pounding. He just looked at the shorter male, suddenly afraid that Cody was angry at him. He looked over the unsure face, wondering if Cody had finally remembered. "I see," he breathed, completely at a loss for words. He'd been waiting for this day since the moment he'd been told that Cody had lost the last three years.

"We need to talk," Cody started, looking up into the dark eyes. "But you should put some pants on first." He looked away, walking through the large living room and sitting on the couch. "I'll wait here."

Drew nodded, swallowing hard. This was what he'd been waiting for. It was all going to end as soon as he came back, his fantasy was about to be completely destroyed. He turned, walking back to his room to grab a pair of lounge pants before walking back out, Cody still sitting quietly on his couch. "How much do you hate me?" he asked gently, sure that he was about to get the worst tongue-lashing he'd ever had in his life.

Cody looked up, eyes slightly narrowed. "I don't hate you, I don't think I ever could," Cody answered, the hurt hitting him hard. "But I'm not happy. I'm actually still really pissed off. After everything, you lied to me too. Everyone I know has lied about the last three years of my life. I don't even know who I was." He was trying to keep from yelling, not wanting to end up in another screaming fit.

Drew pushed out a sigh, clasping his hands together as he sat down next to Cody. "You still don't remember?" he asked cautiously, sure that one wrong move would result in either a physicality or even more emotional turmoil.

Cody glared at Drew, shaking his head. "No I don't fucking remember," he snapped, covering his face with his hands, pushing the heels of his hands into his closed eyes. "All I know is that Roman was my boyfriend and both of you have kept me in the dark. Why? Why did you have to lie too Drew?"

"Because Roman asked me to," he answered lamely, running a hand through his loose hair. "I know that it's stupid and you have every right to be mad, but I couldn't tell you the truth. I wanted to, but…." He trailed off, biting his lower lip. He looked over knowing he'd said too much, expectant blue eyes resting on him. There was no going back. "I… I didn't want to lose you again. I know it's stupid and selfish, but I never stopped caring about you. Even after all these years I wanted us to get back together."

"So you thought you would just _use_ me," he asked lowly, nearly snarling, a deep hurtful anger spreading through him. He jumped up, facing Drew, his body shaking. "You just took advantage of the situation I was in. You didn't tell me because of Roman, you lied to benefit yourself!"

Drew looked down at the carpet, pushing out a humorless smile. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he murmured, thinking over his actions. He wasn't angry with Cody's accusations, nor was he surprised at the outburst. He'd known that once Cody had found out that he would be angry and hurt, he'd been expecting this longer than he cared to admit. "I lied because I got to be by your side again. I got to be the one you wanted to be with. I finally got a second chance to fix all the fuck ups from before. I did it because I love you, and for no other reason."

Cody's heart leapt in his chest, those sorrowful blue eyes meeting his. He suddenly felt trapped. His body was shaking, his mind going in so many different directions. He was confused, and hurt.

"If I'd done it just to take advantage of the situation, I would've given in the first time you kissed me. I wouldn't have made you wait. I'm not defending my actions, because they were wrong, but I want you to know it wasn't to take advantage of you," Drew explained, looking down at the floor again. "I'm not lying when I say I still love you."

Cody let out a low hiss, covering his face before dropping his hands and walking to the door. After everything he'd heard from Roman the night before, he didn't want to hear anymore endearing words directed towards him. He just wanted to remember so he could sort things out. "I need some time to think about things. Don't call me, just let me have some space," he said, looking up at Drew, the blue eyes still focused on the carpet. "Right now, I don't know if I can forgive you. This is the lowest shit you've ever done to me, even after everything we've been through."

Drew only nodded, looking up after the door had shut. "That's not true," he murmured, leaning back heavily against the couch. "I've done a lot worse to you and Roman, thankfully you can't throw that in my face too." He groaned, covering his face with his hands, frustrated at himself and the entire situation in general. How did Cody find out? What did Roman tell him? He blew out a growl, thinking that work that day was going to be trying, fuck work, the whole damn day was going to be shit after starting out like that.

* * *

Seth ran a hand through the raven colored locks. He looked down at the off set grey eyes of the man who currently had his head resting in his lap, a comfortable silence floating around them. He could tell that Roman was emotionally and mentally drained, and the dark circles that were beginning under his eyes only confirmed it. He didn't dare think of the bruise on Roman's cheek, knowing it had to be from the night before.

He pushed out a sigh, fingers raking through the thick mane again, gently untangling any knots that may have settled in from the night before. "Talk to me Rome," he started, looking right into the grey eyes of his best friend. "What happened?" He knew whatever had happened the night before had to have been rough. He had heard it in Roman's voice when he called.

"I don't want to talk about it," Roman groaned, looking up into concerned chocolate orbs. "He was already gone when I woke up. I don't know where he is, what he thinks, how he feels." He groaned, covering his face with both hands. "I'm fucked Seth. I'm so fucking fucked!" He kicked the arm of the couch, finding no comfort in the little expression of frustration.

"Don't say that," Seth eased, raking his short nails over Roman's scalp. "At least he's talking to you." He was trying to be encouraging, but he knew that it was going no where. Easily, he ran his fingers through the long hair again, listening to the rumble of thunder outside grow. He sighed, letting his head rest back against the couch, his eyes closing. "We're both fucked buddy. We're both fucked." He'd tried hard not to think about Dean or what had happened, but still found it hard not to answer his calls or texts.

"What happened?" Roman asked, cocking his head to the side, Seth's hand stilling in his hair. He knew that look, he knew something had happened, something big. "Seth, what happened?" He sat up, uncaring that his hair had fallen into his face, obviously more than a little anxious. His worries were forgotten, thankful for the slight emotional break in his own life and problems.

"I did something really fucking stupid." Seth's voice was barely above a whisper, his fingers starting to pick at each other in his empty lap. He let his eyes open and he looked down at them. He told Roman what had happened between him and Dean, pausing at the end as tears clouded his vision. "And now, I don't think I can talk to him."

"All because you fucked up? Jesus Seth, you know Dean's probably going nuts right now because he hasn't heard from you," Roman growled, rubbing his face hard with both hands. At least now he knew why he hadn't heard from Seth.

"That's not why I can't answer his calls," Seth murmured, biting his lower lip. "I did something worse and it's probably better that I don't talk to him anytime soon." He looked up into Roman's confused face. He felt his cheeks heat up, suddenly embarrassed to be admitting it. "I… um… I… I kinda… called out his name while… while me and Phil were having sex." He looked back down at his hands.

Roman felt a chuckle bubble up in him, making the corners of his lips turn up into a smile. He tried to fight it off only to be unsuccessful, letting out the laugh just as a slow roll of rumbling thunder filled the air. "When are you going to leave that asshole, completely? Seth, we've had this conversation plenty of times. You obviously have feelings for Dean, why are you letting Punk use you like he does?"

Seth shrugged, almost feeling bad for not defending his boyfriend. "I love him and he loves me, that's how it's supposed to be right?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest, looking in the opposite direction away from Roman. "I don't think I'd even know how to start over."

Roman shook his head, wrapping his arm around Seth's shoulders, pulling him into a one armed hug. "Seth, listen to me. Whatever you and Punk have isn't love, not anymore. He treats you like crap most of the time. I'll admit, at first he pretty much worshiped the ground you walked on, but now…. I don't know what changed, but he's not the same. You don't deserve to be yanked around like that." He paused, Cody suddenly coming to mind. He thought about the lies, the deception, suddenly thinking about how Cody must be feeling. "No one does."

Seth only shrugged, looking up into the far off grey eyes, knowing full well that Roman's mind wasn't on him and Phil anymore. "You're thinking about him aren't you?" he asked gently, relaxing into Roman's warm, brotherly embrace. "He'll come back Rome. He has to. Where else can he go?"

Roman's heart skipped a beat, the possibilities nearly endless, but there was only one place that scared him the most. "Drew," he murmured, biting his lower lip. "I don't know if he's told you, but they're back together."

Seth yanked away from Roman, grabbing the strong jaw between his hands. "What?" he asked, searching for the spark of a lie in the downcast steel eyes. "How could you let him…?" He stopped, watching tears build up. "Oh Rome, I didn't mean… shit." He wrapped his arms around Roman's shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug. "I'm sorry." His heart ached for Roman.

"Don't be, it's my fault. All of this is my fault, this is just the consequences," he mumbled, arms sliding around Seth, suddenly thankful for how affectionate Seth could really be. He was angry with himself, angry with fate, angry with everything that he'd caused. "Promise, that you'll talk to Dean. You know, if he didn't just jump on you, he sees more out of you."

Seth felt his cheeks heat up, his arms tightening around Roman. He didn't want to think about it at that moment. He just wanted to sit there comforting Roman, enjoying the warm friendly embrace between them. They both needed it.

* * *

That evening, Roman stood outside the garage bay, watching as Dean finished up the last bit of work under the hood of the truck he was working on. He looked up in the dreary sky, the dark clouds threatening rain, the low rumble of thunder only adding to the promise. He'd been waiting all day for the rain to start, but still not a drop had fallen, leaving the sky overcast and dark.

He crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the white siding. He was silent, turning his attention to the street, watching as numerous cars passed by. It was late evening, and the sun was finally starting to set, not that anyone could see the beautiful orange globe as it sank.

He had parted ways with Seth a few hours before, giving him time to take a short, restless nap on the couch. He'd been waiting for Cody to come home, only to feel like he was going stir crazy, that's when he'd called and left a message on Dean's phone for them to meet up and hang out. At least he was out of the house and it would give him the chance to talk to Dean about Seth, which was the real reason he called Dean in the first place.

"Ready?" Dean asked a few minutes later, unzipping his blue coveralls and yanking his arms out before stepping out of them. He draped it over his arm, enjoying the cool breeze against his hot skin. "Let's go get a drink, we're both gonna need it."

Roman nodded, pushing off of the wall and following behind Dean. He waited as the other man threw his work clothes into his truck and grabbed his pack of smokes. He waited until Dean had lit up before he spoke. "Where did you want to meet at? And go home and shower first," he said, cracking a half smile at his best friend.

"You just wanna come over to my place? It's cheaper and I don't want people overhearing," Dean said, shrugging, crossing hands over his chest. "You can pick up a pack of beer on the way, it'll give me a minute to grab a shower."

Roman nodded, shaking his head at the nervous way Dean took a drag from his smoke. He went to say something, stopping only when he saw the dark and slightly confused look in the tired blue eyes. "I'll be over in a few," he said gently, turning his back to Dean and walking back to his car, listening as Dean's truck started.

Fifteen minutes later Roman was leaning back on Dean's couch, the sound of water still running in the shower. He cocked his head to the side, watching as Moxley looked him over, the tip of her white tail swaying back and forth, her eyes narrowed on him. "You're a strange cat Mox," he chuckled, shaking his head. "C'mere."

Moxley only turned up her nose and walked past him, strutting over to the chair that was next to the couch and jumped up into it. She spared Roman another look before she curled up and laid down, her green eye watching him closely.

"She doesn't like many people, don't take it to heart," Dean said a few minutes later, walking in and almost laughing at the way Roman's grey eyes were focused on Mox's green one. "Actually, I think Seth's about the only other person she'll even let touch her." He wanted to chuckle at the musing, but instead it only left an ache in his chest. He shook his head, telling himself not to think about the other male as he toweled his hair off, letting the black towel hang over his shoulders, dampening the thick straps of his grey tang top.

"Have you talked to Seth lately?" Roman asked, holding out the second beer for Dean to take as he came closer, the rest of their stock already put away in the fridge. "Today was the first time I'd heard from him in about a month."

Dean popped the tab and took a deep drink, flopping down next to Roman and sighing. He set his open beer on the coffee table, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his head hung. "I did some pretty stupid shit," he admitted, throwing out a bitter chuckle. He wasn't thinking about Roman sitting there as he played that night over again, still wishing that his anger hadn't gotten the better of him and he hadn't thrown the glass ashtray. If he'd only waited, been calmer. "He was right fucking here and I… I just couldn't fucking say it."

Roman's eyes widened, taking a sip from his already open beer. "I know what happened," he said gently, resting a hand on the hunched shoulder. His heart thumped uncomfortably in his chest, the look of complete anguish on Dean's face uncomfortable and strange. He'd only seen Dean look that way a handful of times in their lives, and it took a lot to make him break down that far.

Dean only blew out a low growl, taking another long drink before setting the near empty bottle down and looked over at Roman with soft, sad eyes. "I had the perfect chance and I fucked it up. I missed it Rome, I fucking missed my chance," he groaned, watching as Moxley walked over and brushed against his leg. He smirked at her, taking in the little show of comfort.

Roman shook his head. "No, you didn't," he answered, smiling, dark eyes flashing at him. "You and Seth are a mess. After all these years, neither of you have gotten any smarter." He chuckled, Dean's glare only intensifying.

"Don't make fun of me Rome, it's not fucking funny," Dean growled, gabbing his beer and finishing it off, setting the empty bottle back down on the coffee table. "We're not all so great with words like you."

Roman shrugged, brushing off the sting of Dean's heated comment. "If I was so good with words I wouldn't be sitting here wondering why my life is going down the drain," he answered, smile dropping as he took a drink of his beer. He bit his lower lip gently, looking over into apologetic blue eyes. "Don't doubt yourself so much Dean. This is Seth we're talking about, the same scrawny kid we saved in junior high from getting his lunch money stolen. The same guy you've loved since day one. He's not going to leave you like everyone else, hell Moxley likes him, and that bitch hates everyone." He gave off a small chuckle, giving Dean an encouraging smile.

"Thanks Rome," Dean murmured, standing and walking into his kitchen, pulling out two fresh beers for them, eyes flicking over the light bruise on Roman's cheek. "So, what happened to your face anyway?" He handed over one beer before sitting back down, pulling the towel from around his neck and tossing it over the arm of the couch.

"Cody punched me," Roman admitted, shrugging as he put the unopened beer on the coffee table.

"What? Cody'd never fucking do that!" Dean exclaimed, giving Roman a look of disbelief. "Besides, what the hell would you do for him to ever hit you?" He popped the top and took a drink, shaking his head.

"I told him the truth."

Dean nearly choked on his beer, lurching forward to keep from spilling on his couch. He coughed, swallowing the mouthful before looking over at Roman, eyes wide. "What do you mean you told him the truth?" he asked, eyes darting from one grey eye to the other. "What the hell happened?"

Roman leaned back, slouching just slightly as he looked down at his nearly finished bottle in his hands. "He's been seeing a therapist and whoever it was told him to look a pictures to help his memories come back. Seth told him where the photo album was and when I came home, everything went to shit. Besides him pretty much calling me a lying piece of shit, he made it clear that we were never going to be together again. And somewhere in there he punched me," he explained, downing the last bit in is bottle. He set it on the coffee table and opened his second one, chugging down half in one go. "Don't waste anymore time questioning things Dean. Don't wait until it's too late."

Dean nodded, unable to bring himself to do anything else. "I'm sorry man," he breathed, looking down at the floor, mind mulling everything over. "He told me he's with Drew again. If you need a place to crash or something, you know the couch is always free."

Roman pushed out a smile. "Thanks, but this is something I have to deal with. I made this mess, now I have to clean it up somehow," he answered, breathing deep. "Funny thing is, I went to bed at four this morning and I haven't seen him since. I don't know where things are going to go now."

* * *

Cody felt the heavy rain cascade down on him as he stepped out of his car, his blue eyes landing on his and Roman's house. He closed the door, uncaring of his clothes get completely drenched. He swallowed hard, fear and confusion settling in him. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be there or not. He started up the walk at a snail's pace, mind working in overload. He'd spent the day alone, trying to think and put the pictures with dreams, hoping that something would line up and help him remember something, anything from the last three years. Nothing helped. He blew out a sigh, touching the door knob gently before turning it and pushing it open. He stood in the doorway, clothes soaked and dripping on the tile entrance.

Roman looked up from his spot on the couch; book in hand. Grey eyes met blue and he looked away before standing, leaving his book on the cushion. His heart was pounding, the intense look of confusion and overall defeat overwhelming on Cody. He walked into the bathroom, grabbing a towel and returning to where Cody was still standing silently. "Here," he breathed gently, holding the bath towel out for Cody to take. "I haven't made anything for dinner yet. If you're hungry…."

"No, I'm fine," Cody muttered, gently taking the offered towel and wiping his face. When the towel left his line of vision he could see Roman grabbing his book and leaving for the hallway. He only watched, conflicting emotions filling him. Even after the night before he was still angry, but at the same time he just wanted to be wrapped up in the strong arms and forget about the world. He just wanted a little comfort after the day he'd had. He groaned, pulling his shirt off. He toweled off slightly as he undid his belt and dropped his jeans and boxers to the floor, wrapping the towel around his waist. He had a lot he wanted to talk to Roman about, but first he needed to put his clothes in the dryer and get into something clean and dry.

Once he'd pulled on a pair of shorts and a tang top he stood in front of Roman's door, hands shaking. They needed to talk. He knocked lightly. "Roman?" he questioned, taking a step back, lower lip falling victim between his teeth. "I… I need to talk to you." He waited a moment, the door opening, showing the tall Samoan man, who had his eyes curiously on him.

Roman looked off to the side, barely able to hold Cody's gaze. "What's up?" he asked softly, hand trembling on the door knob. He waited for an answer, only to look back at the silent face. "Cody?"

"Did you put the photo album away?" he asked, rubbing his upper arm gently, suddenly feeling nervous. "I wanted to go through some more pictures. I want…" he paused, taking in the words. "I _need _to know more about who I was. And no one knows more than you."

Roman felt his heart pound as he looked down at their feet. "It's still on the table," he breathed, watching as Cody turned and walked away. He blew out a slow breath, wanting nothing more than to follow and wrap his arms around Cody. He held off, looking up only when he heard his name fall from the other man's mouth.

"You coming?" Cody asked, looking towards their dining room. "I can't do this alone Roman, I need someone to explain things."

Roman felt the words stab him right in his chest. He nodded, following Cody into the kitchen, the black album still sitting where they'd left it, the only difference being that the photos were neatly stacked inside. He silently sat down, looking across the table at where Cody sat. They shared a look, neither knowing exactly what to say.

Cody's eyes widened when he noticed the fading bruise on Roman's cheek, the same cheek he'd hit. "I'm sorry," he breathed, eyes lowering to the table, hands fiddling in his lap.

Roman was surprised and confused. There was nothing for Cody to be sorry for. "For what?" he asked, voice soft and miniscule. "I'm the one that did this."

"For punching you, I… I've never…"

"No, I deserved it," Roman interrupted, touching his still tender cheek. "After everything, I'm a little surprised that this is all you did. I wouldn't blame you for tearing into me."

Cody only let out a sigh, smiling. He didn't understand why those words comforted him. He looked over the handsome face, wondering if he'd ever understand the feelings that Roman sent through him and his body. He hated that he couldn't remember, it seemed like he'd found a good man. He hated that thought, he didn't want to think about him and Roman, even if he ever did fully forgive Roman for everything, how the hell was he supposed to compete with himself?

* * *

(A/N): Just so everyone knows, I hate this chapter. I know that there's a lot in it, but it took me for fucking ever to work on it. I had no idea where to go. I know where I want to be, but getting there I had some trouble. So, yes, fuck this chapter. I hope everyone likes it, but I'm just done with it. So, anyway, thoughts? Let me know loves. And finally, onwards and upwards! Title is Houses Of Cards by Zeromancer.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	17. Bittersweet Sundown

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 16.  
**

**Note: I have some good news and some bad news this time around loves. Good news is, a lot of you are going to like this chapter! Bad news is that I will not be updating on Friday. I'm slowly running out of steam and running into some plot problems that need some serious work. I'm also dealing with some personal issues with, who I thought was, a close friend and her upcoming wedding. Sadly, the extra stress just zaps my energy and there are days that I can barely focus on doing daily tasks, let alone try to write. So, I do apologize, I just need a little extra time to recharge my batteries. I'll see everyone again on Monday though! Thank you for all of your support loves! Enjoy! -JJ**

* * *

_**Bittersweet Sundown**_

Cody smiled, looking at another photo, taking in every word of Roman's explanation. He reached out, taking it into his hands and looking over everyone in it. He'd learned a few things in the last week or so. Him and Roman had made it a nightly ritual to sit with each other and go through photos at the table after dinner. He was happy to find out that nothing bad had happened in the last three years, at least with his friends and family. His father had lost a significant amount of weight, he'd been blessed with a niece and a nephew during that time, and he'd still been happily working at Damien's bookstore.

He handed the photo back, Roman setting a few off to the side. He reached for them, heart pounding when he realized that they were photos of him and Roman. "You aren't going to explain these?" he asked gently, fingering the edge of one.

Roman looked down at them, shaking his head. "Lets take a break," he murmured, standing and walking into the kitchen. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell Cody about their history, he just didn't want to relive those happy memories knowing that they would only be memories. He poured himself a glass of cold water, leaning against the counters as he took a slow drink.

"When we agreed to this, I kind of expected you to explain everything, including our relationship," Cody finally said, scooting his chair out and walking over to the counters. He leaned forward on his hands, looking over the bigger man. "It was a big part of everything, wasn't it?" He hoped a little pushing would force Roman into explaining more.

Roman only sighed gently, looking down into his glass, the last little bit of water swirling around the bottom. "Look, I know that this is something you need to know, but that doesn't make it any easier on me," he answered, looking up into slightly taken back blue eyes. "You're just listening to memories, I actually relive them." He wasn't trying to be an ass to Cody, but there was only so much he could take; and remembering how much love they shared was still painful.

Cody looked down at his hands, feeling just a little ashamed. He hadn't been thinking about Roman or how things could be affecting him. "I'm sorry," he whispered, biting his lower lip gently. "I didn't mean…"

"Just give me some time. I told you before that I would explain everything as best as I could, but I can't just look at our life and analyze it like it was nothing," Roman interrupted, finishing off the glass of water and setting the glass in the sink. "It's getting late."

Cody looked up to the clock on the wall, the hands reading that it was almost eleven. He sighed, standing up straight. "Yeah, I guess," he muttered, shrugging. He wanted to know more. He needed to know more. He had a thought. He'd heard about his family, his friends, but he hadn't heard a word about Roman's. "Tell me about your side."

"Hm?" Roman was a little confused as he looked over at Cody. "What do you mean my side?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the counter. "We're working on your past not mine."

"I know, but I want to know more about you too. Being with you changed me, I can see that it the photos we're together in. Don't tell me you're the same as when we met," Cody explained, looking down at his hands. "I know it's not all happy, especially if I ruined your relationship with your dad. It's been bugging me since you said it."

Roman blew out a sigh, walking away from the sink and back to where he'd been sitting. He shuffled through a few pictures and pushed one towards Cody's chair, waiting for the smaller male to sit back down. "That's my dad: Sika," he explained, eyes landing hard on the man's less than happy face. "It wasn't completely your fault that our relationship ended up this way."

"But I had something to do with it?"

Roman shrugged. "It's because you're a man," he murmured, leaning back in the chair. "He likes you as a person, but he doesn't like us together. We got into plenty of fights over it." He felt the dull ache in his chest as he spoke, remembering just how close him and his dad had been before Cody. They'd been best friends, any problem Roman had he could easily go to his dad and talk to him. He missed it more than he wanted to admit.

"Oh." It was all Cody could say. He felt a little guilty, looking into the dark bronze face. "You look just like him," he whispered, looking up from the picture to Roman. "I don't know if I said it before, but I'm sorry. Maybe now you and him can repair your relationship."

Roman shook his head. "I doubt it. He knows how I feel, and that's not going to change anytime soon," he admitted, turning so he couldn't see those surprised blue eyes on him. "I know you can't remember and that an 'us' will never happen again, but that doesn't mean I can turn my feelings off. It's going to take a little time."

Cody felt his heart start to speed up in his chest. He didn't stop Roman when he stood. He just sat there looking at the photos. "How does your mom feel about it?" he asked, a sudden panic filling him. He didn't want Roman to walk away from him again. Even after everything, he still couldn't shake the want to be closer to him.

"About what?" Roman asked, turning back to where Cody was sitting, blue orbs focused on the table. "About now? About me? About you?" He stood there, mouth dry. He wanted to know what Cody was thinking more than anything.

"About us," Cody murmured, voice low. He looked up, darkened grey eyes looking away. "About what we were." He felt the need to clarify, since there wasn't an 'us' between him and Roman any longer.

"She loves you," Roman answered softly, crossing his arms over his chest, jaw tightening. "She was supportive when we were together. She tried to make my dad see that I…." He stopped, shaking his head. "It doesn't matter. All that's over now." He turned his back to Cody, making his way out of the room. He didn't want to discuss any of it with Cody. He hated the idea of picking apart his and Cody's relationship just to explain it, especially when he was still clinging onto the hope that one day Cody would just remember him. He turned, starting towards his room.

"Roman," Cody called gently, standing. He waited until those grey eyes were on him, his body shaking, heart pounding at the intensity set in them. He couldn't get the words out that he wanted as he searched those steel orbs for some kind of help. He bit his lower lip, looking down at his sock clad feet. "Thank you."

"Nothing to thank me for. I'm just doing what I should've done in the beginning," Roman answered, voice soft as he turned back to his room. "I start classes in a couple weeks. I won't be able to stay up too late with you anymore."

* * *

Dean had been mulling everything Roman had said over in his mind. He was tired of fighting his feelings, fighting his past that constantly held him back. He wanted to take the chance and actually put himself out there. He grabbed for his phone beside him on his couch, stubbing his half smoked cigarette out in the ashtray as he pushed on Seth's number. He waited for the voicemail to pick up, knowing Seth wouldn't answer him. He smirked once he heard the tone. "I'm coming over. Don't act like you aren't home," he rumbled, voice low and gravelly. He hung up, grabbing the t-shirt next to him and pulling it on.

The drive went faster than Dean thought it would. His thoughts were swirling all around in his mind, questions and uncertainties filling him. He knew seeing Seth could end in one of two ways. Either he was going to get rejected and lose his best friend or Seth was going to let him in. He hoped for the latter of the two, but he knew better than to force the issue. He was going to have to play according to Seth's rules or else risking more damage.

He pulled into the apartment complex's drive, another half smoked cigarette dangling from his lips. He was nervous. He knew Punk would be at the tattoo parlor and he hoped that it would be Seth's day off. He knew it was always hit and miss with Seth and his work. He didn't have much of a set schedule, just when assignments were due and the few mandatory days he actually had to be in at the studio.

He took a deep drag, letting the nicotine course through him, slowing his rapid heartbeat only slightly. He pulled it from his lips and flicked it away as he parked and got out, looking around before walking into one of the labeled buildings. He took the three flights of stairs to Seth and Phil's door two at a time, something inside of him driving him to get to Seth as quickly as he could.

His lunges burned, the actual trip fairly short but the mix of sudden adrenaline and nerves making his heart pound so hard he was sure it was going to burst. He stood numb at Seth's door, jaw tight and throat constricted around the words he knew needed to be said. He raised a hand, rapping his knuckles against the heavy door loudly. He waited, the sound of his raging heart the only thing he could hear.

Seth opened the door, peeking out at Dean, his chocolate eyes wide and full of surprise. He'd expected Dean, he'd heard the message, what he wasn't prepared for was the look that Dean had. He couldn't explain the range of emotions that set on that beautiful face. He went to open the door wider, only for Dean to crash into his apartment, the door slamming shut as they stood there staring at one another. "Hi," he whispered in greeting, looking down at the floor. He didn't look down for long, Dean's calloused hand grasping his chin firmly and turning it up so their eyes met.

"We need to talk," Dean said lowly, his eyes narrowing on another small bruise on Seth's temple, the pulled back hair barely covering it. "Now." He could feel the shiver that ran through Seth as he stepped closer, leaving barely air between the front of their bodies. "You've ignored me for long enough."

"Not here," Seth barely managed to gasp out, his shaking hands numbly coming up to touch Dean's hand. He pulled away gently, Dean releasing him without any fight. "Phil'll be home for lunch."

"Fuck him!" Dean spat, hands shaking at his side. "I don't give a damn if he hears this or not Seth." His piercing blue eyes narrowed even further as Seth turned away from him, one hand running over the slightly over grown growth of his beard.

"I do though," he answered, voice raising just enough for Dean to hear him. "Let me change, I'll be out in a minute." He turned, looking over the other man, taking in the white t-shirt and dark blue jeans that hugged the strong thighs of the other man just right. He walked into his bedroom, closing the door and pausing.

His entire body was shaking as he pulled the black tang top over his head and stripped of his black and white lounge pants, letting them create a pile on the floor right in front of the door. He walked around the room in a pair of tight dark blue boxer briefs, yanking a pair of black skinny jeans from his closet and pulling them on. He fastened them and searched for a shirt, finding a white and blue one that hugged his chest perfectly.

He wasn't trying to dress up for Dean, but if this was going to end badly, which he had a feeling it would, he wanted to leave a lasting impression in Dean's memory. He sucked in a deep breath, pulling his hair free, brushing it with his fingers before pulling it back up, letting it hang in a tail instead of his usual bun. He looked over himself, thinking that he looked good enough before he stepped out, his eyes instantly going to where he'd left Dean standing.

Dean looked up, still rooted to his spot, arms crossed over his chest. He felt his mouth go dry as his heart pounded. The jeans hugged every curve of Seth's legs, and he assumed his ass since he hadn't had the opportunity to see. He let his eyes trail up the broad chest, the thin material stretching perfectly. He didn't have words for how good Seth looked.

"Let's go to your place," Seth murmured, slipping on a pair of flip flops and grabbing his keys from the kitchen, leading Dean back towards the door. "You said you wanted to talk and the only one there is Moxley."

Dean only nodded, following behind Seth as they left the apartment, Seth leaving his cell on the counter. He led Seth to his truck once they were at the bottom of the stairs, his chest oddly tight as they started out of the complex. His adrenaline was starting to slow and nerves were starting to set in. He looked over, chocolate eyes focused on passenger side window. He reached over, brushing his fingers along the back of Seth's hand.

Seth jumped, jerking his hand back. He looked over, surprised eyes meeting Dean's before falling to the bench seat. "I'm sorry," he whispered, breathing quickening. He scooted just a little closer to the door, teeth sinking into his lower lip as he looked back out the window. How could he say he was nervous? He was going to lose his best friend and he could barely handle that.

Dean pulled into his driveway, turning the truck off and got out. He waited for Seth, wanting them to hurry inside. He reached out for Seth's hand, pulling him up the walk and into the unlocked door. He slammed the door shut, his blue eyes looking down into averted chocolate ones. "Look at me," he breathed, cupping Seth's face and gently tipping it up so their eyes could meet. His jaw tightened, the words he'd been thinking of over the last month suddenly gone, leaving him completely blank. He looked from one eye to the other, searching for his lost words in their endless depths.

"Just say it Dean," Seth whispered, pulling free from the tender touch. "Just tell me you don't want to see me." He looked down at the floor, pain shooting through his chest. He knew it was coming. He'd been waiting for the words longer than he cared to admit. After his blunder that night, he wouldn't want to speak to him either. "I'm sorry about that night. So I understand if…."

"That's not why I wanted to talk to you," Dean interrupted, taking a step closer to Seth, almost confused at Seth's words. "If I didn't want to see you, I wouldn't have called you almost everyday, I wouldn't have text you. If that night had been the end of it, I wouldn't have brought you here." His voice was soft, calm the complete opposite of the emotional storm raging inside him.

"Then why am I here Dean?"

Dean swallowed hard, jaw tight as he thought of the words. "I had a shit childhood. My mother loved booze and drugs more than she ever loved me. I've never met my dad and he'd probably just trade me off like she did for a fix. I know I'm shit at saying things the right way, but that's because no one's taught me how," he admitted, taking another step closer to Seth, the smaller man backing away. "I've never felt this way before Seth. Something about you makes me this way."

Seth took one last step back, his back pressed against the living room wall. "Dean?" he questioned, swallowing hard. "What are you saying?" He didn't dare look up, sure that everything around him was a dream. There was no way, even in his wildest dreams that Dean was telling him what he thought he was.

"I'm saying that I…" Dean paused the words sticking in his throat. He'd never uttered those words to anyone before. His heart pounded in his chest, his hands coming up to rest on Seth's shoulders, as he stepped closer, pulling them together in a tight hug. "I'm saying I love you, you idiot." His eyes closed, heart nearly exploding as he held Seth to him.

Seth bit his lower lip, his hands shaking as they rose and clung to the back of Dean's t-shirt. He buried his face in the strong neck, taking in the masculine scent he loved. He couldn't believe his ears.

"I wasn't mad that you wanted more that night Seth. I was mad because you were acting like you were a cheap whore. You aren't like the people I bring home to fuck. They're nothing. You're something to me and I… I don't want to fuck that up. I want you to be with me and not just physically."

Seth relaxed in Dean's arms, a small smile spreading across his lips. He let himself rest there for a minute, letting all thoughts leave him. He felt lips against his cheek and he reluctantly pulled back, tears sparkling in his big eyes. "I can't," he whispered, pushing Dean away gently. He barely had the strength in his arms as he felt Dean step back. "I love Phil. I can't just leave him like this."

Dean blew out a heated breath, shoving his hands in his pockets. He felt the intense urge to light up. He turned, grabbing the open pack from the coffee table. He pulled a smoke out and put it to his lips, furiously trying to spark his lighter. Once it spit out a flame and the end was lit he threw it down, uncaring of where it went. He took a drag, looking to where Seth was still standing, back against the wall. "So what do you want? Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know," he answered softly, looking up. "I want you, I want this but he loves me too. I've done enough to him, I can't just leave." He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest, wrinkling his nose at the offending odor of Dean's cigarette.

Dean pulled the smoke from his lips, walking over to Seth and pressing a soft kiss to his lips, his eyes closing as his dry lips met soft ones. His heart leapt up to his throat as Seth's mouth opened for him, their hot tongues meeting. He tilted his head further to the side, pushing Seth against the wall, easily devouring Seth's mouth; claiming it as his own. He pulled back a little breathless, something about the smaller male sucking his breath clean from his lungs. "I'll wait for you," he gasped, those chocolate eyes widening. "I've been wanting to tell you since we were kids, I can wait a little longer for you."

* * *

_Cody looked up into the blurred face, tears running thick down his cheeks. "Don't go!" he cried, the other man turning away from him and walking away. "I didn't do it to hurt you!" He took a step, his legs weak as he started to run, his body numb as he caught up, his arms wrapping around the bigger man's waist, his face resting in his back._

_The other man was silent, his body shaking as he stood there, breathing uneven and harsh. One hand moved up to touch Cody's, which were clasped firming around his waist, keeping them together. "Let go." His distorted voice was uneven and cracked as he forced Cody's hands to break apart, releasing him. "I'm not putting my heart on the line just for you to break it. If he's what you want, then tell me now."_

_Cody shook his head, biting his lower lip as the other man turned to him. "I want you," he breathed, looking up, his body begging for the other man to stay with him. "I was being stupid. He just said all the right things and I… I couldn't…."_

"_Then just go back," he growled, stepping back just as Cody took a step towards him. "Just fucking go back! You love him right? He's what you want, why else would you ditch me for him to fuck you?"_

_A cold wind blew between them, heated stares and unspoken words fueling them. Both stood there, silent as their eyes met, having a conversation of their own that neither understood._

_Cody was the first to break, his eyes falling to the ground, his fists tight at his side. This was not how he wanted to say it. _

"Cody!" Roman snapped, shaking Cody a little rougher, his concerned eyes filling with relief when he saw the blue eyes flutter open, Cody's hand coming up to press against his face.

"What the hell's going on?" he asked, the dream so fresh in his memory. He sat up, looking into the worried face, pushing Roman away. He leapt off the couch, running into his room and grabbing the notebook and pencil on his bedside table. He scribbled all the details that he could remember down, the fear and anguish of rejection still fresh.

Roman stood in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched silently. "Well, I'm glad you're okay," he muttered, leaning to one side, watery blue eyes looking back at him. His heart lurched, his body begging him to walk over and brush away the tears that were still clinging to Cody's cheeks. "You were having a nightmare."

"I was having a memory," Cody corrected, sighing as he finished the last few words and shut the notebook, noticing that he was going to have to buy a new one soon. He was still having his dreams pretty frequently but nothing in them had changed, people were still blurred out and they were getting longer, which took up more paper.

"M-memory?" Roman questioned, pushing back the small glimmer of hope that was slowly settling in his chest. Could it be that Cody was remembering things and soon he'd be the man he'd fallen for again?

"Well, sort of." Cody set the book back on his nightstand, running his hands over his face, surprised at the wetness he felt. He jerked back, looking at his dampened hands, shaking his head. "Why'd you wake me up?"

"You were screaming and crying, I thought it was a nightmare," Roman answered, looking down at the floor. He wanted to ask about Cody's dreams, his memories, but he didn't want to over step. He'd done enough to make Cody angry with him to last a lifetime, he didn't want to make things any worse between them than they already were.

"It seemed like one," he groaned, laying back on his pillows, letting what details he could remember float through him. "I talk about them in therapy, Gail thinks they're memories because they feel so real. She tells me to write them down." He looked up at the bigger man, who at that moment was leaning against the door frame, his eyes lowered to the ground.

Cody wanted nothing more than to ask Roman if they'd ever argued, if he'd been the one that he'd been begging not to go. He bit his lower lip, trying to build the courage. He went to say something, Roman straightening up.

"Dinner'll be done in a few minutes," Roman suddenly said, turning away from Cody, putting a little distance between them. He started down the hall, stopping only when he felt Cody's hands on his arm, pulling him back just a step or two. He tried to ignore the fire that burned between them, the look of intense questioning on Cody's face.

"Did we ever fight or argue? About anything, anything at all?" he asked, almost gasping out the words. He needed to know, he had to. He felt his heart pounding against his sternum. He knew Roman wouldn't lie. He hoped that whatever answer Roman gave him would give him some kind of answer to who was in his dreams and why they were arguing.

"We had some pretty heated ones," he admitted, trying gently to pull free from Cody's hands, barely able to fight off the electricity that was shooting through him just from the desperate touch. "Why?"

Cody went to tell Roman his dream, only to stop, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious about what he'd been yelling about in the dream. "Was I," he paused; quickly thinking over the words he wanted to use. "Was I faithful? While we were together, did I ever…." He trailed off, hoping Roman would understand.

Roman's eyes widened, jaw tightening. He closed his eyes, shaking his head. "From what I know; no. You never cheated on me," he answered, tugging free from Cody's lax hold, taking a step back. "Was that your dream?"

Cody shrugged, mulling over the possibilities. He'd wanted to say something while they'd been arguing. He'd known the words right when he'd woken up, but at that moment even the end was fuzzy and he couldn't remember at all what it was that he'd planned to say. "I… I don't know. We were arguing, and it was over that kind of thing."

"We, as in me and you, were arguing?" Roman questioned, confused as his heart pounded, him and Cody had argued about something similar long before they started dating.

"I don't know," Cody answered, covering his face with his hands and rubbing hard. "I don't know who it is. He's blurred out and I can't make out his voice. It could be you; it could be Drew. It could be anyone." A sudden thought hit him, the words he'd wanted to say finally coming to mind. "When did I first tell you I loved you?"

Roman stood there, biting his lower lip. "I don't want to talk about that right now," he breathed, turning his back to Cody before walking away, leaving Cody standing there in the hallway confused and frustrated.

* * *

(A/N): Well, that's a lot for this chapter. I'm not totally sold on the title, but eh, what can ya do? Anyway, Roman and Cody are doing a bit better, sorta, and Dean and Seth are talking again! Yay! Well, let's see how this all turns out next chapter, eh? Hope you're enjoying, thoughts are always appreciated! Title is Bittersweet Sundown by Framing Hanley.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	18. Make It Up As We Go

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 17.  
**

**Note: What is this? Two posts in one day? It must be an inspirational miracle! Haha. Seriously though, I want to say thank you to everyone that sent me well wishes. They really mean a lot to me. Good news is, I've decided to let things be as they are and just wash my hands of the situation. Sometimes it's just easier and better to let things go than try and hang on. Even better news, I'm having inspiration coming out of my ears, so no more breaks! And Happy Belated Valentine's Day! I hope everyone enjoyed it! See you Friday! Enjoy! -JJ**

* * *

_**Make It Up As We Go**_

Cody sat at the table, looking down at his phone as he ate a bowl of cereal. He wasn't too hungry and he knew that Roman wasn't going to have time to make them something. He groaned, looking over his messages, his eyes landing on the last one he'd gotten from Drew. It had been the night him and Roman had argued a few weeks before. He was really starting to miss the other man, and he had to admit that Drew had given him space like he had asked.

He blew out a small sigh, letting his spoon clang against the edge of the ceramic bowl as he clicked on Drew's name, his fingers lingering above the on screen keyboard. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say.

"Look okay?" Roman asked, hurriedly walking into the dining room before darting into the kitchen and forcing two pieces of bread into the toaster. He looked over himself, looking up into wide blue eyes. "Is that a yes?"

Cody's eyes ran over the man in front of him. He started at the black slacks that were loose around Roman's calves before tightening around the muscular thighs and had the perfect stretch across Roman's ass. A white, long sleeved, button up shirt was tucked in, a black vest covering it. His mouth was dry as his blue eyes looking into the slightly nervous face, smooth cheeks and freshly trimmed goatee only making his shorts grow a little tighter. He swallowed, Roman's hair slicked back into a neat bun. He only nodded dumbly, the ability to speak completely gone.

Roman's lips turned up into a smile. "That's a relief, I didn't know if I should wear blue or white," he mused, looking over himself again, snatching up his toast just as it popped out of the toaster, taking a bite out of one slice. "Don't you have work today?"

Cody shook his head, phone lowering to the table. He couldn't take his eyes off of Roman. "A-aren't you going to be h-hot?" he finally asked, realizing that Roman's shirt had long sleeves. "It's like 90 degrees out there already."

Roman shrugged, finishing off one slice of toast, rummaging in the cabinets for a glass so he could pour himself a glass of orange juice. "I can't show my tattoo," he explained, taking a big gulp before putting the jug back in the fridge. "So I don't really have a choice in class. In the office is another story though."

Cody nodded, looking down into his bowl of cereal, telling himself not to stare, no matter how good Roman looked. He clamped his legs together, trapping his stirring cock between them, hoping that it would be enough to hide it. He swallowed hard, Roman coming over to the table and sitting down for a moment to finish his toast.

"What're your plans?" he asked, taking another gulp of juice.

Cody shrugged. He wasn't completely sure what he wanted to do. He knew that he wanted to talk to Drew at some point. He'd cooled off and he'd learned quite a bit while he'd been away from Drew. It also didn't help that he still had deep feelings that constantly told him to break and call the Scot. "I guess talking to Drew," he murmured, looking up into averted grey eyes. He felt a pang in his heart, knowing that Roman wouldn't want to hear about the other man. He looked down at the table, realizing that he'd never told Roman that he'd told Drew not to talk to him.

"I see," Roman breathed softly. "Well, I'll be home this evening. You gonna be home?" He stood, finishing his juice, suddenly the sweet taste gone. He put it in the sink, walking back out, eyes cast down at his black socks.

Cody felt a bit guilty, already fully aware that he could directly influence Roman's mood. "I'll be home, I'll even make dinner," he said, smiling at the almost terrified look he was being given. "Or maybe we can make it together for once."

Roman's heart pounded. He'd told Cody he'd teach him how to cook again, but he hadn't expected for him to bring it up in everyday conversation. "I'd like that," he admitted, the corners of his mouth turning up into a small smile. He looked up into the beautiful blue orbs looking back at him. "Maybe we won't burn the house down."

Cody tried not to squirm, that smile only making his body a little warmer. He could feel the heat rise up his neck, his legs squeezing just a little tighter together. "Y-yeah," he breathed, looking away from the intense grey eyes. "Don't be late Roman."

Roman looked down at the watch on his wrist, groaning at the time. He ran back to his room, grabbing a leather briefcase like bag and his black loafers. "I'll see you tonight," he said quickly, throwing a final smile over his shoulder as he pulled on his shoes and heading out the door.

Cody barely felt the wide smile that was spreading across his lips. He wondered if that's how his and Roman's mornings used to be like before. He shook his head, feeling like all that was missing was a kiss. He looked down at his phone, Drew's name still on the screen. He groaned, rubbing his face with one hand. He had a lot to think about and the throbbing between his legs wasn't helping.

* * *

"Well, looking snazzy there Reigns. I'm surprised you made it on time, that little wildcat you got at home finally let you out?"

Roman rolled his eyes, chuckling as his eyes landed on the man that he shared an office with. "It's good to see you too Brad," he greeted, shaking his head as he stepped into the room and set his bag down at his desk. He pulled his chair out and sat down heavily, looking over at the other man. He smiled, taking in Brad's look: Charcoal grey slacks, a nice purple button up shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbows with a matching charcoal grey vest. He had to admit, for a straight guy, Brad looked good.

Brad turned in a circle, showing off his entire outfit to his office mate, smiling at the way Roman rolled his eyes. "Oh c'mon, you know you'd take a bite out of this," he teased, chuckling as he ran a hand through his wavy brown hair. "Admit it Roman, you'd take me home."

"You're too short."

Brad snorted, resting his hands on his hips. "Cody's only an inch taller than me," he protested, sitting down in his own chair, looking over at the Samoan man. "Speaking of Cody, how're things at home? I haven't heard from you all summer, and when I saw you at the bar, you just blew past me."

Roman groaned out loud, leaning back in his chair. He shook his head, running a hand over his face. "Yeah, about that," he muttered, looking down at his lap. "We're not together anymore."

Brad shook his head, completely unbelieving of his ears. "What? Roman, you and Cody were made for each other. I don't think I've ever seen anyone as in love as him and you," he said, scooting a little closer to the other man. "What the hell happened after the accident? Speaking of, you coulda called me. I was fucking worried about you man."

Roman took a deep breath, going into the story, giving a shorter more abridged version. He felt his heart tighten in his chest, each word harder to push out. Once finished, his hands were shaking in his lap. He looked up into clear blue eyes, worry and remorse settled in them. "It's fine. It's better than what it could be like. He coulda left completely."

"Shit Roman, that's a lot man," Brad started, reaching out and resting his hand on Roman's forearm. "Well, you know any time you need an ear, or someone sexy, I'm here."

Roman chuckled, shaking his head. "Stop being so self absorbed Brad, you're gonna be thirty, drop the 'Sexy Beast' attitude," he shot back, earning a hurt look from the smaller male.

"But Roman, if I'm not sexy, who's going to keep you company on those long days of mid terms and finals? How'm I supposed to get your attention?"

"Well, maybe try asking for it. Besides, why do you even flirt with me? You're straight," Roman asked, looking up into the flirtatious face. "Don't tell me you have a thing for me? Because I'd break your little ass in half."

"Am I interrupting?"

Both professors looked over, more than a little worried about who had overheard them. Roman breathed in a breath of relief when his eyes landed on the blond man standing in the doorway. "Jay," he murmured, waving him in. "Hey, what're you doing here?"

"The hospital sent me over to work with the CNA's. Give them a real idea of what happens," he explained, smiling at the other man in the room. "So, this your newest toy?"

Brad looked from Jay to Roman's smiling face. "What have you been telling people?!" he asked, feeling a little self conscious under the gaze of the other man. "I'm not your consort."

Roman put on a look of faux hurt. "Awe, baby, we don't have to hide with Jay. He's a good friend of mine. We can be open," he laughed, Brad's eyes narrowing on him. "Seriously though, Brad's just my office mate."

"That's all I am?" Brad asked, dramatically resting his hand over his heart. "After all those late nights together, all those take out dinners, and rainy afternoons. I see, I'm nothing more than a pretty face to you."

Roman shook his head, closing his eyes as he tried to bite back a laugh. He was glad to be back to work, back to classes where he could just enjoy the day to day normalcy he was missing at home.

* * *

Cody sat in the car, the a/c blasting cold air into his face. He was passing his phone back and forth between his hands, his lower lip stuck between his teeth as he nibbled on it. He was struggling to think over what he wanted to say. He blew out an uncomfortable breath, turning the car off and opening the door. The late summer heat slammed into Cody, stealing his breath right out of his lungs as he got out. He gently shut the door before slowing making his way up the walk to Drew's door. He stood there, fingers sliding over the white door, thinking the last time he'd stood in front of it he'd been just as nervous, although it had been more out of anger than uncertainty. He raised a hand, knocking gently. He took a deep breath, quick footsteps hurrying over to the door.

Drew's smile was bright as he looked down into the blue eyes of the other man. "Hey," he greeted, taking a step back so Cody could come in. He shut the door behind the other man, making sure to leave plenty of room between them. He didn't know if Cody was still upset, but he wasn't going to let false hope fill him that things would be okay between them. "How've you been?"

Cody shrugged, kicking his shoes off and following Drew into his living room, taking an offered seat on the couch. "I've been okay. Roman's been spending a lot of time working with me about my past. I still haven't remembered anything, but it's nice to know what happened."

Drew swallowed hard, wondering just how much Cody knew. "So you know the whole thing then?" he asked, sitting in the chair that was sitting across from the couch, resting heavy hands on his thighs.

Cody shook his head. "There's some things he still won't talk about, so I have some big gaps left, but I know more than I did," he explained, looking up into nervous dark blue eyes. "I'm surprised you were home today. I thought you worked on Mondays."

Drew tried not to smile too brightly. He wasn't sure if he should admit that he'd taken the day off because Cody had text him that morning wanting to talk. "I'd asked for it off a while ago. Sometimes I need some extra time away," he finally said, looking down at his hands. "So, you wanted to talk?"

Cody nodded, heart pounding. He'd had the conversation over several times in his mind that morning while he'd been getting dressed, and right then, he barely knew how to start. "I'm not mad anymore," he breathed, those beautiful blue orbs on him again. "I said some pretty shitty things to you and I said them out of anger. I'm not sorry for saying them, but I am sorry for how it all came out."

Drew was a little surprised, sure that he'd misheard the other man. Cody was actually apologizing to him? "No, I deserved it. What I did wasn't right. I really was being selfish," he murmured, looking up, smiling softly. "I know it doesn't change anything, but I really missed you. I'm glad you wanted to talk."

Cody felt his heart pound at the words, his body growing hot. He felt a blush rush along his cheeks and he looked back down at his hands. "I missed you too," he answered, smiling ever so slightly. Even after all that time apart something about Drew's smile still made him all fidgety and nervous. He swallowed hard, looking up as butterflies fluttered around madly in his belly. "I still love you."

Drew was shocked, sure that the words were just his imagination. "You sure you can say that after everything?" he asked, telling his body to stay still, not to rush over and wrap his arms around the other man. "Are you sure you can forgive me for this?"

Cody nodded. "Just because I was pissed off doesn't mean I suddenly stopped loving you." He cocked his head to the side, smiling bigger. "I may never remember the last three years, and I'm slowly starting to accept that. I can't keep trying to be who I was. I have to move on," he stated, a small shiver running through him. He'd been thinking about it. While he did want to know and remember, he couldn't dwell on it. He couldn't live in the past.

"So, are you saying…?" Drew stopped, unable to get the last few words out. He felt that same hope fill his chest. He tried to squash it back down, telling it not to fill him, that there was always the chance that Cody wanted to move on completely, love or no love.

"I'm saying that I still want to try this again, without the lies. I want us to start over from scratch. I don't want to think about how this all started between us or what we went through," Cody finished, standing and walking over to where Drew was sitting. "I love you Drew. Even if I can't remember the last three years, I remember how happy you made me and how happy you make me now."

Drew felt a sudden nagging in his heart. "What about Roman?" he asked, a slow ache filling him. He could see Cody's sudden falter as he walked over. "What about you and him?"

Cody sighed softly, squatting down so that he was eye level with Drew. "We aren't together, and we probably won't be again. Even though we have history, it still feels like I just met him. It wouldn't be fair to either of us to force it," he explained gently, guilt filling him. "He's a friend now, nothing more, nothing less."

Drew leaned in, pressing his forehead against Cody's. "You sure you wanna try this again with a fuck up like me?" he questioned gently, closing his eyes, letting the warmth of Cody's forehead against his send a warm tingling through him. "I've already done enough to you."

"Yeah, I'm sure."

Drew's hands moved up, cupping Cody's cheeks as he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Cody's lips. "I'm glad because I want it too, more than you know. I swear, I won't hurt you. I won't lie to you again," he breathed, closing his eyes as he leaned in again, pressing more soft, chaste kisses to the soft lips. "I promise."

Cody felt warmth spread through him, his fingers resting on Drew's chest as their kisses continued. Inwardly, he tried not to think about whatever it was that constantly put Roman in his mind, telling it to go away. He was where he wanted to be, and that happened to be right there in Drew's arms.

* * *

Seth walked into the garage, enjoying the cool that washed over him. He was ready for the summer end heat wave to be over. His once brilliant smile started to fade as a woman walked up the desk to meet him. He looked her over, her black hair pulled back away from her pale face, her dark eyes cold as they looked him up and down. She wore a black and silver set of mechanic's coveralls, the sleeves rolled up. "Hey," he said softly, smiling brighter again. She was pretty in her own way. Once she stood in front him on the other side of the counter he could see the plastic retainer shoved through her lower lip on the right side.

"Hey handsome," she greeted, looking Seth up and down, really taking in his frame. "What can I do for you?" She gave a bright smile back, showing her perfect white teeth, her British accent thick. She gave him another once over, deciding that he was pretty good looking.

"Well, I was actually looking for someone," he started, pausing when he saw Dean walk into the small office, the entire front of his coveralls smeared in grease. He felt his heart melt in his chest, his smile widening as his voice faded into nothing.

"Well, does this someone have a name, or are we going to play a guessing game?" she teased, giggling at the way a small blush crept along the bearded cheeks. She looked over, finding Dean watching her. "Oi, Ambrose, what're you doing here?" She sent a playful glare at the man. "You're messing with my potential flirting."

Dean only smiled, resting his hands on his hips. "Well sorry to disappoint you babe, but you're barking up the wrong tree," he said, looking over at Seth. "Besides, I don't think you could handle him. He's a bit of a wildcat."

Seth looked down at his feet; his cheeks only further burning.

"Well, if you ever feel like Ambrose here isn't enough for you, my girlfriend and I would love to have you over for some fun," she hinted, giving a wink to the blushing man. "I promise you won't be disappointed."

"Wait, that blond hottie that dropped you off this morning was your girlfriend?" Dean asked, looking at the small woman almost in shock. "Shit man. She was like a ten."

"You're not the only one that likes women Dean," she mused, walking behind Dean and slapping him firmly on the rear. "And I promise you, she's more of a wild cat than _you _could ever handle." With that she walked back into the work bay, giggling.

Seth felt a small ache set into his heart at Dean's words. He'd told Dean that he wasn't going to leave Phil, but at that moment he'd felt more jealousy course through him just by the way the woman had touched Dean than he'd ever felt when someone got too close to Phil. He bit his lower lip, swallowing hard. "I just brought you lunch," he murmured, setting the bag on the counter and backing away, unable to look up into the blue eyes he loved.

"Oh, thanks man," Dean said, smiling bright as he rubbing his hands on the thighs of his blue coveralls and walked out from behind the counter. "You got time to eat with me? Or are you on another job?"

Seth shrugged, his heart still feeling a bit caged. He knew he shouldn't feel jealous, but Dean had said that he'd wait for him. He mentally shook the thoughts of doubt away. Dean had said he loved him, that was what was important, not women that flirted with him and certainly not Dean flirting while being a single man. "I got a few minutes," he murmured, forcing out a smile. "New help?"

Dean nodded, returning behind the counter to clock out for lunch. He stepped out the door that led into the bay and called, "Hey, I'm going on lunch, if Titus gets back let 'em know for me. Don't kill yourself kid!"

"Belt up* Ambrose, I'm not just a pretty face!"

Dean only let out a low rumble of laughter as he turned back to Seth, pausing when he saw the other man was looking away, a darkened look on his handsome features. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, grabbing the bag and walking over to where Seth was standing, slowly leading him out of the garage back to his truck. He pulled the tailgate down and patted it, hopping up to sit. "Talk to me."

Seth shook his head, trying to push the jealousy away. "So, she's new," he started, pushing out a smile as he looked over Dean. He felt the sun beat down on them, making sweat bubble up on his brow. "And eat, it's hot today."

"Yeah, that's Paige. She just started yesterday, but she's pretty good," Dean explained, digging in the bag, pulling out a bottle of water and a pre-made sub sandwich. He smiled, leaning over and pressing a quick peck to Seth's cheek. "Thank you."

Seth couldn't help but smile, looking down at his swinging legs as Dean nibbled on his food. "What happened to Heath?" he asked, scooting just a little closer to Dean, wanting nothing more than to lean into the dirty frame, despite the heat.

"He quit last week, something about starting a rock band. Who knows, the guy can't sing and I don't think he's ever held a real guitar so, eh whatever. He was lazy anyway."

Seth chuckled, turning and letting his eyes run over the other man as he finished up. "Ready for desert?" he asked, feeling just a little naughty. He let Dean get a drink of the cold water, waiting for an answer. "Hm?"

Dean's eyebrow rose. "Does this desert involve getting out of here?" he asked quietly, not wanting Paige to overhear them. He knew it would lead to relentless teasing later on. "Because I'm not interested in showing off your body to anyone but me."

Seth felt heat rush up his neck and cheeks again. He suddenly leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Dean's lips. "Just a little taste, that's all," he teased, pulling back with a smile. He hoped Paige had seen that.

"Don't tease me Seth," Dean growled, leaning back in and devouring the sweet mouth, letting his tongue run against Seth's as he took in every flavor he could. "You keep pushing my buttons and I'm going to steal you from Punk and keep you for myself. Consequences be damned."

Seth groaned, pulling back, pushing Dean back just enough to catch his breath. "I might want you to," he answered quietly, brown eyes meeting surprised blues. "I've been thinking about what you said, and the last couple weeks have been amazing. When I'm with you, nothing matters, I can be myself." He looked down at the black bed liner, the fingers of his right hand picking at his left thumb's cuticle. "I'm rambling, but Dean, I… I really want to be with you. I want to feel like that all the time, not just when we're together."

Dean couldn't help but smile, heart pounding at Seth's words. It may be the closest he ever heard the words 'I love you' from the other man and he was perfectly fine with it. "You serious?" he asked, his tongue slowly rolling over his lower lip. "Say you're serious Seth, for the love of God say you're serious right now and you won't take it back later." He was desperate to know that Seth was serious.

"I'm serious Dean, I want to be with you. I want to leave Phil," he answered, watching as Dean jumped down from his perch on the tailgate. He went to say something, only to be cut off with Dean's mouth crashing into his again, the bigger body nestled between his legs, dirty hands grabbing at his hair, pulling them even closer together. He groaned, his own arms wrapping around Dean's neck, his legs circling Dean's middle, making sure to keep him from getting away.

Dean pulled back, breathless. He couldn't believe his ears. He was going to have Seth to himself, he was going to finally have the man he loved. "I love you," he breathed, his hands sliding down to rest on Seth's hips.

Seth leaned in, letting Dean's head rest against his shoulder. "It might take a little bit more time, but once everything is set, I'll break things off with him. I promise," he murmured, Dean's arms tightening around him. He couldn't help but relax in the strong arms, uncaring of the smeared grease and oil now on his clothes and in his hair. He was where he belonged, now he just had to figure out how to break things off in the most neutral way possible. That was going to be the hard part.

* * *

*Belt up – shut up (I actually looked this up, so if it's wrong, I blame the internet. I'm just an American…)  
(A/N): So, a little bit of a happier chapter. Roman and Cody are getting along, Cody and Drew are back on, and Seth and Dean have come to the conclusion that they are going to be together. Pretty good huh? Oh, and we met the flamboyant and self obsessed Brad Maddox, whom I may or may not have a huge fan girl crush on…. *shifty eyes*. XD Well, let me know your thoughts loves! I'm all ears! As always, Onwards and Upward! Title is Make It Up As We Go by Jason Derulo.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	19. Yesterday's Feelings

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 18.**

**Note: Hope you guys are ready for some serious mental rides! Also, I'm going to be ordering the Elimination Chamber Sunday just to see The Shield VS The Wyatt Family. XD So Monday's update may be early or late depending on what I've got going on that day! See you Monday! Enjoy loves! -JJ**

* * *

_**Yesterday's Feelings**_

Roman had enjoyed the last few weeks of his new routine. He woke up, showered and made breakfast with Cody, who was vastly improving in his skills again; went to his classes; had his usual playful/flirtatious banter with Brad; had afternoon classes; and went home. That's where his routine varied day to day. Some days he was alone and he would make something simple to eat for himself, other days him and Cody would spend the better part of the evening working on recipes together. Some nights he'd see Dean and Seth, both very caught up in each other as of late. Then there were nights he'd spend time texting with Jay.

Needless to say, he was growing comfortable at home. With each passing day, he could slowly ignore his love for Cody more and more, pushing it down deep in his chest, locking it away in his heart.

It was Saturday and Roman had an appointment he had to keep. He had text Seth and Dean to come over and help Cody with breakfast, since he was going to be leaving out before Cody made it out of bed. He felt a little bad, really enjoying their time in the morning together, but he had to be on time or else he was sure Shannon would take another job.

Roman pushed open the door to Ink Inc, smiling when he saw Ashley standing behind the counter. "Hey babe," he greeted, walking over to the smiling woman. "Shannon in?"

Ashley nodded. "You know he is Roman. He's the only one back there. He's probably setting up. You know the deal, fill out the paperwork and I'll send you back," she said, handing over a pen and a clip board. "So, you know, when are you going to let me shove some metal in that pretty skin of yours?"

Roman only smirked. "When I feel like putting a hole through me, I'll let you know Ash," he laughed, filling out the liability waiver and handing it back to her. "So how's your girl doing?"

Ashley only smiled. "Smart as a whip," she bragged, poking her chest out a bit. "She takes after her Mama. She's a tough one, got into a fight last week and bloodied some little boy's nose." She laughed, waving Roman into the back through the doors. "Go on, I'll see you when it's done."

Roman nodded, walking back. He looked over to where the small male was sitting, getting his stencil ready, his ink already set up. "You ready for this Shan?" he asked, walking over to the table and pulling his tank top off. "Because I don't have shit planned besides this."

Shannon looked up, smiling at the Samoan man. "You know, if I didn't like you, I sure as hell wouldn't be here this early on a Saturday," he teased, patting the table for Roman to sit. "But since you insist on me being the only one to touch you…."

"Take it as a compliment Shan," Roman said after a moment of silence. "You do quality work, I don't want some new guy messing it up." He shook his head, chuckling. He looked over the small male, the blond and black Mohawk pulled back into a ponytail. He had to admit, Shannon looked like a little badass with all his tattoos running down his arms, both ears pierced along with his septum. He sat back on the table, letting Shannon look his shoulder over. "How long you think it'll take this time?"

"Well if I'm lucky, and we only break a couple times, we'll be done in four or so hours. I hope you didn't have plans," Shannon mused, chuckling to himself as he grabbed a new set of needles for his tattoo gun. "A'ight, ready to go?" He snapped on a new pair of gloves. After a nod, Shannon put a section of the stencil on Roman, making sure it was completely lined up before he pulled the paper back. "Here we go kid."

Roman winced at the first sting of the needle as it hit his skin. He closed his eyes, letting his mind wander as the buzzing of the gun filled the air.

* * *

Seth smiled, leaning against the cabinets as he watched Dean pull all the ingredients from the fridge that he was going to us. "So Chef Ambrose, what're you thinking about making all of us today?" he asked teasingly, resting his hands beside his hips as he hopped up to sit on the line of cabinets.

Dean set his haul next to the stove, cocking his head to the side as he walked over to where Seth was sitting, stepping between the parted legs. His arms wrapped around Seth's waist, pulling them closer. He pressed his lips against Seth's ear, earning an involuntary shiver. "I'm thinking about just how hot it would be to fuck you on this counter," he growled, pulling Seth's hips off the counter.

Seth felt himself being flipped around so he was bent over the counter top. He gasped, looking back over his shoulder into the darkened blue eyes. He could barely catch his breath as Dean's hips pressed into the back of his, slowly grinding them together. He could feel his mouth go dry in anticipation, a stirring starting between his legs.

Dean's hand snaked up Seth's chest, pulling him back up so his chest pressed firmly against Seth's back. "But I'm not going to fuck you the first time," he breathed, his voice low, gravely as his lips caressed the shell of Seth's ear. "I'm going to take my time with you. I'm going to be gentle and show you what your body deserves. You're going to be a moaning mess in my bed, you won't even know up from down, left from right, night from day. You'll only be able to see and think about me."

Seth groaned, heart pounding at the words that swirling around his heart before shooting straight down to his cock. "Dean," he whimpered, hips pushing back into Dean's, the outline of the other man's semi erect member pressing against the crack of his ass. He let out another moan, a soft kiss pressed against the side of his neck. He couldn't tell Dean he was almost already to that point just hearing the words from Dean's lips.

"I'll claim every bit of you as mine, every last inch. You'll be mine and only mine," he murmured, his hands resting gently on narrow hips. "And I won't let you get away again."

"You know, I'm sure Roman would rather you didn't fuck on his counter," Cody chuckled, walking from where he'd been standing in the hallway. "Speaking of Roman, where is he?"

Dean tried not to glare at Cody for interrupting him and Seth. He pulled back, already missing the warmth of the other man against him. "He had an appointment this morning. He asked me and Seth to come over and keep you company," he explained, turning his back to the two and going back to his task of making breakfast. "And I'm sure Rome's already fucked plenty of times on this counter."

Cody felt his cheeks light up, his throat closing just at the thought of Roman naked, his muscular body pounding away into another body, his body, against the counter in as many positions as humanly possible. He looked down at the floor, pushing the mental images away.

Seth stood there flustered, his face hot from arousal. He didn't dare look into Cody's blue eyes, knowing that he was already looking at him with amused curiosity. "H-how'd y-you sleep?" he asked, closing his brown eyes and telling himself to calm down. After a few moments he opened his eyes, letting them fall on Cody, who was standing there in only a pair of basket ball shorts.

"Not so great," Cody admitted, walking over to the counter, resting his hands on the top and looking down at them. "I had another dream memory. It was weird this time though. It wasn't like the other ones. I just felt cold and awkward."

"You wanna talk about it?" Seth asked, leaning forward, resting his cheek on a fist. He watched Cody nod. "Well, tell us about it Codes. If we know anything about it, we'll tell you what happened. Speaking of which, have you talked to Roman about these yet?"

Cody shook his head, thinking of the last one he'd had where Roman had woken him up. He didn't want to bring them up to Roman, not if he was going to get hat kind of reaction each time. He opened his mouth, closing his eyes as he let the dream replay over in his mind.

_Cody was laying in strong arms, their naked bodies pressed together as they laid in the large, warm bed. He looked up into the blurred face, somehow feeling that he didn't belong there. He lacked the warmth and completion he'd felt before in the other set of strong arms. He smiled, snuggling closer into the broad chest, pressing kiss after kiss to the black blur._

"_Why are you letting him come between us?" the other male asked, his voice obscured but deep. "Why won't he leave you alone? You belong with me Cody."_

_Cody sighed, pulling back and sitting up. "He just really likes me," he answered, knowing the tone in the other man's voice was filled with nothing but irritation. "He's not a bad guy." A thought struck him. "Shit, what time is it?" He felt a little bit of panic rise in him as he looked over at the clock next to the bed. It read close to ten. "Fuck! I'm so fucking late!"_

_The other body grabbed Cody around the waist, refusing to let him leave the bed. "Fuck him, stay here with me," he growled, tightening his arms around Cody. "He can't give you what I can. I love you."_

_Cody felt his heart pound at those words. They were barely spoken between them, but they held so much meaning. "I love you too, but I should at least call and apologize," he protested, allowing his body to be pulled back into the bed. "C'mon now, let me up."_

_The other male shook his head, his long hair swaying with each sharp turn of his head. "No, stay here where it's warm," he pushed, pulling Cody in closer, kissing his lips just a bit roughly before moving down to the long column of neck._

"_I really need to call him, let me up," Cody whined, pushing the other man back. "He at least deserves to know that I didn't stand him up on purpose." He was trying to rationalize with the bigger male, finding a dark look on the undistinguishable features._

"_Why do you care? Is he that fucking important?"_

_Cody almost felt guilty. "He's a good guy," he replied simply._

"_That doesn't answer my question. Is he that important to you? Are you going to leave me for him?" The words only got even more heated as he spoke, his voice rising from a growl to a low yell. "Why won't you answer me?"_

"And that's when I woke up," Cody stated, looking up into thinking brown eyes. "I asked Roman if I'd ever cheated on him while we were together, because I had another dream where I was begging someone not to leave me and I had stepped out on him. These things are so fucking confusing."

Seth stood there, turning to look over his shoulder at Dean's surprised features. He let out a slow sigh. "I know that we've said this a lot in the past, but those dreams are something you should really talk to Roman or Drew about," he breathed, giving a small shake of the head at Dean. "Even though we've known Rome for forever, there's some things he's never told us. And what you're talking about, if they are real memories, are some of those things. I know that him and Drew had problems when you two got together but he never told us any details."

Cody nodded, shaking his head, heart pounding. So he had been dreaming of Roman and Drew. He groaned, covering his face with his hands. The knowledge was great, but that didn't make it any easier to try and figure out who was who in his dreams. And even if he made a guess, there was no way to know if he was right.

* * *

Roman could hear the door open at the front of the store. The stinging pain had long faded and he was just listening to the buzzing of the gun as it moved around the stencil on his chest. He could hear voices up front, he listened heard to make them out, finally realizing that it was Ashley and Phil talking.

"I don't know what's going on with him Ash," Phil murmured, leaning against the counter, his elbows propped up on the wood as he leaned back. "Seth's been pretty distant the last couple weeks. We live together but he's either too busy with working on his freelance work or out taking pictures to really notice me. I can't think of the last time he even gave me more than a peck on the lips, let alone have sex with me. He's normally in too much of a hurry when he's leaving out or he's too tired."

Ash tapped a black painted nail against her white teeth, her head cocked to the side. "Maybe he's seeing someone else," she murmured, giving Phil a sympathetic look. She could see that it was really bothering him. "I mean, worst case scenario right? Phil, that man's head over heels for you. Maybe he's just really busy with the holidays coming up and all."

Phil shrugged, thinking how they used to be. "We used to make love every day, all over his place or mine before we moved in together. We'd stay up just talking, planning the future. I don't know where it all stopped. It's like he doesn't care that I love him," he continued, pausing when he thought about it. "No, I remember. That prick Ambrose ruined it. We were happy until he came back into Seth's life and he just tore what we had apart."

Ash listened as Punk went on, never before hearing Phil talk with so much anger and sorrow in his voice. She felt her heart ache for him, remember just how happy he'd been when him and Seth had gotten together.

"It all started when **he **called Seth up out of the blue. We'd been together for almost a year and we were fucking happy. We were so happy; I was everything Seth wanted. Ambrose fucking calls asking to stay with Seth for a bit until he can get back on his feet and it all starts going to shit. Ever since that day he's pushed me away just to yank me back in," he explained, closing his olive eyes as his heart pounded painfully in his chest.

"So he lived with Seth?" Ash asked, moving to sit on the padded barstool, her attention focused solely on Phil. "What happened while they were living together?"

Phil shook his head, hating the memory. It was where everything had changed, when Seth had started slowly pulling away from him.

_Dean and Seth were sitting in front of his couch, both leaning heavily back against it as they watched the movie play on the flat screen. It was getting late and both were too tired to really do much else other than sit back and enjoy each other's company._

_Seth wouldn't admit it, but he had been excited when Dean had called him and asked him if he could crash on his couch for a couple weeks until he found a place of his own, since his girlfriend had kicked him out. It had been a couple years since he'd really talked to Dean, both going their separate ways after high school. He moved just a little closer, his bare shoulder pressing against Dean's as the blond popped a few kernels of popcorn into his mouth._

_Dean looked over, smirking at the dark eyes. "Movie that boring?" he asked, wrapping his arm around Seth's shoulders, pulling him in closer. He could feel the heat of the other man's face against his chest as he clenched a fist and rubbed it roughly against the top of Seth's dark hair, earning a disgruntled growl from his noogie. _

_Seth chuckled, going on the attack and wrapping his arms around Dean's waist, pushing him over to the side, trying to put a holding lock on the other man. He was disappointed when Dean fought out of it. They wrestled around on the floor for a good half hour, both laying back on the floor at the end covered in a light sheen of sweat and panting. "I haven't had that much fun in a while," he gasped, rolling to his side to face Dean, his dark eyes sparkling in the tv's artificial light. "I missed you Dean."_

"_I missed you too Seth," Dean answered, tossing his head to one side, motioning for Seth to come closer. Once he felt the dark head on his chest, he securely wrapped his arm around the sweaty shoulders, taking in every bit of warmth that he could. "You sure your man's not going to get mad that I'm here?"_

_Seth shook his head. "Phil should be fine, you're only staying until you get back on your feet. It's not like we're fucking or something," he laughed, wrapping his arm around Dean's waist, listening to the rapid heartbeat in the strong chest, finding that his own was mirroring it. He relaxed into Dean's embrace, closing his eyes as the pace slowed into a steady rhythm. Before he knew it, he was asleep._

_Dean just laid there, holding tight to Seth as his own heavy eye lids drooped and he dropped off to sleep, refusing to let Seth go. He felt the smile on his lips widen as his dreams took over._

_Not long after, the door jiggled open, Phil pushing the door open and looking inside. He noticed the apartment was quiet other than the credits of the forgotten movie playing. He figured Dean fell asleep watching another movie. He rolled his eyes, stepping in and shutting the door. He was there to surprise Seth with a night drive to get some good shots of city. He stopped dead in his tracks when he left the tile of the kitchen and walked into the open living room, Seth and Dean laying there in the middle of the floor, their arms wrapped securely around the other._

_He felt a stab in his heart, the look of complete happiness and contentment on Seth's face almost heartbreaking. He bit his lower lip, his lip ring digging into his gums. He'd watched Seth sleep on several occasions and never had he seen such happiness on that face while it laid on his chest._

_His jaw tightened as he took a step back, heart pounding even harder in his chest. He shook his head, knowing that whatever Seth felt for Dean could overshadow the intense, pure love Phil felt for Seth, and that thought alone hurt him to no end._

_He left silently, walking down to his car with a heavy heart. He loved Seth in all forms of the word. He never pushed for too much. He never forced Seth into anything he didn't want to do. He was gentle, he was as romantic as he could be, but apparently it wasn't enough. He was never going to see that kind of happiness on Seth's face that he had just sleeping in Dean's arms. He blew out a sigh, leaning heavily against his car as he looked up at Seth's apartment windows. He was never going to compare to that man in there._

_That's where it started. Seth and him started to pull away from each other, both arguing over stupid things, both refusing to take blame for their faults, only pushed against each other. Their once perfect relationship slipped into a chaotic mess of love and hurt fueled arguments causing them to break up and make up several times over the years that passed by. Neither could figure out how to live with the other and their once perfect relationship, which both so desperately strived to get back, all to no avail._

Roman's eyes were still closed and deep down he felt bad for Phil. He'd remembered how much Seth had went on about Phil when they'd gotten together, how he was perfect and treated him like a king. He felt a sigh run through him, knowing that those days had been long gone and Phil's attitude had changed into an almost desperate possessive nature. If Phil couldn't have Seth, he wouldn't let anyone else have him. He'd started playing mind games with Seth, whether Phil had realized it or not. He knew Phil had trained Seth into loving only him, only wanting him, feeling like he couldn't feel that kind of love with someone else.

Roman was sure that it was just Phil's way of trying to keep Seth to himself. In a way, he couldn't blame the other man, but in the long run he'd only damaged Seth instead of trying to get Seth to see how deep his love actually went, and that was something he couldn't forgive.

Phil let out a heavy sigh, standing straight. "I don't know, it's just a lot lately. I'm going to get my station set up for the day, I have a guy coming in to get his sleeve touched up," he explained, walking away from the blond woman and walking back through the double doors. His eyes instantly landed on Roman's open grey ones.

Roman felt the heated glare on him. He only smirked, turning his head to look at the half finished bit of artwork on his chest. He turned his attention to the blue eyes working on his chest, sure that Shannon had heard every word as well. He knew how Shannon worked though. If he wasn't part of it, he wasn't going to step into it. Roman liked that about his tattoo artist.

* * *

"Yeah, the movie was great," Cody said, leaning back heavily against the cushions of the couch, his phone to his ear. He could hear the other man chuckling on the line, something Scottish flowing into his ear. He tried not to giggle, always enjoying Drew's native tongue.

Roman tired to ignore it as he pulled out his prep for dinner. He growled, his shoulder stinging from the over use, the skin of his freshly tatted skin pulling and stretching. He turned to the meat on the chopping block and hissed when he dropped the knife in his right hand, it clattering against the floor. He cursed heatedly, looking down at it as his left hand rubbed the tender flesh.

"You okay?" Cody asked a moment later, poking around the corner and looking in on Roman struggling in the kitchen. He'd already hung up the phone, it now firmly grasped in one hand as he walked up and grabbed the knife from the floor. "Roman?"

"My shoulder just hurts," Roman admitted, taking the knife with his left hand and tossing it into the sink, walking over to the drawer to grab another one. "I'll be fine." He was grumbling as he walked back over to the meat, making horrible attempts at cutting it into strips with his left hand. "Fuck…."

Cody sighed, shoving his phone in his pocket and nudging Roman out of the way. He took up the knife, cutting straight two inch strips. "So, chicken strips?" he asked, almost laughing. He looked over to where Roman was standing, the left hand idly rubbing the right shoulder. "What happened? You didn't get hurt did you?"

Roman shook his head. "I got some new ink, that's all. My skin's tight," he answered, wincing just slightly as the cotton material of his t-shirt rubbed against him wrong. "I haven't stopped to put anything on it yet."

Cody's eyes widened a little. "Can I see?" he asked, all focus on the Samoan man instead of cutting chicken. "C'mon, let me see!" He almost hated how giddy he sounded. He held his breath, Roman grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head, exposing the perfect, bronze skin underneath. His eyes flowed from the waist band of Roman's jeans all the way up to the large white bandages tapped to his shoulder and chest. "That things fucking huge!"

Roman nodded, touching the wrap gingerly. "I need to wash it and put some cream on it. I was going to do it after dinner," he admitted, picking at the masking tape that was holding the wrap in place.

"I can help if you need it," Cody volunteered, walking over and helping Roman pull the paper away. He nearly gasped at the new intricate design that spilled from the shoulder armor to his chest. His breath caught in his throat as he stared, even more coming into view.

Roman tried to ignore the look on Cody's face. He tried to ignore the way Cody's eyes ran all over his chest. He tried to ignore how it made his chest tight, remembering just how Cody had looked at him the same when he'd gotten the sleeve done. "That's up to you," he breathed, walking out of the room. He returned a few minutes later with a small white tub of ointment, the area freshly washed and dried. "It's slippery."

Cody only smiled, taking the ointment and unscrewing the blue top. He dipped his first to fingers in the clear jelly and scooped a good sized dollop. "Turn around," he said, waiting for Roman to turn his back to him before he smoothed the ointment across the fresh tattoo. He could feel his heart pounding at the warmth of Roman's skin against the pads of his fingertips. He bit back a breath, keeping his eyes focused on only the skin he was touching, telling himself not to let his eyes wander.

"I can get the front," Roman said after a moment, little shocks of lightening shooting through him as Cody's fingers glided over him. He felt a groan vibrate in his throat, Cody's gentle strokes only moving over the top of his shoulder, leading to his chest.

Cody ignored Roman as he continued following along the tribal ink, dipping back into the tub as often as he needed to scoop more onto his fingers. His blue eyes moved around the intricate design, his fingers slowing more and more just to give him the excuse to keep touching the strong chest. He finished, much faster than he wanted, and looked up with a smile. "All done," he breathed, his fingers still resting against the warm skin.

Roman was frozen, his heart pounding. His eyes were locked with the beautiful blue ones in front of him. He felt his body lean into Cody's touch, an invisible cord pulling him closer to Cody. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around the other man, pull him in close and hold him.

Cody bit his lower lip gently as arms slid around him, pulling him into Roman's chest. He didn't fight it, his own heart pounding just as hard. He felt his already slick hand slide along the new tattoo, his other one wrapping around Roman's waist, face pressed into the strong neck. He hated to admit that it felt right, that he was where he belonged. His eyes closed as Roman's arms wrapped around his back, Roman's smooth cheek pressed against his forehead. He smiled, his clean hand sliding up Roman's back, his heart lurching at the way the muscles in Roman's back flexed at his touch.

Roman sighed, closing his eyes. He held just a little tighter, hoping that he could hold Cody for just a little longer. He knew it was useless, stupid even to still be stuck on the other male. He knew that what him and Cody had would be nothing more than friendship but still he hoped that somehow, just maybe, things would one day be the way they had been before. He took in every bit of heat Cody gave him, never wanting to let it go. "I love you," he murmured without thinking.

Cody tensed, yanking back from the tender embrace, a little startled. He could see that Roman was just as surprised at his words. He stood there, silent. He looked from one terrified grey orb to the other, his heart rate increasing to the point that it hurt. He turned, quickly making his way out of the kitchen and into the living room. "I'll be back later," he called, slipping his shoes on and grabbing his keys.

Roman didn't answer. After he'd heard the door shut, he sat down at the table and cupped his face in both hands. He let out a frustrated growl, refusing to let the hurt fill him. He'd let his guard down. He'd only set himself back to square one. He'd told Cody he was going to just be his friend, and that's what he was going to do. None of it helped the ache that was slowly filling his heart, weighing it down. "Fuck…."

* * *

(A/N): So, yes, a little back story with Phil and Seth. He wasn't always such an ass, time just made him that way (And jealousy). And some yummy time with Seth and Dean. We're also learning more about Cody and his memories, and then Cody's interactions with Roman. Things are getting a bit murky here. So, thoughts? Feelings? I'd love to hear them! As always, onwards and upwards! Title is Yesterday's Feelings by The Used.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	20. Fool With Dreams

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 19.**

**Note: Elimination Chapter tonight! Let's see if the rumors of a Shield break up are true, because if they are, I'll be crying somewhere. So, this is a chapter everyone's been waiting for! See you Monday! Enjoy -JJ**

* * *

_**Fool With Dreams**_

Cody sat on the grass, eyes focused on the tracks below. His knees were pulled his to his chest, his chin resting in the divot between them. His arms were wrapped around his legs as he thought. He'd heard those words twice from Roman, only twice, and each time they'd caused his heart to beat unevenly. He blew out a sigh, enjoying the cool breeze that was blowing against his hot skin.

He heard the whistle of the train coming, the smell of smoke filling the air as the ground vibrated under him. He wasn't too far from the tracks, about halfway between the top of the hill and the tracks just past the base. He watched as it passed him by slowly, the freight train seemingly chugging along at a leisurely pace.

Blue eyes followed the cars, some new looking, others covered in graffiti, some good, some not so good. A rushed, unsure breath escaped into the air, those blue eyes losing focus as thoughts took over.

Cody couldn't deny that he had something for Roman. He didn't know if it was his true feelings or if they were just lingering feelings from his past. It was that thought that scared him. He didn't want them to be just remnants. He didn't want the attraction him and Roman had to just be part of his past, and that thought alone was a more than a little frightening.

He could barely focus on the train, his mind floating through the last few months faster than he wanted. Each day that him and Roman had spent together had to have been torture to the other man. Each time he spoke about Drew must've been a knife slowly sinking deeper into Roman's heart, only to twist back and forth when he'd learned about Cody and Drew being together again.

Cody hated that, without knowing it, he'd probably hurt Roman more than he cared to admit. He blew out another rough sigh, the cool breeze once again blowing against his skin. He thought hard about if he'd been in Roman's position. Would he still be hanging on? Would he have been able to watch idly while Roman led his life happily with someone else? He shook his head, knowing the truth. He would've done things differently, but he'd probably still be in the same situation.

He looked up to the train, the last few cars passing him by. He didn't move, just sat there. He needed to get his head right before he went home. He groaned, pressing his face into his knees, knowing he's probably only done more harm than good by running out. But what was he supposed to do?

He tried not to let the truth bubble up inside of him, it whispering in the back of his head that he was attracted to Roman. He couldn't deny that. He also couldn't deny the warmth that he felt when Roman was around, how comfortable he was when they were together. The only thing he could deny was letting those feelings take him over. He knew that it if those feelings were just lingering from before the accident they would eventually pass and he'd only hurt Roman, and himself, more.

* * *

Roman sat at the table, grading papers when he heard the door open. He looked up, his grey eyes meeting blue ones for only a moment before he looked right back at the paper he was reading. "Dinner's in the microwave if you're hungry," he said calmly, resting his hands flat on the table. He didn't want Cody to see that they were shaking.

Cody only nodded, slipping his shoes off and hanging his keys up. "You too busy for a break?" he asked, walking over to his normal chair, resting his hands on the ornate back. "I wanted to talk to you a bit."

Roman looked up a little surprised. He shook his head, setting the paper down. "I can take a quick one," he answered, heart starting to pound. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear what Cody wanted to talk about, not after his slip earlier. He didn't know if he should apologize or just pretend it didn't happen, either way, he was sure it would only make things worse.

Cody sat down at the table, his eyes refusing to leave the tabletop. "About earlier," he breathed, his fingers already starting to pick at each other in his lap. "I'm sorry. I've been kinda selfish. I haven't really took the time to think about how hard this probably is on you."

Roman just sat there in disbelief. He didn't dare let his heart try and let hope fill it. He already knew that Cody was happy where he was with Drew, nothing was going to change that. He waited for Cody's eyes to lift up and meet his. He wasn't sure what to really say in return.

"I can't return those feelings, we both know that," he started, heart pounding. He tried to read the guarded eyes, sure that Roman was hiding his emotions as well as he could. "So, maybe you should try dating—"

"I'm not interested in dating right now," Roman interrupted, his brows furrowing. "Yeah, this is hard, but I'm dealing with it. I messed up earlier, but don't worry, it won't happen again." His hard look softened as he ran a hand over his face. He knew getting irritated would do nothing for the situation, but he couldn't help but feel it start to bubble up in his chest. "I'll start dating again when I'm ready. Until then, just stay out of my personal life."

Cody felt the words sting more than he'd thought they would. He looked down at his fingers, finding that he'd pulled the skin from one of his fingers enough to cause it to bleed. He sighed, applying pressure to the small rip of skin. "I didn't mean to offend you. I just… I just thought it would make things a little easier if… if you…." He trailed off.

"If I what?" Roman almost growled; growing more than a little irritated at Cody's implication. "If I just threw myself at someone to forget you?" He blew out a heated breath, standing from his chair, hands shaking. He shook his head, he couldn't believe what Cody was trying to say. "You really aren't the Cody I know. I'm not going to use someone just to benefit myself. If I was going to date someone it would be for them, nothing else." He stepped away from the table.

Cody looked up, watching as Roman stood there shaking. "I'm sorry," he murmured, the other man shaking his head again as he walked away. He sat there for a moment longer, wondering if he should just go to bed, try again in the morning. He decided that it would probably be better. He stood from his chair, casting a quick look over his shoulder to where Roman was standing at the sink in the kitchen. "Good night."

Roman looked up; jaw tight. "Good night," he answered softly, closing his eyes so he didn't have to watch Cody walk away. He shook his head, feeling stupid for even thinking that Cody would fall for him again. They really were just roommates, the once lie he'd pushed on Cody had become the truth, and Roman hated every bit of it. He looked to the hallway, knowing that he wouldn't see Cody again until the next morning. He let out a low, tired sigh. He was tired of the way his heart ached; he was tired of hoping and dreaming that Cody would come back to him. Most of all, he was tired of just being left stuck in disappointment at the end of the day from all of his useless hoping.

* * *

Seth taped up the last box in his once office with a smile. Today was the day that he was going to start his life over. He was going to break things off with Phil and finally be with Dean completely.

He'd been holding off on breaking up until his and Phil's lease was up. He knew things would be awkward if he did it before and they still lived together. With talks of moving only helped him in the long run. Him and Phil had already picked out a one bedroom apartment a few months prior, Seth deciding on renting out a small office space so his things would stop cluttering up home. Secretly, he'd found a place not far from the little office he'd decided on, the rent rather cheap and he could once again be on his own. It was just a step into breaking things off completely with Phil, making sure not to leave any gaps for him to slip back out of habit.

Seth heard the door open and shut, the sound of clamoring keys rattling as they hit the counter. His heart leapt in his chest, nerves suddenly running through him. It was time to say it all out loud. It was time to tell Phil his true intentions. He turned towards the doorway to the hall, walking over and leaning against the white painted frame. He tried to force a friendly smile on his lips, not wanting to tip Phil off too early. He wanted this to go as easy and pleasantly as possible. His chocolate eyes landed on Phil's tall form as he weaved around boxes that littered their apartment.

Phil looked up, smiling at his boyfriend once he'd made it around the maze in their living room. "Hey babe," he greeted cheerfully, walking up and wrapping his arms around Seth. He was going to try and get what it was that was bothering Seth out of the younger male. He had the entire evening planned out, he was going to show Seth how much he still cared, how important he was to him still.

He leaned in, arms tightening around Seth's waist, his olive eyes focused on chocolate ones. He nudged their noses together playfully, moving in to press a gentle kiss to Seth's lips, more than a little surprised when Seth turned his head and his offered kiss landed on a softly bearded cheek. "You okay?" he asked, pulling back, one hand coming up to cup Seth's cheek, stroking the soft facial hair gently.

Seth shook his head, his entire body starting to tremble. He was almost afraid of how Phil was going to react to what he needed to say. His eyes fell to the carpeted floor. He couldn't bring himself to look back up into the perplexed green eyes ahead of him. "I… I wanted to… to talk to you," he murmured, voice uneven and shaking. He took a step back, breaking all contact between him and Phil. His arms crossed over his chest as the toe of his left foot started to nervously scuff along the carpet. "I'm… um… I'm not moving with you."

Phil stood there in complete confusion. His brows furrowed as he let out a slow, nervous chuckle. He ran a hand through his raven colored hair, heart starting to pound in his chest. It wasn't often that Seth would joke about something so serious. "That's… uh… that's funny babe," he finally said, rubbing his upper arm with one hand roughly. He stopped after a tense, awkward moment. He felt the tension rise as he watched Seth, the other man refusing to look up from the floor. "Seth, what's going on? What do you mean you aren't moving with me?" His heart was pounding so hard in his chest that he could barely hear over the blood that was rushing in his ears.

The older man could feel a bubbling in his chest. It wasn't sure if it was fear or anger or a mixture of both that was rushing through him as the sudden assumptions filled him. "We decided on this really nice place. You were looking forward to it."

Seth shook his head, eyes closing for only a moment. "I… I want us to see other people," he finally pushed out, voice barely above a whisper. His body only shook harder, heart pounding. He was bracing for the argument that he knew would ensue. He only hoped that it went quick. "I… I found someone else." He looked up slowly, the expressionless look on Phil's face causing his heart to crack. He'd only seen Phil a few times without some sort of emotion on his handsome features, and none of those times had ended well. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Phil. I—"

Phil felt his heart shatter in his chest, his eyes going wide. He'd always worried about Seth leaving him like this. The time had come and he hadn't seen it coming. He hadn't thought that Seth would try and leave him seriously. He pushed the hurt down, anger flaring up in him. His once expressionless eyes narrowed, ignoring the sudden look of fear in the brown orbs ahead of him. "Who is it?" he asked, nothing more than a low, intimidating, growl emitting from his lips. "Is it Ambrose? He's going to actually try and steal you away from me?" His body started to shake as he looked into his lover's eyes.

Seth lowered his eyes back own to the floor, nodding. "Y-yeah," he murmured back, voice shaking. "It's Dean." He swallowed hard, looking up. He could see the tears locked behind angered eyes. He wanted to reach out, apologize for what he was doing, tell Phil that it wasn't him. He took a step back, the look of pure hatred scaring him. "I didn't mean to take this long… in… in telling you."

"This long?!" Phil snapped, voice rising as he strode forward, his hands fisting in the chest of Seth's loose black t-shirt. His hands were shaking violently as he pushed Seth back, slamming him into the nearest wall. He wasn't going to let that bastard, that lowly piece of shit take the person he loved most.

He wished he could ignore the way Seth shook, the way those eyes flickered back and forth between his, begging for him to let go and back up. He didn't want to think about what it could mean if Seth was waiting to tell him. What had happened between him and Dean already? "How long have you been messing around?" he asked, voice dealy. He was seeing red, his pulse raging and breath ragged. "How long as he been fucking you? How long have you both been laughing at me?" He knew that Dean had already moved in on what belonged to him, why else would Seth want to leave.

Phil jerked Seth around, forcing him face first into the wall, his bigger body trapping Seth. "Does he fuck better than me?" he asked, one hand sliding over Seth's hip, grabbing at the soft package through the tight jeans? "Can he make you scream like a cheap whore?" He gripped the other man tightly, causing Seth to stop all of his squirming. "I haven't fucked you in a while, maybe you need to be reminded."

Seth finally yanked free, the words deadly cold against the back of his neck. He was terrified and he knew their little confrontation would only escalate. "We haven't done anything yet," he answered gently, hoping to regain some sort of control, his body trembling in fear. Other than kissing, him and Dean hadn't done anything, not even felt the other up. He straightened his shirt, finding anywhere else for his vision than Phil's heated face. "I haven't done anything with him because I was still with you." He was being honest. He braced for what came next.

"Not that it would fucking matter!" Phil yelled, the fear of reality tightening around his heart. He was really going to lose Seth to that bottom feeder, that low life scum. All his fears were right there in his face, laughing at him, mocking him for being unable to keep Seth happy, to make him feel the same love Phil had seen that night. "Why?"

Seth looked up, the word so soft, so broken that it cut into him. He'd only heard that kind of tone once before in Phil's voice. He took a step forward, suddenly seeing the man he'd fallen for all those years before for the first time in a long time. He bit his lower lip, Phil suddenly looking up into his eyes, changing back into himself.

"Am I not enough for you anymore?" Phil asked, face stoney. His jaw was tight, his fists clenched at his sides. "I gave you everything. I gave you every bit of me. Seven years Seth, seven fucking years and you're just going to walk out on me for him!?" He was yelling. He stormed towards Seth, one again grabbing the front of his shirt. He could see the fear in the dark eyes. He bit his lower lip, hating that look.

Seth shook, knowing exactly what was going to happen. He was ready and he didn't blame Phil for being angry. They had been together off and on for a little over seven years and he was just walking away with no warning.

Phil loosened his grip, hands shaking. "Fine, go. Run to him like some fucking love sick puppy," he growled, taking a step back, pushing Seth back forcefully at the same time. He was trying hard to control his anger. He didn't want to lash out at Seth like that. He didn't like hitting the other man, it just happened. His anger would take over and before he even thought he would swing. "He's never going to love you half as much as I do." He looked up into the surprised eyes, turning his back.

"He loves me enough," Seth murmured, stiffening when Phil stopped, his strong back tense under his tang top. He didn't want to dig the proverbial knife any deeper than he already had into the other man, but before he even thought he was speaking again. "He's gentle with me. He takes time to listen to my thoughts. He doesn't play these games you do. And most of all, he doesn't hit me!" He paused, the words echoing in the room. He'd never brought up Phil's physical abuse before that moment. He bit his lower lip, finally ready to say what needed to be said out loud. "I'm not going to lie and say I don't love him back, because I do."

Phil felt the words pierce his chest, the miniscule shards of ice ripping through his heart, shredding it into thin, curling ribbons. His teeth dug into his tongue, blood slowly seeping into his mouth, filling it with a tangy copper flavor. "Fine," he ground out, turning back to Seth, looking over the scared, but handsome features. He charged forward again, unable to control himself as his hand reeled back. He let loose, a hard, loud smack of skin filling the otherwise silent air.

Seth's head snapped to the side, his body following the momentum, causing him to trip over a few boxes beside him. He crashed into the floor, on hand moving up to cradle the abused cheek, blood seeping onto his tongue from where the inside of his lip had been gashed by a tooth. His eyes narrowed on Phil. He was so tired of ending up being the one physically hurt out of anger.

"Go be his whore. You can try and pretend that he's going to make you happy. He won't settle down for you, you already know that. You said it yourself that he would never change." He swallowed down the bitter liquid, eyes once again narrowed on Seth's, the red cheek glaring back at him. "By all means, let him fuck you over."

Seth felt ice suddenly surge through his veins as his head turned back forward. He could feel the pain of Phil's smack, but chose to ignore it as best as he could. He had said in the past that Dean wouldn't settle down, that the blond was too much of a wild playboy for one person to tame. His eyes slid to the floor, uncertainty filling him. He hoped to be the one to change that. He knew it was a risk, that he could get hurt in the end, but it was one he was willing to take and he said it, looking up. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, whatever," Phil blew out, shaking his head as he walked back to the door. He turned to look over his shoulder, knowing that there was a seed of doubt in Seth's mind. "You'll come back when you realize that I'm right. How could a drifter like him ever love you? He'll get tired of you after you open those long legs for him. Don't you realize that? He's just playing you like everyone else."

Seth felt his heart start to beat unevenly, the sudden thoughts filling him. Was that all he was to Dean? No, he couldn't think like that. It he had been they would've fucked there on Dean's couch that night. He saw there, silent, fear filling him. He didn't want it to be the truth, but he'd seen Dean do it before to various people over the years. He didn't want to be just another notch in Dean's bedpost. He shook his head, telling himself that he was more, that Dean had told him that he loved him.

He jumped when he heard the front door slam shut, leaving him alone in the apartment. He let out a slow breath, his entire body shaking. He fell to the floor, breathing hard as his adrenaline slowed. He'd expected for them to get physical again, only to a much larger degree. He'd made it out with the least amount of physicality.

He tried to slow his breathing, the sudden feeling of relief spreading through him. He'd made it through the break up. He was free to start over. He felt a small, almost nonexistent smile settle on his lips. He finally had a new beginning.

* * *

Roman set the last box inside Seth's new apartment. He looked around the small one bedroom apartment, sure that the space wouldn't matter with the way Seth lived. He knew about Seth's studio work place, leaving more than enough room for personal down time at home. He also knew Seth would mostly just sleep there, unless he was over at Dean's. He looked over at the smiling, two toned male beside him, ruffling the long hair gently. He was happy that Seth was going to be living on his own again.

Cody popped out from the kitchen, holding out two bottles of cold water. "Well, it's nice," he said, resting his hands on his hips as he looked around the bright living room, both snatching up the offered water quickly. "Bright and lively." He smiled, a small blush rushing across his cheeks when he noticed that Roman had shed his shirt in the afternoon heat. He swallowed hard, looking down at the cool tile, suddenly feeling like he was the one that needed a drink of water.

Seth nodded, smiling as he took another step in. "Yeah. Now, I can have a fresh start," he breathed, turning to the other two, taking another gulp of cold water. He'd called Roman right after he'd calmed down, asking for a little help moving his things, hoping to be done before Phil came back. He had gotten lucky that Cody was at home and volunteered to help out as well.

"So, this is the end?" Roman asked softly, stretching upwards, screwing the cap of his bottle back on. "No more Punk?" He looked over at Cody's equally curious look, hoping for a positive answer.

Seth nodded, biting his lower lip gently, almost feeling a little giddy. "No more Phil," he breathed, turning to the two, eyes focusing on the open door. His smile broadened, his feet moving faster than his mind. He flew past Roman and Cody and right into the sweaty arms of the other man standing there with a half grin plastered to his lips. "Dean!" He smashed their lips together, his arms wrapped around Dean's neck, pulling their hot bodies as close together as he could. He felt like he could almost devour that sweet mouth out of happiness alone.

Roman and Cody watched the two, both smiling. "Hey, let's give 'em a minute," Roman murmured, tossing his head towards the sliding glass doors across the living room that led out to a small patio. He led Cody out of the apartment, looking back to see that Dean and Seth were still locked together. He silently slid the door shut and took in a deep breath of the crisp fall air. "About damn time."

Cody nodded. He looked over at Roman, letting his eyes run over the few day old ink. "Does it still hurt?" he asked softly, knowing him and Roman hadn't spoken much since their little spat.

Roman looked down at his chest, shaking his head. "Not really. It stings if I sweat too much and if I forget to put ointment on, my skin still gets a little tight," he explained, looking over. He smirked, Cody's eyes focused on his ink. "You should get one too."

Cody shook his head furiously, shivering at the thought of a needle piercing his skin over and over again. "No, I'm okay," he said hurriedly, head snapping to the side when he heard Roman let out a low laugh. His heart leapt at the sound, realizing that he'd never really heard Roman laugh yet. He smiled, chuckling softly. "I'll leave the tattoos to you."

Roman shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest, looking up into the turning sky. "I was thinking about making something different for dinner," he suggested, looking back over at Cody, wondering if he'd want to try a new recipe.

Cody went to reply, a happy little tune filling the air. He looked down at his pocket, pulling his phone out and answering it. He gave a small smile, feeling a little guilty when he heard Drew's voice on the other end of the line. "Yeah, sounds great. I'll come by when I'm done," he said, looking down at the ground.

Roman shook his head, blowing out a heated breath. He turned back to the door, both Dean and Seth hand in hand talking between the two of them. He looked over his shoulder at Cody who was hanging up. "Maybe another night," he murmured, trying hard not to let disappointment wiggle into his voice.

Seth pulled back from the forceful kiss, smiling up into the bright blue eyes. He wasn't sure what to say to the other man. He was there, he was single, and he was ready to let what they had grow into something more. "I'm still yours if you want me," he finally murmured, suddenly feeling a little jittery, his stomach in knots.

Dean only smirked, leaning in and kissing Seth lightly, their lips barely brushing against each other. "Yes, I fucking want you still," he answered, letting out a small chuckle. "I've only wanted you since we were in high school." He pulled back, looking down at the linoleum, his cheeks staining a light pink. He looked up, almost embarrassed at the admission.

Seth felt his head leap in his chest, his hands sliding down into Dean's. "Well, we're really a pair of idiots," he nearly laughed, thinking about the little remarks Roman had made to him over the years. "Because I've liked you since the day you saved me from that bully in junior high."

Dean smirked, pushing his forehead against Seth's. "That Ryan kid had it coming, messing with someone like you," he breathed, one hand breaking free from Seth's hand to cup the bearded cheek. He looked into the dark eyes he'd loved for so long. "So, can I say you're mine now?"

Seth wished his heart would stop beating so hard and fast in his chest. It hurt how happy he was. He nodded gently, never breaking eye contact with the slightly taller male. "Yeah, I guess you can say that."

"You guess?" Dean asked, an eye brow rising. "I don't take guesses. I'm a pretty straight to the point kinda guy." He was teasing Seth, and when he saw those chocolate eyes roll playfully and feel Seth's warm chuckle vibrate in him, he knew he'd already fallen in too deep to escape from the man. "Unless you want me to get down on one knee and do it that way."

Seth pushed Dean back, laughing. "I'm pretty sure this is fine," he said, smiling brighter, gasping out in surprise when Dean roughly bent down, wrapping his arms around Seth's waist and lifting him up over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. "Dean! Put me down!"

"Nope!" Dean answered, twirling them in a few circles, the excitement and happiness bubbling inside of him exploding out. He felt Seth's fingers dig into his shirt, clutching it to keep from falling. "Don't worry, I wouldn't drop you." He slowed to a stop and slowly let Seth slide down to the floor, their chests pressed against each other once Seth was settled again. "I love you Seth."

Seth only smiled, unsure if he was ready to say the words back yet. He knew the words were hard enough for Dean to say to him. He felt two rough hands cup his cheeks again, bringing their lips together in a gentle kiss. Even though he wasn't sure if he was ready to say it, he hoped Dean could feel it in the way they touched, in their shared kisses.

* * *

Cody leaned back against Drew's couch, resting into the bigger man, enjoying the warmth that radiated off of him. "That was fun," he murmured, chuckling a little longer as his eyes met the equally happy ones of the man beside him. His laughter died slowly in his throat as his mouth closed, the corners turning up into a small smile. "I miss just going out and just having fun, even it if was just an arcade."

Drew nodded, wrapping his arm just a little tighter around Cody's shoulders. "I don't want to ruin the fun, but are you and Roman doing a little better? You mentioned that you and him got into another argument the other day," he prodded gently, resting his cheek against the top of Cody's soft hair.

Cody shrugged, not wanting to really think about the bigger male. He'd tried putting Roman out of his mind, especially when he'd only seen him shirtless as of late. It didn't help that whenever he saw the newest addition to Roman's tattoo that he wanted to touch it either. "We're doing okay now. I just said some stuff I probably shouldn't have," he admitted, tucking his nose into Drew's neck, pressing a soft kiss to the strong pulse. He wanted to stop the conversation. "Don't want to think about it." He pressed another kiss to the tanned skin, his lips opening so he could nip at the thin, pulsating flesh.

Drew bit back a low groan, turning so his lips were barely brushing against Cody's. "Do you enjoy tormenting me?" he asked playfully, voice nothing more than a deep rumble. He looked down into the bright blue eyes. He felt like time stood still between him and Cody, his lips moving in just a little further, both sets of lips molding to the other in a gentle kiss. He felt lightning shoot through him, his heart pounding. He hadn't really had the chance to kiss Cody since they'd gotten back together, and none of them had had this kind of effect on him.

Cody stiffened slightly, his body pausing for a moment before he reacted. His hands slowly came up, slipping into the loose, long hair as his eyes closed, lips parting for Drew's tongue to slip into his mouth. He let out a groan, Drew's tongue slowly gliding along his own, exploring the moist cavern expertly. He couldn't understand why the kiss didn't feel quite right.

Drew felt Cody's hands tighten in his hair. He couldn't contain the low growl in the base of his throat as he eased Cody back against the couch cushions, their mouths moving against each other. Drew's bold hand slowly slid under the hem of Cody's shirt to rest against the warm skin of his side. He didn't want to push Cody into going any further than he felt comfortable, but he did want to let Cody know that whenever he was ready they would go further. He wanted it, he wanted to be with Cody like they had been. He just hoped that Cody did too.

Cody slightly jerked away from the gentle touch, breaking the passionate kiss and looking up into dark blue eyes. He felt a shiver run down his spine the arousal evident between them. A sudden guilt filled him. "I'm sorry," he breathed, looking away. He didn't know why he suddenly felt so guilty and the gentle touch felt completely wrong.

Drew shook his head slowly, leaning in and pressing peck to Cody's forehead. "Don't apologize. We'll go at your pace," he murmured, the light kisses trailing down the bridge of Cody's nose down to his lips. "Whenever you're ready for more than kissing, we'll try it." He pushed the feeling of rejection back. He wanted Cody, more than anything, but he could wait. He would wait, as hard as it was.

Cody smiled, thanking Drew softly. He felt the guilt sink slowly away, leaving a small, cold ache in the base of his heart. He pushed it away, his lips once again against Drew's. He hated that it felt wrong. He wanted so much more between him and Drew. He wanted that physical relationship again. He wanted to feel Drew's lips on more than just his. He wanted so much more than his conscious could handle, and he hated that his body only fought him.

* * *

(A/N): Well, it's what everyone was waiting for. Hope it's good for you guys! And Roman and Cody… man these two little angsty men… Well, we'll see how it all plays out with them next. Hope you like it. I always love hearing thoughts and feelings! As always, onwards and upwards! Title is Fool With Dreams by Framing Hanley.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	21. For The Night

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 20.**

**Note: This is an extra update since we've reached 150 reviews... Ya'll are so fucking amazing! Really, I think I was almost in tears when I realized the number! I'm so glad for all of your thoughts and input! I hope you all enjoy this chapter! I will see you again on Friday! -JJ  
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* * *

_**For The Night**_

Roman lifted a photo up from the album and smiled at it, heart pounding in his chest at the memory. He leaned back in his chair, looking over him and Cody in it, both smiling at the camera, Roman's arm around Cody's shoulders. Cody was in a very expensive looking black tux while Roman was a less fancy dark grey suit with a blue tie. It had been Maryse and Mike's wedding.

He let out a small sigh, setting the picture down and rubbing his face gently. He had to tell Cody their memories, but that didn't make it any easier. He dropped his hands into his lap, unsure of where Cody even was. He hadn't talked to him much that morning before he had to rush to classes. He'd only been running late due to a very naughty, raunchy dream he'd had that had demanded his utmost attention that morning in the shower.

Easily, he moved around the pictures, taking out a few of him and Cody, making the decision that he would sit Cody down and tell him a few things the next day. It was getting too late to really do much anyway and he had classes the next morning and Cody had work. He went to put the photos away, standing just as the door opened and Cody stepped in. "Hey," he greeted, smiling just slightly.

"Hey, you going through photos?" Cody answered back, kicking his shoes off and pulling his light jacket off. He walked over, looking down at the photo in Roman's hand. "Hey, that's down at the pier isn't it?" He looked up to see Roman nodding. He looked down at the photo album, his eyes focusing on each photo, noticing that they were all of him and Roman. He tried not to feel hopeful that Roman wanted to share some of their past with him.

"I was pulling some out," Roman answered truthfully, setting the one in his hands down. "I don't really want to use these as reference points though." He neatly put the photos back and shut the cover. "If you want to know about who we were I won't keep it from you anymore, but you have to be patient with me."

Cody nodded, smiling wide. "Thank you," he breathed, grabbing Roman's hand and leading him into the living room. "You have time tonight for some questions?"

Roman felt his head nod without his permission. He sat down on the couch, Cody sitting next to him sideways on the couch, one leg pulled up in front of him. "What did you want to know?" he asked softly, heart already starting to pound. He'd left himself open for any kind of questions Cody had.

Cody took a moment to think. Normally, he would be full to the brim with questions he wanted answers to, but at the moment, with Roman's hand still in his, he felt content. He wasn't sure if he wanted to ruin that or not. He released Roman's hand, setting his own on his calf. "Will you let me run and grab something first?" he finally asked, feeling like he should share his dreams with Roman. He wanted to meet the other man in the middle as best as he could, knowing that these memories were hard on the Samoan man.

Roman nodded, unable to really say much. He was nervous, beyond nervous. He knew this conversation could lead in either direction. It could really pull them closer together, mending some of their broken relationship or it could easily rip the remaining bits to shreds.

Cody could feel his heart pounding as he sat back down, the notebook held tightly in his hands. "I need to know if these are real," he murmured, setting it in his lap. "I won't ask about too much tonight since we both have work in the morning."

Roman shook his head, thankful for Cody's thoughtfulness. "Where did you want to begin?" he asked quietly, sure that he could hear the waiver in his voice. He swallowed hard, watching as Cody flipped through the pages of his notebook, each page filled with words, some fully, others only partially.

Cody sat and thought, wondering where he wanted to start. He could still hear Seth's words echoing in his mind that there were things that only Roman knew. He suddenly shook his head, closing the book. They had plenty of time to actually sit back and discuss the details of memories he wanted to know. "Ya know what, forget these for right now. We had parties right?" he asked, perking up at the curious look on Roman's face.

"Yeah, we had some I guess," Roman answered, smiling slightly. He wasn't sure where Cody was going with his line of questioning, but he was thankful that it wasn't something serious at that moment. "Why? What are you thinking?"

Cody's lips turned up into a bright smile. "Halloween's right around the corner. Let's get everyone together for a Halloween Party. It'll be a lot of fun," he pushed, leaning forward. "We'll have candy and drinks and act like a bunch of kids for an entire night. C'mon, it'll loosen everyone up."

Roman let a smile rest on his lips, nodding before he thought. He felt his heart leap at the bright smile that spread across Cody's lips. He always had a problem telling the other man no. "So, do you want us to wear costumes too?" he asked, leaning against the cushions, really enjoying the light hearted conversation.

"Well, it depends on if you're going to want to swim or not. Do you want to fish costumes out of the pool?" Cody asked, almost laughing at the thoughtful look that graced Roman's handsome features. "Because, I'm not going out there if someone ends up naked. That's all on you."

Roman actually let out a laugh, relaxing a little further into the couch, smiling at the other man, eyes looking over the almost surprised face. It was at that moment that he realized that he'd really pushed Cody away since he'd told him the truth. He hadn't let Cody in to just be his friend, fearing that he wouldn't be able to handle the idea of them just being friends. It was nice to feel at ease there and not so anxious.

"You should laugh more often, you'll get wrinkly if you frown all the time," Cody chuckled, earning a good shove from the other man. "Oh, that's how it's going to be huh?" He leaped forward, grabbing Roman's shoulders and pulling him to the floor. He straddled the other man's chest, using all of his body to keep Roman pinned.

Roman only glared up at Cody, easily over powering him and pushing him to the side. A smirk broke through as he pinned Cody to the ground, his hands wrapped around Cody's wrists, his body half over Cody's to keep it on the floor. "I played football in college, and I have a good fifty pounds on you. You can't pin me," he said gently, trying to hold back the laughter building up in his gut at Cody's futile attempts at escaping.

Cody's eyes narrowed at the other man, finally giving up. "Not fair," he pouted, sitting up when Roman let him loose. He waited until Roman turned his back to him before he made his sneak attack, jumping up and clinging to Roman's back, his arms wrapped around the other man's neck. "Never underestimate the under dog!" he growled, legs wrapping tightly around Roman's waist. "Try and throw me off now!"

Roman twirled around, trying hard to reach for Cody on his back, finding that no matter how he moved, he just couldn't grasp the smaller male that was on him. He finally went to the floor, laying back on Cody, successfully squishing him. He rough housed with Cody for the better part of an hour, both covered in sweat before they gave up, both laughing.

"Now that, was fun," Cody said, leaning back against the front of the couch, his arms propped up behind him on the cushions. "What else did we do for fun? I know we didn't just stay home like old folks."

Roman shook his head, letting his damp hair loose. He shook it out before leaning back against the couch next to Cody, one knee pulled up for his hand to rest on. "Naw, we did a lot. We used to go to the boardwalk a lot. We'd hang out at the beach with Dean and Seth. We did spend a lot of time at the arcade though. I still don't know why I always let you talk me into going there. I used to lose my ass off all the time," he explained, finding that sharing the happier, more innocent memories only made him smile with happiness. "Maybe that's because you could never win at home."

Cody thought he heard a challenge in that comment. "You like video games?" he asked curiously, his head cocking to the side as he looked over. "I don't see you as the gaming type."

"Well, if you actually liked football, we could play together, but you like all those fighting games and I just suck at them," Roman retorted, looking over into sparkling blue eyes. "There's a type now? I musta missed the memo."

"I've just never seen you play, that's all," Cody murmured, looking down at his hands, finding that they were once again fiddling in his lap. He wondered why Roman had that kind of power over him.

"I haven't since the accident," Roman answered softly, turning his gaze away from the smaller male. "It's something we used to do together, it feels weird playing alone. The console's in the cabinet under the TV if you ever feel like playing. All the games are in there too." His head tilted down, his eyes resting on his sock clad feet.

Cody nodded, feeling a little awkward. He slid to the side, pressing his shoulder against Roman's. He told himself to ignore the way a bolt of lightening shot through him at the small touch. "You played football in college?" he asked softly, thinking a change of subject would do them some good. "I did wrestling in high school. I was going to do it in college but after I started working at the shop, I didn't want to do much else." He let out a small chuckle. "I'm sure you know all this already though."

"I don't mind hearing it again," Roman said, looking over with a smile. He really didn't mind it at all. He was enjoying the time him and Cody were spending together. He was almost dreading when they both had to separate so they could get some rest before work.

* * *

"So, he talked you into having a Halloween party?" Jay asked, leaning back against the cabinets with Roman, watching over the group of people around them, some in costumes, others not. "Good thing I never really get out my scrubs." He let out a little laugh, looking up into the smiling face of his friend. "You really okay with him being here with his boyfriend?"

Roman only shrugged. He'd been avoiding looking at Cody and Drew whenever they were together. He hadn't thought everything through when he'd agreed to the party. "It's fine. He wants me to start dating anyway," he muttered, taking a drink of the punch in his cup.

"You ready for that?" Jay asked, tipping his head to the side, looking up into the less than enthused face. "I mean, if I'm over stepping let me know."

Roman shook his head, giving a half shrug. "No, you're fine. I'm not completely ready but maybe it'll help. I still feel really awkward thinking about it," he confessed, looking down into the beautiful eyes. "So, you still single?"

"We've been through this Roman," Jay teased, chuckling loudly when Roman rolled his eyes. "Yeah, still single. Why?"

"Well, you see the bumble bee over there?" he asked, pointing across the room at the caramel colored skinned woman close to the front door. "She's been looking at you for about fifteen minutes. Her name's Ariane. She's pretty wild; but fun. She your type?"

Jay smiled, his eyes meeting hers. He could feel the little spark of interest between them. He already liked her, most women played hard to get, looking away once caught looking, Ariane on the other hand, she only smirked, almost challenging Jay to come over to her. "Hey, only one way to find out, right?" he joked, ribbing Roman with his elbow gently. "Wish me luck."

Roman only shook his head, watching as Jay walked over and fearlessly struck up a conversation with the woman. "Smooth Jay, smooth," he breathed, looking around his and Cody's house, taking in the people and their laughter. He saw Trinity and Jon dancing together, Jon dressed up as a Mummy, Trinity as Cleopatra. His gaze followed over others, Kofi and Damien completely out of costume, sure that they'd come right from the shop. There was Drew dressed up as William Wallace, _real original_, he thought and Cody was even dressed up as cop.

"Well, I got dumped," Brad said, sliding up to Roman, looking over at where Ariane and Jay were talking. "I hope he's got some nuts of steel, because she tore me apart." He looked up into the dark face, wondering why Roman hadn't dressed up for the party. He looked over his werewolf costume, almost laughing at the furry fingerless gloves. He must've been a sight bare-chested in a pair of ripped up jeans, a bushy tail handing on the back belt loop. He had brown and grey fur around his neck, wrists, and ankles, accentuating what he really was.

"Sorry to hear that. Jay'll learn though. He's pretty easy going," Roman said, looking down into the clear blue eyes. "There's other fish in the sea anyway, you'll find some lucky girl." He looked across the room, stopping, heart pounding when his grey eyes landed on Drew and Cody both close together. He turned his head, pushing the feeling of betrayal back.

"Hey Rome!"

Roman and Brad both looked over, a small brunette man walking over hurriedly, a tall blond trailing slowly behind him.

"I'm sorry we're running so late, Someone here didn't want to wait for me to get changed," Evan said quickly, smiling up into the handsome face. "I hope you don't mind that Jake wanted to bring Nick." He turned, the tall Olkie walking up with a frown. He leaned in, pressing a small kiss to the side of Evan's forehead.

Roman shrugged, smiling. "The more the merrier, right?" he asked, looking Evan up and down, trying not to laugh at the scarecrow costume Evan had decided on. "Good to see you Jake. How's Dibiase Corp?"

"It's not too bad. I get tired of Dibiase hounding me at the end of the week about reports that he sends me the day before, but other than that, it's okay," Jake explained, wrinkling his nose. It was an act, really he hated working at Dibiase Corp, but he couldn't find courage to tell that to his boyfriend, who was always so proud of him. He turned from the two, smiling when his blue eyes landed on the bleach blond that was making his way up, a skimpy stripper outfit hugging his delicious body.

Roman shared a quick look with Brad, both of them giving each other the same look of doubt as the bulky Oklahoma born male walked away, meeting him in the middle of the room. "Nick huh? What's he do? And please say he's not a Magic Mike kinda guy," he grumbled, an eye brow rising at the way Jake openly touched Nick. He'd never seen Jake ever be that open with Evan.

Evan shook his head. "Not really. He's a personal trainer. Him and Jake met at the gym one day. They became friends almost instantly," he explained, looking over his shoulder at the two, his voice a little downcast at the bright smile on Jake's lips. "So, anyway, how's things here? I haven't heard from you in forever."

Roman shrugged, looking down at the floor. "It's been fine," he muttered, those chocolate eyes looking at him curiously. "He's with Drew again, if you can't tell." He felt a warm hand on his forearm and he smiled softly. Even if him and Evan hadn't worked out as lovers, he had to admit that Evan was probably one of the most caring and gentle people he knew. "So, you have any single friends?"

Evan's eyes widened a little before sucking in a chuckle. "Well, I might have a few," he breathed, heart pounding. "Depends on what you're looking for really."

"You should know my type," Roman teased, enjoying the blush that rushed over the tanned cheeks of his ex. He let out a low laugh, completely missing the blue eyes on him from across the room.

Cody stood there, leaning heavily into Drew, heart pounding hard against his sternum at the way Evan and Roman interacted. His jaw was taut, his lips pursed together as his bright eyes focused on the way Evan easily pulled laugh after laugh from Roman, both talking happily together. His eyes narrowed on the shorter male, wanting him back off.

Drew looked down, following Cody's gaze to the two speaking. Inwardly, he sighed, knowing he was only fooling himself in thinking that Cody wouldn't be attracted to Roman again. He smiled softly, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Cody's cheek. He still wanted to hold onto Cody as long as he could. He'd be there as long as Cody wanted him.

Cody looked up, grey eyes looking over at him. He tugged Drew down into a full blown kiss, pulling back and casting a hidden glance to where Roman was standing. He could see the other man's jaw tighten as his eyes went back to the two men around him. He hated to admit that he was jealous and he was retaliating like a teenage girl, but something inside him refused to let it go. He blew out a soft sigh, reminding himself that he was the one that had told Roman to start dating again.

* * *

Seth couldn't help but smile, biting his lower lip as he looked over the other man. "You look good," he murmured, allowing Dean to pull him in closer, the front of their bodies pressed hard together as they swayed with the music. "Don't tell Roman, but I really have a thing for football uniforms."

Dean smirked, thrusting roughly into the man in front of him. "I don't think you're his type anyway," he teased, leaning in and stealing a kiss. "Now, you see, you're _my _type though." He felt Seth shiver in his arms, the sexual tension thick between them. "And you look pretty good in my work clothes. It makes it really hard to not peel them off of you."

Seth shivered, Dean's hands sliding down to cup his ass through the thick material of the dark blue coveralls. All teasing aside, he hadn't had much time to be alone with Dean trying to piece his apartment together and still keep up with work. He'd pushed most of Phil's words off since their last meeting, refusing the believe them. But even after everything, he still couldn't get over Phil's last comment.

_He'll get tired of you after you open those long legs for him. Don't you realize that? He's just playing you like everyone else. _

He bit his lower lip, wrapping his arms tight around the other man. He pushed his face into the strong neck, heart pounding as uncertainty filled him. He just wanted to shake those words off. It wasn't like Dean pushed to have sex with him, actually he hadn't really tried anything when they were together.

"You okay?" Dean asked after a moment of holding Seth, his hands sliding up to Seth's lower back, pulling back to look into the dark eyes. "Hey, it's a party, smile for me baby." He couldn't hold back the small smile when he saw Seth's lips turn up into a grin. "You're fucking cute."

Seth rolled his eyes, pulling back from Dean and leading him over to where Roman was standing with Evan and Brad. "Hey guys," he greeted, sliding right next to Roman, leaning heavily against him. "So handsome, why do you look so down at your own party?" He nudged Roman gently, glancing over at Dean.

Roman could only shake his head with a small smile when he looked down into the big chocolate eyes. "Nothing serious, promise. So you finally got him in a jersey?" he asked, looking Dean over, the tight white football pants hugging every bit of Dean, the blue and white football jersey cut to fit perfectly on the other man. He smirked at the blush on Seth's cheeks and the knowing look that Dean was shooting the two toned man.

Brad hid his smile as he took a drink of his spiked punch, watching as the two shared a look. He looked back over when Roman barely touched his arm. "What's up?" he asked, noticing that Evan was retreating into the small crowd to his boyfriend.

"I know this is a little awkward to ask, but will you flirt with me in front of Cody," Roman murmured lowly, his lips moving in close to Brad so that he was the only one to hear him. "I don't want him to see how much him and Drew bother me. I'll buy us lunch all next week."

"Sounds like you're bribing me," Brad whispered back, smiling wide. "Don't worry, I got this." He looked up, watching as Cody and the Scot walked closer, realizing that Roman only had him as an option. He smiled, Roman pulling back a bit.

"Having fun?" Cody asked, bumping shoulders with Seth playfully, looking over at Roman then to Brad. He kept his smile in place, letting his gaze run over the other male's lithe body, his torso sculpted. He felt a little insecure at that moment. Sure, he was in shape but he didn't have abs like the man in front of him.

"This is Brad," Roman introduced, grabbing Cody's attention. "He's my office mate at the University. He's been by a couple times before." He watched as Cody's smile was forced to stay into place as him and Brad shook hands.

Brad leaned in a little closer to Roman, his hand sliding into the bigger one. "I'm having a lot of fun here with Rome," he said, answering the first question that had been asked. "Who wouldn't with this guy?"

Cody felt his heart lurch, his smile faltering. He quickly caught it, a deep heat settling in his gut at Brad's hands on Roman. He moved just a little closer to Drew, wishing the jealousy he felt bubbling in him would just vanish. "So, you guys must be pretty close then, working together like that."

Brad nodded, trailing his hand up a muscled arm. "You could say that we're _close_," he teased, almost enjoying the torment that he saw running though Cody's darkened blue eyes. "We do spend a lot of time together in the office. Especially during midterms and finals."

Cody only nodded curtly, turning to Drew and leading him away. He only felt the want to punch the handsome man in the face. He looked over his shoulder, Brad looking up at Roman.

"You laid that on a little thick don't you think?" Roman asked, pulling back just slightly, his grey eyes meeting flippant blue ones. He chuckled at the way Brad smiled and shrugged.

"You asked me to flirt with you, I was just doing what I'm best at," Brad answered, feeling a little devious. He looked over at the other two males next to them, both a little less than enthused with his performance. "What? He asked me to, I'm just helping the man out."

Seth held up his hands in defense, looking up into Roman's averted eyes. "I hope you know what you're doing Rome, for your sake," he said, hooking his arm with Dean and leading him away into the party.

Roman groaned, shaking his head. "I'm going outside," he muttered, breaking all contact with Brad and walking out the sliding glass door to the backyard. He enjoyed the cool night air as it rushed against his warm skin when he stepped out onto the deck. He heard Brad follow him out, the door shutting behind him. "Thanks for that."

Brad only shrugged, walking over to where Roman was leaning heavily against the stucco wall. He leaned back against it as well, his shoulder touching Roman's arm, his arms crossed over his chest. "Nothing to thank me for, but Seth has a point. You really think acting like this is going to help you out in the long run?" he asked, looking up into the conflicted face.

"I doubt it, but it's better than brooding about them making out in the living room," Roman answered, looking down into the blue eyes of his co-worker. "I didn't mean to make you feel awkward in there. I just didn't have anyone else to ask on the fly."

Brad smirked, bumping into the bigger male. "Meh, what are friends for?" he asked, watching as Roman pushed off of the wall and turned to face him. "What...?" He stopped, Roman's strong arms resting on either side of him, trapping him. He swallowed hard, the handsome Samoan man closer to him than he'd ever been before.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything, Cody's just walking this way," he murmured, looking down at their feet. "It's all for show." He looked up into the brightened face, sure that the blush that was on Brad's cheeks was from the alcohol he'd been drinking.

Brad heard the door open and without thinking, his hands dug into Roman's black, long sleeved shirt and pulled him closer, their lips crashing together in an awkward kiss. He was shocked that Roman's lips molded to his, the large hands moving to rest on his hips.

Roman didn't dare open his eyes, the shock still in full effect. He moved in a little closer, Brad gasping. His tongue slipped into the other man's mouth, tasting the sweet alcoholic punch still on his tongue. He shivered, enjoying the taste. He had to admit, that even though the kiss was completely empty, it was nice to feel lips against his again. He could feel the passion and want in Brad's movements, and the feeling of being wanted was overwhelming. He missed being kissed like that and he had to admit: Brad was a good kisser.

Brad felt his body shiver, his mouth being over taken by the Samoan. He'd always been the dominate one in any relationship, the one to be in control and at that moment he felt almost lost trying to keep up with the vigorous way Roman kissed him. In a way, he felt comfortable there, relinquishing all dominance to Roman, the fierce way Roman's tongue pushed along his, the way Roman's hard body kept him in place against the wall. He pulled back a moment later, almost panting as his half lidded blue eyes met lusty grey ones. "Um… wow…."

Roman nodded, looking over to the door, the shock in Cody's blue eyes making his heart hurt. He swallowed hard, heart leaping when he noticed the angry tears building up. He stepped back completely from Brad, knowing he'd hurt Cody more than he'd meant to.

Cody's eyes narrowed on the two, his jaw tightening as he turned back to the open door. "Sorry for interrupting," he growled, walking back in and slamming the door. He hurried past Seth and Dean, reaching Drew and grabbing his hand, leading him out the front door.

Seth watched with pursed lips, shaking his head. He closed his eyes, looking up to the sliding glass door, watching the guilty way Roman walked in, a very red Brad trailing behind him. He looked over at Dean, trying to contain his disapproval, noticing that the other man was on his phone. His curiosity peaked. "What's up?" he asked, taking the concerned face of the blond.

"Paige just text me. She was wondering if I could come pick her up from the shop," Dean answered, shoving his phone into his pocket. "I'm gonna go take her home. You think you'll want some company a little later tonight?"

Seth felt his cheeks burn at the implication. Of course he wanted the company. He nodded sheepishly, barely able to keep his eyes on the blue orbs ahead of him. "Want me to keep the door unlocked?" he asked gently, Dean wrapping him up in strong arms. "Don't be too late, or I'll fall asleep."

"Don't worry, I won't make you wait," Dean purred in Seth's ear, pulling back to give him a quick kiss. "Don't change either, I want to be the one to take my clothes off of you."

Seth only shivered.

* * *

(A/N): Welp, another chapter down. Seth and Dean are doing really well, and Roman and Cody were being friendly. But sneaky little Brad. So naughty. Well, what do you guys think? Roman's is doing what Cody wanted him to do, he's trying to move on and Cody's a bit jealous. Thoughts are appreciated! Onwards and upwards! Title is For The Night by 12 Stones.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	22. Love Is Hell

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 21.**

**Note: Here's a chapter everyone's been looking forward to! A quick update on the updating schedule. Work is kicking my ass as of late, so some chapters may be a little late going up. I'm trying hard to keep this schedule though. Also, I will be hiding under my bed, when you get to the bottom and remember, I love you! See you Monday! Enjoy Loves! -JJ**

* * *

_**Love Is Hell**_

Seth was laying on his side on his couch, one arm tucked under his head, the other resting beside him as he doused off an on. He'd made it home an hour before, only staying at the party another half hour before leaving. Honestly, he'd been so irritated with Roman and what he was doing he didn't even want to look at him.

He'd barely made it into the apartment before he'd crashed on the couch, still wearing Dean's work coveralls. He had a light sheen of sweat on his forehead, the thick material hot. He'd always wondered how Dean wore them in the middle of the summer with the heat and humidity. He wouldn't be able to do it.

Seth's brown eyes cracked open when he heard the door to his apartment open. He smiled slightly, watching as Dean entered into his dark apartment. He blinked a few times, trying to push the sleepiness away. "Hey," he murmured, pushing to sit up.

Dean smiled back, running a hand through his hair. "Hey yourself," he returned, heart seemingly starting to pound when he saw that Seth was still in his work clothes like he'd asked. "I can't believe you're still in those."

Seth refused to acknowledge the blush that was covering his cheeks. "You told me you wanted to take them off of me," he answered, standing up to wobbly legs. He took a few steps towards Dean, meeting him in the middle of the living room. "Unless that offer doesn't stand anymore."

Dean shook his head, wrapping his arms around Seth's middle, pulling him in so that their chests were pressed together. He didn't understand the nerves that were running through him. He had everything he wanted right there in front of him, ready and willing. He forced a cocky smirk on his lips, his trembling hands sliding down to rest on narrow hips. "My offer always stands," he murmured, looking deep into the dark eyes as his forehead rested against Seth's. "Unless you're tired."

Seth slowly shook his head, his own arms coming up to wrap lazily around Dean's neck, pulling them in so he could kiss the chapped lips lightly. "Never too tired for you," he whispered against Dean's lips. He groaned, Dean pulling back, strong hands coming up to grasp the heavy duty zipper. He bit his lower lip, everything he'd ever wanted was about to happen.

Dean kept his focus on Seth as he touched the warm metal tab, slowly sliding it down an inch. "You want me to?" he asked gently, stilling as he waited for an answer.

Seth looked up into the icy blue eyes, a slow smile creeping along his lips. "I've never wanted anything more in my life Dean," he answered, pushing a firm kiss to Dean's lips, heart pounding.

That was all the encouragement Dean needed. Easily, he prodded Seth's lips with his tongue, tilting his head just a little further to the side so their tongues could meet in Seth's mouth. He groaned, the talented muscle sliding perfectly against him. His kisses trailed lower, down the soft facial hair to the strong column of neck. He felt the raging pulse against his lips as he followed the collar of his coveralls, nipping at the exposed bit of skin.

Seth whimpered, his fingers digging into the mesh material of Dean's cropped jersey. He heard the zipper start to slowly make its descent, Dean's lips pressing kiss after gentle kiss to every bit of skin that was exposed.

Dean wasn't surprised to see that Seth had gone without a shirt under the heavy material, but once he was on his knees the zipper finally making it to its destination, he was rewarded with the sight that Seth only had on a pair of boxer briefs. He smirked, looking up into the flushed face. He tugged the long sleeves off of the other man, the top of the dark blue material flopping down to the floor.

Seth let out a low howl of pleasure, Dean's lips wrapping around the underside of his cock through the thin material of his underwear. He could feel Dean's hot breath against him, the hot, moist tongue running up his erect length. "Dean," he groaned, hands sliding into the short curls, tugging gently. Never in his wildest dreams did he think that he'd ever get to see Dean on his knees in front of him and it be real. "Please, whatever you do, don't stop."

Dean pulled back, licking his lips, fingers curling around the elastic waist band before pulling them down. He watched as Seth's heavy, fully erect cock bounced into sight ahead of him. He looked up, blue eyes capturing brown as his lips parted and he took the engorged head into his mouth.

Seth bit his lower lip so hard he could taste blood. He swallowed hard, unable to look away from the icy pools below him. Whimpers and soft moans slipped free without any filter as Dean moved down his length, taking most of it into the burning cavern.

Dean pushed the coveralls down Seth's legs, pooling them at the bare feet. He pulled back, Seth slipping free from his mouth. He couldn't form words, his hands sliding up the smooth skin of Seth's legs as he stood.

Seth only felt the pounding in his chest as he stepped out of the pool of material, his hands sliding from Dean's hair to his shirt. He refused to let their eyes part as he tugged the older male into his bedroom. Once inside he pushed Dean to sit on the edge of the bed. He easily dropped to his knees in front of Dean and hurriedly starting to unlace the other man's white football pants.

Dean could only watch, mouth dry as he tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. He'd be the first to admit that he'd only ever imagined he'd see Seth between his legs like this in a wet dream. He groaned, Seth roughly pulling at the material, making him lift his hips so the white pants could slide off. He watched as they went flying somewhere behind Seth. He bit back a chuckle, thankful that he wasn't the only one that really wanted this. He hissed, warm lips touching the head of his erection ever so gently.

Seth looked up, a wicked smirk on his lips as he slowly, ever so slowly, slid Dean into his mouth. He worked down the impressive length, taking in as much as he could. He closed his eyes, relaxing his jaw and throat as he moved even lower, taking every bit of Dean into his mouth, his nose pressed firmly in the curly blond pubic hair.

Dean let out a string of curses, his hands fisting in the blankets next to him. "Fuck," he muttered, head thrown back, hips starting to shallowly thrust forward. He'd never felt anything so good on him, and the best part hadn't even come. He knew at that moment, Seth's mouth was the best he'd ever have.

Seth pulled back, hollowing his cheeks as he sucked Dean down again, bringing his mouth up to the very tip before sucking it fully back in. He liked the constant noise from Dean's lips; it only encouraged him to work harder.

"Fuck, enough!" Dean growled, one hand thrusting into the messy bun and yanking Seth back off of his hot, throbbing flesh. "I don't want to cum in your mouth." He saw a flash of defiance in those dark eyes and it only made his cock throb that much harder. He had to fight the urge to throw Seth back on the bed and take him like a wild animal in heat, knowing he'd promised to do it right the first time, and he was going to.

Seth moved back, hands sliding up Dean's jersey, pulling it up and over the blond. His lips crashed into Dean's, both rolling onto the bed. He felt the heavy weight over him of the other man. He whimpered, those calloused hands roaming every inch of him as their lips fought back and forth. His back arched, their erections grinding together in pleasurable friction.

Dean smirked, letting his lips trail down Seth's neck, both hands sliding down to cup the full, firm ass and lifting it up into him. "As much as I'd love to fuck you dry, I don't want to hurt you," he rumbled, his thumbs lovingly stroking the curve of Seth's hips.

Seth groaned, turning to the side, grabbing a bottle of lube from his nightstand. He searched blindly for another moment before realizing that he didn't have anything else. "Dean," he groaned, pulling back just slightly from the other man. He felt worried eyes flicker over him. "I don't have any condoms."

Dean groaned, resting his forehead against Seth's stomach. "I didn't bring any with me either," he replied, jaw tight. He felt a soft hand in his hair, long fingers tilting his head up so that his and Seth's eyes could meet. He bit his lower lip as he moved closer, his and Seth's lips meeting.

Seth's heart was pounding even harder in his chest. "I'm okay bare," he breathed, tensing up. He knew Dean was big on protection because of his sexual habits. He couldn't believe that he was even saying the words out loud. He'd only let one person do him bare and it had taken him over a year before he'd even allowed that.

Dean pulled back, looking into the averted brown orbs. "You sure?" he asked, breath catching in his throat. He swallowed hard at the nod he received. He tried to push out a cocky smirk, knowing he failed. He took the lube bottle in Seth's hand and sat back. He really couldn't believe that he was going to get to feel that man around him, those tight walls bare against his cock. He quickly coated one finger, Seth's legs widening for him.

Seth turned his head to the side, unable to handle the blue eyes on him. They were so intense, so full of passion. His eyes widened when he felt the tip of Dean's finger slowly circle his tight pucker, warm lips against his neck. He gasped, his arms wrapping around Dean's neck, pulling him close. "P-please, d-don't tease," he mumbled, wanting to feel Dean.

Dean only smirked into the sweaty neck, lightly pushing against Seth's entrance, only allowing the tip to enter. He heard the desperate whine in Seth's throat. He eased in just a little further, the tight ring barely allowing him entrance. His finger moved back out, circling the quivering hole once again. He liked the moans already spilling from Seth's lips.

Seth whined, teeth sinking into his lower lip wanting so much more. "Please Dean, I need you," he whimpered, his eyes meeting Dean's and pleading all on their own.

Dean nodded, unable to resist the man under him. He licked his lips, pulling back and coating two fingers in the cool gel. "You're making it really hard to keep my promise," he murmured, closing the cap.

Seth gasped, Dean sliding one finger fully inside of him before pulling out, another following. He let out a moan, head thrown back. "It's okay, as long as it's with you, you can do whatever you want to me," he said without thinking, his eyes snapping open as they met Dean's surprised ones.

A wide, perfect smile crossed Dean's lips. "I told you, I'm gonna do this right," he murmured, kissing Seth over and over again. "I'm not here to fuck you, I want to make love to you."

Seth felt his entire body fall victim to the fire consuming him. "You're so cheesy," he murmured, smiling.

"It's your fault," Dean retorted back, lips trailing down Seth's neck, placing a well earned hickey on his left collarbone. "You make me sound like some sissy."

Seth only continued to smile, back arching as Dean latched onto his nipple both of those sneaky fingers pushing fully inside of him, brushing right over his sweet spot. He let out a low groan, his hips rolling down on Dean's hand. "Please, you're killing me with the foreplay," he muttered, smirking at the nip on his opposite nipple. "Need you inside me now."

"Slow down baby," Dean encouraged, stretching Seth slowly. Only adding a third finger after a few more deep thrusts over Seth's sensitive bundle of nerves. "I wanna make sure you're completely ready for me. I don't want to risk hurting you."

Seth knew he should feel special with the care Dean was showing him, knowing that if it was anyone else Dean wouldn't have even prepped them half as much as he had Seth. He whimpered, wanting, needing more of Dean inside him. He took the initiative, forcing Dean back, a sultry smile on his lips. "I'm ready, are you?" he growled, snatching the lube up and popping the cap open.

Dean nodded, smirking up at his soon to be lover. "Never been more ready in my life," he answered, eyes closing just as the cool lubricant doused his cock. He hadn't meant for Seth to take control, but at that moment, he couldn't fight the other man off. He'd never had anyone take what they wanted from him, not that he would be able to deny Seth anyway.

Seth shook as he looked over Dean's body, really taking in all of its features in the pale moonlight for the first time. He swallowed hard, drizzling an abundant amount over the hard rod. He shut the cap and tossed it to the side, crawling up so that the head pressed against him. He looked down into the half lidded eyes as he bit his lower lip. His heart was hammering so hard it was painful. He'd never felt so nervous as he did at that moment. What if he wasn't good enough? What if he didn't last long? What if Dean didn't enjoy him? He felt conflicted as he leaned in to kiss the parted lips.

Dean caressed Seth's hips with calloused hands. He could feel Seth trembling over him. He eased Seth back, flipping them so he was once again above the smaller male, right between the long legs. He took himself into his hand and guided the head against the tight pucker. "Still okay?" he asked gently, giving Seth one last chance to turn him down if he wasn't ready.

Seth nodded, eyes slipped shut as Dean lifted one leg onto a broad shoulder and pushed into him, the initial burn spreading all through him. He gasped out, back arching as he was slowly filled completely. His lower lip once again fell victim to being worried between sharp teeth as he tried to get used to the initial penetration.

Dean growled low in his throat, Seth's velvety walls tight around him. He leaned forward, kissing Seth gently. It was the tightest thing he'd ever been inside of. "Fuck Seth, you're so god damned tight," he cursed, the other man's arms wrapping around his neck. He let Seth's leg down, and felt it wrap around his waist instantly. "'ve never felt anything so good."

Seth couldn't help but blush, his words completely gone. He held tight to Dean, starting to squirm when he finally realized that Dean hadn't moved since he'd come to the hilt against him. "Please, Dean," he near begged, his lips captured roughly.

Dean eased back before slowly plunging back in, one hand pulling one of Seth's back. Their fingers laced together as he pushed it into the soft mattress. He pulled back from Seth's intoxicating kisses, his free hand grasping a tan hip as he moved a little faster. He'd told Seth he was going to have _him _so undone he couldn't think, but in the end, it was Seth that had made _Dean _barely aware of anything other than their slow moving bodies that rhythmically slapped together. He could only hear their damp skin and rugged breathing, moans and pleasured noises filling the air. All he could _think _about was Seth.

Seth whimpered, knowing he wouldn't last long after Dean's torturous foreplay. His other hand slipped between him and Dean, grasping his leaking cock and slowly jerking himself to Dean's deep thrusts. He couldn't speak, his lips crashing up into Dean's, his body moving with Dean's. He could barely think, pleasure coursing through him, making it harder to do anything but ride each wave Dean sent through him. He felt the muscles in his belly tighten and he knew he wasn't going to last much longer.

Dean could sense it, Seth's body growing tighter and tighter under him. "It's okay, don't hold back," he heatedly whispered, his lips moving down to nibble on Seth's neck, their bodies gliding along each other.

Seth whimpered, Dean angling just right and running straight into his prostate. "Fuck Dean!" he cried, mouth opening and teeth sinking into Dean's shoulder. He bit hard, unable to hold back as Dean thrust a little faster and harder into that spot. He felt the coil inside his belly break and his flesh throb with release, coating his hand and both of their sweat slicked bellies.

Dean's own teeth sunk into the strong pulse of Seth's neck, the hot walls nearly clenching him tight enough that it was almost painful. "Fuck you feel so fucking good," he murmured, releasing the sweaty skin and pressing a kiss to the small wound. "I'm gonna cum too baby." He was trying to warn Seth, give him the option of telling him to pull out before it got that far.

Seth smiled, completely spent and nearly boneless on the mattress. "Then do it," he breathed, sliding his hand free and hooking his arm around Dean's neck, yanking him in so their lips could meet again.

Dean didn't need any more permission as his speed increased, his hips slapping roughly against Seth's. He refused to let Seth's hand go, Seth tightening around him, giving him more pleasure than he could handle. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he growled, slamming forward into the willing body, Seth's name following on a loud yell as he came. He throbbed inside Seth, coating the tight walls with his release. He could only see stars as he laid chest to chest with Seth.

Seth released Dean's hand, running it through the damp curls, smoothing it back from Dean's handsome face. He couldn't help but smile as he looked down at the closed blue eyes. At that moment, he was so high he never thought he'd come down. He was the happiest he'd ever been.

"I love you," Dean breathed, lifting himself up off the smaller body. He hated that he had to pull free from Seth so he could lay next to him. "I gotta get cleaned up."

Seth only chuckled, moving in to snuggle. "No you don't," he playfully argued, pressing kiss after soft kiss to Dean's chest.

Dean's arms automatically wrapped around Seth. "Yeah I do, I gotta go home."

"Stay here."

Dean couldn't help but smile, Seth wasn't going to make it easy for him. "I'm an ass in the morning, I don't wanna take that out on you in a couple hours," he mumbled, eyes dropping. "Or else I wouldn't bring it up."

"I know what you're like in the morning Dean," Seth answered, chuckling. "We did live together at one point in time." He curled in a little closer, tangling his legs with Dean's, his messy head resting on the strong chest. "We can shower in the morning and your work clothes are already here."

Dean groaned, one sneaky hand sliding down over his flaccid flesh, teasing it awake. "I feel like it's not my clothes you're worried about," he murmured, the soft hand stroking him to his full length.

Seth shook his head, propping up on one elbow. "I finally get you in my bed and you think I'm going to let you out before I get a chance to ride you?" he asked wantonly, almost purring as he moved to straddle Dean's waist. "Unless you're too tired old man."

Excitement and mischievousness flashed in the blue eyes. "Old man huh? Let's see if you can keep up."

* * *

Roman groaned, rubbing his face with his hands. He was staring down at the paper as he munched on his little bit of toast. He looked across the table at Cody, finding the same scowl firmly in place that he'd seen for the last week. "You know, if there's something on your mind, you could say something," he finally said, looking down at his watch. He had a good half hour before he had to finish getting ready to get to the University.

"What makes you think there's something wrong?" Cody asked back, eyes never leaving his phone, which at that moment was laying on the table. His jaw was tight as he started at the letters, refusing to give in and look up into the tired face.

"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but you've only said five things to me since Halloween," Roman answered, taking another bite of toast. He just looked at Cody, growing slightly irritated with the other male's flippant attitude. He shook his head, looking back down at the newspaper.

"I'm sure I've said more than that to you," Cody chirped, tapping away at the screen before taking a bite of his cereal.

"Really, because I'll I've heard out of your mouth is 'Morning.', 'Have a good day.', 'Welcome home.', 'how was work?', and 'good night'. Oh, and I think 'fine', 'yeah', and 'you too' maybe sprinkled in there some where. What's the matter with you?" Roman snapped, brows furrowing. He was getting sick and tired of the near silent treatment Cody was giving him. "Is this about Brad?"

Cody's head snapped up, his flashing blue eyes meeting grey ones. "Why the hell would I care about Brad?" he growled out, hand tightening on his spoon. "It's your life, do whatever the hell you want with it." He wasn't going to admit that seeing Roman and Brad kissing was still bothering him. He'd been the one to tell Roman to find someone and move on.

"Then why are you so pissed off? What the hell did I do to you?" Roman snapped back, slamming his hands down on the table, his eyes focused on Cody's, refusing to look away.

"You really wanna know why I'm pissed off?" Cody asked back, standing. He threw his spoon in the half eaten bowl of cereal and grabbed his phone. "I'm pissed off because I'm—" He stopped, the last word sticking in his throat. He grit his teeth, looking away from Roman's narrowed eyes. "I'm fucking late for work," he murmured, turning his back to the other man and walking back to his room, shutting the door silently behind him.

Roman sat there, blowing out a heated sigh. He shook his head, checking his watch again, thinking that it might do him some good to get in early, maybe he'd catch Brad, since he hadn't seen him since the party as well.

* * *

It wasn't long before Roman was walking into his shared office, almost surprised to see Bad sitting at his desk, chewing on the easer end of a pencil as he scribbled a few things in his daily planner. "Hey, haven't seen you in a while," he greeted, taking a seat in his chair. He was almost taken aback at the doe eyed look he got from the other man.

"Oh… uh hey," Brad answered shakily, a blush creeping along his cheeks before his eyes glued themselves back to his planner. Whatever he'd been thinking about was suddenly gone as his heart started to race. "Well, better get to classes."

Roman frowned, looking up at the clock on the wall, finding that Brad's first class didn't start for another half hour. "Are you going to avoid me too?" he asked gently, successfully stopping Brad from standing. "Look, if this is about what happened at the party," he started, his fingers starting to fiddle in his lap. "I didn't mean to make it uncomfortable for you like that. I know you're straight."

Brad blew out a sigh, looking down at his own lap. "I was just a bit drunk," he answered, looking up into the dark grey eyes. "I wasn't completely thinking when I kissed you and I've just felt a little awkward."

Roman let out a low chuckle, smiling. "And here I thought you suddenly hated me or something," he said, relaxing even more when he heard Brad's low laugh, those blue eyes looking at him full of mischief.

"Now, why the hell would I hate you? I'm the one that started it, I mean you didn't have to kiss me like that, but ya know, for face value we had to be pretty convincing," he laughed, poking his chest out proudly. "Or at least I hope my performance was good enough."

"If that was just a performance, no wonder women love you," Roman teased, earning another laugh from his office mate. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you're probably one of the best kissers I know."

Brad tried to push the impending blush away. "Well, thank you, and as awkward as this is to say, you aren't half bad yourself," he remarked, leaning back in his chair, smiling when his and Roman's eyes met. He was glad that Roman had caught up with him. He'd felt so flustered and awkward about their kiss that he'd been doing everything in his power to avoid Roman. He wanted to get his thoughts together before they actually talked about it.

"Well, on other news from the party, Cody hasn't said much to me since then," Roman went on, one weight lifting from his shoulders. "He's pretty mad at me over it, even if he won't admit it."

Brad started to frown, reaching over and resting a hand on Roman's shoulder. "Hey, maybe it's not meant to be this way," he began, scooting a little closer. "You know some people believe in fate, maybe you and him are supposed to be together even through all this. Some things aren't supposed to change, why else would he be mad?"

Roman shrugged. He wasn't a believer in fate, at least not the kind Brad was talking about. "I doubt that," he breathed, shaking his head. "He's too wrapped up in Drew." He smiled sadly at Brad, brushing his hand off. "But if we don't go, we are going to be late to classes now."

Brad rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "You know, you better be happy you're you, because if it was anyone else tell me all this, I would've told them to man up by now," he teased, earning a playful shove as they parted in different directions. He looked over his shoulder, admiring Roman's strong back. He shook his head, turning his attention back to his walk to his class. He had to stop thinking for once and let what had happened go.

* * *

Seth smiled, humming along with the radio as drove down the residential street. Nothing could ruin his good mood. He'd just gotten done with his latest assignment and was in Dean's neighborhood and decided that he would drop in for a little evening fun. He could feel his body shiver at the thought, knowing that in that last two weeks him and Dean had been going at it like horny teenage boys.

He pulled into the dark driveway, and nearly tripped trying to hurry out of the Honda to make it up to the door. He bit his lower lip, wondering how long he'd still be in the dreamy, cloud nine phase of his and Dean's relationship. He made it to the door and knocked roughly, jitters running through him. He was going to jump on Dean and get him in the living room tonight, Moxley be damned.

A moment later the door opened, light blue eyes more than a little surprised when they landed on Seth. There was no smile on Dean's lips as Seth stepped in and kissed him roughly on the mouth. "What are you doing here?" he asked cautiously, quickly breaking their kiss with a peck before stepping back fully.

Seth cocked his head to the side, a little confused at the question. "I need a reason to come see you?" he asked, resting his hands on his hips. He looked down at his feet, Moxley already rubbing up against him. "Aw, I missed you too Mox."

Dean swallowed hard, running a hand through his hair. "Now's not exactly a good time," he murmured, looking up nervously. He could see the confusion in Seth's eyes. "I mean, could you give me like half an hour?"

Seth could feel that something wasn't right. "Dean? What's going on?" he asked, heart starting to thump uncomfortably in his chest. He looked over Dean's bare chest, wondering what could be so important for him to leave and come back.

"Dean, how's it look?" a soft, female voice called.

Seth looked towards the hall, heart pounding with each click of heels on the hardwood. His eyes landed on the pale woman standing there. He swallowed hard, heart stopping in his chest.

Her black hair was curled loosely at the ends, cascading over his shoulders to rest nicely beside her breasts. The transparent black halter top was thinly trimmed in light blue and gathered between her ample breasts with a light blue band. The match skirt had a thick matching band in lace that rode low on her perfect hips, the skirt the same near transparence as the top and only went to mid thigh. Black fishnet stockings flowed from underneath down into a pair of ankle high stiletto heeled boots.

Seth looked her up and down, jaw tight. Anger and hurt built up inside of him, making his entire body shake with betrayal. He could feel his eyes slowly start to leak, unable to hold back the burning tears as he took a step back.

His mind was racing. He could barely settle on one thought before another took over but each one led to the same thing: everything Phil had said was true. Dean had only used him for one thing before moving on to someone else.

Seth wasn't going to be able to tame the wildness of the other man. He wasn't going to be the only one Dean would be with. He'd been stupid to think that Dean would love him; that those words were true, that they weren't just some ploy to get into his pants. He bit his lower lip, feeling even more stupid with each passing thought. He stepped back, tripping over Moxley, nearly falling as he tried to get away from the sight.

Dean's heart jumped as he stepped towards Seth. He reached out, ready to catch the smaller male if he fell. His head snapped to the side when Seth lashed out at him, a strong fist crashing right into his right cheek. He felt the inside of his cheek slice on a tooth and blood slowly began to seep into his mouth.

"Don't you fucking touch me!" Seth snapped, turning to the door and yanking it open with shaking hands. His entire body was numb as he ran out into the night. He hurried to his car, yanking the door open and nearly falling in.

"Seth, wait!" Dean called, nearly yelling as he chased after Seth. "It's not what it looks like!" He slowed when he saw Seth backed out of his driveway and nearly peeled out to get away from him. "Fuck!"

Seth bit back a sob as he thought about the pale woman standing there. She was absolutely beautiful, why wouldn't Dean want to sleep with her? He took a deep breath, thinking back on how the two had been so easy going with each other, how she had no problem with putting her hands on Dean. He'd known the moment his eyes landed on her face that it had been Paige in Dean's house. He shook his head, the tears so think that they blurred his vision, making it almost impossible to see.

After a couple of blocks, Seth parked the car on a deserted side street. Shakily, he pulled his phone from his hip pocket and scrolled through the numbers, thinking of only one person that he wanted to talk to. He could barely see it as he hit the call button. He raised the shaking phone to his ear, listening to it ring. He'd barely heard 'hello' on the other side before he let out a whimper.

"You were right," he gasped, all the built up pain evident in his cracked voice. He hiccupped as he closed his eyes, the hot tears seeping from under his tightly shut lids and streaming down his cheeks. "He was just playing me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…."

"Seth? Where are you?"

"Are you busy?" Seth asked a moment later, trying hard to end the sniffling. He needed someone, anyone. "Can I come over, just for a little while?" He heard the other man sigh on the line. "Please, I just need someone. I need you."

"The door's open Seth." It was tired, but soft and inviting.

Seth smiled softly, cradling the phone with his hands. "Thank you Phil," he breathed, moving to put the car in gear. "Thank you."

* * *

(A/N): Well, first and foremost, that sex scene. Man, I felt really outta practice with that! Can you tell? And Cody and Roman.. jealousy to the max, and then Brad… hmm… love that guy. And now Paige and Dean. Anyone believe him? Well, thoughts are appreciated! As always, onwards and upwards! Title is Love Is Hell by Theory Of A Deadman.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	23. Love And Pain

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 22.**

**Note: Hope everyone likes it! See You Friday! Enjoy! -JJ**

* * *

_**Love And Pain**_

Cody gasped, Drew's lips moving down his neck. His hands wound tight in the long brown hair, his hips arching up into Drew's. He bit his lower lip down as his eyes closed. He didn't dare open them, knowing he'd only be disappointed when he saw the Scot's face. He whimpered, his imagination letting him visualize that it was Roman over him, kissing him so sweetly, so tenderly.

It was mid-November and Cody still hadn't talked with Roman much, his mind still focused on the way he held Brad, the way their lips were crushed together in a soul stealing kiss. He'd hoped it would've brushed off after the initial shock, but it had bothered him more than he wanted to admit. What pissed him off more was that he wished it had been him pressed up against the wall with Roman's lips on his, their bodies glued together in the night.

Light blue eyes cracked open, warm hands resting on his hips. He moved, turning so he was over Drew. He looked down into the darker blue eyes, both wide in surprise and completely filled with want. He bit his lower lip, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it up over his head. He couldn't deny that he still wanted more with Drew, he just wanted Roman to get out of his thoughts so he could allow himself to have more with the Scot.

Drew's pink tongue rolled slowly across his lower lip, his eyes focused on Cody as his hands were taken and pressed against the strong chest. His heart was pounding, unsure of how far he could take this. He wouldn't lie and say that he didn't want to touch Cody all over, tease and torment him with the sweetest pleasure before giving in and taking him to the highest of highs his body had ever felt.

Cody let out a low whimper, the pads of Drew's fingers slowly sliding down his pink nipples, circling them, before running over them again. His hips ground down into Drew's, both hard at their intense make out session and now the newly exposed skin. He hissed, growling low when hot lips pressed against his chest, Drew's tongue rolling a burning trail over one nipple, taking the arching peak into his mouth.

Drew's eyes closed, taking in every taste he could from Cody's smooth skin. He released the pink nub before moving to the other side, giving the same slow pleasurable torture. His hands rested on Cody's hips, both grinding a little harder together. He didn't want to ask how far Cody wanted to go, sure that if he uttered a word, whatever it was that had come over Cody would lift and he'd be once again left wanting more.

Cody whimpered, pressing his forehead against Drew's, pushing their lips together in a chaste kiss. "Don't stop," he whispered again Drew's lips, telling his body to calm down slightly. He felt bad for trying to force Roman out of his mind, at least long enough for him to enjoy some intimacy with his boyfriend.

Drew nodded, his hands gliding along the edge of the dark blue jeans, his nimble fingers fumbling with the button and zipper of Cody's jeans. "You sure?" he asked softly, forcing his hands to stop before he pushed for too much too fast.

Cody nodded, his own hands forcing Drew's shirt up his chest, his lips attaching to Drew's neck, his own fingers running over the taut muscles. He raked his fingers over Drew's nipples, earning a deep moan against his lips. He swallowed it down as his lips parted and his tongue met Drew's again. "Drew," he whimpered, his hands rushing down to undo Drew's jeans, yanking them open to expose the other man to the warm room.

Drew looked down, Cody stroking his hard flesh. He tried to readjust as much as he could on the couch, tugging Cody's jeans down to mid thigh, exposing his equally hard flesh to the room. He couldn't help but smirk as his hand wrapped around Cody and himself, stroking them lightly.

Cody let out a whimper, watching as Drew's foreskin covered the head before sliding back down. He'd always been fascinated that Drew was uncut, though once he was fully hard it only slid up over half of the engorged head when pushed up. He closed his eyes, kissing Drew deeper. Once again, all he could see was Roman touching him, the Samoan man kissing him just as gently but possessively as he had Brad.

Drew groaned, his hips bucking up into Cody's, the slightly younger male thrusting into his hand with just as much vigor. His hand moved faster, his mouth over taken by Cody's forceful mouth, demanding more and more as they moved faster and faster. "Cody, is this…" he trailed off, groaning at the pressure Cody pushed into him.

"This is good," Cody replied, wanting to finish. He was so close, enjoying someone else's hand on him. "Please, it feels good." He grabbed onto Drew's shoulders, their lips moving against each other rougher, their tongues battling in Cody's mouth, their hips thrusting harder.

Drew knew Cody was close, his flesh starting to throb in his hand. He wasn't too far behind, just watching the pleasurable waves flow through Cody made his heart pound. He couldn't bring himself to say anything, his lips molding to Cody's once again, his body slowly tightening.

Cody pulled back, dipping his head down into the crook of Drew's neck, nibbling on the damp flesh, breath ragged. "I'm close," he murmured, finding it harder and harder to hold on. "Can I?"

"Don't hold back," Drew answered, both panting as he continued to stroke them, Cody's entire body tensing over him before he felt hot release land on his bare belly. He couldn't help but smile at the way Cody moaned out his name. That voice was enough for the tension in the base of his belly break and he felt his release shoot over his already messy stomach. He thrust into his hand, milking every last drop out before relaxing into the couch cushions. He smiled, Cody's lips trailing back up to his.

Cody hated the sudden feeling of guilt in the pit of his stomach. He was dating Drew, he should be able to let things escalate past kissing. He whimpered, pulling back, looking down at the sticky, white mess. He couldn't help but blush as he stood and fixed his jeans. "I'll get something to clean you up," he murmured, almost embarrassed that he'd gotten off with Drew like two inexperienced teenage boys.

* * *

Seth curled in closer to Phil on the queen sized bed, his arms wrapped around the other man as he began to wake. His dark eyes cracked open, his head pounding with a headache. He pulled back gently, smiling down at the still sleeping male. He'd been staying the night with Phil for the last couple days, unable to go home and sleep in his bed. He sat up, his fingers trailing over the soft facial hair.

Phil looked so innocent, so sweet, like he'd been when they had gotten together. There was a seven year age gap, but that had never stopped Phil from doing the silly young things Seth wanted to do, nor did it stop them from growing serious quickly.

Seth leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Phil's forehead, wondering where they'd gone wrong, why things had turned out so horrible between them. They'd been perfect, so happy with just each other before. He didn't understand why Phil had starting being so physical with him, when things had turned.

"Morning," Phil groaned, his olive eyes cracking open to meet dark brown ones "Sleep good?" He moved to sit up, wrapping an arm around Seth's shoulders, pulling him in and lightly kissing his bearded cheek. "You were crying against last night."

Seth felt a lead weight in his stomach. "I'm sorry," he murmured, leaning in and resting his head on Phil's bare shoulder. "I shoulda known better, I don't know why I'm still this upset." He felt Phil's arm tighten around him, pulling him in close. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I thought I was different. I just fell for his games too."

Phil hushed Seth, kissing the messy hair. "Don't apologize. We both made a lot of mistakes," he returned, closing his eyes. "I did a lot of things I never meant to do." His lips moved down to Seth's temple, slowly moving down his face. He stopped at the corner of Seth's mouth, waiting for permission before he tried making any kind of move to kiss Seth's lips.

Seth tilted his head, his lips barely brushing against Phil's. His heart lurched in his chest; that long forgotten spark zapping between them. His hand came up to cup Phil's cheek, pulling him in closer as their lips touched gently, both closing their eyes. He missed this Phil, this was the man he'd fallen in love with.

Phil pulled back after a few slow, tender pecks. "I still love you Seth," he breathed, his hands coming up to run through the loose two-toned locks. "I know I said some shitty things, but I didn't mean them. I never mean to hit you, I just get so angry and I can't control it."

Seth nodded, looking up into truthful olive eyes. It hurt thinking that he'd forgotten about this man, that he hadn't noticed the change when it happened. He leaned in again, his lips touching Phil's a little firmer, his hands running through the dark hair. He accepted Phil's apology, turning to push the ravenette back against the pillows. "Let's start over," he breathed, pulling back just enough to speak. "Forget everything that happened before now and be like we used to be. Okay?"

Phil felt his heart jump in his chest, nodding instantly. "I'd like that a lot," he answered, pulling Seth back down into him. He held tight to Seth, telling himself to keep hold of him this time, show him how deep his love really went, how far he was willing to go for them.

* * *

Cody ran after the ringing phone, grabbing it and holding it to his ear. "Hello?" he asked, cradling the cordless house phone with his shoulder as he walked back into the kitchen, stirring at his noodles on the stove. He enjoyed having Monday off, he could have as many noodles as he wanted without hearing Roman complain, not that he'd heard much from the other man since he'd snapped at him the week before.

"Hello, is Mr. Reigns available?" he woman on the other side of the line asked, her tone very formal and pleasant.

"Er, he's not in at the moment. Can I take a message?" Cody asked, turning the fire off, wondering who this woman was asking for Roman.

"I just wanted to call and confirm his reservations for the fifteenth of December here at Bijou's," the woman said, still upbeat and friendly. "Do you know if he's going to be making those reservations or would I need to call back at a later time?"

Cody felt his jaw tighten. "No, he'll be making the reservations," he answered, sure that the woman on the line could hear his lack of enthusiasm. "No, thank you for calling." He said a normal goodbye before hanging up the phone. He knew that restaurant. It was one of the oldest and nicest places in Pensacola. He finished making his noodles, after he tossed the cordless phone on the counter.

Once at the table, he stabbed at the long noodles with his fork, twirling them around before sliding them back into the broth. He was thinking about who Roman would be talking to a place like that so close to Christmas. He knew that classes would be over around the fifth and final grades had to be in the week after that. It seemed perfect for Roman to take Brad out.

Cody snarled down at his food, suddenly losing his appetite. He shook his head, feeling stupid for being so jealous. He'd been the one to tell Roman to start dating, but he hadn't wanted him to find someone like Brad.

Now, Brad was a piece of work. He was absolutely gorgeous, both in his facial features as well as his sexy, lean body. He had to be smart to be a professor, and him and Roman spent a lot of time together. Not to mention they had to get along well, why else would Roman invite him over?

It only made Cody close his eyes before resting his head in his hands. "For fuck's sake," he growled, missing the sound of the front door opening. He looked up a moment later, watching as Roman walked in, a smile on those bronze lips.

"You're not eating noodles again," Roman teased, chuckling as he slipped his shoes off and walked over. He shook his head, ignoring the dark look on Cody's face. "How's the day off going?" He'd grown almost used to Cody ignoring him over the last couple weeks, sure that the other male would get over it sooner or later. He wasn't going to let it bother him anymore.

"I confirmed your reservations at Bijou's," Cody answered, confused grey eyes meeting his darkened blue ones. "I never thought you would be into that kind of place." He knew he was being an ass, but it just seemed to come off easier than admitting that he was jealous.

Roman froze, his mind running over what Cody was talking about. He closed his eyes momentarily, remembering the reservations. He'd forgotten all about them. "Oh, um, thank you," he answered, starting his walk back into the kitchen. He pulled out a glass and poured himself something to drink, turning back to where Cody was still glaring at him. "Is this how we're going to live now?"

"Like what? I'm just sitting here," Cody retorted, looking down at his noodles, twirling them once again on his fork. "Have fun on your date. I'm sure Brad's pretty excited about it."

Roman rolled his eyes, growling out loud. He walked over to the table. "Is this still about Brad?" he asked, completely exasperated with Cody. He set his glass down, looking down into the dark face. "There's nothing going on between me and Brad. Okay? I don't know what you're thinking but stop it."

Cody's jaw tightened as he looked up into Roman's taut face. "You both seemed pretty wrapped up in each other on Halloween. You know, with your tongue down his throat and all outside," he bit, dropping his fork and crossing his arms. "Seems like it was pretty easy to move on."

Roman slammed his hands down on the table, making Cody's bowl and his glass rattle from the impact. "Don't you dare say something like that," he growled, his eyes narrowing. "You don't know a fucking thing."

"And whose fault is that?"

Roman felt the words hit him right in the gut. He knew what Cody was implying. They hadn't spoken of their life before since that night they'd decided on having the party. His lips pursed before thinning into a tight line. "Well, since you like to jump to all these crazy ass assumptions, Brad's completely straight. He was fucking drunk at the party and it was just something that happened. If you're talking about how he acted when you and Drew were there, he's always that way, ask Dean and Seth. He's a giant flirt," he heatedly explained, shaking his head.

Cody's eyes widened, never seeing so much built up anger in Roman. He sat there completely still and quiet. "I… I didn't…." He let his voice trail off, watching as Roman walked away from the table. "Roman."

"Don't. Just fucking don't," he snapped, loosening his tie as he walked towards his bedroom. He stopped at the entrance to the hall, turning to look at Cody. "By the way, I made those reservations six months ago for you."

Cody felt his heart stammer in his chest, suddenly feeling like a bigger asshole than he'd meant to. His head bowed forward as Roman's door slammed shut. He bit his lower lip, his shaking hand picking up the fork and poking at his lukewarm noodles. Once again, he'd fucked up.

* * *

Phil pushed Seth up against his bedroom wall, their lips crashing together in heated kisses, their hands flying over each other's bodies. They'd been trying to work on their makeshift beginning the last couple days, but with the sexual attraction still strong between them, it was hard to keep their hands to themselves sometimes. Today, was one of those days.

Seth groaned, his hands yanking Phil's shirt up over his head before diving back in and nibbling on the strong neck, sucking the tender flesh into his mouth and biting before releasing it. He smiled, earning groan after pleasured groan from the older male.

Phil pulled up Seth's shirt, tossing it off to the side as their lips met again. He groaned, sucking the same moans from Seth's lungs. His hands ran down the long back, over the tattoo he knew was there. He pulled back, turning Seth and looking over the Japanese characters. "I remember when you got this," he murmured, kneeling down and kissing from the base of the long tattoo up to the very top, at the base of Seth's neck.

"You should," Seth whimpered, the hot lips only sending pleasurable tingles through him. "You put them there."

Phil made a small noise of approval in the back of his throat. "Yeah, you looked so good laying there shirtless on my table. You know how hard it was not to touch you more than I was supposed to?" he asked teasingly, turning Seth back to him and kissing him lightly.

Seth smiled, shaking his head. He relaxed into Phil's touch, the long fingers pulling his hair free from its bun and ruffling the long locks. "Mm, feels good," he purred, trying not to think how Dean used to do the same thing when he thought Seth was asleep. He moved back in, kissing Phil's chest, his lips slowly moving lower to the tent in the loose basketball shorts. He opened his mouth and took the straining head into his mouth over the material, listening to Phil as he groaned shamelessly. "You want this?"

Phil nodded. "Yeah," he answered, watching as Seth grabbed the waistband and yanked them down along with his underwear. "Hey, let me record you." He saw the devilish look in Seth's eyes and his heavily hanging cock throbbed with want. "We used to make dirty movies all the time for each other."

Seth nodded, letting Phil retrieve his phone from the pocket of his shorts before he was pushed up against the wall. He leaned in, looking up at the camera almost sluttishly as he gave the long organ and slow, flat tongued lick from the base to the tip. He easily swirled his tongue around the tip, catching the small bead of precum on his tongue before he took the head into his mouth.

Phil's head lolled back in pleasure, his eyes half lidded as he watched Seth. Fuck, that man was so fucking sexy on his knees, sucking him off. He wound one hand tightly in the two toned locks, tugging gently for Seth to deep throat him. He let out a low moan when he felt Seth's lips press against the base of his cock, his straight black pubic hair pressed against Seth's nose. He knew he couldn't last long watching the other man, and with that video, anytime he felt lonely at night, all he had to do was replay it.

Seth looked up into the camera with a smile, grabbing Phil's cock and slapping it against his flat tongue, giving the other man a good show. "Like this?" he asked, kissing down the length before swallowing him back down. "You gonna cum for me? I wanna taste it."

Phil nodded, the tight coil in his belly tightening just a little more before breaking. He almost howled out in pleasure as he came in the hot mouth, his thick cock pulsing between those plush pink lips. He looked down, watching as some of the translucent release slipped free from the corners of Seth's mouth, dribbling down his chin. He flipped the phone off, tossing it to the side as he dropped down and plundered Seth's mouth with his, tasting himself on the talented tongue.

* * *

Seth checked his phone, waiting for a new assignment from his boss. When his eyes landed on a message from Dean, his hands started to shake. He hadn't talked to the other man in two weeks, neither of them trying to have contact with the other. He opened the message, eyes narrowing at the words.

_I just wanted you to know that it wasn't what you think. I miss you. I wanna talk to you. Please answer me._

Seth shook his head. He didn't want to have anything to do with Dean. If it wasn't what it looked like, then why had it taken the blond two weeks to try and contact him? He tossed his phone back on the nightstand, resting his head on the pillows, looking up when he heard Phil walk out of the shower. He gave a soft smile, closing his eyes. Once the other man had moved into bed with him, he snuggled into his side and fell asleep instantly, an uncomfortable and restless sleep over taking him.

Phil knew something was wrong. He pulled free from Seth, sure that he would regret what he was about to do. He picked up Seth's phone, and flipped through the messages, finding the one from Dean. He glared at the phone. He quickly got out of bed and went for his own phone, typing in the number. He wasn't going to give Seth up again, not to that asshole. He'd already fucked up and broke Seth's heart, he wasn't going to let him do it again.

He eased back into the bedroom, setting Seth's phone on the nightstand before leaving and walking back into the living room. He flopped down on the couch, tapping on the screen.

_This is Punk. Leave Seth alone. You've done enough to him and us. He's happy here._

He sent the message, a confident smile resting on his lips. He was surprised when he felt his phone vibrate almost immediately. He looked down at the message, his smile curling down into a deep frown. He didn't make it through the entire derogatory message before he hit the reply button and attached his and Seth's recent video. He knew it would keep Dean away from them, seeing Seth on his knees blowing him. He sent it and he wasn't surprised when Dean didn't respond.

* * *

Roman and Dean sat at the table drinking coffee, both in terrible moods. Roman wasn't over the argument him and Cody had had the day before and Dean was still pissed off over the video Phil had sent him the night before. Neither wanted to start the conversation, but both needed the company before they did or said something stupid.

"So, things with Brad are back to normal?" Dean asked, taking a sip of his black coffee. "Seth said that Cody text him a bunch over it." He looked up into the grey eyes as they closed and the dark head nodded. "Don't you have classes today?"

Roman shook his head. "I gave them the day off since Thanksgiving break is this week," he said softly, looking down at the table. He didn't want to think about break, he'd be spending it at his parents with his entire family and he was sure they would ask about him and Cody. "It starts tomorrow, and I just needed the day off."

"Yeah, I know that feeling. Titus nearly threw a fit when I called in this morning. He understood but he's got a lot of jobs to do and Paige isn't fast enough yet," he explained, setting his mug down.

"The skank you cheated on Seth with?" Cody nearly seethed as he walked out of his room, dressed in the nice black slacks he wore to work with a nice light blue button up shirt, the sleeves rolled up to the elbow. "I really hope she was worth it."

Roman nearly spit his coffee out as his eyes raced from Cody's scowling face to Dean. "What?" he gasped, setting his mug back down as he watched the fire flash between Dean and Cody. "What the hell happened?"

"He hasn't told you? He couldn't keep his dick in his pants and Seth came over—"

"Shut your fucking mouth, you don't know a god damned thing!" Dean snapped, jumping up from his chair, ready to storm over and punch Cody right in the face. "I didn't cheat on him."

"Well, excuse me for finding that hard to believe when you have your coworker in your house in her fucking underwear," Cody yelled, puffing his chest out. He'd heard all about it from Seth. He knew all the details and that Seth and Phil were back together happily.

Roman shook his head, darting to grab Dean before he could go after Cody. "Don't you dare," he growled, looking over at Cody with equally steel eyes. "Do you always have to start fights?"

Cody eyes widened before narrowing on the Samoan. "I'm not starting anything. I'm just bringing light to the situation. It doesn't feel good being left in the dark does it?" he snarled, turning his back to the two and grabbing his shoes. He could feel the rising tension in the room, both men glaring at him. "Fuck both of you, neither one of you could be honest to save your own damned lives." He opened the door, grabbed his keys and left, slamming the front door behind him.

Dean yanked free from Roman's tight hold, fights clenched tight at his sides. "What the fuck is wrong with him? What the hell happened between you two? Because he's never acted like such a little bitch!"

Roman groaned, covering his face with his hands. He picked up his near empty coffee mug and hurled it into the kitchen, the porcelain shattering as it hit the sink. "I don't know what the fuck's going on," he mumbled, Dean's surprised blue eyes on him. "He saw me and Brad kissing at the party and he's had this fucking attitude since then."

Dean was confused. "You kissed Brad? Isn't he straight?" he asked, shaking his head, trying to wrap his head around the situation.

Roman nodded. "Yeah, he was drunk and it just happened. It wasn't anything serious, it was just for show to get Cody off my back about dating. Then next thing I know I've got _that _living with me," he exclaimed, his voice rising into a near yell. "Then fucking Bijou's calls about those fucking reservations from six months ago. We had a fight over that too. I just need a break."

Dean nodded, knowing the feeling all to well. He was in need of a break too. "Well shit man," he breathed, flopping back down on his chair. "What the fuck is happening?"

Roman looked over, shaking his head. He had no clue what the hell was going on. "So what the fuck is going on with you and Seth? You two were all over each other at the party, what happened?" he asked, sitting down and staring across the table at Dean. "You didn't really have some trick in her damned underwear in your house, did you?"

Dean closed his eyes, rubbing his face roughly with his hands. "Don't punch me, because this is just a huge fucking misunderstanding," he began, looking up to find the darkest, meanest look he'd ever seen on the bronze face. "But yeah, Paige was over in some lingerie but we weren't sleeping together." He looked down at the table. "And now Seth's back with Punk and that ass wipe sent me this fucking video of him and Seth, like he was rubbing it in my face."

Roman just looked at Dean, trying hard to keep the growing anger inside him from spilling over. "Are you kidding me?" he asked through clenched teeth. "You expect me to believe that you weren't going to sleep with this woman? I'm not stupid Dean, I know you, I know how you are."

Dean growled, noticing the challenge in Roman's eyes and voice. "Well, how about you sit back and fucking listen and then maybe you'll see what I'm saying," he bit out, taking a breath. He took Roman's silence as the go ahead and after a moment he began telling Roman his half of the story.

* * *

(A/N): So, everyone hates everyone. Sounds about right. So this Paige and Dean thing is getting thick and Cody and Roman are fighting like cats and dogs, all because Cody's super jealous! And Seth's back with Phil. Hmm… Well, there's a lot in store! I'd love to hear your thoughts! As always onwards and upwards! Title Is Love And Pain by Eamon.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	24. Fight For You

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 23.**

**Note: A wild chapter appears! Haha. Actually, this chapter and last chapter were supposed to be one giant chapter but it didn't flow right and was too long so I split them up. I originally planned to upload them together but, meh, life got in the way and I forgot, so have this chapter early! See you again Friday! Enjoy -JJ**

* * *

_**Fight For You**_

Cody stepped into the tattoo parlor, looking up at the blond woman at the counter. "Is Seth here?" he asked softly, the smile on her lips slowly fading. "He asked me to come by."

"He's in the back. Let me get him," Ashley said, walking around from the counter and disappeared behind the saloon style doors. "Seth." She walked over to where the two toned man was sitting on Punk's tattoo table, filling pages of the older male's tattoo album with his newest artwork. "Cody's up front."

Phil looked up from the stack of photos, his eyes shooting over to Seth. "I didn't know you were going to hang out with him today," he commented, Seth's chocolate eyes meeting his. He felt a little jolt in his heart. "You gonna be back?"

Seth smiled, leaning in and kissing Phil's lips gently. "Yeah, just wanted to go for a walk with Cody, that's all. I promised you sushi didn't I?" he teased, jumping up from his perch and walking to the front. "Have fun."

Phil smiled, watching as Seth walked up to the front and disappeared past the doors. He was happy again with Seth and Seth was happy with him. It really was like the beginning all over again where they only needed each other.

Seth looked over his shoulder, throwing a smile at Ashley before the door closed behind him and Cody as they walked out into the cool fall air. He turned to the other male, his smile instantly falling. "Thanks for coming by," he murmured, leading Cody down the street.

Cody shook his head, looking over at the tired face. "How're you holding up?" he asked gently, knowing that everything with Dean was taking a bigger toll on Seth than the other man was letting on.

Seth shrugged, shaking his head. "I'm in there," he answered, looking down at the concrete. "Things with Phil are actually really nice right now. We both wanted to start over and it's really like how it was when we first got together."

"Are you happy though?" Cody asked suddenly, picking up on the small touch of melancholy in Seth's voice. It was the elephant in the room that had to be discussed.

Seth shook his head, looking up into the blue eyes. "Almost as happy as you," he answered, looking back down. "You and Rome have to stop arguing. You're just hurting each other." He hated watching the two the way they were now, especially knowing how they used to be.

Cody crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at the concrete as well. "I'm perfectly happy with my life," he growled out, stopping when he realized just how bitter he sounded. He sighed, looking up into the knowing brown eyes. "We're not here to talk about me."

Seth smiled softly. "I miss him, stupid huh?" he asked, chuckling humorlessly. "Dean's always been a playboy, I don't know why I thought I was different. I just thought with everything…." He trailed off, refusing to think about it.

Cody reached over, resting his hand on the other man's arm trying to give some sort of comfort. He'd thought that Seth was different from the other's he'd heard about. Who spends all those years waiting, loving from a far only to throw it all away for a new slice of ass? He let out a sigh, thinking about the yelling match him and Roman and Dean had been in. "Maybe he's telling the truth," he finally said, looking into the misty brown eyes.

Seth shook his head. "She was standing there in her underwear Cody, who the hell does that?" he questioned out loud, rubbing his face roughly with both hands. He let out a troubled growl, dropping his hands at his sides. "I got played, it's that simple." He pushed out a breath, looking up at the bright blue sky. "But that doesn't stop me from thinking about him."

Cody nodded absent mindedly, wondering if Seth could read his mind. He felt that way a lot with Roman. There were times he'd be focused on putting books on the shelves or tiding up the store and out of no where Roman would pop into his mind, making him wonder what the other man was up to, if he was still angry with him.

"So, no therapy today?" Seth asked, wanting to change the subject. "How's that going for you? Anything come back yet?"

Cody shook his head. "No, still the same as day one. I haven't even had one of those dreams for a while. Maybe I'm out of memories," he tried to joke, the humor gone. "Gail's out of town for Thanksgiving and Dame closed the store for today since we're having our huge sale on Black Friday. I have to be there at five."

Seth nodded, thankful that he didn't work retail. "I don't think you're out of memories, Cody," he murmured, thinking over all the time that Cody and Roman had spent together. "I think you're just fighting them."

Cody instantly shot a look at Seth, their eyes meeting. His blues narrowed, his jaw tight. "And what makes you think that?" he asked, nearly growling at the other man. He was tired of people assuming that they knew what was going on in his head.

"Because I know how you look at him," Seth murmured, turning his head and starting back down the street until they found a little bench to sit on. He patted the warm concrete next to him. "And with everything going on, that's got to be terrifying."

Cody swallowed hard. Was it that obvious? Was he that obvious? He looked down at his shoes, falling completely silent. Yeah, it was more than terrifying to have someone he barely knew cloud his mind so easily. He looked up into the knowing chocolate eyes.

"I'm not telling you what to do, but try and lay off Rome a bit. He's trying hard too. You really were the love of his life, not that he'll admit it now," Seth explained, smiling, thinking of all the times him and Roman had spent talking about Cody. "Asking him to move on so quick is like you saying you two never meant anything."

Cody just listened, thinking about the words. He wasn't trying to hurt the other man, he was just trying to make their lives as normal as possible. He hated that he couldn't remember anything, he really did, but he was tired of hearing that he was the one at fault. "He's not so innocent," he nearly snarled.

Seth chuckled. "Oh, I know. He's stubborn and makes stupid decisions sometimes but he has a good heart. I know, we've only been friends since kindergarten," he laughed, looking over at Cody's solemn face. "I'm not saying he's innocent in all this, but he's dealing with it better than a lot of people. Most people would've walked away by now. Roman's just clinging to what you'll give him, even if that's just a rocky friendship. It might take a little time, but he'll let go, if that's what you really want."

Cody sat completely still, that last comment really getting to him. Did he really want Roman to let go? Did he really want their past to be completely gone and over? It was something he had to seriously think about.

* * *

Seth sighed, looking through the photos in his phone as he laid back on Phil's bed. He was waiting on the other man to get home from the shop. He landed on one of Dean sticking his tongue out at him and he gave a small, watery smile.

Even through everything, he still loved that smile, that handsome, playful face. His heart hurt thinking about just how much he still loved Dean. He flipped through a few more photos, curling closer into his pillow with each one he saw of Dean.

He almost felt stupid for how much he missed the other man. He'd had the same argument several times over in his mind. He'd been nothing more than a challenge for Dean. In the end it had ended like every other relationship Dean had ever had. Seth blew out a breath, resting his phone next to his head on the pillow, his eyes closing.

He laid there, slowing his breathing, trying to settle his mind so he could sleep. His talk with Cody had made him think about so much more than he wanted to deal with. He hadn't come back to Phil because he'd missed him, he'd come back because Phil loved him. He'd hoped that somehow they could try again and everything would be okay, that he would be happy, but that wasn't the case. He wasn't happy with Phil: he was comfortable.

Seth let his mind wander, slowly letting him slip into a comfortable sleep, one that was completely void of dreams, a nice change to his usual restless nights filled with dreams of a certain blond haired, blue eyed man.

Phil stepped into the room a couple hours later wearing nothing but a pair of basketball shorts. He smiled, looking down at his boyfriend. He reached over, running his hand through the loose hair. Easily, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to Seth's forehead, reaching for the other man's phone to set it on the night stand.

"Dean," Seth murmured in his sleep, his lips turning upwards in a small smile.

Phil felt a stabbing in his heart as he looked down at the illuminated screen, a picture of Dean and Seth showing up. He glared at the two smiling faces, hate and anger filling him. His jaw tightened as he saw that same look of happiness and love on Seth's face in the picture as well as on his peacefully sleeping face. He dropped the phone, grabbing the collar of Seth's shirt and yanking him from the bed.

Seth jerked awake, arms reaching out for anything to keep him from falling. He felt his lower half slam into the floor, his bleary eyes looking up into the angered face. "What-?" He didn't get a chance to ask as the first strike landed across his face, successfully silencing him.

"He's all you care about, isn't he?" Phil asked, voice deadly cold. He hauled Seth up by his collar, their eyes meeting, scared browns meeting fiery green. "Even in your sleep all you do is call out for him!" He reeled his hand back before landing another hard slap across Seth's face. "After everything, you want him! Ever since the time he stayed with you, you've wanted him!"

He was losing Seth again. He was losing him to that piece of garbage. He felt the fear fill him, mixing with the hurt and anger. It coursed through him, making his mind go fuzzy. He couldn't handle being left behind again. Didn't he matter? Didn't his love mean anything? Wasn't he the one that Seth had come back to? Wasn't Seth the one that wanted them to work?

Seth flinched, trying to break free from Phil's grasp. He closed his eyes, wildly jerking in all directions to be free from Phil. He'd never seen him so angry and he wasn't sure what to expect. He cracked an eye open, watching as Phil reeled back a fist. At that moment he knew it wasn't going to be a normal fight. Never had Phil ever hit him with a closed fist.

* * *

Cody laid back on his pillows, closing his eyes and letting his mind wander. He'd spent the last week or so really thinking over what Seth had said. For hours he tried to understand what it was about Roman he was attracted to. He certainly couldn't deny that the Samoan man was handsome, nor could be deny the fact that he had an ungodly sexy body. Cody smiled, thinking about the one and only time he'd seen Roman in his boxers.

After his smiled died down, he continued thinking. There was so much more than physicality that pulled him to Roman. He really enjoyed how gentle Roman was, the normally easygoing attitude, his playfulness, but most of all how Roman protected things he cared about so fiercely without a single regard to how it might harm in the end.

Cody closed his eyes, replaying his conversation with Seth over in his head.

_It might take a little time, but he'll let go, if that's what you really want."_

Cody sighed, his blue orbs opening as he stared up at the ceiling. He wasn't sure what he wanted. Part of him wanted Roman to move on and find someone else so he could be happy but there was another part of him that wasn't ready for Roman to let go. He rolled to his side, curling under his blankets. He had to stop feeling like he did. He had to stop the jealousness that seemed to take over whenever he saw someone else with Roman.

He tried to move onto another topic in his mind, noticing that he still hadn't spoken to Roman much at all, mostly because it was the week of finals and Roman was spending more and more time at the University trying to catch up on last minute assignments and the overwhelming amount of work that came with finals. He was thankful that they were almost over.

Not that it mattered much. He'd overheard Roman making plans with Jay for today, both being off one Saturday together finally. Cody almost hated that he felt that pang of jealousy in him again. It wasn't like he didn't normally have something to do on his Saturday's off, though normally he spent them with Drew, whom was actually working overtime.

He kicked the covers off of him, grumbling under his breath that he was tired of everything weighing down on him. He needed someone to talk to about it all, someone that wouldn't repeat a word of it. He needed Seth. He reached for his phone on his nightstand and quickly searched for the other man's number. He hadn't talked to Seth since their conversation and he hoped he wasn't calling while Seth was out working.

"Hello?

Cody could hear the tiredness in Seth's voice. "Hey, you busy? I was hoping we could talk later today," he greeted back, listening intently to the other man.

"I… I don't think today's good."

Cody suddenly knew something was wrong. Just the skittish way Seth was talking was a major tip off. "I really need to talk to you Seth," he pushed, wondering what kind of lie he could come up with. "It's about Roman." It wasn't a lie. He wanted to talk about the bigger male, but finding out why Seth sounded like he was terrified to meet was weighing heavier in his mind.

Seth sighed on the other end. "Okay, where do you want to meet up at?"

"How about the boardwalk?"

* * *

Cody was waiting at the pier, slurping down a purple slush when his brows knitted together. It was chilly for Florida weather, but nowhere near cool enough for a long sleeved shirt. His eyes landed on Seth as he walked up, a thin long sleeves shirt covering his arms, loose blue jeans covering his legs, aviator sunglasses covered his eyes and a ball cap, slightly crooked to one side, rested on his pulled back hair. He looked the man over again, realizing he'd never seen Seth so covered up.

"Hey," Seth said quietly, smiling at Cody. He didn't take his glasses off, just shoved his hands in his pockets. "You wanted to talk?"

Cody nodded, a frown settling deep on his lips. "Yeah, why are you wearing a long sleeved shirt? It's like sixty-five degrees out here. Aren't you hot?" he asked, reaching out and tugging lightly on the loose sleeve. He was surprised when Seth flinched away.

"Just cold I guess," Seth mused, trying to throw out a laugh. He knew it sounded weak and forced but he wasn't about to let Cody know it. "So about Rome?"

Cody nodded, starting their walk down the boardwalk, looking over at Seth. "You gonna take the glasses off?" He watched as shaky hands touching the cool wire before they were lowered. Instantly he stopped in his tracks, his eyes landing on the dark blue and purple bruise that outlined Seth's left eye. "What the fuck happened?!"

Seth stopped, looking down at the sidewalk as he folded the sunglasses and hooked them in the collar of his shirt. "Nothing serious," he lied, trying hard to play off the bruise. "Phil and I were rough housing around and he accidentally elbowed me in the eye. Total accident."

Cody gave a hard look, looking over the healed up split lip lower lip on Seth's right side. "That's not an accident," he growled low in his throat, grabbing Seth's bearded chin and turning him so they could look each other in the eye. His jaw tightened when he saw the shallow cut that ran through Seth's right eyebrow. "What the hell happened Seth?"

Seth shook his head, a shiver running through him. "Nothing Cody, just leave it alone," he pushed back, pulling free from Cody's gentle touch. "We're here to talk about Roman right? Are things going better with you two?"

"Not really," Cody answered, deciding that he'd go along with the little game. He'd talk about Roman a little bit but the first chance he got he'd find out what truly happened. "He's busy with finals."

Seth nodded. "Yeah, it's that time of the year," he breathed, thinking just how close Christmas was. "Christmas is in like three weeks, I almost forgot." He tried to chuckle, finding that it came out broken and shallow. "You get Roman anything?"

Cody shook his head. He hadn't been thinking about how fast Christmas was approaching. He opened his mouth, ready to ask Seth what he was doing for Christmas when he was cut off by the other man's punk rock ringtone. He watched as Seth's sun kissed face paled and he shakily answered his phone.

Seth swallowed hard as he listened to the upbeat voice on the other end. "No, just out getting a new memory card for my camera, that's all," he answered, his body starting to shake. "Yeah, I can meet you. I don't mind. Yeah, see you there. Bye." He hung up and looked over at Cody. "I gotta meet up with Phil. Rain check?"

Cody nodded, watching Seth as he hurriedly put on his sunglasses and turned to walk back the way they'd come. He shook his head, reaching into his own pocket for his phone. He scrolled through his contacts before landing on 'Ro' and hitting dial. He heard a few rings before a deep rumbling 'hello' filled his ears.

Cody bit his lower lip, that voice doing more to him than he wanted to admit. "Roman, I need you to come home," he said gently, hurrying back to his car, tossing his half finished drink in a passing trash can.

"Right now?" Roman asked, irritation and frustration evident in the deep voice. "Can it wait?"

Cody nearly growled into the receiver. "No, it can't wait. It's fucking important," he retorted, completely not in the mood for Roman's obvious dismissal. "I need you to call Dean too."

"What's going on?" Roman asked, his voice a little softer, a little faster as it filled with unease. "What happened?"

"Just meet me at home, bring Jay if you need to. Tell Dean it's about Seth," Cody explained, jogging up to his car and unlocking the door. He yanked the door open and slid in.

"Is he okay? What happened?" Roman asked, his voice hurried and heavily filled with worry. "Cody, what's going on?"

"Just fucking meet me at home, okay? I'll explain it as soon as you get there," Cody snapped back, turning the key and hurrying out of the parking lot. "I'll see you there." With that he hung up and hurried back.

It was a quick fifteen minute trip and he was back in the driveway, quickly walking into the house. He paced around the living room, waiting for Dean and Roman to hurry back. He bit his lower lip, wishing he didn't see Seth's bruised up face every time his eyes closed. He looked up a few minutes later, the door crashing open, Dean storming in and grabbing him by the collar.

"What the fuck's going on?" he asked, his voice shaking almost as bad as his hands as he looked into Cody's blue eyes. "What's wrong with Seth?"

"Dean, let him go!" Roman growled as he walked in just a moment later, Jay in tow behind him. He grabbed the shoulder of Dean's shirt, pulling him back before stepping between the two, his bigger body protecting Cody's smaller one. He turned to Cody, waiting for answers. "What's going on?"

Cody swallowed hard, his gaze darting from Roman's grey eyes back to the troubled blues on Dean. "I think Phil's hitting Seth," he started, wincing at the hateful way Dean's eyes narrowed. "He had this horrible black eye just a little bit ago at the pier and he was wearing a long sleeved shirt." He stopped, the dark look on Dean's face almost terrifying.

Dean shook in anger, the thought of anyone putting their hands on Seth sending him right over the edge. He turned, his fists tight. He took a step towards the door, Roman catching his arm. His scowl met an equally angered face. "Don't fucking stop me Roman. I'm gonna break that fuckers face," he growled, trying to pull free from the strong hand. "Let go or I'll break you in half."

"I find that hard to believe for one, two you don't even know where he's at," Roman muttered, turning his attention back to Cody. "Are you sure?"

Cody just stared at Roman. "Are you calling me a liar? Why the fuck would I make this up?" he nearly yelled, glaring at the Samoan man. "His eye looks like shit. I know what it looks like when someone gets punched in the face."

"That's not what I meant," Roman tried to say, Dean breaking free from his hold. He chased after him, grabbing his arm again. "Calm down Dean." He stared down into the darkened eyes. "Don't go out there with your guns cocked. Think this through first."

Dean jerked free from Roman's grip, storming away. "Don't get in my way, or else I'll make sure you can't do it again." He got into his truck and peeled out as he backed out of the driveway. He wasn't about to let someone get away with laying their hands on the man he loved.

Dean couldn't think straight. He'd always suspected something was going on between Seth and Phil to that degree, but anytime he questioned Seth about it, he was always told some lame excuse. He bit the inside of his cheek, tasting blood as he slammed down on the accelerator. He knew where Seth would be and he wasn't about to sit back idly and let Seth get hurt.

He barely paid any attention to the rules of the road as he weaved in and out of traffic. His anger only rose as he got closer and closer to his destination. It wasn't until he'd laid eyes on Seth's Honda that he felt something inside him snap, his vision going red and his mind going numb.

He pulled into a parking spot and slammed the truck into park before he got out and stormed into Ink Inc. He looked up at the woman at the counter, her eyes growing wide.

"Ambrose," she murmured, heart pounding at the way he stood there in the door, his blue eyes scanning the room. "What are—" She stopped, Dean passing by her without a second look. "Wait you can't go back there!"

Dean ignored her protest as he stormed past the double doors, his eyes landing on the man he was looking for. Seth was sitting at Punk's table, his hat and glasses off, showing his bruised face. He tasted blood flow thicker in his mouth as his teeth sunk deeper into his cheek, shredded the inside.

It wasn't until Dean's eyes fell on the ravenette that he lost all control. He rushed over, his feet moving fast and numb. Phil's back was to him, facing Seth. "You mother fucking piece of shit!" he snapped, his left hand grabbing the right shoulder of Phil's t-shirt. He yanked the other man back off his tattoo stool and to the floor, his right fist swinging hard at the other man's face.

Seth only watched in terror as Dean's right fist smashed right down into Phil's nose, before he cocked back and landed another blow to the man's right eye. "Dean!" he cried after the initial shock had set in. He jumped up, grabbing Dean's arm, trying to keep him from pounding away.

"How the fuck can you put your hands on him like that? Huh?" Dean asked, stumbling backwards as Seth pulled him. He stomped at Phil's side, trying to pull free from Seth's grip. He couldn't think, couldn't feel anything other than anger and resentment. "You're nothing but a sack of shit Brooks! Fucking let me go!"

Phil curled his arms up around his head, trying to protect himself at least a little as the heavy booted kicks rained down on him. He really didn't have much time or space to move out of the way. He could barely look up into the angered eyes of the other man. But with the glance he did get he only saw fire, a deep set hatred in them.

"You ever put your fucking hands on him again I'll fucking kill you, you sorry son of a bitch, you fucking hear me?" Dean yelled, pushing Seth back and falling to his knees as his hands wrapped around Phil's throat. His fingers tightened, cutting off the air to Phil's lungs.

Phil tried to pull Dean's iron clad hands from his throat as he gasped for air, his feet kicking at the back of the other man. He couldn't say that he didn't feel fear as he looked into those eyes. They were so cold, so stoic, like eyes of an angered demon. The back of his head collided with the tiled floor and he saw stars as pain shot through him. His head lifted up only to crash back down with equal force.

"Dean!" Seth tried again, wrapping one arm around Dean's neck, trying to pull the other man back. "Let him go Dean, you're gonna kill him." He felt Dean pull back, the blond breathing heavy as he looked back at him. His heart was racing almost to the point that he couldn't feel the beats.

Dean looked over Seth's bruised face before looking down at the long sleeves. His eyes narrowed as he grabbed one of Seth's arms and yanked the loose sleeve up, showing nothing but hand sized bruises all up and down Seth's forearm. He shook his head, turning to where Phil was laying, coughing and gasping for air. "If you ever—"

"You're trying to protect the honor of some fucking whore?" Phil gasped out, scooting back against the leg of his table, his olive eyes meeting Dean's. He coughed again, rubbing his throat with one hand. "Look at you, all strung out like a fucking junkie on him. He's not even that good."

Seth felt each word stab him in the gut, each hurtful word worse than the last. He swallowed hard, his hold loosening on Dean. He just couldn't believe what he was hearing, everything over the last month had been nothing. He'd only been playing the role of Phil's bitch.

"Yeah, he's used goods Ambrose. He'll spread those long legs for anyone that asks him nicely, don't you remember?" Phil growled, barely catching the blur that was Dean. He felt his head snap to the right, a punch landing hard to his left cheek. "He's got you wrapped up good, his mouth must still be amazing, or did you not like the video?"

Seth's heart nearly stopped in his chest. Had Phil really sent Dean that video of them? He swallowed hard, unable to say anything as Dean threw another punch and another. He tried to stand, his legs weak. It wasn't until he heard the loud banging of steel on steel did he look over at Shannon, who was standing at his table with a lead pipe.

Shannon's teeth were gritted as his eyes narrowed on the two fighting. Behind him Angelina and Ashley were watching with wide eyes. "Get off him Ambrose," he growled, walking over and fisting his hand in the back collar of Dean's shirt. He yanked the other man back, holding the pipe high above his head. "Normally, I don't get involved in other people's shit, but this is my fucking shop. Either get the fuck out or I'm calling the cops. You fucking hear me?" His voice was low, deadly and for a man only five foot six he sounded like a giant.

Dean spit off to the side, standing and looking down at the bloody lip and fresh black eye on Phil's face. "Fine, I'm fucking out," he growled, narrowing his eyes on the smug smirk. "Don't cross paths with me Brooks, next time there won't be anyone to hold me back." His gaze moved to Seth, his jaw tight as he looked over the bruises once again. He didn't utter another word as he stormed out of the tattoo parlor, kicking the front door open as he left.

Shannon sighed, shaking his head as he walked over to Phil and hauled him up. "You good?" he asked, his voice still low. Once he got a nod he spoke again. "Good." This time he reeled back a fist and under cutted Phil in the gut, causing the taller man to double over in pain, his breath stolen by the swift strike. "What the fuck's wrong with you man? You need fucking help."

Angelina and Ashley helped Seth to shaky feet, both leading him to the front, one smoothing back loose bits of hair, the other holding him steady on his feet.

Seth shook his head, looking over his shoulder at laughing green eyes. He felt sick. He jerked free from the gentle hands and hurried outside, rushing around the corner of the building and vomiting into the alleyway. He stood there shaking, heart pounding. Everything he believed had been a lie. Phil thought of him as nothing more than a whore and Dean had just left him there. He heaved again, a shaky hand clutching the brick to keep him from falling to his knees.

* * *

(A/N): Well, that's probably only my second or third fight scene ever, so I hope it doesn't suck too bad. Haha. But yeah, Phil finally got what was coming to him, so what's going to happen between Seth and Dean? And Cody, he's really thinking about his thoughts with Roman. Cray. Anyway, what do you think lovelies? I'd love to hear it! As always, onwards and upwards! Title is Fight For You by Jason Derulo.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


	25. Nothing Left But Tears

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 24.  
**

**Note: Get those fucking tissue boxes and pillows ready for the next couple chapters! This chapter was something you've all been waiting for! Now, I'm going to fucking crash out some where, I'm exhausted. See ya'll Monday! Enjoy -JJ**

* * *

_**Nothing Left But Tears**_

Seth sat in his car, his eyes focused on the garage. His lower lip was stuck between his teeth as his heart pounded in his chest. He closed his eyes, taking a slow, deep breath and letting loose as he opened the door and stepped out. He'd been mulling everything over for two days, telling himself that he needed to go talk to Dean, at least tell him he was sorry for causing so much trouble. He slowly walked up to the office door, pulling it open, the doorbell ringing, showing that he was there. He swallowed hard, it was now or never that he faced the other man.

He walked up to the counter, his thoughts racing in his head. Would Dean even want to see him? After all, he'd been the one to leave Dean. He tried to push those thoughts away. Whatever Dean said to him, he deserved. He tried not to hope that Dean would pull him into a strong hug, and just let him rest there. Even after everything all he wanted was to be in those arms.

"Seth?" as small voice came, the small raven haired woman walking in from the work bay to behind the counter. "What did you need?" She was meek, unsure of how to act with the other man in front of her, after all, the last time they'd seen each other she'd been near naked in Dean's living room.

Seth felt his blood start to boil, anger bubbling in the pit of his stomach at the sight of her ]as she walked right in front of him on the other side of the counter, rubbing her dirty hands in a red mechanic's towel. "Is Dean here?" he asked, voice stiff. He really didn't want to see her, still more than a little pissed that she would move in on Dean knowing that they'd been together.

Paige looked down at her hands as they wrung the towel roughly. "He's out getting lunch. I can call him and let him know you're here," she said softly, looking up into the darkened chocolate eyes, noticing the black eye. Her heart jumped, remembering what Dean had said the day before about getting into a fight over the two toned man. "It'll only take—"

"No, I'll catch up later," Seth hissed, turning his back to the woman, ready to walk out and never look back. He took a step towards the door, her small voice calling after him to stop. He felt the cool doorknob in his hand as he stood there, fighting with himself internally if he should turn around and acknowledge her or not.

"Please wait. I want to talk to you," she said again, biting her lower lip, the jeweled end of her lip stud scraping against her top teeth. She tucked the towel into her back pocket as she stuck her head out into the work bay. "I'm going on lunch Titus! I'll just be outside."

"Both of you are going on lunch?" a deep voice called, the big ebony colored man walking up from the basement of the work bay. "You're killing me kid." He sighed, more out of disappointment than frustration. "Hurry up, I wanna get these done before we close. Tell Ambrose he better hurry up too. I'm gonna kick that kids ass I swear." He was only teasing, knowing that Dean was really going through a rough spot in his life. Dean had worked for him on and off since the blond had been in high school. He knew more about Dean than he cared to admit and even with the nine year age difference, he really felt like an older brother to him.

Paige smiled, nodding at her boss. "Sure thing Titus," she answered, turning back to the office. She clocked out for lunch and followed Seth outside. "Thank you for waiting up. I wanted to talk to you about a few things." She was nervous, knowing that Seth could either believe her or not.

"If it's about Dean, I don't want to hear it," Seth growled out, looking down into her dark eyes. "I don't want to hear about how good he is in bed, or how it was a one time thing. I've had my heart ripped up enough." He turned his attention back towards the road as he walked into a grassy area. "So if that's all you have to say, you might as well go back inside."

Paige could feel the coldness in Seth's words. She smiled softly, unzipping her coveralls and pulling her arms free. She tied the sleeves around her waist, leaving her in a black tank top. She felt the cool breeze rush across her sweaty skin and she shivered happily. "I wouldn't know what he's like in bed," she said gently, looking up into the tight features.

"Sorry that I messed that up for you," Seth bit out, biting his lower lip as his fists tightened at his sides. He didn't want to think of what would've happened if he hadn't showed up. He'd only played the scenario over and over in his mind of Paige showing off the sexy lingerie for Dean before stripping for him, maybe blowing him on the couch before he fucked her six ways from Sunday on it, or they fucked all over his house, or she led him back into his bedroom to give him a wild ride.

Paige tried not to smile. "I wouldn't want to know what he's like," she murmured, looking across the street as she sat down. "Sit with me?" She was asking nicely, gently, her entire body shaking from more than the cool breeze drying her sweat. "I think you should hear it from me."

"I don't want to hear shit from you," Seth nearly yelled, looking down at her. "Why did you have to step in? I was finally happy! I had everything I've ever wanted. I finally had the man I love!" He felt tears burn the backs of his eyes as his voice cracked. "I don't want to hear your lousy excuses."

Paige felt her heart ache, finally realizing just how much she'd affected the older male. "Seth, nothing happened with me and Dean," she said, patting the grass next to her again. "Nothing would ever happen between us." She took a deep breath, pulling her knees to her chest. "I'm a lesbian."

Seth's eyes snapped down at the averted eyes. "That's a sick joke to play on someone," he snarled, crossing his arms over his chest. "Neither of you have to lie to me. I'm not stupid."

Paige took a deep breath, growing quickly irritated. "You may not believe it but I'm still a virgin, physically. I've never been with any man, and I never plan to be," she explained, reaching into her coveralls and pulling out a small black and silver studded wallet. "This is Nattie. She's my girlfriend." He pulled out the photo of her and a taller blond woman, a streak of pink in her long blond hair. "We've been together a couple years now."

Seth looked down, his trembling hand taking the small photo. His eyes widened as he looked down at the intimate pose of Paige in the bigger woman's lap, the tanned arms wrapped securely around Paige's pale waist. He swallowed hard, their lips pressed together in a chaste kiss. He looked down at Paige, unsure if he was ready to believe her or not. "Then why were you…?"

Paige smiled, taking her photo back and tucking it safely away. "Dean's the only real friend I have here. Nat and I moved here together because her job relocated her. I wanted to surprise her with something sexy for our anniversary and since Dean is so blunt with what he thinks, I figured he could help me without hitting on me," she explained, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on one knee. "I'm not saying you weren't justified in freaking out on us, because I probably would have too, but I want you to know the truth."

Seth stood there, still finding it all so hard to believe. "But if that is all true, then why did you flirt with me when I first met you? Why did you grab Dean's ass?" he questioned, watching the smile broaden on her lips.

"I'm not fully out. Dean was the only one that knew at the time. Titus just found out after everything happened and now you. My parents are really religious and would freak if I told them, not to mention where I grew up isn't very homo-friendly," she went on, sighing softly. "I'm in a new place with no friends and no idea if I would be outed. The only reason I said anything in front of Dean was because of how he talked about you. He really does care about you. I don't think I've heard anyone talk about someone else as much as he does." She chuckled, looking over as Seth lowered down to sit next to her on the grass.

There was so much going on in Seth's head. If everything he'd been told was right than he'd completely flew off the handle for nothing. He hoped that it was the truth, that Paige wasn't lying. He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. He felt so stupid. He'd only caused so much more pain that actually listening to Dean.

"I'm sorry for everything Seth. I really am. I know that it cause a lot of trouble between you and Dean. I just… I just wanted to tell you the truth. He's really been torn up over you leaving him and then when he attacked that guy. He was sure that the cops were going to come after him. He was a wreck yesterday, he was so worried about you that he could barely focus and Titus sent him home. I don't even want to think about what it's done to you."

Seth listened intently to the smaller woman, mulling her words over in his head. They sounded genuine, like she was really telling him the truth. He looked down at his shaking hands, wanted desperately to believe her, but after everything that had happened, he still found it a little hard.

"Dean's back," Paige said gently, looking over her shoulder. She smiled, her eyes meeting wide blue ones. "If you still wanted to talk to him."

Seth turned quickly, looking behind them at the other male, his blue coveralls covered in grease and oil. He smiled softly, taking in the apprehensive and uncomfortable look on the other man's face. He stood, turning his full attention to Dean as he left Paige. His mind was running fast again, unsure of what to say, how to apologize for dragging Dean into such a mess. He stopped just a few feet in front of Dean, his smile slowly falling as nerves took over. "Hey," he breathed, his body quivering to be in the other man's arms.

"Hey," Dean repeated, watching as chocolate eyes looked down at the grass. His tongue ran along the inside of his shredded cheek, wondering how to continue. He'd been thinking hard on what he wanted to say to Seth the next time they saw the other, but he hadn't thought it would be so soon.

"I'm sorry. With Paige and how I reacted and the video and Phil and—"

Dean softly smiled, taking the last few steps, his rough hands cupping Seth's face gently. "Shut up." He pressed the softest kiss he could to the soft petals of pink flesh. He pulled back, looking into the watery, confused eyes he loved so much. "I love you," he murmured, Seth's shaky hands resting on the backs of his. "And I would take anyone out for you. I've wanted to hit that fucker since the day we met. He's always flaunted having you in front of me."

Seth felt a weak smile touch his lips. "I'm still so sorry," he barely whispered, leaning in and resting his forehead against Dean's shoulder. "I don't deserve someone like you."

Dean only wrapped his arms around the smaller built man, closing his eyes and holding him close. "I think I should be the one saying that Seth."

* * *

Roman tipped the brown bottle upwards, draining the last bit with a smile. "So, things are better?" he asked, looking across the table at the blue eyed male. "Seth let me know you two talked."

Dean nodded, thinking back on the last couple days. He'd done everything in his power to show Seth that he wasn't angry, that he still loved him, that the entire fight could be forgotten. He'd found it was harder than he thought it would be to convince Seth that they could still be together, they could be happy and that Seth wasn't damaged goods. "A little. He's still stuck on going back to Punk. I still can't believe that fucker just acted like Seth was his own personal whore," he growled, taking a drink of his own beer. He shook his head, anger bubbling inside him as he lowered the bottle from his lips.

"He'll come around," Roman encouraged gently, thinking of the two. "He's got everything he could ever need in you." He smiled at the other man. He really was happy for Dean and Seth. He'd waited years for the two to just give into the other, and finally after the biggest blow up anyone could imagine, they finally had each other. "Just hold onto it Dean. Don't let him go."

Dean knew that the shaky words held a double meaning. He sighed, looking down at his bottle of beer, swirling it around by the neck. He wasn't sure how to bring up his concerns without half way ripping the Samoan's heart out. He took a breath. "Rome, what's going on with you and Cody? You haven't talked about him since the day I called him a bitch," he finally asked, knowing that Roman needed to let it all out and if he was going to be the only to ask, then so be it. He'd rather Roman took it out on him than someone else close to him. "You can't keep going on like this man. He's gonna rip your heart outta your chest if you aren't careful."

Roman snickered humorlessly, almost sadly. He slouched down in the bench seat, his mouth sliding into a frown. "Too late," he murmured, his hands clasping together on the table in front of him. "He's spending all his time with Drew. I hear him on the phone when he thinks I'm busy. They sound pretty serious." He paused, shaking his head gently. "I feel stupid for still hanging on. He obviously isn't going to suddenly remember."

Dean nodded mutely, heart pounding. He didn't know what to say. He really felt sorry for Roman. He looked down at the table, sure that he'd never be able to fully understand what Roman was going through. He looked up into the offset grey eyes. "I'm always here Rome, anytime you need someone," he finally said, reaching over and tapping his hand on Roman's a couple times. "I know you don't want to hear it, but maybe it really is time to move on."

Roman shook his head, pulling his arms back to cross over his chest. "I'm trying Dean. I would love to just stop feeling like this all the time but that's hard to do when he really is my heart. I've never loved anyone the way I love Cody. Nothing I do gets me very far. And every time I try, I end up with the silent treatment."

Dean's brows furrowed as he thought about those words. He knew that Cody had insisted on Roman moving on as well, so why would he give Roman any kind of negative feedback for doing as asked? He went to answer, pausing when his phone started to vibrate in his pocket. He looked down, pulling his phone out and looking at the screen. He felt his lips turn up into a smile when he noticed that it was a message from Seth. He quickly read the message before tapping at the screen and putting the phone away. "Hey, I'm not trying to bail on you but Seth wants to talk. You gonna be okay here?"

Roman nodded, standing with Dean. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm just gonna have a couple more rounds and go home. Cody's probably out anyway," he muttered bitterly, looking down at the floor. "You go talk to Seth. Make the kid understand for once." He smirked at that comment. A few moments later him and Dean were saying their goodbyes and Roman was walking up to the bar. He ordered another beer before sitting back down at the now empty table alone.

He took a sip from the bottle, blowing out a slow breath. He let one elbow rest on the table top, his cheek resting against his fist, his head going into overload.

Everything was a mess: his head, his heart, every, single thought that seemed to spill out. He was a complete mess. He'd barely made it through the end of his classes, thankful for Brad's help as they days went on at the end of the semester. It was so close to a day he didn't want to remember, a day that once had been more special than anything else. He groaned, head pounding.

He'd been trying to push Cody out of his heart, or at least bury him deeper and deeper down to the point that he didn't have to deal with his ever stubborn love. Slouching back down in the seat, he stared at the bottle of beer, heart pounding at the thought that Cody was probably out with Drew, both happily wrapped in the other. He reached out for his beer, downing half of it. He felt pathetic. He was sitting there alone in a bar drinking his misery away.

Roman groaned again, setting the bottle back down. He thought over the last six months, starting from the moment he'd woken up from the accident to the very moment he'd walked into the bar.

He'd been on an emotional roller coaster. Every day seemed to send him through more twists and turns, ripping bigger and bigger chunks out of him. He shook his head, not wanting to think about it. He didn't want to think about Cody. He didn't want to think about how strong his love still was. And he sure didn't want to think about how he hoped that the jealousy he'd heard in Cody's voice and seen in his eyes would remind the smaller male about how much they'd loved each other.

He'd heard it at the hospital when Jay had come to visit, he'd heard it grow when Evan had been close to him, when he and Cody had argued about Brad. He'd seen it in those blue orbs after his and Brad's drunk kiss. It might have been darkened by the night and obscured by the angered tears, but he'd seen it. He knew Cody was jealous, he knew. He'd seen it plenty of times over the years they'd been together. What he didn't understand was why. Cody was happy with Drew, he was the one that had brought up him moving on, dating again. He just didn't get it. He rubbed his hands over his face, closing his eyes as he tried to stop thinking.

A warm hand on his shoulder, jerked Roman out of his trance. He looked up into smiling blue eyes. "Hey Brad," he murmured in greeting, a slow smile running over his lips. At least it was something to keep his mind off of Cody. "What're you doing down here?"

Brad shrugged, tossing his head towards the bar. "You think I was just gonna let you out on your own tonight?" he asked playfully. Once he saw the hurt look on Roman's features his playful demeanor fell slightly. "And Dean called me. He was bit worried. Your cousins are here too though, Trinity told them to come up and keep us company. So, how 'bout some real drinks?"

Roman chuckled, shaking his head at his office mate, enjoying see Brad out in a pair of jeans and loose t-shirt. It was a nice change from the office attire he was used to. "Real drinks?" he questioned, one eyebrow rising. "Psh, a real drink to you is like a martini."

Brad narrowed his eyes playfully at the Samoan man. "I'll have you know that I'm a fucking master at shots. I always out drank all the guys in my fraternity," he boasted, chuckling at the way Roman just shook his head with a low laugh.

"You sure about that?" Last time you had alcohol with me, you ended up with my tongue in your mouth," Roman countered, enjoying the way Brad's face lit up and the blue orbs looked away. "I think you're just trying to get a repeat. Is someone a little bi-curious?"

Brad rolled his eyes, laughing out loud. "Ha! Even if I was, I wouldn't go for someone I had to look at everyday. I can't have you falling for me, it would make days that we're in the office awkward as hell," he responded, moving to sit across from Roman. "Seriously though, how're you holding up? Dean said you were a bit down. I mean, considering the day an all."

Roman shrugged, feeling a lot better now that he wasn't alone with his thoughts. "I'm here," he muttered, reaching out for his beer and finishing it off. "That's about it." He felt a small smile creep across his lips, his grey eyes looking up into worried blues. "So, about those drinks?"

Brad smiled back, grabbing the empty bottles of beer and heading up to the bar. He tossed the bottles away and grabbed a few different shots for him and Roman, Jon and Josh following up with more as they joined them at the booth, Jon and Josh on one side, Brad and Roman on the other.

Roman clinked glasses with the three before downing the shot, his nose wrinkling at the bitter liquid. He smirked, taking another, sure that he would be able to out drink the others with ease. He watched as Brad kept up shot for shot with him, Jon and Josh backing off after the first couple or so. "Just give up pretty boy, you aren't going to win."

Brad scoffed, waving Roman off, ordering them both another round. "Doubt that Reigns. Seems like, I'm doing pretty well so far. You sure you can keep up with me?" he teased, nudging Roman as he took another shot, making a little slop down the bronze chin. He only watched the liquid, glisten on Roman's skin.

Roman chuckled, his phone starting to play a light tone signaling that he was being called. He reached into his pocket, pulling the phone out and looking down at it. His eyes widened when he saw a picture of Cody, showing that it was the smaller male calling him. He bit his lower lip, unsure if he really wanted to answer it or not.

"Don't let him bring you down man," Jon said, knowing all too well the look on Roman's face. "Let it go to voicemail. It's probably not important." He pushed over a fresh beer in Roman's direction, looking up knowingly into the grey eyes. "Boys night out, no women."

This made the others laugh out loud. Roman nodded, hitting 'ignore' before tucking his phone safely away in his pocket. He looked up at the three, taking a drink of the offered beer and smiling. He was thankful for them, they would keep his mind off of the smaller male.

Time went on with Brad and Roman finally giving up on their drinking contest, both too far gone to keep count of what shot they were on. They all heard last call and hurried to get a few more drinks, knowing that the bar would be closing in the next half hour. Brad and Roman took their last couple shots, both red faced and bubbly at the alcohol intake.

"You guys gonna be okay?" Jon asked standing, his phone in hand. "I gotta go, Trin's blowing my phone up about being out so late. I'm supposed to be opening the store tomorrow."

The others waved him off, telling him that they'd be fine. Josh was still rather sober, only having a couple drinks the entire night.

Roman felt his phone vibrate again and he knew it was Cody. He ignored it, like he had the entire night, sure that it was the fourth or fifth time that it had gone off in his pocket in the last five hours. "You gotta ride home?" he asked, trying hard not to slur his words as he looked over at Brad.

Brad shook his head, suddenly wishing he hadn't. Everything blurred together and he shut his eyes to keep focused, his body light and half numb. "No, I just live down the block. I'll walk."

"You mind waiting for me?" Roman asked, looking over at Josh, sure that the other man knew that he'd have to drive him home because he was so drunk. "I'mma make sure he gets home fine."

Josh nodded, almost laughing at the way the two poured out of the booth on unsteady legs "Don't get picked up for public intoxication now Rome, I'm not explaining it to your mom!"

Roman flipped his cousin off, following Brad out of the bar and into the frigid night air. "This is fucking Florida, why's it so fucking cold?" he asked, shivering slightly. "If I wanted this shit, I'd live somewhere up north."

Brad chuckled, bumping shoulders with Roman, leading him down the sidewalk. "Ya know, I woulda made it home fine," he murmured, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Better now though?"

Roman nodded, wrapping an arm around Brad's shoulders. "Yeah, thanks for being there for me. You know if you ever need someone, I'm here too," he said, looking down into blue eyes. He gave his best smile, stumbling over his feet just slightly. "And I'm just a little drunk."

Brad laughed, leaning into the other man's warmth. "I heard it could snow tomorrow, strange huh?" he asked, telling himself not to enjoy the way Roman's body felt against him. "Like, when the fuck does it snow in Florida?"

Roman only grumbled in response, stopping when he'd reached Brad's small bungalow style house. "This your place? It's nice," he commented, looking over the blue exterior, the white accents really complimenting the blue color.

"Thanks and yeah, it's home," Brad said, turning to Roman after they'd made their way up the few stairs to his small porch. He swallowed hard, looking up into the flush face, knowing his own cheeks were just as red from the alcohol. "If you ever need someone Rome, I'm here for you." He sucked in a slow breath, looking up into grey eyes.

Roman smiled, reaching over and ruffling Brad's wavy hair fondly. "I appreciate it," he murmured, stopping when Brad's hand touched his. He felt the warmth of the other man's hand against his and he took a step closer, sure that whatever it was that had a hold of him was due to his alcohol-laden brain.

Brad swallowed hard as he took the initiative and pushed up to press his lips against Roman's again. His heart fluttered when he felt Roman's hands on his shoulders, his back pressing against his front door.

Roman felt Brad's hands slide into his hair, messing up the smooth bun as his tongue eased into the smaller male's mouth. He heard Brad's whimper and desperately hoped to feel something as their tongues touched. He pulled back when he felt nothing, no spark, no real need in the desperate way their mouths moved against each other. "I'm sorry," he breathed, looking down into flustered blue eyes. "I can't do this."

Brad nodded, leaning heavily against the door, looking down at the painted wood of his porch. "No, it's okay," he breathed, telling his body to calm down, to ease up. "That was stupid."

"No, Brad, it's not you," Roman started, groaning at the awkwardness. "You're a great guy, and you're attractive, but right now it feels empty. Maybe after some more time or something, things could be different. But I still love him and I just can't."

Brad nodded again, closing his eyes. "It's fine Roman," he pushed out, already knowing the answer. In reality, he'd been thinking about the other man since their drunken kiss on Halloween and he wanted to try and explore the strange attraction he had to Roman. "I'll talk to you later okay?"

Roman nodded, pulling back from Brad, rubbing his face with one hand, sure that he was making a mistake just letting someone who was truly interested in him walk away like that. He started down the steps, shaking his head, wishing he could turn his emotions off and push Cody from his mind completely, at least for a little while.

* * *

Roman pushed open the door stumbling over his feet as he felt the warmth of the house rush over him. He smiled, happy to feel something other than the bitter cold against his skin. He shut the door louder than he'd meant to and kicked his shoes off. He could barely see straight, the alcohol wearing him down.

"Well look who finally decided to come home."

Roman looked up, wincing at the sudden movement. He groaned, seeing double for a moment as his eyes landed on Cody. "Fuck, do you have to yell?" he asked, coldly, standing up straight and rubbing his eyes. "It's not that late. Why are you bitching?"

Cody just stared at Roman, already angry at the other male. "It's three thirty in the fucking morning!" he snapped, walking up to where Roman was standing, looking up into the red face. "I tried calling and texting you all night to figure out where you were. I hope you didn't drive like that."

"No mom, I didn't drive. Josh brought me home," Roman retorted back, his voice low and irritated. "Why are you even worried about it? You weren't here when I left, I figured you were out with Drew."

Cody shook his head, letting Roman pass him. He watched the other man walk into the kitchen. He followed. "No, I was here, waiting on you to get home. Why didn't you answer me? I thought something happened to you!"

"How about you just not worry about me?" he asked, feeling like the words were phrased weird. He grabbed a glass, thinking a glass of water would do him some good. "Just mind your own business and focus on Drew." He knew he was being an asshole, but at that moment, he really didn't care. He'd had enough to think about that day and he was just ready to tell everyone exactly what he thought. "Why did you fucking call me so much anyway?"

Cody's jaw tightened as he walked over, grabbing the glass from Roman's hand and throwing it into sink, listening to it shatter on impact. "Because I was fucking worried about you Roman. You've never just up and disappeared. Dean and Seth wouldn't tell me anything and I got a little scared. I do care about what happens to you!"

Roman's eyes widened at the confession, his heart pounding. He looked away, groaning as he shook his head. "Just leave me alone," he muttered, walking away.

Cody was tired of Roman walking away from him. He was tired of all of their arguments ending the same way. He felt his stomach churn, his blood boil as he stood there with his fists tight at his sides. He as so tired of how they were. "Happy fucking anniversary!" he yelled, stopping suddenly after the words had left his mouth. He swallowed hard, Roman whipping around to look at him with wide eyes. He was silent, Roman walking back over to him.

Roman instantly felt his mind go sober, his body numb as he rushed over to Cody, grasping the other man's upper arms almost desperately. "What did you say?" he asked gently, desperately searching one eye before moving to the other and back again. "How do you know what today is? Huh?" He felt his body shake, his hands tightening on Cody. "Who told you?"

Cody shook his head, frozen as he looked into the desperate face, Roman's brows furrowing as they stood in silence. "I… I don't know," he murmured, unsure of why the words had even slipped free from him. "I didn't know…."

Roman sighed, leaning in and resting his forehead on Cody's shoulder. "Why?" he questioned softly, the pure anguish evident in his voice. "Why do you have to torture me like this?" He felt the burn of tears behind his eyes, body shaking. "Why can't you just remember me? Why?"

Cody stood there, frozen at Roman's words. He felt his heart pound, suddenly seeing just how much he'd meant to Roman and how he was constantly the one hurting him in the long run. "Roman," he breathed, wrapping his arms around the other man, holding him close as he felt the first hot tear plummet into the shoulder of his shirt.

"I just wish you'd remember," he finally said a few moments later, the tears gone from his voice. He pulled back, looking down at the floor. "Or I could forget everything too. Then we wouldn't be like this."

* * *

(A/N): Well, things are finally getting straightened out with Paige and Dean and Seth, and now Seth's got some self worth issues… But Dean's there for him. And Roman… talk about a shitty situation. Not just with Cody but now Brad too. Hm… So, bets on what's going to happen next chapter? Thoughts? I'd love to hear them! Onwards and upwards! Title is Nothing Left But Tears by Buckcherry.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


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